Fairy Review

[Rookieqw]

Thank you for your kind offer. Here is my story:

https://www.scribblehub.com/read/1042505-hordedoom/chapter/1050298/

 

[shadowniy]

i wont say no to more feed back

https://www.scribblehub.com/read/11...erse-a-gods-tale--side-story/chapter/1113457/ first chapter
https://www.scribblehub.com/read/11...erse-a-gods-tale--side-story/chapter/1117633/ second chapter

 

[Rhaps]

Thank you for your kind offer. Here is my story:

https://www.scribblehub.com/read/1042505-hordedoom/chapter/1050298/

Cover&Title: the cover is good, showing that it is about werewolves or wolf people. The title coveys that this is a war story. Together they say what your story is about which is a good introduction. (4/4)

Synopsis: a brief worldbuilding that explains the current situation and introducing the MC. It is good hook for a story that jumps right into the middle of a conflict. (4/4)

Chapter: against your wishes, I decided to read the prologues (10 chapters in total). The pacing is amazing to say the least, and the emotions of the characters are pretty good and understanding. Shining light on the worldbuilding while keeping the pace at the same time is something you succeeded. Though I must point out, with the prologue and the main story, there is a disconnection between the two enough though they are related, like there are two separate novels in this one story. (4/4)

Conclusion: you can cook but try to separate your meals.

 

[Rhaps]

i wont say no to more feed back

https://www.scribblehub.com/read/11...erse-a-gods-tale--side-story/chapter/1113457/ first chapter
https://www.scribblehub.com/read/11...erse-a-gods-tale--side-story/chapter/1117633/ second chapter

Title: the title itself tells the context of the premise, which is informative and great. But for the Side Story part, I think you should remove it as I think this could stand as its own novel (4/4)

Synopsis: it conveys the plot of the story pretty well, saying that something fishy is going on. It is a good hook that does well (4/4)

Chapter: the reason why I chose to read 5 chapters is because I believe that's enough for a story to fully kick off so I won't be giving you a score. From the two chapters, the pacing and drama is pretty good, though I suggest more space breaks to make the conversation easier to read. And remember to proofread.

Conclusion: you can cook and keep on improving

Ooh!! Thanks for the kind review.
Edit: As for the paragraphs, someone told me that it’s not a book. So, I shouldn’t break the paragraph often. Now, I'm confused.

Sorry for the late reply, what I meant was to break your wall of texts into digestable bites. It easier to read that way. But don't break when you feel like its unneeded.

As long as the flow of the story is consistent, it is good.

 

[AdOtherwise]

I am drunk right now and probably regret this decision when I wake up.

I'm here to give my review based on three simple criterias with the score of 1-4 because my standards are low:
Cover&Title: how informative it is.
Synopsis: how much information it gives out.
Chapter: I'll read the first five chapters or however many you cook for the first meal.

I'm crashing the bed now.

Hopping on the train

Lowly Ascent

Within a desolate realm, where discarded worlds were stitched together, a rupture tore open, releasing a small child into this fragmented expanse. Above him, the sky revealed three eerie moons, while an ominous black mass loomed ominously in their wake. Disoriented and engulfed by a putrid...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[shadowniy]

though I suggest more space breaks to make the conversation easier to read.

is that just more space between conversations?

sorry for the newbie question this is my first written story

 

[ATTICLover]

I am drunk right now and probably regret this decision when I wake up.

I'm here to give my review based on three simple criterias with the score of 1-4 because my standards are low:
Cover&Title: how informative it is.
Synopsis: how much information it gives out.
Chapter: I'll read the first five chapters or however many you cook for the first meal.

I'm crashing the bed now.

Symphonia: The World of Machines and the Sleepless Cities of Rhythms | Royal Road

"The night city is always glimmering with life isn't it? Millions of lights, all of them feels alive at night and they pulse their heart for one reason. It's Music!" -Martin Forth, The Soundtrack of Defiance (3rd Live Concert ver.) The Musical Revolution had began after the rumor of an ancient...

www.royalroad.com

Well, this is about a world where music becomes so revolutionary against the corpos and this fantastic artifact myth called "Starlium Gear"

Which then later spawn those cold killer musical robots containing Source Code that allows people to literally fight like its a rhythm game mixed with rpg.

What I have written so far is just the prologue so the other half of the synopsis isn't present yet. I'm building it up.

