I was trying to be polite, but instead!?

[SternenklarenRitter]

I have been tasked for my sociolinguistics class to collect anecdotes about cultural misunderstandings and politeness. Does anyone have any stories to share? About sometime you were trying to be polite but instead were misunderstood? Please mention if you are okay with me quoting you for my assignment as well.

 

[LilRora]

It's not exactly about politeness, but a classmate of mine back in primary school dropped his pencil case during class, and a couple of things fell out of it. I reached out to help him and pulled it up, causing a pencil to slide out, and I froze for a moment, and he told me to fuck off.

Not sure what he thought, but I decided it wasn't worth it to argue and left it where it was.

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

I have been tasked for my sociolinguistics class to collect anecdotes about cultural misunderstandings and politeness. Does anyone have any stories to share? About sometime you were trying to be polite but instead were misunderstood? Please mention if you are okay with me quoting you for my assignment as well.

Sure!
I don't have terribly many when it comes to politeness, unless I want to try to dredge up memories of arguments with family. Everyone I have interacted with either knows that I am being earnest, or I clarify that I mean something genuinely right after I say something so they don't take it as sarcasm.
In terms of cultural misunderstandings... hmmm... really the biggest ones has come from trying to explain the concept of transgender individuals and the difference between bisexual, lesbian, and gay to one of my coworkers. I don't remember which one, or which country they were from, but hoooo boy!
That was awkward!
Thankfully, a couple other of my coworkers were there, and they were able to explain it in Spanish. It wasn't the main language that she spoke, but having it explained in two languages that she had a good grasp on cleared things up.

 

[RepresentingEnvy]

I was asked to critique a piece of writing. I gave honest critiques and pointed out places where I would write things differently. I don't think I was particularly harsh, but they didn't like that I had many things to critique and said I was nitpicky.

 

[TotallyHuman]

Not a cultura misunderstanding, just me not understanding others. A classmate bumped into me. "sorry" "Don't worry. It's of no importance, just like your life is." "you mad?"

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

I was asked to critique a piece of writing. I gave honest critiques and pointed out places where I would write things differently. I don't think I was particularly harsh, but they didn't like that I had many things to critique and said I was nitpicky.

I never understoodd that.
Like, people say "yes please. I would love if you critiqued my writing," then you critique them and they are all like, "OMG!! I have a plan with this. This is all purposeful. Don't you understand?!"

 

[SailusGebel]

What enby said, but it happened at the very least thrice in my threads. You can search for them if you need it. Admittedly, at times I were rude, but the last couple of times it happened was on them.

 

[RepresentingEnvy]

I never understoodd that.
Like, people say "yes please. I would love if you critiqued my writing," then you critique them and they are all like, "OMG!! I have a plan with this. This is all purposeful. Don't you understand?!"

There are definitely two sides, so I try to be as lenient with the plot as possible. I usually critique the writing itself, but I do get into the plot a bit, and I am not even very picky in my own opinion.

 

[SailusGebel]

Oh, right! There was another thing that happened recently on SH forums with me. Although I wasn't super serious, and was half-joking, I was not rude, and genuinely wanted to help. But the person decided to put words into my mouth and acted like an asshole.

I don't want to start the drama, so if you need it, I can PM it to you.

 

[TotallyHuman]

OMG!! I have a plan with this. This is all purposeful. Don't you understand?!

God be like when I question that mf about cancer, children being born disabled and the existence of Twitter

Oh, right! There was another thing that happened recently on SH forums with me. Although I wasn't super serious, and was half-joking, I was not rude, and genuinely wanted to help. But the person decided to put words into my mouth and acted like an asshole.

I don't want to start the drama, so if you need it, I can PM it to you.

well sorry, Princess

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

God be like when I question that mf about cancer, children being born disabled and the existence of Twitter

well sorry, Princess

Man, the dude talks about himself in the third person? For shame!

