Dawning Skye Opinions Please

Sara_Wilcox

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Feb 22, 2021
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Hello! This is my first time publishing, and I’m quite nervous about it. Other authors suggested posting a few of my chapters here for honest feedback. Any opinions are appreciated(so long as they’re respectful). Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy the first two chapters of my story😊
The rest(so far), can be found on the Webnovel App/site if you like it😁


CHAPTER 1: First Wedding Day

"WHERE IS SKYE?!"

’Am I hearing things? Or did someone just call me name?’

The sun shined brightly as it streamed through the windows, bouncing off of the almost-white marble floors of the castle. It stung the eyes of the young woman who was hastily being escorted down the great hall, towards the banquet room.

Skye had walked down this hall her entire life, but never had the floors ever seemed so blinding. It was an odd detail to focus on, but focus was hard to come by that day. She had sworn she’d heard someone calling out her name.. Her mind had a haze about it. The bride was tired, but her nerves kept her from falling to the exhaustion.

"SKYE!"

Horses nickered loudly outside, drawing the lass from her thoughts. She could hear men yelling as she walked, and swore she’d heard her name called again. Anyone present in Moonstone Castle should’ve been in the banquet hall; aside from the guards. Focusing on the ruckus instead of her feet, the bride nearly fell. Righting herself; Skye chided her own idiocy.

"Are ye alright? Why did ye trip?" the old servant escorting her asked with concern in her tone.

"I could’ve sworn I heard-ah, nevermind. Ima sure ’tis nothing," the lass focused on her walking, convinced her servant must not have heard the ruckus.

’The bride needs to walk down the aisle, not trip down it,’ she thought to herself.

The morning was cool, but the sun was quickly warming the day as the noon hour struck. She couldn’t eat much that morning, now her stomach was twisting in knots. It was her wedding, but she could find no happiness in the thought. For Skye believed that little happiness could be found in what came after.

The life of a normal girl is what awaited Skye Moonstone. She would marry the man her father has chosen, eat, then depart for her new home. It was nothing like the life she’d originally planned, but that life had died years ago, with him...

’I will bare Jacob’s children, and live a simple and quiet life.. I will do what father has ordered me to, since he wouldn’t listen.. I suppose that is what is expected of me as a woman, and I have no other choice in the matter,’ the bride thought bleakly.

"Lady Skye, we must hurry! Yer father will be furious if yer late to yer own weddin!" her servant nearly shrieked as she huffed with the pace.

"Do not worry yer self so, Peggy. We’ll be fine! Father knows that Ima never on time. That’s why he told me noon when the ceremony isn’t til half past that," the bride replied as she kept to Peggy’s slower pace.

Skye’s servant had been by her side for as long as the lass could remember. Peggy was closer to her than her own mother had been. Skye’s parents were more concerned with their wealthy lifestyle and maintaining it, than her. Money and position had always been what was most important to them. It was also the motive behind who they had chosen as her future husband, or so the lass suspected.
Skye had no bond with him, and barely knew him. The little she did know made her doubt her freedoms would be kept. As she stepped closer to the their destination, the bride’s mind began to wonder.

’What will me days be like now? At least here, I could ride me horse how I like.. Or cook in the kitchens whenever I felt bored, or found me self disinterested in me studies. Would Jacob even allow such things? Tis not common for a woman of status to cook, and he seems like the type who cares far too much about what others think.. ’

Skye’s thoughts became more erratic as her panic built from her unanswered questions..

’So few women are educated like me self.. Will there even be anyone there I can talk with, aside from Peggy? Will he still let me continue me studies, or will he forbid me? And what will he say when he sees me riding astride instead of sidesaddle like a ’respectable lady’? Fat chance he lets me keep Thoth; that beast of a horse will probably scare him.’

In a flash, they’d made it close to the doors of the banquet room. Skye hesitated when she saw the guards. Her life was about to become very different, but very boring. Especially if her future husband was like most men. ’Jacob is nothing like Him...’

A spark of anger began to build her ire. No matter who her husband would be, Skye would be herself. No one was going to take her freedom; even if she had to run to the Highlands to get away. She grew up believing she’d be able to make her own choices, and Skye refused to change on the fact; even if the groom was not her choice.

’I will Not turn into one of those submissive and docile housewives that has no say or will in her own life! I’ll die before that!’ Skye thought to herself, stoking her ire further.

As courage found her again, Skye walked up to the doors. Peggy gave her bairn’s hand a gentle squeeze, accompanied by a toothy smile. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes as she nodded at the lass she’d seen as her own child all these years. The young woman smiled back at her; with all the warmth she’d held in her heart for the old woman. Then; Peggy left her lady’s side to go and take her place amongst the other household servants. As well as let them know that the bride had arrived. Leaving her to face her fate alone.

The ruckus from outside seemed to have died down, making Skye curious at to what it was even about to begin with. She’d sworn she’d heard her name called, but hadn’t recognized the voice completely. It had definitely been a man’s voice, and a strange feeling gripped her heart when she tried to think on whom it could belong to. Shaking her head slightly, the lass attempted to rid herself of the feeling bubbling up from her gut.

Clearing her head, Skye took one last deep breath as the violinists began to play. She smoothed a non-existent wrinkle from her dress, and nodded to the guards. They smiled politely, and opened the doors wide. So as not to obstruct the guests’ view of the bride as she entered.

Hair down and flowing to show her untouched state; Skye Moonstone was a sight to behold. The light rebounded off of her white, diamond-studded dress; causing some of the guests to turn away a moment. It was lined with silver and white gold along the trim and bust. Her father wanted to display both his daughter, and their status to her future husband and his family. Her red-gold curls bounced with every step she took. The closer she came, the clearer her future husband’s face became.

Skye had known Jacob for two years, but not once had he ever spoken at length with her. In fact, the only words she had ever heard from him were of how attractive she was to him. He made her feel uncomfortable, and her skin crawled to know that he would be the man with whom she would spend the rest of her life with. She knew there would never be love between them, and her heart ached slightly for it. But at least, eventually; she would have her own children to love.

’That will be enough for me, I think,’ Skye thought sadly.

As she reached the halfway point down the aisle, the features of her betrothed came into focus. He was only an inch or so shorter than her father, which was still much taller than her. He had very light, golden-blonde hair that was of medium length, braided and pulled back. His jawline was somewhat soft, and his eyes were a bright brown color. His shoulders and chest were wide, and very muscular. He had served in the king’s army as a wall man; running all manner of gear up and down the stairs. He was also trained in swordsmanship and grappling, from what her maids had told her.

Indeed, they knew quite a bit about Skye’s future husband. Including things only a woman could come to know about a man. One maid in particular had made it a point to describe him as ’vigorous’ and ’the best beddin she’d ever had’. It had both disgusted and irritated her to find out at first. Then again, that could also work in her favor. She did not see herself as one of those women who would seek out their husband’s affections. ’Better he find a mistress to occupy his time with.’

’But I will still have to lay with him... to bare his children,’ Skye shivered as the thought popped into her head, and her eyes met those of her betrothed.

Only once had Skye seen the look he gave her now. And even then, it made her stomach turn. Jacob was good looking enough, but his eyes held smoldering ice. He looked her up and down; like how a wolf eyed a doe before ripping into it’s flesh. A cold shiver ran up her spine again. Skye’s heart began to beat erratically in her chest, and her pace slowed significantly.

Suddenly, all she could think about was running.. Running to the stables, jumping on Thoth, and riding until the black beast could no longer. Not that it would really help. Her future family was currently the wealthiest in all of Alcon Kingdom; next to the royals. They would hire the best trackers money could buy, and hunt her down. She exhaled a shaky breath at the thought.

’Liar...’ the random thought popped into Skye’s head as she panicked inwardly.

The lords and ladies stood now, and her father was beginning to look impatient. Skye’s slow in pace had been obvious. Some of the guests were making comments about bridal nerves, but she didn’t care. The look in Jacob’s eyes had changed to icy hostility. He held out his hand with a huff, as if to try and quicken her pace. As she reached out to place her hand in his, the doors to the room flew open. Five men clad in armor with the king’s insignia upon their chest plates marched through the doors, and down the aisle.

The man who led them made eye contact with Skye as he passed. His eyes were a vivid green, and familiar to her. It was gone the moment it had registered, but Skye could’ve sworn she’d seen a smirk..

’Was it even there? Why is my heart pounding? Could he have been the one callin’ out for me before?’ Skye thought as she gladly put her hand down to her side, and took a half step back; allowing the men to pass.

The green-eyed knight now stood between them, with his broad back to Skye. She didn’t even need to look at her father to know he was furious. This was supposed to be his perfect show of wealth and power: now interrupted. A vein on his neck bulged, and his face turned as red as his hair was in his youth. Taking two long strides, he closed the distance between him and the man; standing only two feet or so apart. He stood next to Skye’s betrothed, who was clearly seething with rage at the interruption as well.

"What the bloody Hell is going on?! Who are you? What right do ye have to interfere with me Daughter’s marriage?!" the Lord practically roared.

"Good to see you too, Lucas. It has been some time, but I never knew Lord Moonstone to one to break a contract," the man replied with an obvious smirk.

"Contract? What contract?! Who the devil are ye, boy?!" the lord yelled out of consternation.

"I am Tidas MacArthur, son of King Magnus MacArthur, Third Royal Prince of Alcon. And I have come to collect my bride!"

Chapter 2: My Betrothed

Gasps, murmuring, and overall shock from the guests erupted in the banquet room. Lord Moonstone stood frozen, recognizing the young man as soon as the name left his lips(as did Skye). The shock was expected, for the prince supposedly died two years ago. At least that was what Skye was told: what her father was supposedly told by the royal messenger. She had been contracted to Tidas since the age of five. It’d been an indispensable deal to both parties at the time.

Until recently, Skye’s family had been the wealthiest family in Alcon. Lord Moonstone was well liked and very charismatic, making him popular amongst the nobility. Her mother was an heiress due to her previous marriage, as well as her own family’s wealth. Lucas had married Lidia Drummond without the consent of her grandfather, her only remaining relative at the time. He came around once he learned of Lucas’ heroism, and of his raised station due to it.

The lord’s youth was spent mainly in service to the king. He had been on guard duty when the king’s younger brother attempted to take the throne by means of murder. Skye’s father was injured; taking a stab to the shoulder. However, he’d saved the king’s life in the process. Earning himself a massive raise in status.

After a few times socializing, Lucas had King Magnus’ favor and friendship. They often played strategy games together whenever he found himself in the Royal Palace. Even if he was meant to be on duty at times. After Lucas had finished his service, their friendship not only remained intact, but grew.

Along with a reward for saving him, King Magnus also proposed a royal match. Lucas Moonstone was strong, smart, and had married into great wealth. He was the type of man the king didn’t want venturing too far. All he had to do was marry one of his children off, and the familial bond would guarantee financial backing and loyalty to His crown. For while he did see Lucas Moonstone as a dear friend, the man was also a cunning businessman; first and foremost. Nobility status was one of the few things he could not achieve using just his shear will. Considering it was a royal contract, Skye’s father had jumped at the opportunity.

The prestige and security that came with being connected to the royal family was worth killing for, to him. For many reasons; some even King Magnus was not fully aware of. For Lucas saw the weight of the burdens his friend already carried. And had no wish to add to them. He needed only to raise his daughter to be good and chaise, and his family would be secure.

Lucas had glanced at his daughter who now stared with raised eyebrows at the prince. He wondered what she thought for a moment, but dismissed it. Regardless of how she felt on the matter, he would do whatever would keep her safest. No matter how it hurt Skye; she would live.

Head spinning with all that had happened within a few minutes, Skye strained to listen. She had a hundred questions running through her mind. ’Why did the palace assume he was dead? Where had he been these past few years? Why did he look almost nothin’ like the snot-nosed, scrawny little lad who used to tease me? Told me that me hair was a sign of bein’ a demon spawn?’

As she stared at his broad backside, Skye couldn’t help but take measure of him.

Tidas’ hair had been almost black as a boy. Now it had a soft, dark brown tone to it. It was lightest on top, most likely faded by the sun. His short hair was a drastic comparison to his fellow warriors who all sported long, braided hair. His face was very pleasant: defined cheekbones with a strong jawline. His shoulders were broad, his mid-section lean and long. His legs looked like armor-wrapped logs, and his complexion was darker than she remembered. ’Maybe he’d been at sea?’

As thoughts bombarded her, Skye’s father’s voice broke the chaos; "Prince Tidas?! How.. What? Where were; why did we receive a royal message stating yer demise?!"

Skye’s father’s demeanor shifted drastically from anger, to shock, to joy. This was the man he’d originally planned on his daughter marrying, now back from the dead. He smiled at the thought of gaining all that he assumed was out of his reach. The Crown Prince had been married off years ago, and his children were not old enough to contract to Skye. The second oldest prince was a political marriage to a neighboring kingdom. A king in his own right now, and out of Lucas’ reach. But now Tidas was back, and so was his ’Original Plan’.

Lord Moonstone approved of the boy, even as a child. Smart, articulate, and he had the king’s wit and common sense. His bravery and strength had already been proven. The only thing that was missing was experience, and maybe some weight. For the lad could’ve been mistaken for a twig.

Now stood a man; one Lord Moonstone could give Skye to without worry. Which cleared his conscience slightly, now comparing his daughter’s other option that stood in front of him. Jacob’s business reputation aside; rumors had come to his ears of the young man’s ’preferences’ when it came to his way with women. Although he had not heard of anything truly terrible, Lucas did not like it. If he had known before the contract was signed, he would’ve tried to find an alternative to gain his means..

Lord Moonstone did not like the Fowlers in general. The father was beyond greedy, and generally spineless. He made a small fortune being a very good yes man: making deals with less than reputable men. Then when his son took over their merchant guild three years ago, he expanded their tradings to the three neighboring kingdoms. There were no laws restricting it, but most didn’t do business with the Sync Kingdom; out of respect for the King of Alcon.

The prince was back now, and That contract and plan took precedence over the other one with the Fowlers. Not even they would argue against the king’s wishes. Lord Moonstone’s smile reached his eyes with his joy and relief as he stared at the young man, awaiting his reply.

"That, my lord, is a rather long story to be told. And not all of it is for the ears of fair lasses, such as your sweet daughter," Tidas turned his head to stare at Jacob before he finished, "My bride to be."

Jacob looked very much like Skye’s father first did. His complexion was bright red with his anger. His white-blonde hair only made it look worse. He shifted to the side to face Skye’s father, who was still smiling like a fool. Realizing his folly, he nodded and began to attempt to make amends.

"Jacob, me apologies to you and yer father. This is the king’s youngest son. He was originally supposed to marry Skye, but we’d received word that he’d died in battle two years past. That is also why my daughter is eighteen and still unmarried.. They had been promised to each other very young. Ima sorry lad, but if Prince Tidas is here to collect Skye, Ima in no position to deny him. He’s contracted to her, and her to him. The King himself put forth and signed it," Lord Lucus explained.

"And what of the contract ye hold with me and mine?! He was certified dead by the kingdom! I’ve waited over a year for me bride! Tis Our wedding day! Do you know how many proposals I have turned down?! I’ve already accepted yer bride price, and shall not return it!" Jacob screamed, cutting at Lord Moonstone.

"You may keep the bride price as reprimand, with not a fuss from me. Tis a small price compared to what I could lose, should I offend the king. Only a fool would risk His ire. And you’d be a damned fool to go against yer own King! ...Let us discuss this in me quarters. I will give ye all the details, and then maybe the prince can explain how he bested the reaper. Everyone! Enjoy the feast on me! We have much to discuss, as Ima sure ye have much to gossip about. Peggy! Take Skye to change from her dress!" Lord Lucus ordered, his irritation apparent.

As Skye turned and took a few steps to leave, Jacob darted around Tidas and grabbed her by the arm. She tried to pull away, but that only made Jacob squeeze harder. The look in his eyes scared her; as if he blamed her for what had transpired. Suddenly, anger surged within her. ’As if any of this was me doing?!’

Fear and confusion left her face to be replaced by fiery indignation. She grabbed his wrist; digging her nails into his flesh. A sharp bark escaped his mouth as Skye twisted it until he’d released her. He raised his arm as if to strike her, but Skye stood her ground. Instead, the action had caused his arm to be grabbed with force.

"I believe that is MY fiancée you just laid a hand on, sir.. Do so much as Move in her direction again, and you will do so with one less arm attached," Tidas spoke in a cold, even tone; his left hand resting on the hilt of his sword while his right hand bruised the bastard’s arm.

Jacob’s face contorted with unchecked rage. At that moment; he yanked his arm away, and immediately put his right hand on his hilt. Before Jacob could do more, he was surrounded by the prince’s men. All with their swords pointing at his neck. Shock and terror traversed his face before a piercing scream broke the tension.

It was one of the servants that had bragged to Skye about Jacob’s bedding of her. Apparently the scene had been too much for her, and she’d fainted. Skye fought the urge to roll her eyes, as it was considered unladylike. But the woman was known to be over dramatic.

The soldiers looked to their prince for whatever order he felt like giving. They were His loyal men, and battle tested. He had saved their lives more times than most of them could count. Not even the king had higher say to them than their prince. Seeing the sign to lower their weapons, the guards did so. But still kept them unsheathed and at the ready.

Tidas took an imposing step towards his target, standing only inches from him. He wasn’t much taller than Jacob, but seemingly towered over him as the prince said, "If I Ever see you touch Skye again, I’ll gladly kill you myself."




 

CadmarLegend

@Agentt found a key in the skeletons.
Joined
Jan 3, 2021
Messages
1,957
Points
153
Hello! This is my first time publishing, and I’m quite nervous about it. Other authors suggested posting a few of my chapters here for honest feedback. Any opinions are appreciated(so long as they’re respectful). Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy the first two chapters of my story😊
The rest(so far), can be found on the Webnovel App/site if you like it😁


CHAPTER 1: First Wedding Day

"WHERE IS SKYE?!"

’Am I hearing things? Or did someone just call me name?’

The sun shined brightly as it streamed through the windows, bouncing off of the almost-white marble floors of the castle. It stung the eyes of the young woman who was hastily being escorted down the great hall, towards the banquet room.

Skye had walked down this hall her entire life, but never had the floors ever seemed so blinding. It was an odd detail to focus on, but focus was hard to come by that day. She had sworn she’d heard someone calling out her name.. Her mind had a haze about it. The bride was tired, but her nerves kept her from falling to the exhaustion.

"SKYE!"

Horses nickered loudly outside, drawing the lass from her thoughts. She could hear men yelling as she walked, and swore she’d heard her name called again. Anyone present in Moonstone Castle should’ve been in the banquet hall; aside from the guards. Focusing on the ruckus instead of her feet, the bride nearly fell. Righting herself; Skye chided her own idiocy.

"Are ye alright? Why did ye trip?" the old servant escorting her asked with concern in her tone.

"I could’ve sworn I heard-ah, nevermind. Ima sure ’tis nothing," the lass focused on her walking, convinced her servant must not have heard the ruckus.

’The bride needs to walk down the aisle, not trip down it,’ she thought to herself.

The morning was cool, but the sun was quickly warming the day as the noon hour struck. She couldn’t eat much that morning, now her stomach was twisting in knots. It was her wedding, but she could find no happiness in the thought. For Skye believed that little happiness could be found in what came after.

The life of a normal girl is what awaited Skye Moonstone. She would marry the man her father has chosen, eat, then depart for her new home. It was nothing like the life she’d originally planned, but that life had died years ago, with him...

’I will bare Jacob’s children, and live a simple and quiet life.. I will do what father has ordered me to, since he wouldn’t listen.. I suppose that is what is expected of me as a woman, and I have no other choice in the matter,’ the bride thought bleakly.

"Lady Skye, we must hurry! Yer father will be furious if yer late to yer own weddin!" her servant nearly shrieked as she huffed with the pace.

"Do not worry yer self so, Peggy. We’ll be fine! Father knows that Ima never on time. That’s why he told me noon when the ceremony isn’t til half past that," the bride replied as she kept to Peggy’s slower pace.

Skye’s servant had been by her side for as long as the lass could remember. Peggy was closer to her than her own mother had been. Skye’s parents were more concerned with their wealthy lifestyle and maintaining it, than her. Money and position had always been what was most important to them. It was also the motive behind who they had chosen as her future husband, or so the lass suspected.
Skye had no bond with him, and barely knew him. The little she did know made her doubt her freedoms would be kept. As she stepped closer to the their destination, the bride’s mind began to wonder.

’What will me days be like now? At least here, I could ride me horse how I like.. Or cook in the kitchens whenever I felt bored, or found me self disinterested in me studies. Would Jacob even allow such things? Tis not common for a woman of status to cook, and he seems like the type who cares far too much about what others think.. ’

Skye’s thoughts became more erratic as her panic built from her unanswered questions..

’So few women are educated like me self.. Will there even be anyone there I can talk with, aside from Peggy? Will he still let me continue me studies, or will he forbid me? And what will he say when he sees me riding astride instead of sidesaddle like a ’respectable lady’? Fat chance he lets me keep Thoth; that beast of a horse will probably scare him.’

In a flash, they’d made it close to the doors of the banquet room. Skye hesitated when she saw the guards. Her life was about to become very different, but very boring. Especially if her future husband was like most men. ’Jacob is nothing like Him...’

A spark of anger began to build her ire. No matter who her husband would be, Skye would be herself. No one was going to take her freedom; even if she had to run to the Highlands to get away. She grew up believing she’d be able to make her own choices, and Skye refused to change on the fact; even if the groom was not her choice.

’I will Not turn into one of those submissive and docile housewives that has no say or will in her own life! I’ll die before that!’ Skye thought to herself, stoking her ire further.

As courage found her again, Skye walked up to the doors. Peggy gave her bairn’s hand a gentle squeeze, accompanied by a toothy smile. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes as she nodded at the lass she’d seen as her own child all these years. The young woman smiled back at her; with all the warmth she’d held in her heart for the old woman. Then; Peggy left her lady’s side to go and take her place amongst the other household servants. As well as let them know that the bride had arrived. Leaving her to face her fate alone.

The ruckus from outside seemed to have died down, making Skye curious at to what it was even about to begin with. She’d sworn she’d heard her name called, but hadn’t recognized the voice completely. It had definitely been a man’s voice, and a strange feeling gripped her heart when she tried to think on whom it could belong to. Shaking her head slightly, the lass attempted to rid herself of the feeling bubbling up from her gut.

Clearing her head, Skye took one last deep breath as the violinists began to play. She smoothed a non-existent wrinkle from her dress, and nodded to the guards. They smiled politely, and opened the doors wide. So as not to obstruct the guests’ view of the bride as she entered.

Hair down and flowing to show her untouched state; Skye Moonstone was a sight to behold. The light rebounded off of her white, diamond-studded dress; causing some of the guests to turn away a moment. It was lined with silver and white gold along the trim and bust. Her father wanted to display both his daughter, and their status to her future husband and his family. Her red-gold curls bounced with every step she took. The closer she came, the clearer her future husband’s face became.

Skye had known Jacob for two years, but not once had he ever spoken at length with her. In fact, the only words she had ever heard from him were of how attractive she was to him. He made her feel uncomfortable, and her skin crawled to know that he would be the man with whom she would spend the rest of her life with. She knew there would never be love between them, and her heart ached slightly for it. But at least, eventually; she would have her own children to love.

’That will be enough for me, I think,’ Skye thought sadly.

As she reached the halfway point down the aisle, the features of her betrothed came into focus. He was only an inch or so shorter than her father, which was still much taller than her. He had very light, golden-blonde hair that was of medium length, braided and pulled back. His jawline was somewhat soft, and his eyes were a bright brown color. His shoulders and chest were wide, and very muscular. He had served in the king’s army as a wall man; running all manner of gear up and down the stairs. He was also trained in swordsmanship and grappling, from what her maids had told her.

Indeed, they knew quite a bit about Skye’s future husband. Including things only a woman could come to know about a man. One maid in particular had made it a point to describe him as ’vigorous’ and ’the best beddin she’d ever had’. It had both disgusted and irritated her to find out at first. Then again, that could also work in her favor. She did not see herself as one of those women who would seek out their husband’s affections. ’Better he find a mistress to occupy his time with.’

’But I will still have to lay with him... to bare his children,’ Skye shivered as the thought popped into her head, and her eyes met those of her betrothed.

Only once had Skye seen the look he gave her now. And even then, it made her stomach turn. Jacob was good looking enough, but his eyes held smoldering ice. He looked her up and down; like how a wolf eyed a doe before ripping into it’s flesh. A cold shiver ran up her spine again. Skye’s heart began to beat erratically in her chest, and her pace slowed significantly.

Suddenly, all she could think about was running.. Running to the stables, jumping on Thoth, and riding until the black beast could no longer. Not that it would really help. Her future family was currently the wealthiest in all of Alcon Kingdom; next to the royals. They would hire the best trackers money could buy, and hunt her down. She exhaled a shaky breath at the thought.

’Liar...’ the random thought popped into Skye’s head as she panicked inwardly.

The lords and ladies stood now, and her father was beginning to look impatient. Skye’s slow in pace had been obvious. Some of the guests were making comments about bridal nerves, but she didn’t care. The look in Jacob’s eyes had changed to icy hostility. He held out his hand with a huff, as if to try and quicken her pace. As she reached out to place her hand in his, the doors to the room flew open. Five men clad in armor with the king’s insignia upon their chest plates marched through the doors, and down the aisle.

The man who led them made eye contact with Skye as he passed. His eyes were a vivid green, and familiar to her. It was gone the moment it had registered, but Skye could’ve sworn she’d seen a smirk..

’Was it even there? Why is my heart pounding? Could he have been the one callin’ out for me before?’ Skye thought as she gladly put her hand down to her side, and took a half step back; allowing the men to pass.

The green-eyed knight now stood between them, with his broad back to Skye. She didn’t even need to look at her father to know he was furious. This was supposed to be his perfect show of wealth and power: now interrupted. A vein on his neck bulged, and his face turned as red as his hair was in his youth. Taking two long strides, he closed the distance between him and the man; standing only two feet or so apart. He stood next to Skye’s betrothed, who was clearly seething with rage at the interruption as well.

"What the bloody Hell is going on?! Who are you? What right do ye have to interfere with me Daughter’s marriage?!" the Lord practically roared.

"Good to see you too, Lucas. It has been some time, but I never knew Lord Moonstone to one to break a contract," the man replied with an obvious smirk.

"Contract? What contract?! Who the devil are ye, boy?!" the lord yelled out of consternation.

"I am Tidas MacArthur, son of King Magnus MacArthur, Third Royal Prince of Alcon. And I have come to collect my bride!"

Chapter 2: My Betrothed

Gasps, murmuring, and overall shock from the guests erupted in the banquet room. Lord Moonstone stood frozen, recognizing the young man as soon as the name left his lips(as did Skye). The shock was expected, for the prince supposedly died two years ago. At least that was what Skye was told: what her father was supposedly told by the royal messenger. She had been contracted to Tidas since the age of five. It’d been an indispensable deal to both parties at the time.

Until recently, Skye’s family had been the wealthiest family in Alcon. Lord Moonstone was well liked and very charismatic, making him popular amongst the nobility. Her mother was an heiress due to her previous marriage, as well as her own family’s wealth. Lucas had married Lidia Drummond without the consent of her grandfather, her only remaining relative at the time. He came around once he learned of Lucas’ heroism, and of his raised station due to it.

The lord’s youth was spent mainly in service to the king. He had been on guard duty when the king’s younger brother attempted to take the throne by means of murder. Skye’s father was injured; taking a stab to the shoulder. However, he’d saved the king’s life in the process. Earning himself a massive raise in status.

After a few times socializing, Lucas had King Magnus’ favor and friendship. They often played strategy games together whenever he found himself in the Royal Palace. Even if he was meant to be on duty at times. After Lucas had finished his service, their friendship not only remained intact, but grew.

Along with a reward for saving him, King Magnus also proposed a royal match. Lucas Moonstone was strong, smart, and had married into great wealth. He was the type of man the king didn’t want venturing too far. All he had to do was marry one of his children off, and the familial bond would guarantee financial backing and loyalty to His crown. For while he did see Lucas Moonstone as a dear friend, the man was also a cunning businessman; first and foremost. Nobility status was one of the few things he could not achieve using just his shear will. Considering it was a royal contract, Skye’s father had jumped at the opportunity.

The prestige and security that came with being connected to the royal family was worth killing for, to him. For many reasons; some even King Magnus was not fully aware of. For Lucas saw the weight of the burdens his friend already carried. And had no wish to add to them. He needed only to raise his daughter to be good and chaise, and his family would be secure.

Lucas had glanced at his daughter who now stared with raised eyebrows at the prince. He wondered what she thought for a moment, but dismissed it. Regardless of how she felt on the matter, he would do whatever would keep her safest. No matter how it hurt Skye; she would live.

Head spinning with all that had happened within a few minutes, Skye strained to listen. She had a hundred questions running through her mind. ’Why did the palace assume he was dead? Where had he been these past few years? Why did he look almost nothin’ like the snot-nosed, scrawny little lad who used to tease me? Told me that me hair was a sign of bein’ a demon spawn?’

As she stared at his broad backside, Skye couldn’t help but take measure of him.

Tidas’ hair had been almost black as a boy. Now it had a soft, dark brown tone to it. It was lightest on top, most likely faded by the sun. His short hair was a drastic comparison to his fellow warriors who all sported long, braided hair. His face was very pleasant: defined cheekbones with a strong jawline. His shoulders were broad, his mid-section lean and long. His legs looked like armor-wrapped logs, and his complexion was darker than she remembered. ’Maybe he’d been at sea?’

As thoughts bombarded her, Skye’s father’s voice broke the chaos; "Prince Tidas?! How.. What? Where were; why did we receive a royal message stating yer demise?!"

Skye’s father’s demeanor shifted drastically from anger, to shock, to joy. This was the man he’d originally planned on his daughter marrying, now back from the dead. He smiled at the thought of gaining all that he assumed was out of his reach. The Crown Prince had been married off years ago, and his children were not old enough to contract to Skye. The second oldest prince was a political marriage to a neighboring kingdom. A king in his own right now, and out of Lucas’ reach. But now Tidas was back, and so was his ’Original Plan’.

Lord Moonstone approved of the boy, even as a child. Smart, articulate, and he had the king’s wit and common sense. His bravery and strength had already been proven. The only thing that was missing was experience, and maybe some weight. For the lad could’ve been mistaken for a twig.

Now stood a man; one Lord Moonstone could give Skye to without worry. Which cleared his conscience slightly, now comparing his daughter’s other option that stood in front of him. Jacob’s business reputation aside; rumors had come to his ears of the young man’s ’preferences’ when it came to his way with women. Although he had not heard of anything truly terrible, Lucas did not like it. If he had known before the contract was signed, he would’ve tried to find an alternative to gain his means..

Lord Moonstone did not like the Fowlers in general. The father was beyond greedy, and generally spineless. He made a small fortune being a very good yes man: making deals with less than reputable men. Then when his son took over their merchant guild three years ago, he expanded their tradings to the three neighboring kingdoms. There were no laws restricting it, but most didn’t do business with the Sync Kingdom; out of respect for the King of Alcon.

The prince was back now, and That contract and plan took precedence over the other one with the Fowlers. Not even they would argue against the king’s wishes. Lord Moonstone’s smile reached his eyes with his joy and relief as he stared at the young man, awaiting his reply.

"That, my lord, is a rather long story to be told. And not all of it is for the ears of fair lasses, such as your sweet daughter," Tidas turned his head to stare at Jacob before he finished, "My bride to be."

Jacob looked very much like Skye’s father first did. His complexion was bright red with his anger. His white-blonde hair only made it look worse. He shifted to the side to face Skye’s father, who was still smiling like a fool. Realizing his folly, he nodded and began to attempt to make amends.

"Jacob, me apologies to you and yer father. This is the king’s youngest son. He was originally supposed to marry Skye, but we’d received word that he’d died in battle two years past. That is also why my daughter is eighteen and still unmarried.. They had been promised to each other very young. Ima sorry lad, but if Prince Tidas is here to collect Skye, Ima in no position to deny him. He’s contracted to her, and her to him. The King himself put forth and signed it," Lord Lucus explained.

"And what of the contract ye hold with me and mine?! He was certified dead by the kingdom! I’ve waited over a year for me bride! Tis Our wedding day! Do you know how many proposals I have turned down?! I’ve already accepted yer bride price, and shall not return it!" Jacob screamed, cutting at Lord Moonstone.

"You may keep the bride price as reprimand, with not a fuss from me. Tis a small price compared to what I could lose, should I offend the king. Only a fool would risk His ire. And you’d be a damned fool to go against yer own King! ...Let us discuss this in me quarters. I will give ye all the details, and then maybe the prince can explain how he bested the reaper. Everyone! Enjoy the feast on me! We have much to discuss, as Ima sure ye have much to gossip about. Peggy! Take Skye to change from her dress!" Lord Lucus ordered, his irritation apparent.

