New Writer Seeking Reviews!

[MrBtheNovelist]

Hi everyone,

Glad to take my first steps into the writing community on the Scribblehub! I'm a budding novelist barely a week into the world of novels. Pretty excited to be a part of the community :D
I'm not a professional writer but I've been obsessed with reading novels the past 2-3years so I've decided to pursue my passion for novels.
I actually started reading novels to learn mandarin (so I've not really read many English novels =/). But after 10s of 1000s of chapters read, spanning a variety of genres I figured I'd have a go at it myself. ScribbleHub was recommended to me by a buddy of mine and so here I am to learn and improve my writing skills from scratch.

My first novel "Time After Death: Chronicles of a Tyrant Prince" has its general timeline/main chars mapped out and I've completed writing the first 10chapters (15k+ words). I actually only wanted to officially post and join the forums 30chapters in. But after I had decided to add author's notes to my chapters, I realized that aside from the story details I expounded upon, I had asked a lot of questions. Now, realistically I might not even get any views, but I figured that if I even got 1 constructive comment, I'd be able to improve that slight bit faster. Haha enough of the rambling, I'll put a synopsis of my novel below, check it out when its been approved :)

Time After Death : Chronicles of A Tyrant Prince
“My life on earth was just a Pre-Birth Simulation?!”
It’s theorised that our planet has experienced 4 mass extinction events, Prince Chronos Astral was born into Tertius (the 3rd), an advanced civilisation of cultivators with Dimensional Sigils that bestow upon them an affinity to the powers that form the foundations of our Universe.

However, the Empire of Technia, a cyborg race who have forgone their humanity, looms across the horizon. Controlled by extraterrestrial invaders and a corrupted Goddess of the Future, the Technians have no choice but to lay the foundations for an inherent future of android dominion.
Humanity’s second and last chance to preserve their home planet might depend on the tyrant Prince of Astral - Chronos Astral. Follow along his perilous journey in a war of timelines to decide the rulers of our planet.
This isn’t a rags to riches story; It is the chronicles of a gifted prince with an Empire at his disposal. But… would it be enough?

Link >>> Time After Death : Chronicles of A Tyrant Prince <<<

Cheers and Much Love,
MrB The Novelist

 

[WinterTimeCrime]

I almost put the book down because I thought it was some isekai prologue, then he got placed into a pod, and I was like, what the hell is going on here...? But after reading the synopsis, I got a good idea of where it could lead and continued reading.

But anyways, I really like the worldbuilding set in the first chapter, nice job. You give the reader small portions to work with as you start your endeavor into trying to frame the world for the reader. Although all the characters mentioned are relatives of the MC, they seem fascinating in their own right, and I'm glad you gave us insight on the status of their empire.

Now the second chapter is where you lost me... And it feels like one of those books where you have to re-read to comprehend what you've already read, and that's something a general reader will not want to do unless they're particularly interested in your work. The introduction of the antagonist (I guess?) and the purple lights are the only things I sort of got, and unfortunately, I don't care enough for a re-read to figure out more.

But this seems to me more of a first draft, so there are apparent dialogue marks that need to be re-written, grammar issues, and the sentence structuring is hard to follow; However, I see a lot of potential after the cleanup since all first drafts are bad, they're supposed to be. Just focus on writing for now and letting your creativity flow, then go back and work on the draft because it does need some polishing.

Keep writing!

 

[MrBtheNovelist]

I almost put the book down because I thought it was some isekai prologue, then he got placed into a pod, and I was like, what the hell is going on here...? But after reading the synopsis, I got a good idea of where it could lead and continued reading.

But anyways, I really like the worldbuilding set in the first chapter, nice job. You give the reader small portions to work with as you start your endeavor into trying to frame the world for the reader. Although all the characters mentioned are relatives of the MC, they seem fascinating in their own right, and I'm glad you gave us insight on the status of their empire.

Now the second chapter is where you lost me... And it feels like one of those books where you have to re-read to comprehend what you've already read, and that's something a general reader will not want to do unless they're particularly interested in your work. The introduction of the antagonist (I guess?) and the purple lights are the only things I sort of got, and unfortunately, I don't care enough for a re-read to figure out more.

But this seems to me more of a first draft, so there are apparent dialogue marks that need to be re-written, grammar issues, and the sentence structuring is hard to follow; However, I see a lot of potential after the cleanup since all first drafts are bad, they're supposed to be. Just focus on writing for now and letting your creativity flow, then go back and work on the draft because it does need some polishing.

Keep writing!

Thanks soo much for the constructive comment!
I agree 100%, one of the reasons I split the chapter into 2 was also because I was unsatisfied with it. I decided to just continue on in hopes that writing dialogues and descriptions will come more naturally to me. Then I'll circle back and hopefully be able to fine-tune things.

Thanks loads again for taking the time to review it, I learnt a lot!

Much Love and Appreciation,
MrBtheNovelist