My first story, am i doing good?

[Zinless]

Reincarnated Into Two Bodies

After falling to his death, he wakes up with two bodies?! Reincarnated as both a humble commoner boy and a privileged young noble girl, our protagonist enjoys their new chance in life with two different perspectives. Although they only wished for a peaceful life, the world had other plans in...

www.scribblehub.com

The first story i ever wrote.

Is my grammar okay? Are there any redundant dialogue or sentences? Is it understandable?
What should i do about [insert a problem you noticed here]?

Any feedback is encouraged, thank you.

 

[Oreo]

Most readers on ScribbleHub are silent. For feedback, I recommend writing.com or WritersCafe. Both of those sites have point systems that encourage users to leave reviews. Carefully.

 

[ModernGold7ne]

Reincarnated Into Two Bodies

After falling to his death, he wakes up with two bodies?! Reincarnated as both a humble commoner boy and a privileged young noble girl, our protagonist enjoys their new chance in life with two different perspectives. Although they only wished for a peaceful life, the world had other plans in...

www.scribblehub.com

The first story i ever wrote.

Is my grammar okay? Are there any redundant dialogue or sentences? Is it understandable?
What should i do about [insert a problem you noticed here]?

Any feedback is encouraged, thank you.

Most readers on ScribbleHub are silent. For feedback, I recommend writing.com or WritersCafe. Both of those sites have point systems that encourage users to leave reviews. Carefully.

Or you could do a review swap on royalroad, the ui of writing.com and writers Cafe is horrendous, that fiend literally scared me away.

 

[Deleted member 57675]

Something's lacking in synopsis. Pass sorry.

 

[Anon2024]

I’m not going to touch your novel on the main website so this feedback is only here on the forum:

The beginning 3 chapters are an info dump while basically trying to give off the main characters personality. The main character as of yet doesn’t seem to have any personality or conviction, in other words a he’s kind of boring. Having a boring main character isn’t bad (better than an unlikeable jerk main character) but it doesn’t stand out.

It feels like low effort thought mixed with a lot of hmm… fluff. You’re trying to get the reader to relate with the main character by making him voice complaints and his reactions.

It’s not bad, good enough for a lot of readers to enjoy but not great.

 

[SeeCee]

Or you could do a review swap on royalroad, the ui of writing.com and writers Cafe is horrendous, that fiend literally scared me away.

what's* ui? and how was it bad

 

[Zinless]

Something's lacking in synopsis. Pass sorry.

I’m not going to touch your novel on the main website so this feedback is only here on the forum:

The beginning 3 chapters are an info dump while basically trying to give off the main characters personality. The main character as of yet doesn’t seem to have any personality or conviction, in other words a he’s kind of boring. Having a boring main character isn’t bad (better than an unlikeable jerk main character) but it doesn’t stand out.

It feels like low effort thought mixed with a lot of hmm… fluff. You’re trying to get the reader to relate with the main character by making him voice complaints and his reactions.

It’s not bad, good enough for a lot of readers to enjoy but not great.

Thanks for the feedback, will try my best to improve it!

 

[CarburetorThompson]

what's* ui? and how was it bad

UI stands for user interface.

 

[Anon2024]

Thanks for the feedback, will try my best to improve it!

Well it’s really not bad as it is. Perfect for a web novel.

Great would be something I would say people would buy as a book on Amazon happily. The reason webnovels don’t do as well when converted into ‘books’ is because the chapter by chapter uploading structure often ruins the pacing. If you made it ‘great’ it might not do well as a webnovel.

consider your poison.

 

[ModernGold7ne]

what's* ui? and how was it bad

Ui is an abbreviation for user interface, and the one on said sites are very complicated/not user friendly.

 

[SeeCee]

Ui is an abbreviation for user interface, and the one on said sites are very complicated/not user friendly.

thx