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Thanks for the pointers. Little confused regarding not going into MC's head in third person. I always thought that the advantage of third person was you could view any of the characters without restraint. I see, now that you point it out some of the dialogue is a little corny I'll look into...

Simply because I always want to improve my writing. I constantly look back at some of my chapters and think to myself: Did I really write this trash? I probably spend more time editing than writing, and yet it still looks bad.

Simple way to prevent disappointment that has always worked for me: Have low expectations. That way you can only go up. Plus I write because I enjoy it, any recognition my stories get is a bonus.

Well, guess I'll give it a shot. I'm not the most confident with this series though. Any pointers are always greatly appreciated. https://www.scribblehub.com/series/274071/love-thy-vampiress/

Main character seems like a child on christmas day. You did well displaying his excitement and showing his innocent naivety. It's not a bad read by any means, but I can't really feel it pulling me in. But this could be more due to my personal preferences, rather than anything you've done wrong...

In my opinion a good villain is how they contrast with the protagonist. You find a lot of villains have some sort of link to the main character, like an old friend, sibling, or parent. I like conflict of views as opposed to evil just for the sake of it.