Is there room for Urban (African) Fantasy?

[JemimahKwakuyi]

Fantasy stories based on legends and stories from Africa is super rare. Honestly, I never seen one before. So, depending on your stories contents and quality, you might strike gold or miss it completely. Also, I added the story to my reading list and will give you a basic feed back when I have time.

Yeah, i've noticed. I've been seeing some of these fantasy books but these are from traditional published authors, not self published like us.
I am actually aware of the risks and accept them. It was hella fun writing the novel and I guess that's what counts. Thanks so much for commenting and adding my story to your reading list!!

Probably because you got to learn all these new terms that mean the same thing but they are just a little different because of culture.
Why it's so hard for many Western audiences to read something wuxia or xia or something idk cultivation novels.
What is Africa considered btw Western or Eastern?

I suppose that makes sense, according to the terms in relation to culture. Oh Africa is just Africa lol

Neither. Africa is Africa.

Yhup

Welcome to Scribble Hub!
There are only a couple fantasy stories that I have found on African cultures and only one of them is actually online (which is crazy given the absolute insane diversity within Africa, but that's American audiences for you).

All That is Holy (An Apocalyptic Progression Fantasy Epic)

The Reign of Gods is ending. The world is dying, strangled by gray fog spreading like a cancer. Forsaken by the gods, Odessa is forced from her home into this dying world of death and despair. Desperate to rise above the affliction tainting her soul, Odessa will find that the...

www.scribblehub.com

And the Tristan Strong series, which you can find in libraries.
Your book sounds awesome!

OMg thanks so much! I'm gonna look into this. They sound awesome! Thank you.

Thanks a lot, it's my baby, hehehe.

 

[ACertainPassingUser]

Well, there's a room for that.

The thing is, you will need to explain lots of the african culture to the unfamiliar English international audiences, as well as minding the difference in some minor but obvious way of living, life outlook, principles, and moral values.

If there's some thing that may considered ugly or unacceptable in international view, then just avoid those topic. Just show the fun and interesting part after some good boring part.

You cannot rely on infodump. You have to explain them through the plot. It's like how MHA made the whole 200 chapter as world building before anything significant happened in the plot.

 

[JemimahKwakuyi]

We should start calling Africa side Southern its geographically correct I think.

Geographically, the equator rans through Africa as well as the Prime Meridian (UTC:00 without daylight savings, i never understood daylight savings). My country Ghana, is very close to the equator and the prime meridian passes right through us. But I suppose southern is in respect to something.
In Children of Blood and Bone, the more Africany tribes are referred to as the Southern Tribes, so i wholeheartedly agree!!

I'm all for it! I've been looking for/trying to make stories that use Indian mythology in them, so I understand the struggle and fully support you in your endeavors too. Though be careful when introducing new concepts western readers won't know, so they can easily digest it.

Your synopsis for example is very confusing to read, and could be fixed up to be easier to digest. The first sentence tries to hype up the culture, though that can be moved to the end. Second sentence is an absolute horror of a run-on that I completely lose track of right at the semicolon. Terms such as Vodun, Third Level, Anfas, are ones I don't know and there's not enough implied context in your synopsis to figure out what they are on first glance, and "performers" makes me think of acrobats or musicians rather than magic users. Then the sentence after that sounds like exposition, which would have been far more helpful with the previous sentence (but is still clunky).

How about this?
Twins Nikki and Mike worlds are turned upside down when Neil, Third Level Vodun, tries to kill Nikki for practicing magic in front of their ancestor(?). They've saved (by someone, add a name here) and sent to the magic school Wagadu to become Vodun performers themselves. But then worlds collide when they're chosen by various gods of the Godhead pantheon. The influence of the gods grants them more power than they can imagine but when confronted with consequences, they find themselves questioning everything they ever knew.

Yeah, I'll need to do more work to help it get more traction, but I'm willing to put in the effort!