As Skye turned and took a few steps to leave, Jacob darted around Tidas and grabbed her by the arm. She tried to pull away, but that only made Jacob squeeze harder. The look in his eyes scared her; as if he blamed her for what had transpired. Suddenly, anger surged within her. ’As if any of this was me doing?!’

Fear and confusion left her face to be replaced by fiery indignation. She grabbed his wrist; digging her nails into his flesh. A sharp bark escaped his mouth as Skye twisted it until he’d released her. He raised his arm as if to strike her, but Skye stood her ground. Instead, the action had caused his arm to be grabbed with force.

"I believe that is MY fiancée you just laid a hand on, sir.. Do so much as Move in her direction again, and you will do so with one less arm attached," Tidas spoke in a cold, even tone; his left hand resting on the hilt of his sword while his right hand bruised the bastard’s arm.

Jacob’s face contorted with unchecked rage. At that moment; he yanked his arm away, and immediately put his right hand on his hilt. Before Jacob could do more, he was surrounded by the prince’s men. All with their swords pointing at his neck. Shock and terror traversed his face before a piercing scream broke the tension.

It was one of the servants that had bragged to Skye about Jacob’s bedding of her. Apparently the scene had been too much for her, and she’d fainted. Skye fought the urge to roll her eyes, as it was considered unladylike. But the woman was known to be over dramatic.

The soldiers looked to their prince for whatever order he felt like giving. They were His loyal men, and battle tested. He had saved their lives more times than most of them could count. Not even the king had higher say to them than their prince. Seeing the sign to lower their weapons, the guards did so. But still kept them unsheathed and at the ready.

Tidas took an imposing step towards his target, standing only inches from him. He wasn’t much taller than Jacob, but seemingly towered over him as the prince said, "If I Ever see you touch Skye again, I’ll gladly kill you myself."




It sounds interesting and unique. Apart from the tiny grammatical errors, it looks pretty good.
 

Triskele_Lynx

Active member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
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Well, having read 70 chapters, I have two recommendations:

° It's starting to sound like Skye will be way overpowered, and the villain hasn't been revealed yet. That will make writing a suspenseful showdown hard, since there has to be a realistic chance of defeat. Maybe I'm wrong, and you have a plan for this.

° Have someone proofread it. You have a tendency to use sentence fragments, and use words that are similar to the word you want, but with a different meaning. For example,

taunt [tônt] NOUN: a remark made in order to anger, wound, or provoke someone.

taut [tôt] ADJECTIVE: stretched or pulled tight; not slack.

If my wife's nipples were disparaging my manhood, it might be a turnoff!

(I say that in an affectionate way. I wouldn't have read 70 chapters if I didn't like it)

Anyway, keep up the good work!
 
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Sara_Wilcox

Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2021
Messages
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Well, having read 70 chapters, I have two recommendations:

° It's starting to sound like Skye will be way overpowered, and the villain hasn't been revealed yet. That will make writing a suspenseful showdown hard, since there has to be a realistic chance of defeat. Maybe I'm wrong, and you have a plan for this.

° Have someone proofread it. You have a tendency to use sentence fragments, and use words that are similar to the word you want, but with a different meaning. For example,

taunt [tônt] NOUN: a remark made in order to anger, wound, or provoke someone.

taut [tôt] ADJECTIVE: stretched or pulled tight; not slack.

If my wife's nipples were disparaging my manhood, it might be a turnoff!

(I say that in an affectionate way. I wouldn't have read 70 chapters if I didn't like it)

Anyway, keep up the good work!
Thank you very much for the reply, I truly appreciate it. And thank you for liking my story, it really means a lot to me. The sentence fragments are kind of a writing style choice, like the dialogue. I see my story like a movie in my head, and I try to write down as much as I can. I didn’t realize those words had been changed(like the taut to taunt😅). Thank you for pointing all that out in a non-jerk way❤️ I really appreciated that😁.
The main villain is revealed once they reach the capital, but those chapters won’t be posted on her due to my contract with Webnovel(it’ll go up to 79 on here/those are my free chapters).
Dawning Skye is the first of a four book series. I wanted the first one to be mostly about Skye and Tidas’ relationship build because of how pivotal their bond is throughout the books. The main bad guy goes to great lengths to hide his plot/motives. I’m currently on chapter 226 on Webnovel and project the first book to be 500+ chapters🥰. Skye does become extremely OP but the main bad guy has a way around it..🤐 I wish I could tell you, but I’d get in trouble😅 But your critiques really helped me❤️ Thank you again!
It sounds interesting and unique. Apart from the tiny grammatical errors, it looks pretty good.
Thank you so very much for the feedback❤️ The ones in the dialogue are intentional due to the characters having an accent(like when you see talkin’ instant of talking). The FL speaks with an English-Scottish accent, so I figured I’d write the dialogue like that to give more depth to my characters😅 I did notice a few unwanted errors outside the dialogue and inner thought parts, so thank you very much for your critiques🥰 And I hope my explanation of my writing style helped too❤️
 
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