Something something "I'm not a good writer myself, and my opinion is totally subjective and possibly influenced by reading too many low quality webnovels rather than any actual knowledge of what im talking about, so take my words with a whole brick of salt."
That said, I like a lot of it. It's an interesting start and I'm curious as to how things go.
In terms of problems, some of your punctuation feels a little off. I.e. "from old age and nowadays, she needed her glasses". Maybe it's just me, but it feels like the comma should either be somewhere else or maybe just nonexistent. It just kind of messes with the flow, imo.
The first dialogue between Anya and Zeno feels really stiff, mostly because you crammed in a lot of exposition that feels like it either didn't need to be there at that time or could have been said more smoothly. Instead. I just found myself thinking "Ah, exposition time." instead of feeling like I was seeing a character interaction, if that makes sense.
In a similar vein, it kind of hurts to see large paragraphs of dialogue exposition. It ruins my immersion because people don't really ever talk like that and I just imagine some woman unloading a two hundred word unbroken paragraph on a kid and think "how did he not interrupt her once?". I like the thing about him wanting to be like the king and it makes me think anticipate how that interaction is going to go, but there are probably better ways to do that exposition than an enormous paragraph of unnatural feeling text."
Also, I don't know if it's intentional, but it kind of feels like Zeno in particular speaks very stiffly. Phrases like "remain on the face of the earth" and "can explore what they desire" convey his view to me, but just feel inorganic as something I'm imagining a person saying, especially at breakfast and to the woman who raised him. The lack of any contractions whatsoever in anyone's dialogue doesn't help either.
Scene transition to the judgement platform feels rushed. It was a long scene at the house, followed a bit too quickly by "suddenly he left and now he's here."
Slightly awkward wording on the judgement platform. I initially assumed that both the knight and the demoruth were tied to the pole, which I assume is incorrect.
Not necessarily a writing thing so much as a personal exposition preference, but I was kindly of hoping to hear more about what exactly the "meecy" option is here. It feels like the demoruths and decievels are supposed to be totally irreconcilable, and Zeno already said he just wants to genocide them, so what exactly is their incentive to cooperate? What exactly is the point of the "warning" of the judgement platform that incentivizes surrendering when only death seems to await them as long as people like Zeno are around?
Also, more exposition dialogue that probably could have been broken up into shorter dialogue and a paragraph of exposition before or after it.
From a plot perspective, if the knights want to hide whatever it is the democrats are saying, and also want to get information out of them, it kind of feels silly to ask for information on a public platform and not a private torture chamber, followed by publicly executing them with a gag or something once they're no longer useful.
It makes sense as a way to tell the readers there's more beneath the surface, but from a world building perspective it just feels like the knights are kind of bad at this since they'd keep having to kill their their captives when they said the wrong thing.
Once again action feels like it could be described a little more thoroughly. The knight interrupted him, beheaded him, and was gone in two sentences. Not that I think it would be better with a gritty in depth analysis of every drop of blood or anything, but it just felt like the scene ended in a hurry.
The paragraph where Zeno is getting in line has a bizarre period that I guess might have been intended as a comma? Even as a comma, though, it feels awkward like with the glasses example above. The whole sentence could probably afford to be rerwitted to separate what he saw and what he did a little better, tbh.
I keep seeing commas that feel weird to me, and I'm not entirely sure what the logic of them is. I might suggest reading out loud to yourself and taking a pause when you have a comma to see how it affects the flow of the sentence.
Minor, but "spewed" feels like a weird choice if you aren't looking for negative connotation.
"Chatting their thoughts away"? Feels like kind of an odd expression, imo.
"Be the holy knight." Should probably be pluralized.
"I am very excited, so let's have fun" feels kind of awkward as well. Maybe it could be replaced with "I am very excited to be here" or something so that it's more Han just listing an emotion?
"Seem to pass" is also kind of odd since the poverty character would know definitively if they did or didn't. Unless he wasn't paying attention, in which case you should say that. Also, weird punctuation between those two sentences.
Bizarrely fast scene transition from the king telling a story to Zeno walking home. Surely there was more to say or progress to be made in leaving the school, seeing the king leave, etc?
Part ways to go their own ways is a bit of a weird one too, you may want to use a different word for one of the times so "ways" isn't repeating.
Overall, I like the start of the plot, I like the worldbuilding so far, and I like a lot of the description. The last paragraph in particular really caught my interest.
I'd say try going back over the dialogue and separating out what would casually be said from what you just want to have as world building. A lot of the information would have been more enjoyable just retold as Zeno's memory or something, wanting to be more like king Edgar, for example. Instead it suffers both as dialogue and exposition when it's in a wall of speech, at least for me.
The biggest thing, though, is that your syntax is just kind of off. I recommend carefully combing through again and reading it out loud to yourself with pauses on commas and periods to double check that you actually want all that punctuation where you have it, and that your sentences are stopping and starting where you want them to and properly separating ideas.
Also, once a month is pretty darn slow by basically any standard, so please don't be surprised if your story doesn't get much attention. I myself couldn't read something that sparsely updated because, well, I'd keep forgetting what I read last time and having to reread just to get back up to speed, which is more of a pain than I generally want to deal with.
All that said, I liked it, and look forward to what you put out next. Other than some distracting things, I enjoyed the read and think it looks like it could be an interesting story.