 

[Rhaps]

is that just more space between conversations?

sorry for the newbie question this is my first written story

Yeah, its to avoid being confused of who is speaking

 

[Rhaps]

Hopping on the train

Lowly Ascent

Within a desolate realm, where discarded worlds were stitched together, a rupture tore open, releasing a small child into this fragmented expanse. Above him, the sky revealed three eerie moons, while an ominous black mass loomed ominously in their wake. Disoriented and engulfed by a putrid...

www.scribblehub.com

Cover&Title: from the cover it reminds me of a sci-fi space adventure series, which is somewhat true with a patchwork planet. And the title conveys that this is a story about someone climbing from the bottom up. (4/4)

Synopsis: starting with the world building is a good hook, and the idea of a world made of different worlds is amazing and rare to see. While the second part is the plotline, the way you tell it is smooth and it has a great hook with the last line, making readers curious about the MC's journey (4/4)

Chapter: the pacing while a bit fast is easy to follow. So far, I see no mistake worthy of pointing out. The way you show how cruel this world is probably the highlight of your story. (4/4)

Conclusion: you can cook and keep on cooking!

 

[AdOtherwise]

Cover&Title: from the cover it reminds me of a sci-fi space adventure series, which is somewhat true with a patchwork planet. And the title conveys that this is a story about someone climbing from the bottom up. (4/4)

Synopsis: starting with the world building is a good hook, and the idea of a world made of different worlds is amazing and rare to see. While the second part is the plotline, the way you tell it is smooth and it has a great hook with the last line, making readers curious about the MC's journey (4/4)

Chapter: the pacing while a bit fast is easy to follow. So far, I see no mistake worthy of pointing out. The way you show how cruel this world is probably the highlight of your story. (4/4)

Conclusion: you can cook and keep on cooking!

Thank you for the review, I appreciate it!

 

[Rhaps]

Symphonia: The World of Machines and the Sleepless Cities of Rhythms | Royal Road

"The night city is always glimmering with life isn't it? Millions of lights, all of them feels alive at night and they pulse their heart for one reason. It's Music!" -Martin Forth, The Soundtrack of Defiance (3rd Live Concert ver.) The Musical Revolution had began after the rumor of an ancient...

www.royalroad.com

Well, this is about a world where music becomes so revolutionary against the corpos and this fantastic artifact myth called "Starlium Gear"

Which then later spawn those cold killer musical robots containing Source Code that allows people to literally fight like its a rhythm game mixed with rpg.

What I have written so far is just the prologue so the other half of the synopsis isn't present yet. I'm building it up.

Cover&Title: the cover is honestly beautiful, a cyberpunk vibe with vibrant color that draws readers in and tell where this story is taking place. The title is a bit too long for my liking, but it conveys the plotline even before getting into synopsis. I think you could shorten the title anf still convey the intention (4/4)

Synopsis: the worldbuilding alone is an interesting hook. Painting the themes of rebelling against the corporate overlords and fighting against machine into a coherent image. Though there isn't much about the plotline of the characters, I think this work well as I see it, this story isn't just about the MCs, its about the city - the city is the MC (4/4)

Chapter: the pacing is good, its the best I've ever seen. Jamming all of this worldbuilding yet able to get the story to go smooth, espcially the transition between the first and second chapter, from world to character. The story is very coherent despite bouncing around different formats, its honestly amazing. (4/4)

Conclusion: you can cook and keep the climax going from beginning to end!

 

[ATTICLover]

Cover&Title: the cover is honestly beautiful, a cyberpunk vibe with vibrant color that draws readers in and tell where this story is taking place. The title is a bit too long for my liking, but it conveys the plotline even before getting into synopsis. I think you could shorten the title anf still convey the intention (4/4)

Synopsis: the worldbuilding alone is an interesting hook. Painting the themes of rebelling against the corporate overlords and fighting against machine into a coherent image. Though there isn't much about the plotline of the characters, I think this work well as I see it, this story isn't just about the MCs, its about the city - the city is the MC (4/4)

Chapter: the pacing is good, its the best I've ever seen. Jamming all of this worldbuilding yet able to get the story to go smooth, espcially the transition between the first and second chapter, from world to character. The story is very coherent despite bouncing around different formats, its honestly amazing. (4/4)

Conclusion: you can cook and keep the climax going from beginning to end!

Thank you very much! To be honest, with how much word count varied on each of my chapter, how tedious to keep proofreading, editing it out repeatedly, and cooking up the major plot event for my true story to start, the one I stressed the most over is actually the title

Thank you for the review once again!

 

[Rhaps]

Thank you very much! To be honest, with how much word count varied on each of my chapter, how tedious to keep proofreading, editing it out repeatedly, and cooking up the major plot event for my true story to start, the one I stressed the most over is actually the title

Thank you for the review once again!

No problem. If you want to change titles I have some suggestions:
Symphonia: Melody of Rebellion
Symphonia: Encore of the Sleepless City
Symphonia: A Song against Machines and Tyrants

Take them with A grain of salt, as you are the author and you know your story best.