 

[ElijahRyne]

I have been tasked for my sociolinguistics class to collect anecdotes about cultural misunderstandings and politeness. Does anyone have any stories to share? About sometime you were trying to be polite but instead were misunderstood? Please mention if you are okay with me quoting you for my assignment as well.

I was going to write something but it felt more like me patting myself on the back instead of finding times of being misunderstood. Long story short, I feel compelled to hold doors open even if it takes 30+ minutes for a building/room to empty and have been told off for it very rarely, but at least twice.

 

[John_Owl]

I have been tasked for my sociolinguistics class to collect anecdotes about cultural misunderstandings and politeness. Does anyone have any stories to share? About sometime you were trying to be polite but instead were misunderstood? Please mention if you are okay with me quoting you for my assignment as well.

I worked with J1s in america, so I've got a lot in regards to cultural differences. likely the biggest would be the japanese. we were making small talk and I said "sweet". Which they took to mean sweet, the flavor profile. assuming I meant eat them. but obviously I'm not a cannibal so I had to mean "eat" them (smut meaning).

like, I was meaning to be polite and show an interest in what they were saying, and they assumed that my terminology was an indirect request for oral. took me an extra five minutes to explain that "sweet" in english can also mean the same as "cool" or "awesome".

Though I suppose this would be less cultural difference and more that they weren't native english speakers, but still.

I can't imagine this would be appropriate for an assignment, but if you'd like to reword it, you're welcome to.

 

[Vnator]

It's not exactly about politeness, but a classmate of mine back in primary school dropped his pencil case during class, and a couple of things fell out of it. I reached out to help him and pulled it up, causing a pencil to slide out, and I froze for a moment, and he told me to fuck off.

Not sure what he thought, but I decided it wasn't worth it to argue and left it where it was.

Throwing F bombs in elementary school? Damn, that's a way to end up in the principal's office

 

[GoodPerson]

I have been tasked for my sociolinguistics class to collect anecdotes about cultural misunderstandings and politeness. Does anyone have any stories to share? About sometime you were trying to be polite but instead were misunderstood? Please mention if you are okay with me quoting you for my assignment as well.

Here's a nice example from my country's history class.


There once was a story about a VOC commander visiting the island of Madura. He went to the king's castle and the king greeted him nicely at first. There was also the empress sitting beside the king. So, to respect the king (based on the commander's dutch society's ways of respecting a king), he moved forward, touched the empress' right hand, and kissed it lightly.

Of course, you know what happened after that. King got mad, stabbed the commander, and boom, several years of war exploded.

The story hasn't been approved to be a real story, but it should provide you with an example.

Miscommunication is a serious problem. You should make your readers understand your point. Else, it might become a hot topic in the news.

 

[Voidiris]

I always honestly and properly criticized projects in school, it might not because out of politeness or care but I was still polite and my critic could actually help them improve, still I was dislike for it but that's basically true for most things I do.

 

[LilRora]

Throwing F bombs in elementary school? Damn, that's a way to end up in the principal's office

This wasn't exactly elementary school, we have 8 grades of something of a primary school, then we go to straight to the equivalent of american high school. That happened somewhere around the end, 7th or 8th grade, so we were ~13 years old then.

Not that I'm defending him, because I never really liked the guy.

 

[GoodPerson]

Oh, right! There was another thing that happened recently on SH forums with me. Although I wasn't super serious, and was half-joking, I was not rude, and genuinely wanted to help. But the person decided to put words into my mouth and acted like an asshole.

I don't want to start the drama, so if you need it, I can PM it to you.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

My experience is me trying to explain my take/opinion on things, like isekai, but this essay asshole lurking in this site decided I'm leading others to mistakes by stating my opinion.

My error was I tried to be polite and treat him as human. Big mistake. He thinks he's a level above everyone else, so I should've treated the fellow like garbage.

I don't know if it's a cultural matter, or just him being stupid. /s

 

[HungrySheep]

I was asked to critique a piece of writing. I gave honest critiques and pointed out places where I would write things differently. I don't think I was particularly harsh, but they didn't like that I had many things to critique and said I was nitpicky.

Same as this.