I'm kinda running out of ideas for my story

[sweeteggroll]

Before you read my story, I have to say that I'm not a native English speaker, so my language isn't that good and my vocabulary is limited.

My story is about a relationship between a predator and a prey race. It is also a relationship between a slave and her mistress. The main pairing is Valentina, who is a Wolfkin(basically a wolf kemonomimi) and Doretta, who is a Mousekin(a mouse kemonomimi). Valentina keeps Doretta alive on the condition that she becomes her slave. They start out hating each other and slowly fall in love in each other in an abnormal way. One day after Valentina captured Doretta, Valentina confessed her love and got rejected by Teal, a guy who was also a Wolfkin. Valentina used Doretta to cope with loneliness after being rejected. She ended up kissing Doretta without her consent. Some days passed. After a couple of days of being tortured by Valentina, Doretta turned into a masochist. Valentina, who is a sadist, took advantage of Doretta's masochistic tendency.

That is the summary of how the story went so far. You can read the story here. There are 9 chapters and roughly 5,000 words so far.

The questions that I have are:

1. What is your opinion on the story? Is it worth it to continue or is it so bad that I should just stop writing it and start another story with different plot?
2. Does the story contains too much cliche? I ask this because some anime already done predator and prey relationships. Examples are Beastars, Arashi no Yoru Ni, and Omae Umasou da na.
3. If there is too much cliche, how do I fix it? Should I make the relationship even more toxic because it is a cliche to make them get along?
4. How should I continue the story? I have some ideas:
-Doretta making mistakes in purpose in order to get punished
-Valentina and Doretta gets into healthy BDSM relationship
-Valentina cheating on Doretta but force her to stay in the relationship
-Valentina's mother and Doretta's sister disliking Valentina and Doretta's relationship because it's not normal in the society for a predator and a prey to have a romantic relationship.
-War between carnivore predators and vegetarian predators(predators that respect the prey species)
Please help adding some ideas into the list.
5. Do you have some advice to make the story better or make the plot interesting?

All replies are really appreciated, thank you very much.

 

[AYM]

After reading the description, I can confirm this daoist is not within your target audience. Having gazed into the secrets of Heaven and Earth, I have deduced reading this scripture will induce qi deviation with 93% certainty.

 

[Kalliel]

I just read the first two chapters of your story, and I would like to offer a few opinions, if you don't mind.
Firstly, make the chapters longer. 500 words on average is too short.
Secondly, your writing lacks buildups. Things happened too abruptly.
Thirdly, the whole premise was that they'll live together, right? So the most important thing are the interactions between the characters. I don't think you did exactly good on that department.
The dialogue were a bit stiff and felt somewhat forced. And your writing distinctively lacks the characters' emotions as well. You are the narrator, try to tell the readers what is going on in their minds.

I won't comment on the ideas you stated there, so in conclusion, I think you should work on the character interactions more.

 

[sweeteggroll]

I just read the first two chapters of your story, and I would like to offer a few opinions, if you don't mind.
Firstly, make the chapters longer. 500 words on average is too short.
Secondly, your writing lacks buildups. Things happened too abruptly.
Thirdly, the whole premise was that they'll live together, right? So the most important thing are the interactions between the characters. I don't think you did exactly good on that department.
The dialogue were a bit stiff and felt somewhat forced. And your writing distinctively lacks the characters' emotions as well. You are the narrator, try to tell the readers what is going on in their minds.

I won't comment on the ideas you stated there, so in conclusion, I think you should work on the character interactions more.

Thank you very much for the comment

 

[MintiLime]

Ok, so, I haven’t read this. At all.

Buttttttt…. I feel like I can weigh in on the future ideas.

Do you want a happy ending? A tragedy?
Do you want your MCs to be end game? Have you read Chinese dogblood novels?

IF this were a tragic Chinese dog blood novel, I would see it play out like this:

1. The relationship appears to become healthier as the characters grow closer.

2. Wolf girls status is jeopardized by her closeness to a lower class member of society and is threatened by others.

3. To prove her innocence by showing the mouse means nothing to her, she cheats on her with a wolf of equal standing to her.

4. The wolves, being a strange and predatory society, make the mouse witness this scene through a hidden passage or peephole or something.

5. The mouse is broken hearted. The wolf is crushed and feels disgusted with herself, but must conceal it to maintain her place within society. She knows that only worse things will happen to mouse otherwise.

6. Worsening societal issues causes war to occur and mouse is approached by rebels and is offered the position of spy.

7. mouse agonizes over proposition while tensions rise and slaves are treated worse by the wolf clan as punishment.

8. Wolf girl is forced to choose between almost killing mouse in public display or choose to become rebel to save mouse.

Now, I don’t want to go any further because the following choices would truly decide the moral positioning of the characters.

I hope this sort of lineup helps a bit. Throwing a war in all at once would be a bit chaotic. There needs to be rising tensions, explanations of how society got there to begin with, and all of that stuff.

 

[sweeteggroll]

Ok, so, I haven’t read this. At all.

Buttttttt…. I feel like I can weigh in on the future ideas.

Do you want a happy ending? A tragedy?
Do you want your MCs to be end game? Have you read Chinese dogblood novels?

IF this were a tragic Chinese dog blood novel, I would see it play out like this:

1. The relationship appears to become healthier as the characters grow closer.

2. Wolf girls status is jeopardized by her closeness to a lower class member of society and is threatened by others.

3. To prove her innocence by showing the mouse means nothing to her, she cheats on her with a wolf of equal standing to her.

4. The wolves, being a strange and predatory society, make the mouse witness this scene through a hidden passage or peephole or something.

5. The mouse is broken hearted. The wolf is crushed and feels disgusted with herself, but must conceal it to maintain her place within society. She knows that only worse things will happen to mouse otherwise.

6. Worsening societal issues causes war to occur and mouse is approached by rebels and is offered the position of spy.

7. mouse agonizes over proposition while tensions rise and slaves are treated worse by the wolf clan as punishment.

8. Wolf girl is forced to choose between almost killing mouse in public display or choose to become rebel to save mouse.

Now, I don’t want to go any further because the following choices would truly decide the moral positioning of the characters.

I hope this sort of lineup helps a bit. Throwing a war in all at once would be a bit chaotic. There needs to be rising tensions, explanations of how society got there to begin with, and all of that stuff.

These are great. Thank you very much for the reply