Oh my dreaded synopsis. I had trouble with it lol. You edit is fantastic! I like it. However some terms were put in there for exposition on the events of the book. Most of the (frankly unfamiliar) words are African terms that will be explained as the book progresses. It may seem kind of confusing for western readers, but they are terms used in the book. If it turns people off then maybe the book is not for them I guess

Go for it.
I can't promise I'll read it, I barely have time to read my own work, but Africa needs some love. I've read about some of the cultures and folklore and it's a fascinating place.

This comment alone gives me so much joy, I know we're all busy and i completely understand! Thank you so so much and have a wonderful day.

This daoist would be interested in reading African fantasy.

Just don't use the word "fetish" ever. Or do but prepare for the comments.

I will take this into crazy important consideration. Thanks for the advise, this helps a lot

The Earth is round. Everywhere is Western and Eastern and Northern and Southern at the same time

yasss!! hehehehe i like this comment a lot lol

 

[APieceOfRock]

It's not round

my bad it's shaped like an Italian car. I'm a Fiat Earther

 

[JemimahKwakuyi]

Wrong buddy.
Check the chinese websites for webnovels. Beside the millions of raw chinese webnovels. You can find some that touch this cultures you mentioned.

Beside classic american 1900, you can get a dude being in french revolution, you get russians, etc
But first let me tell you about a few translated ones.

In NU, 10ish years ago, there was a QUITE POPULAR, KR novel about fantasy with NORTH mythology,

Valhalla Saga - Novel Updates

www.novelupdates.com

where the pro-gamer MC somehow had it's soul taken and sent to the "hall of heroes" with the "banquet of the gods". There is bunch of muscle vikings (new souls) around. Then sent to the battlefield of vallhala.
Things is, what can a scrawny pro gamer do ? Welp, in the infinite war, MC can grind-awaken powers from the particular ORIGINAL (not fanfic) heroes he played during his career.
One particular detail spoiler later on : MC was shown to be op, and gods thought that bring another soul of a "gamer" could replicate it. Didnt work well.

Back to raw novels (most chinese) : here i found back for you the greek series i saw once

希腊神话：我在奥林匹斯开宝箱全文阅读,希腊神话：我在奥林匹斯开宝箱免费阅读_作者太阳神乙_玄幻奇幻_破万卷小说

秦青打了个游戏，突然穿越到希腊神话世界，成了光明神阿波罗。 这时他发现游戏中的宝箱系统竟也跟着穿越过来。 看着地图板块上密密麻麻的光点位置，他不禁陷入沉思。 “额，雅典娜你不要误会

www.powanjuan.cc

Greek Mythology: I opened a treasure chest in Olympus (1-132)​

Author: Sun God B
Time: 2023-04-04
Qin Qing played a game and suddenly traveled to the world of Greek mythology and became Apollo, the god of light.
At this time, he discovered that the treasure box system in the game had also traveled over.
Looking at the densely packed light spots on the map plate, he couldn't help but fall into deep thought.
"Uh, Athena, don't get me wrong. I'm just here to get a treasure chest. I didn't mean to break into your boudoir." "
Zeus, please move your ass. My god-level treasure chest is under your throne." "
Here, the super god treasure chest Why in Tartarus..."
-------------

希腊神话：我在奥林匹斯开宝箱(1-132)​

作者：太阳神乙
时间：2023-04-04
秦青打了个游戏，突然穿越到希腊神话世界，成了光明神阿波罗。
这时他发现游戏中的宝箱系统竟也跟着穿越过来。
看着地图板块上密密麻麻的光点位置，他不禁陷入沉思。
“额，雅典娜你不要误会，我只是来拿个宝箱而已，不是故意闯你闺房的。”
“宙斯，麻烦挪挪屁股，我的神级宝箱在你王座底下。”
“这，超神宝箱怎么在塔耳塔洛斯……”

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You would say "why only chinese" ?
Welp dont worry, its because of too many human beings in their country and their culture where webnovel reading is mainstream unlike western where any teen would know about videogames but not know that you can read novels for free on internet in 2010.

Despite less, you can find some JP series with other cultures.
You got this current translated mangas :

Artiste
アルティスト

Rui 16-sei Ni Tensei Shite Shimatta Ore Wa France Kakumei O Zenryoku De Soshi Shite Antoinette To Suenagaku O Shiawase Ni Kurashitai.
Reincarnated as Louis XVI, I want to stop the French Revolution with all my might and live happily ever after with Antoinette
ルイ16世に転生してしまった俺はフランス革命を全力で阻止してアントワネットと末永くお幸せに暮らしたい
----------------
Lot of chinese webnovels too about being in Korea or Hollywood.

He got a point.

Even despite being a coomer, and being tired of zoomers that [tldr] when seeing big chunk of texts. Myself too become like that lately.
Anyway, big advice, see all the novels ? see all the old novels in the past, both written or internet ? (like harry potter and rings)
Well forget about them, because now its 2023, now most users are teens that want a quick shot of fun.
Go check raw websites like syosetu or qidian or faloo.
Don't you see some ressemblances ? They mostly write the whole plot in the title, summary. Chapters are short. No complication of lore.

Protagonist ? Simple names. Strength ? Often op. If grindy, able to grind in 3chaps a solution for current problem.

Now we arent longer in the era where people got the time of seeing Harry potter learn slowly magic.
What they want to see is a freaking onepunch-man, or something of equivalent fun to relieve boredom.

In simple terms.
Write as if the reader is a 5 years old.

The reader doesnt care if you want to promulgate a certain thing. In fact, like lot of chinese authors know, its easy to procc the "rebellious" part of human beings. What they want is to "have fun" end. They learned its far better to do a reverse strategy. Why force down the food when you can make people being attracted to it themselves ?
Its like the french person that put guards around potatoes that were resisted at the time, so farmers would steal them and promulgate them, hence solving the food problem of country.
Or like putting away food so the kid want to try it.
Also you see lot of webnovels being successful with "system that compensate if you lose" where the MCs keep try to lose but keep winning hence system not rewarding, even punishing.
Or you have lot of raw livestream series, with a title like "No i am not ------"
because just like irl people, people won't want to enter a livestreamer saying he is a fortune teller, thinking he is a scam. But if a doctor act like a fortune teller and keep denying he is one. People would think he is lying and he is truly one.

I don't have any hate nor descrimination.
I am someone with a talent to see things neutrally like a food judge. Even accepting or saying critics about my favorite things.
But sadly i inherited the harshness of one of my parent.

What is next is my mega brutal honest review to help (imagine me saying it like a army adjutant voice that train a new soldier) :

1) Old school summary, its very bad to write like that, in a narrator way
2) "West African Spirituality", too obvious shoveling in throat. You are like screaming "HEY ITS AFRICAN ! THIS SERIES IS ABOUT AFRICA !! WOOOHOO ! Look ! Africa ALSO GOT MAGIC !"

3) "We follow" again like i said, old school summary is now hasbeen. This overhead way of summary is like telling the reader "hey buddy, its a fucking fiction, a book, an inorganic piece of paper with words from the brain of another person"
Compared to writing : [Nikki : "Mike do you think we can one day succeed to get at the top ?" Mike : "Maybe" At that time, i didnt know Nikki would be attacked tomorrow and lost the peaceful life we had.] is a fake example of a "more attractive" summary nowadays.

From the famous youtuber asmongold and other youtubers (not exact words) : playing games is escapism itself, but so what? It is what a person crave when they launch them. To escape reality and relax. I don't want to be reminded every X time about reality because of Y. Just let me play the fucking game. I know its escapism but its gamers want.

Harry potter drank COCA COLA.
is not the same as Harry potter drank a gazeified drink from the vending machine. And far resonating without breaking immersion. Heck readers could even try to image "did he drink coca or fanta or something else?" and boosting the affinity for the series or protag.

4) "Third Level Vodun Neil", god its long and even hard to look at. Just say "leader" or whatever, no need. Also "vodun" word itself is non-mainstream which doesnt help. Say he is Level 3 or something or even 3rd realm. Not "Third LEVEL Vodun" its like saying "Quadruple Level Neilstrum Ludwig" for a german magician.

