I'd like some deeper insight

[ZQSpark]

So, when I posted my story to both RRL and ScribbleHub, sometimes I'll get the full five-star ratings and sometimes I'll get absolutely blasted.

Obviously different people have different tastes but these poor ratings never come with an explanation. I'm the author. For the most part, I'm blind to the problems that I didn't already catch on the first or second edit.

I'd appreciate some insight if you go read Black Meridian. I don't care how much you read, just read until it's intolerable, boring, etc. Whatever causes you to stop, tell me what chapter and why. (Say "0-1 is a slog to read" or "By 1-4 I realized this wasn't my kind of story")

That really helps a lot more than a wordless rating. You can leave it in a review or on this thread. Thank you for your time.

 

[TLCsDestiny]

I know what u mean. I rarely get feedback for good or bad and don't know how I'm doing. I already know my grammer is bad but how was the plot, characters and the way it's written...I don't really know. I just keep going because I like to write and try to give others enjoyment...

 

[ZQSpark]

Yeah. You see, I'm going for a saga-sized story. I don't care if it doesn't blow up, but a story of that caliber is going to take a long time. I don't want the very fundamentals of that to be rotten if they need a rewrite

 

[HonestMistake]

Okay, I'm on chapter 10 right now and figured I'd give some feedback. So far, things like grammar, and writing style are good. The problem is the story. We are jumping into this tale completely blind, nothing about the world, the people, history, NOTHING. All we got are some context clues, but they aren't enough. I understand that you want to portray your MC as an airhead who didn't listen in class, but there are some common sense things that even he understands that we don't get. For instance, what is the worlds technological level? It seems medieval/cultivation, but then we got people with guns?? What about religion? There is mention of Divinity, but nothing on religion or God? It seems our MC has a working understanding of money, but we don't! We only know there are silver, and gold "Nibbles."

I understand what you are going for, but you at least need to include more background. Take a look at the novel "The Cursed Star" by FateDevilAce. Through conversations, characters inner voices, and flashbacks/memories, we are able to understand what's going on, who everyone is, and what the world is like without a big info dump chapter. As it is now, your novel is confusing to me. Consider adding in more information about the world so we know what's going on. From what I have seen so far, your story is shaping up well. If you fix this, I would give your story a 4.5/5.

 

[SenjiQ]

I also would love it if people who gave 1 star ratings would give a review. How am I supposed to know what you didn't like?

 

[tak]

As a reader, i don't usually give ratings (sorry) or comments (sorry again) . I only rate 5 stars because i only rate something that i really really like. If i dislike it, i don't rate, i just drop it. I only comment.. Irrelevant plot things, like cute / funny moments.

 

[lilyWhiteRose]

yep, I'm not someone who gives out ratings unless I really like it. i'm from the fanfic community and usually if someone doesn't like something they'll just click and exit out of it.... there's no rating system, just the prestige of being on the first page of results when sorted by most bookmarks. I do try to comment on everything i read though, fanfic or original, since everyone's starved for feedback.

 

[Scribbler]

My main issue with the first chapter is this part:
Hodge racked his brains. He still didn’t understand why Zeta cared. “Umm, seven, eight maybe. From what I’ve heard they’ve all been young girls in Greenwich.” Then he buried his head in his hands again. “Dammit! That means I should’ve seen this coming!"

The "that means" is the part that really kills it for me. It sounds too expositional and not at all like what someone fuming would say. It should be like "I should've seen this coming!" People that are angry are anything but articulate is what I mean.

And I also dislike your paragraph separation and some of your word choice, but that's not really an objectively bad thing and probably more so a statement on my tastes. Probably.

 

[S.D.Mills]

Join the Discord! \(^__^)/

Anyone can feedback upon request in the #workshop channel.

 

[Vanny]

Since we're giving feedback, let's talk about my stories next. Where are the comments?

 

[ZQSpark]

My main issue with the first chapter is this part:
Hodge racked his brains. He still didn’t understand why Zeta cared. “Umm, seven, eight maybe. From what I’ve heard they’ve all been young girls in Greenwich.” Then he buried his head in his hands again. “Dammit! That means I should’ve seen this coming!"

The "that means" is the part that really kills it for me. It sounds too expositional and not at all like what someone fuming would say. It should be like "I should've seen this coming!" People that are angry are anything but articulate is what I mean.

And I also dislike your paragraph separation and some of your word choice, but that's not really an objectively bad thing and probably more so a statement on my tastes. Probably.

Yeah, the paragraph separation is just a problem carried over when I copied my story from other sites. I'd go through and edit it, but it becomes tedious to do so for every chapter release. Thanks for giving it a try, though

 

[Scribbler]

Yeah, the paragraph separation is just a problem carried over when I copied my story from other sites. I'd go through and edit it, but it becomes tedious to do so for every chapter release. Thanks for giving it a try, though

Hey, it was pretty good. The fact that I could only find that one little thing to nibble about. I like that the main character's motivation is clearly conveyed and relatable and the world seemed to have an interesting magic system.

 

[ZQSpark]

Thank you for all the feedback. Those who posted in here or sent me PMs. Newcomers are still welcome to offer advice, but I have already made some motions to rewrite/enhance the chapters (the story is the same it will just be much more enriching).