LuoirM
Voidiris' enthusiast feet enjoyer.
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- Mar 5, 2021
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I'll be doing 2 fantasies novel and is trying to write the fight scene. I did one just yesterday on my new chapter but reading it back, it doesn't seem... powerful and impactful as I imagined it was. I'm thinking it has something to do with the way I present my words. Can you guys read the following part and let me know anything I can improve on? Fights are essential for my story in the near future so I must practice it from now.
Oh by the way don't worry about fantasy logic, my MC's just too OP.
The horrifically beautiful wind is blowing through our hair and skin as the sun is shining on top. We're at an open grass field with the four on them has formed a square/circle around me, closest being the melee leader just about 15 steps away. So I got quite amount of distance to play with.
"Let me get this straight: In one minute, you will try and defend against all of our attacks at once, if we can't manage to hit you or make you surrender, we have to let you get your place as a luggage carrier?" The male mage says.
"Yup."
"Too much effort for a boring one-time job" The elf archer, already stretched her bow says with her head shaking. "And we're using real lethal weapon, you sure about this?"
"You guys can't hit me anyways, worry about yourself first."
"Oooooh, ballsy dude, count it down Mei." The leader said, his weapon of choice is a long sword, with his full-body armor (no helmet), he kinda remind me of King Arthur and the Excalibur.
Mei, which is the female mage's name, started counting down, while also preparing herself to hurt me.
"3..."
"2..."
"1..."
"Go!"
*Woooot*
An arrow flew towards, aiming straight to my chest. Which I dodge with ease, using some cheat, including [Ultra Instinct] and [Point Blank Reflexes] to get myself an easier chance to win here.
Hey don't call me out for cheating, this is my power after all. I just use a bit of it.
"I see you're no normal Spell Caster if you can dodge that arrow, let's have fun." The elf who shot the arrow praises me a bit with a deadly look.
"Elemental Spell: Fire Whip!" Mei
"Rock Shots." Male mage.
From Mei's hand, a long rope made completely with red flame came charging at me, while underneath that male mage's ground, pieces of small rocks and cobble mix with dirt flew upwards next to him, he then gesture them to shoot at me pieces by pieces at great speed, not as fast as the other arrow but enough to keep me worry. I try backing up from both of them but forgot about the leader, who immediately swings in to try and catch me with his sword.
15 seconds have pass, 45 remaining
Okay, okay, let's read the situation here.
Close range: Sworded Leader (SL)
Medium Range: Male Mage (MM) and Female Mage (FM)
Long range: Elf Archer (EA)
Spoiler
Best chance I have is to close the distance and disarm EA, but no doubt MM and FM would have an easy shot and definitely would hit me, if I try and duel SL, that might work because MM and FM magic is easy to hit their teammate. But If I do that and he manage to hold me still for a second or two, EA would have an easy shot so I have to always keep an eye on her, there is a slight chance that she'll miss me and hit SL but I'm not taking it. And using SL as a human shield might work, but that's just scummy.
The goal is not to get hit, even a single human skin touch from SL or a rock from MM hitting my back counts.
17 seconds have pass, 43 remaining
I took a deep breath, my (fake) blue eyes turns brighter as my blood is filled with excitement.
There's a rule in fighting team management.
Get the damage dealers first.
[3rd POV]
Luoir, with his eyes filled with blood thirst of the hunt. Immediately turns around and punch the SL in his stomach. "The face would be too lethal" Luoir thinks.
But the SL, with this expected blocked the punch with his sword which annoys Luoir, who immediately use his other hand to punch SL in the face.
20 seconds have pass, 40 remaining.
"He's coming for us, Pearl!" The FM says, as her flaming whip keeps swinging forward, trying to hit the dodgy Luoir, who jumps, ducks, and side-step all over the face.
"Let's not get punch in the face like that then." MM says, as he stop throwing stuff at Luoir.
