kokiboki
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2020
- Messages
- 78
- Points
- 58
So, I'm in a dilemma. I have two versions of Chapter One, and I don't know which one to delete or continue working on for my story on Scribble Hub.
(Not anywhere else)
Both versions of it, Aren't finished
I'd like to have your honest opinion on this.
Ver.1
A hidden paradise lies deep within the jungle, a place from which no one has ever returned. Beneath the dense canopy of a lush tropical rainforest, a stilt hut stands, its thatched walls sheltering Han Kuize from the elements.
The thick foliage blocks any cooling breeze, causing her discomfort in the sweltering heat.
[Miss Han, you currently possess 42 points. Would you prefer to convert them into the local currency?]
"No, send me the coordinates of the nearest village." Han Kuize snaps impatiently, throwing her hand fan aside.
Ver. 2
Han Kuize awoke in a dimly lit hut, her eyes gradually adjusting to the darkness. As she surveyed the room, a faint ray of sunlight caught her attention, filtering through the cracks in the thatched walls. The air was cool, carrying the distinct scents of damp earth and wet grass.
As she lays there, A spoon is brought to her mouth— she couldn't help but part her lips, accepting the offering. The warmth was comforting, but the flavor was oddly plain, as if the ingredients had been watered down, leaving only a hint of their true essence.
She wonders how she got here
(Not anywhere else)
Both versions of it, Aren't finished
I'd like to have your honest opinion on this.
Ver.1
A hidden paradise lies deep within the jungle, a place from which no one has ever returned. Beneath the dense canopy of a lush tropical rainforest, a stilt hut stands, its thatched walls sheltering Han Kuize from the elements.
The thick foliage blocks any cooling breeze, causing her discomfort in the sweltering heat.
[Miss Han, you currently possess 42 points. Would you prefer to convert them into the local currency?]
"No, send me the coordinates of the nearest village." Han Kuize snaps impatiently, throwing her hand fan aside.
Ver. 2
Han Kuize awoke in a dimly lit hut, her eyes gradually adjusting to the darkness. As she surveyed the room, a faint ray of sunlight caught her attention, filtering through the cracks in the thatched walls. The air was cool, carrying the distinct scents of damp earth and wet grass.
As she lays there, A spoon is brought to her mouth— she couldn't help but part her lips, accepting the offering. The warmth was comforting, but the flavor was oddly plain, as if the ingredients had been watered down, leaving only a hint of their true essence.
She wonders how she got here
Last edited:
