Eye contact

[SternenklarenRitter]

Personally, accepting eye contact has always felt like an extremely intimate action that leaves me feeling exposed and vulnerable. Imagine if you were the only person who felt comfortable in clothes while the rest of the world were nudists. Such is the world I experience.

 

[gogo7966]

eyecontact is for losers

 

[Viator]

While eye contact is important, I have a lazy eye. If I look directly at someone, they are unsettled and don't know where to look. So I am screwed most times.

 

[KiraMinoru]

Eye contact is for the irresistible sexy wall behind the person.

 

[DarkeReises]

I try to make eye contact when I talk with someone, but my eyes wander a lot so they'll tend to just flick around and back to their eyes

 

[SailusGebel]

4.

 

[greyblob]

I try to make eye contact when I talk with someone, but my eyes wander a lot so they'll tend to just flick around and back to their eyes

that's normal. you need some room to breath and so do they.

 

[hauntedwritings]

Eye contact is indeed intimate. But it's also a necessary part of social interaction.

Expressions like "look me in the eye and say that again!" exist for a reason. Eye contact is a test of sorts, to measure what someone thinks of you.

Eye contact is a way of acknowledging the other party in a genuine way. Not meeting someone's eyes is an indirect way of saying 'this thing I'm looking at is more important than you or what you're saying'.

Of course, there's also such a thing as too much eye contact. If you never look away from the person in question, you'll come across as a creep.

A tip I was told in my teens (perhaps obvious to some, but I struggled a lot with keeping eye contact as well - partly because I didn't know how to look someone in the eyes comfortably in the first place), was to look at the bridge of the nose. Focusing on that puts the eyes just in the peripheral vision, and is much easier to stare at.

 

[DarkeReises]

Eye contact is indeed intimate. But it's also a necessary part of social interaction.

Expressions like "look me in the eye and say that again!" exist for a reason. Eye contact is a test of sorts, to measure what someone thinks of you.

Eye contact is a way of acknowledging the other party in a genuine way. Not meeting someone's eyes is an indirect way of saying 'this thing I'm looking at is more important than you or what you're saying'.

Of course, there's also such a thing as too much eye contact. If you never look away from the person in question, you'll come across as a creep.

A tip I was told in my teens (perhaps obvious to some, but I struggled a lot with keeping eye contact as well - partly because I didn't know how to look someone in the eyes comfortably in the first place), was to look at the bridge of the nose. Focusing on that puts the eyes just in the peripheral vision, and is much easier to stare at.

I find it weird to look someone in the eyes cause i can only focus on one, so bridge of the nose is the way to go

 

[Daitengu]

Yeah... I can't. I basically grew up in an environment where eye contact meant I was getting yelled at or lectured. I'm pretty hard wired to avoid it now.

 

[Redemit]

I was raised to always make eye contact with adults when introducing myself when I was a kid and maintaining eye contact is important with animals so its always been important to me at least but While I'd say maintaining eye contact is easy with people in the sense that it doesn't make me uncomfortable or anything my attention is often grabbed by other things and so my eyes do tend to wander to other things quite a lot so I'm always glancing around

 

[Marunikyu]

Not making eye contact is a sign of autism and weakness.
If you somehow want to hide your autism, just wear sunglasses all the time. People will know but you can still claim your eyes are photosensitive.

 

[Redemit]

I've got a question to add to the original?
Where are you from as in what culture and environment did you grow up in?

I'm American I grew up in a rural area in the southern part of the country with mountains and farms and taught to "look'em in the eye and give'em a firm handshake" when introducing myself anything less was considered either weak disrespectful or both

 

[DarkeReises]

Not making eye contact is a sign of autism and weakness.
If you somehow want to hide your autism, just wear sunglasses all the time. People will know but you can still claim your eyes are photosensitive.

Laughs in my eyes are photosensitive

 

[ConansWitchBaby]

I never understood the "look em in the eyes" thing. I mean usually people have 2 eyes and I can only focus on one. And after no one explaining it to me I got frustrated and started to not care. It is still essential and don't mind if other people look away while I talk to them. I do the same whenever I get asked something that I need to think about and/or form a complicated thought. After all, if I'm just staring at a face I can't really focus on anything else but faces, makeup, etc. I need to joggle my memory with a different train of thought.

 

[LordJoyde]

Making eye contact while talking to the person or when they're talking to you is basic politeness and good manners.

Maintaining eye contact longer than absolutely required is fucking creepy.

 

[SternenklarenRitter]

@Redemit I grew up in a farmland type region near 40N 80W with numerous steep but small hills. Eye contact was 'said to be' important, but in practice was regarded as important only to old folks with bad hearing who needed to lip read, and overcompetitive type contact sports fans. As little as I make eye contact, nobody outside these sets has ever mentioned it to me either as child or adult. It isn't much a part of politeness here anymore; making firm eye contact tends to either say "I am a politician," or "compete with me in a friendly way". Occasional glances towards the other person's face are considered sufficient for most contexts. A set of hand gestures and postures that indicate submission, acquiescence, or steadiness are viable alternatives to returning eye contact, for example scratching your ear or the back of your neck, looking above them at the sky/ceiling for a bit, or letting out a sigh or huff.

 

[Cipiteca396]

As a compulsive liar, one of the most valuable lessons I was ever taught was about eye contact.

I was getting lectured by some dumb adult about some childish thing I did, when they told me to look them in the eye. That it showed that I was being honest, and sincerely considering my actions.

As such, whenever I'm lying to someone, I make sure to maintain eye contact to the best of my ability. That way people either have to believe me or call my bluff.

 

[SternenklarenRitter]

Fun fact; eye contact is always considered a sign of intimidation in nearly every social animal, including gorillas, chimpanzees, and bonobos. There is little data of eye contact with marine mammals, while dogs sometimes interpret eye contact as either a request for affection or as a threat. Only humans have mostly positive responses to eye contact. Some species of primates (several monkeys in particular) for example will experience such extreme stress from sustained eye contact that staring at their eyes for several minutes can trigger a parasympathetic rebound and cause them to faint or even die. There's a reason flashy 'eye markings' on butterfly wings don't get them eaten. Never look an unfamiliar animal in the eyes. Even if it appears to calm them down, that would be 'cause they are paralyzed with fear. Most smaller animals will try to run away unless confined, while mid sized animals like wolves and wild boars (or the ever fearless badgers), will be increasingly likely respond to the perceived aggression in kind and attack you as their size and mass increases towards large critters like cows, seals, moose, and hippos.

 

[Deleted member 57675]

Eye contact is how my pet knows the moment they see me to start begging with puppy eyes or cause a commotion to get what they want and eventually they succeed.