5) I just discovered this detail. Are you writting on phone ?
If yes or no, FOR GOD SAKE, stop spamming caps FOR SO MANY WORDS. Because As You Don't Know It Can Be Annoying To Read This Kind Of Text.

6) "Anfas; Dzidzor" the fuck?

7) "the twins' ancestor" OH. But still same question. WTF? No descrimination but does africans can have names like that? Its not african anymore but directly from a village of nowhere. And even modern africans would criticize you they arent a bunch of barbarian but people cities and electricity and no way they would use a surname DZIDZOR that annoying to pronunce OR read. Also wtf with the ";" ?

8) "who was abused as a child and was saved by a mysterious character who sends her to Wagadu" God, we JUST LEARNED THIS DUDE ancestor 0.1s ago AND ALREADY try to bury us in his background story ? Its worse than a manhua introducing a side character, it dying in the same chap in the arms of the protag, and trying to make readers resonate and be sad for his death. So, just delete this. Its TOO FAST.

9) "Their worlds collide as they are chosen by specific gods in a pantheon called the Godhead." ok now you are entering chuuni, wattpad quality of writing. You don't just pull out a "ALIEN INVASION" (analogy example) or other BIG BANG INFORMATION like that. [Nick was drinking coffee reading newspaper. BAM, the building was bombed. Then next the sun suddenly disappeared, and then god suddenly told all humans NICK IS THE CHOSEN ONE and teleport him to purgatory for testing.] was it fast for you ? Yes same thing.

10) "The influence of the gods grants them more power than they can imagine"
THIS, is a good writing.

11) "but when confronted with consequences, they find themselves questioning everything they ever knew."
but then 2nd part return to oldschool summary and a big turn off, as if you spectate from from god view at an ant or from another universe.

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I end with : Its likely you created this thread just to create popularity for your novel. Is it successful ? not sure, but you tried. But i hope you learned new things and,



like any author, should try to read LOT of novels before trying to write a novel. Its only by being a veteran reader that you can barely touch the threshold of a good author. Just like the fact lot of big AAA games are trash because the devs don't play their own games (or following orders of corporates that dont play games) and why most gamers prefer to pray on INDIES games for the future of games.

There's a lot of unpack here. First of all i'd like to thank you from taking the time to type this. Thanks for the advise and the criticism, I'll take all of them into consideration.....

1. I was talking of the fantasies on here, Scribble Hub, but thanks on the insight on all the diverse stories. I'll check out the English translated versions of these ones as I cannot speak any other language than English and my local language.
2. I understand that things are different now than they used to be, especially in the lack of complexity and lore and all the focus being on the fun aspect of things, but i'd rather stick with the boomers on this one. I like complex lore and storylines and world building and I'm sure others do too. If most of my peers do not like that because it's too complicated, then that's fine. but a lot more people like the complexity, so i'll stick to that
3. I know my synopsis needs work, I'll definitely get on working with that.
4. The main premise of this book *is* african spirituality, I'm sorry you feel that i'm shoving this down your throat but the fact that you're doing the same with Chinese Webnovels say a lot. The rest of the comments are things that can easily be figured out by reading about Africans and whatnot.
5.I created this thread to check out the marketplace. I know it's a very niche concept but I'm willing to take the chance
6. I have read a lot of novels, 'Old School novels' as you would put it so I guess it has influenced my writing style.

Once again thanks for your comment

For sure. There are literally infinite story ideas that can be had, and 90% of the fiction market are essentially a few people who did something new and then everyone else tries to copy/emulate their styles and stories. For instance, probably more than half of the stories on RoyalRoad are isekai or cultivation, but there are endless untapped genres and subgenres out there like the one you've mentioned. There shouldn't be any constraints on creative writing else that'd defeat the purpose, so I'd recommend giving it a shot if you're passionate about the idea.

Best of luck to you!

I will definitely continue being passionate about this. Thanks for the encouragement.

