need opinions about my work

[needleman]

This work of mine is only in its infancy, and I know that it is not a lot and I did not continue with it for a while, but I need to know what is missing, what I might add or develop in building and writing, and what you liked about it and what you hated even if with a simple bit of knowledge as you are readers of Scribble Hub ... thx :3

< Hazelnut tree >

 

[DocForL]

bro you drunk?

 

[needleman]

bro you drunk?

I knowww, right?

 

[DocForL]

I knowww, right?

Seriously though, cute story, but bad writing, especially in chapter 3 , probably because the "co-writer" was more drunk than you right now

 

[RinDes]

I have to agree with the above: the story has a certain charm, but the grammar and shifting between present tense and past tense are both in dire need of polishing. It has a lot of flaws, but the idea is there: you just need to rework some parts, and have better constructed sentences.

On a better note, the cover is interesting, whether it's an original piece, or taken off the web.

Kindly, Rin.

 

[sanitylimited]

you have one advantage over all tree based stories so far and that is it hasnt turned into trash. it may be confusing, but its tolerable.

what i would do if i was writing the story is have the tree give blessings to the girl as the tree recovers, eventually turning her into an imortal elf. possibly through a ritual that binds her soul with the tree. eventually after a while the tree would start growing elves to help protect itself so it wont be put in a near death state again. eventually you can expand your teritory whith some slice of life worldbuilding.

have the elves start subordanete villages using rooted branches to create more trees.introduce various races.

just dont make the mistake of making the tree proactive in interfering with the other races. always be the reactionary force

a proactive tree isnt a tree. its just a normal protagonist

 

[ArrogantYoungMaster]

You.

You posted the same thread three times.

 

[RepresentingEnvy]

You.

You posted the same thread three times.

It obviously worked. The third time really was the charm.

 

[ArrogantYoungMaster]

It obviously worked. The third time really was the charm.

 

[needleman]

Seriously though, cute story, but bad writing, especially in chapter 3 , probably because the "co-writer" was more drunk than you right nowtha

Seriously though, cute story, but bad writing, especially in chapter 3 , probably because the "co-writer" was more drunk than you right now

Thanks for your opinion and i will do it in right way

I have to agree with the above: the story has a certain charm, but the grammar and shifting between present tense and past tense are both in dire need of polishing. It has a lot of flaws, but the idea is there: you just need to rework some parts, and have better constructed sentences.

On a better note, the cover is interesting, whether it's an original piece, or taken off the web.

Kindly, Rin.

Oh Thank you, Rin, I really appreciate your advice and opinion, and I hope that the story really won your admiration. As for the arrangement of the written rules, I agree with you. I have a weakness in it, and I try to treat it by writing more and reading. This story is one of my first experiences of development, and if you have advice to develop my writing in terms of grammar or stories that I can review, I will be grateful to you.

Kindly, needleman.

 

[needleman]

You.

You posted the same thread three times.

This is the magic of my tree And I'm sorry about it, but I hit the publish button a thousand times

It obviously worked. The third time really was the charm.

Yes, it worked out of the ordinary, thanks for the charming message✨️

 

[needleman]

you have one advantage over all tree based stories so far and that is it hasnt turned into trash. it may be confusing, but its tolerable.

what i would do if i was writing the story is have the tree give blessings to the girl as the tree recovers, eventually turning her into an imortal elf. possibly through a ritual that binds her soul with the tree. eventually after a while the tree would start growing elves to help protect itself so it wont be put in a near death state again. eventually you can expand your teritory whith some slice of life worldbuilding.

have the elves start subordanete villages using rooted branches to create more trees.introduce various races.

just dont make the mistake of making the tree proactive in interfering with the other races. always be the reactionary force

a proactive tree isnt a tree. its just a normal protagonist

Damn man that is so good for idea but mine has somthing else but looks like what you say, This is what I liked in your opinion about the course of the story and the possibility of developing it, and I hope to be at your best, and also I agree with you on the last point. Do not worry whenever I think about it, it is a tree that will do what plants do to survive and wait for the next chapters to know what level I am in and where the story is going , thanks you helped me alot ✨️