Hey! So I read the first chapter and the synopsis as well.
Regarding the synopsis I think it is alright, it makes one wonder what the hell is going on inside the story but I still feel like you could add a little bit more spice to it. I can't say what I would add since I only read one chapter but maybe this will allow your creativity to flow!
Now, into the chapter itself.
Personally, I don't like this type of monologue unless it is comedy-related. Think about it: if the MC is in extreme pain (head hurting, throat with blood, and so on) he wouldn't start by making jokes regarding his situation. It is highly likely that the first thing he thinks is something more in the lines of "What the fuck is going on?" or "Where the am I?" instead of just understanding he had "isekaied" straight away. Usually, when a character goes into a different world, there is a period of "adaptation" and I feel like you didn't portrait it at all.
It is almost like he already accepted it as if he already knew it was going to happen you know?
I have some critics regarding the system. So first, you mention all these events but you don't tell us his status and that is usually the first thing we know. When we create a character in a videogame we know their status first instead of his missions. It is something within these lines.
Secondly, the system is connected to the world itself but it provides too much information straight away, and certain information that shouldn't be able to (quote on the "Not Possible on This Planet") since it is connected to a world in a specific. Of course, I only read one chapter so if you tell me that the system is connected to a galaxy with several worlds then that would make perfect sense but then, in that case, the system would state what planet will allow this event (since you are creating a system that provides a lot of information).
These are just some things I personally don't like in stories because I feel they become harder to read. When a different character speaks you should leave a space between them, for eg, in this case, after "Continued" I would click enter so that the reader could understand it straight away instead of after (some people might get confused).
This part was also a bit confusing, I had to reread it a couple of times to understand what you meant. I think it would be easier if you had done something like this:
"They talked about 'it', referring to me as such"
It was alive.
It was healing. (and so on)
Also, how do you laugh in your mind? It just doesn't make sense to me.
Last but not least, just like the comment above mine said, I feel that there is a little bit of confusion within the MC, making it hard to understand his personality. I can't understand if he is a funny guy if he is a serious guy, introvert, extrovert... because it is all over the place. One moment he is being cold and suspicious and the other he is making jokes in his head? It doesn't add up.
This is what I thought of the chapter. I do not intent to demoralize you whatsoever, I think the concept is really good but there are some things that, in my opinion, could be improved. Of course, keep in mind I only read the first chapter so it is highly likely that your writing style changed and don't have anything I said here but yeah, I just wanted to be of some help! Hope your story will be a success and good luck!
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