Go for it. See also: https://www.tor.com/tag/african-sff/

I think you want to tighten up your synopsis to be as punchy and catchy as possible. Workshop it with people. Read it out loud.

And for the first few chapter, maybe include more paragraph breaks? They feel blocky, despite all the action and drama in them.

Old writing tip: Consider starting en media res - scrub the first few chapters and drop the reader in the middle of some action, and then dole out context and personal history as needed. Maybe do this, maybe not. Maybe lead the chapters with grabby magical fight scenes / spiritual exercises, then context about how miserable their lives are/were?

https://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/how-to-write-cant-look-away-chapter-breaks-what-i-learned-writing-storming/

https://medium.com/swlh/https-mediu...oat-clearing-out-of-your-writing-3d4021296bbb


> and no way they would use a surname DZIDZOR that annoying to pronunce

Quick google search suggests it's a normal common name in Ghana. Maybe speakers of ... Twi, Ewe, Fante, and Ga ... find it easy to pronounce.

> Also wtf with the ";" ?

That sentence was trying to do too much.

Thanks so much for this. The links look awesome, I'm definitely trying them out.
Dzidzor is actually a first name lol. great with the google search, it's actually a common name here. Yeah, my semi colons are crazy, they definitely need work.

I am all in for any myth or legend.

Yay! Thanks!

A lot of people will not admit this, but we actually don't want original contents. No, seriously. When we perceive something as original, it's usually just a spin-off of the thing we already know and love.

Something truly original is called experimental, and it usually doesn't do well with popularity. Why? It's an unknown. A strange territory.

Many people seek comfort in reading stories, but stories that are too strange will need some serious effort to orient readers and get them comfortable first.

That's where the writing skill comes in. You have to know how to strike the balance between the familiar and the unfamiliar. Ease readers into your story first and then introduce something new.

Thanks for the heads up. I'm getting this a lot to be honest and I'll proceed with caution, but i'll give readers a chance hehehe.

My writing skill isnt Tolkein, but i'll further improve upon it and make sure it brings more readers. Your comment was so kind thank you.

you can put it up and chances are someone'll be curious enough to read it (and by the looks of this thread a few are). though you should never ask the title question in the way you did.

Tsuru has one point right though i think. Being different (as in built on something most people would have no clue about) is a benefit as long as you can package and sell it in the right way to potential readers. Dont try to sell it on the basis of it being 'look, my story is african based. you should read it because it's african'. that, imo, gives no info or intrigue point that could hook curious potential readers (and is the same theory behind moralists trying to browbeat people into believing or supporting a particular view or belief or something). hooting about it being different wont work.

that said, if it's too different you'll have an equal hard time selling people on it so you need to find the sweet spot that shows the difference but which can be relatable to something more well known. a similar theme to a particular legend or such. Just make something RELATABLE that can be the 'in' to readers getting interested enough to stick around when you then dig deeper into the culture and mythology.

I'm sorry by book gives off that image, although it's not intentional. I never sold it like so, but it looks like it's being taken in that context.

From what i'm seeing it's very very different. It may or may not sell but I'm giving the readers a chance. Thanks for the comment!

Well, there's a room for that.

The thing is, you will need to explain lots of the african culture to the unfamiliar English international audiences, as well as minding the difference in some minor but obvious way of living, life outlook, principles, and moral values.

If there's some thing that may considered ugly or unacceptable in international view, then just avoid those topic. Just show the fun and interesting part after some good boring part.

You cannot rely on infodump. You have to explain them through the plot. It's like how MHA made the whole 200 chapter as world building before anything significant happened in the plot.

i do my best in the book to explain the culture. I personally do not believe in erasing uncomfortable parts of history or culture as we can learn from it more than changing it or avoiding it.

I explain everything i can, and i am very open to constructive criticism as and when i need to

 

[Story_Marc]

Just wanted to say, I'm super curious about what you could do for some Urban African Fantasy. I feel there's a market for it.

 

[Lloyd]

Sub-Saharan Africa doesn't have a lot of literature in general because they never invented a written language.