"Rock Formation." MM quietly says, as all the things from the ground he picked up is not formed as two big boulder. Preparing to throw at Luoir as he gets closer and closer.
"I'm sorry if this leave a wound but your back is expose dude!" EA yells out, as she fire out two arrows at once, aiming for Luoir's back.
*Voot*
*Grabs*
"I'll be making good uses of these."
"No way-"
EA exclaims in shock at what she saw, the dude immediately turn around runing backward, still being able to dodge FM's fire whip, he then grabs both of her arrows by its body which is flying at high speed.
30 seconds have pass, 30 remaining
With his hands holding two arrows downwards as if they're daggers. He still won't stop running at FM and MM.
"Mei, use it right now or we're down!"
"Got it!
Elemental Spell: Water Limbs!" As she calls out her spell, both of her arms got covered in water, the water keeps expanding longer and longer as she gets it from the air around her and some flowers nearby.
She then immediately uses it to swing towards Luoir, if this was real life combat her water would be useless, FM's water is really low-pressured, it only had been use to take showers in rare occasions, but the rules imply hitting Luoir this is her best bet.
"Let me copy that" Luoir says "Elemental Spell: Ice Aura."
The moment he says that, a barrier of cold ice surrounds him, which freeze any water that got close to him.
"Damn it, we forgot he's a Spell Caster."
In this world, Spell Casters are people that doesn't use any staffs/wands or backup equipment but they instead use spells, downside is they cost triple the mana needed which mages need and you actually have to train with your spells, luck isn't a thing in Spell Casting. Upside is they can be really diverse of the spell they use if they train it, from elemental to physical and imaginations.
MM then throws both boulders at Luoir, one first, the other immediately afterwards.
In his surprise, with both arrows on hand, Luoir immediately destroy both of them without even getting hit by the small rocks flying out when the boulder got broken.
The distances are closed. FM didn't have the chance to turn off her water limb, so when Luoir gets close with his Ice Aura. FM's hands are frozen, unable to unfreeze herself.
MM still have one more trick up his sleeves though.
"Right now Mei!"
"Barrier Spell: Round Protection!"
"Barrier Spell: Round Protection!"
They both cast their spell at once, Luoir is only 2 steps away from them, when the spells are casted, MM and FM are covered in an invisible yellowish bubble. Which stops Luoir from reaching them. Also vice versa.
"What can this do?" Luoir asks, dropping both arrows down to the ground.
MM doesn't answer, he just give Luoir a quick smile and looks over to EA, who's been real quiet.
45 seconds have passed, 15 remaining.
All of this wasn't pre-planned, this is just pure understanding and trusts of the fours.
"Hail of Arrows!"
"Ah yes, the basic stereo-typical archery skill in fantasy." Luoir says, as he quietly dodge all the arrows by only moving his shoulders and legs as well as his head a bit. While also keeping an eye on MM and FM in the bubble, waiting for them to make another move.
*woot woot woot woot*
Sounds of arrows raining down are getting slower and lesser.
55 seconds have passed, 5 remaining.
The arrows stopped.
Luoir quietly stands and look at MM and FM's eyes, waiting for the next trick to show up in the last 5 seconds.
He got what he expected.
"The spotlight is yours captain, what kind of vanguard use his mages and archers as baits anyway?" FM says, with a soft sigh and her last smile.
Luoirs looks behind him, SL's is there.
57 seconds have passed, 3 remaining.
The blade is raises at head level.
58 seconds have passed, 2 remaining.
The sharp blade of sword swings by aggressively, splicing through the tough wind.
"We won. Rioul." SL says, as the blade stopped by Luoir's neck. Cutting a piece of his hair on the way.
Game time: 59 seconds.
Result: The 4 wins.
End move: Sword slash.
SL pulled his sword back, rest it on the sheath under his hip.
"Damn, that was unlucky." Luoir says, while stretching his elbows and shoulders.
"Good fight, guys." MM says, as he uses fire to defrost the ices on FM's hands.
"D-Rank Spell Caster you say? You're like some B-Rank Assassin level. I'm not buying that" EA says, while clapping and with her bow wraps around her body.
Oh by the way don't worry about fantasy logic, my MC's just too OP.
The horrifically beautiful wind is blowing through our hair and skin as the sun is shining on top. We're at an open grass field with the four on them has formed a square/circle around me, closest being the melee leader just about 15 steps away. So I got quite amount of distance to play with.
"Let me get this straight: In one minute, you will try and defend against all of our attacks at once, if we can't manage to hit you or make you surrender, we have to let you get your place as a luggage carrier?" The male mage says.
"Yup."
"Too much effort for a boring one-time job" The elf archer, already stretched her bow says with her head shaking. "And we're using real lethal weapon, you sure about this?"
"You guys can't hit me anyways, worry about yourself first."
"Oooooh, ballsy dude, count it down Mei." The leader said, his weapon of choice is a long sword, with his full-body armor (no helmet), he kinda remind me of King Arthur and the Excalibur.
Mei, which is the female mage's name, started counting down, while also preparing herself to hurt me.
"3..."
"2..."
"1..."
"Go!"
*Woooot*
An arrow flew towards, aiming straight to my chest. Which I dodge with ease, using some cheat, including [Ultra Instinct] and [Point Blank Reflexes] to get myself an easier chance to win here.
Hey don't call me out for cheating, this is my power after all. I just use a bit of it.
"I see you're no normal Spell Caster if you can dodge that arrow, let's have fun." The elf who shot the arrow praises me a bit with a deadly look.
"Elemental Spell: Fire Whip!" Mei
"Rock Shots." Male mage.
From Mei's hand, a long rope made completely with red flame came charging at me, while underneath that male mage's ground, pieces of small rocks and cobble mix with dirt flew upwards next to him, he then gesture them to shoot at me pieces by pieces at great speed, not as fast as the other arrow but enough to keep me worry. I try backing up from both of them but forgot about the leader, who immediately swings in to try and catch me with his sword.
15 seconds have pass, 45 remaining
Okay, okay, let's read the situation here.
Close range: Sworded Leader (SL)
Medium Range: Male Mage (MM) and Female Mage (FM)
Long range: Elf Archer (EA)
Spoiler
Best chance I have is to close the distance and disarm EA, but no doubt MM and FM would have an easy shot and definitely would hit me, if I try and duel SL, that might work because MM and FM magic is easy to hit their teammate. But If I do that and he manage to hold me still for a second or two, EA would have an easy shot so I have to always keep an eye on her, there is a slight chance that she'll miss me and hit SL but I'm not taking it. And using SL as a human shield might work, but that's just scummy.
The goal is not to get hit, even a single human skin touch from SL or a rock from MM hitting my back counts.
17 seconds have pass, 43 remaining
I took a deep breath, my (fake) blue eyes turns brighter as my blood is filled with excitement.
There's a rule in fighting team management.
Get the damage dealers first.
[3rd POV]
Luoir, with his eyes filled with blood thirst of the hunt. Immediately turns around and punch the SL in his stomach. "The face would be too lethal" Luoir thinks.
But the SL, with this expected blocked the punch with his sword which annoys Luoir, who immediately use his other hand to punch SL in the face.
20 seconds have pass, 40 remaining.
"He's coming for us, Pearl!" The FM says, as her flaming whip keeps swinging forward, trying to hit the dodgy Luoir, who jumps, ducks, and side-step all over the face.
"Let's not get punch in the face like that then." MM says, as he stop throwing stuff at Luoir.
"Rock Formation." MM quietly says, as all the things from the ground he picked up is not formed as two big boulder. Preparing to throw at Luoir as he gets closer and closer.
"I'm sorry if this leave a wound but your back is expose dude!" EA yells out, as she fire out two arrows at once, aiming for Luoir's back.
*Voot*
*Grabs*
"I'll be making good uses of these."
"No way-"
EA exclaims in shock at what she saw, the dude immediately turn around runing backward, still being able to dodge FM's fire whip, he then grabs both of her arrows by its body which is flying at high speed.
30 seconds have pass, 30 remaining
With his hands holding two arrows downwards as if they're daggers. He still won't stop running at FM and MM.
"Mei, use it right now or we're down!"
"Got it!
Elemental Spell: Water Limbs!" As she calls out her spell, both of her arms got covered in water, the water keeps expanding longer and longer as she gets it from the air around her and some flowers nearby.
She then immediately uses it to swing towards Luoir, if this was real life combat her water would be useless, FM's water is really low-pressured, it only had been use to take showers in rare occasions, but the rules imply hitting Luoir this is her best bet.
"Let me copy that" Luoir says "Elemental Spell: Ice Aura."
The moment he says that, a barrier of cold ice surrounds him, which freeze any water that got close to him.
"Damn it, we forgot he's a Spell Caster."
In this world, Spell Casters are people that doesn't use any staffs/wands or backup equipment but they instead use spells, downside is they cost triple the mana needed which mages need and you actually have to train with your spells, luck isn't a thing in Spell Casting. Upside is they can be really diverse of the spell they use if they train it, from elemental to physical and imaginations.
MM then throws both boulders at Luoir, one first, the other immediately afterwards.
In his surprise, with both arrows on hand, Luoir immediately destroy both of them without even getting hit by the small rocks flying out when the boulder got broken.
The distances are closed. FM didn't have the chance to turn off her water limb, so when Luoir gets close with his Ice Aura. FM's hands are frozen, unable to unfreeze herself.
MM still have one more trick up his sleeves though.
"Right now Mei!"
"Barrier Spell: Round Protection!"
"Barrier Spell: Round Protection!"
They both cast their spell at once, Luoir is only 2 steps away from them, when the spells are casted, MM and FM are covered in an invisible yellowish bubble. Which stops Luoir from reaching them. Also vice versa.
"What can this do?" Luoir asks, dropping both arrows down to the ground.
MM doesn't answer, he just give Luoir a quick smile and looks over to EA, who's been real quiet.
45 seconds have passed, 15 remaining.
All of this wasn't pre-planned, this is just pure understanding and trusts of the fours.
"Hail of Arrows!"
"Ah yes, the basic stereo-typical archery skill in fantasy." Luoir says, as he quietly dodge all the arrows by only moving his shoulders and legs as well as his head a bit. While also keeping an eye on MM and FM in the bubble, waiting for them to make another move.
*woot woot woot woot*
Sounds of arrows raining down are getting slower and lesser.
55 seconds have passed, 5 remaining.
The arrows stopped.
Luoir quietly stands and look at MM and FM's eyes, waiting for the next trick to show up in the last 5 seconds.
He got what he expected.
"The spotlight is yours captain, what kind of vanguard use his mages and archers as baits anyway?" FM says, with a soft sigh and her last smile.
Luoirs looks behind him, SL's is there.
57 seconds have passed, 3 remaining.
The blade is raises at head level.
58 seconds have passed, 2 remaining.
The sharp blade of sword swings by aggressively, splicing through the tough wind.
"We won. Rioul." SL says, as the blade stopped by Luoir's neck. Cutting a piece of his hair on the way.
Game time: 59 seconds.
Result: The 4 wins.
End move: Sword slash.
SL pulled his sword back, rest it on the sheath under his hip.
"Damn, that was unlucky." Luoir says, while stretching his elbows and shoulders.
"Good fight, guys." MM says, as he uses fire to defrost the ices on FM's hands.
"D-Rank Spell Caster you say? You're like some B-Rank Assassin level. I'm not buying that" EA says, while clapping and with her bow wraps around her body.
It's great. You'll get there, it just takes practice.
