Zombie words

[doravg]

So, I found an article that states, that when we depict a body part moving almost on its own, such as hands, then we use zombie words, which is a big no-no.
For example, instead of saying:
My hand moved.
We should say:
I moved my hand.
Does that article hold water? Because if it does.
(I cringe internally.)

 

[georgelee5786]

It holds a little. Saying, "My hand moved" is weirder than "I moved my hand"

 

[Gryphon]

Saying "My hand moved" implies that your hand moved without conscience thought. Hence the term, zombie words. Depending on context it can work. Like say an expert sharpshooter instinctively moving their hand towards their gun, not giving any actual thought in doing so because they've done it so much.

Example:
"My hand moved towards the pistol by my waste. I spun around and fired the gun before the intruder could even open the door to my home."

The sentence implies that he instinctively knew to go for the gun without thought, giving the indication he's used it multiple time's before. I also added in him actively spinning around as a conscious action since that's something you actively got to think to do, even if it takes only half a second of thought. It makes the sentence flow better to

 

[J_Chemist]

I was ready for a question on how to narrate someone who's become a zombie. I am slightly disappointed.

We may not put concious effort into the things we do (like breathing automatically instead of manually), but we do make the concious decision to perform certain tasks. Like with typing. We know we have to hit the keys in a certain way to get the words we want but you don't stop every individual keystroke to tell your muscles to move. Your brain just fires like an engine and your body performs the action.

Writing as though there's a disconnect between brain and action is odd. It signifies that there's a different entity performing the action, not the actual individual. With the "My hand moved..." statement, it's almost insinuating that something else caused the hand to move. Maybe if the character was delirious, had their mind invaded, or was in a mental state which caused their mind to sort of separate from their body. Then it would work.

As a typical sentence? Nah. The character moved their hand on their own.

 

[TotallyHuman]

If you examine your behavior you will realise that apart from a thing deep within you constantly saying "I am a thing" you really do not have any input on yourself.
Your actions and thoughts being done with even a slither of your own will is but an illusion.
It's not just your hand that moved, it was also your thoughts that appeared and then dissapeared.

 

[melchi]

So, I found an article that states, that when we depict a body part moving almost on its own, such as hands, then we use zombie words, which is a big no-no.
For example, instead of saying:
My hand moved.
We should say:
I moved my hand.
Does that article hold water? Because if it does.
(I cringe internally.)

A little bit I think. But like others have said it depends on the context. Like someone's tell when playing poker.

Would it be Joe's face twitched. Or Joe twitched his face.

Or say someone took a nasty hit: Would it be, my body crumpled to the ground or I crumpled to the ground.

I wouldn't say it is a big no-no. In some cases it is better to do it one way others it sounds weird.

 

[miyoga]

I've gotta agree with some of the people here that context is important, as is the genre and theme. If you're writing a supernatural story, then a scene could go:
"A: 'What happened here?!'
MC: 'My hand moved.'
A: 'And your hand moving did all this? HOW!?'
MC: 'It just did.'
A: 'Well don't let it move again. Stay here while I find someone to clean this mess up.'"

While this may not be perfect writing, it shows that zombie words do have a place. It also just so happens that in this fictional example, the MC has no conscious involvement with the movement which is something that could be explained earlier or is part of the mystery that the MC is trying to resolve.

 

[Deleted member 54065]

So, I found an article that states, that when we depict a body part moving almost on its own, such as hands, then we use zombie words, which is a big no-no.
For example, instead of saying:
My hand moved.
We should say:
I moved my hand.
Does that article hold water? Because if it does.
(I cringe internally.)

My only take with active and passive voices in story telling is...

...fuck it. As long as I'm understood, I'm fine with anything, really.

My reason is, we keep on doubting, editing, doubting, editing, rinse and repeat with our stories, because we try to 'improve' and make sure that we give out the 'best' in our works. We look at 'rules', listen to 'experts', that we end up procrastinating and nothing done. And lots of self-doubt, trying to determine whether we can bring out a 'decent' story.

I'd say, yes, it's nice to be reminded from time to time of the rules and listen to good advice. However, if you just keep on doubting that you end up with nothing done and/or written, I'd say fuck those rules and wing it. Rewrites and editions exist for a reason; and it's because an author has already did something that needs to be corrected, not to be thrown into the trash bin.

You won't develop your writing skills if you just keep on doubting yourself and don't write. And you also won't develop your own style if you religiously follow the rules you find, or watch, online. In an era where information is freely accessible, the only ones that would cringe on works that don't follow the convention are the gatekeepers, and the critics, especially now that English language is the international lingua franca.

Improve. Develop. But also, don't forget, take a risk.

 

[J_Chemist]

My only take with active and passive voices in story telling is...

...fuck it. As long as I'm understood, I'm fine with anything, really.

My reason is, we keep on doubting, editing, doubting, editing, rinse and repeat with our stories, because we try to 'improve' and make sure that we give out the 'best' in our works. We look at 'rules', listen to 'experts', that we end up procrastinating and nothing done. And lots of self-doubt, trying to determine whether we can bring out a 'decent' story.

I'd say, yes, it's nice to be reminded from time to time of the rules and listen to good advice. However, if you just keep on doubting that you end up with nothing done and/or written, I'd say fuck those rules and wing it. Rewrites and editions exist for a reason; and it's because an author has already did something that needs to be corrected, not to be thrown into the trash bin.

You won't develop your writing skills if you just keep on doubting yourself and don't write. And you also won't develop your own style if you religiously follow the rules you find, or watch, online. In an era where information is freely accessible, the only ones that would cringe on works that don't follow the convention are the gatekeepers, and the critics, especially now that English language is the international lingua franca.

Improve. Develop. But also, don't forget, take a risk.

Definitely agree with this. Rules are there to guide us into a standard of writing that helps everyone understand what you're trying to say. But, if you're trying to create your own style or if you want to write something a certain way- go ham. Do you. Have your fun and I guarantee that there will be readers who enjoy it. Don't let those rules stop you from creating something fun that you love.

Of course, if someone does point out an error and says "hey, try this, it might be better", be open minded about it and use that as a way to better your writing as a whole! We're here to gamble and ride the high of likes and follows. So don't miss your opportunity to indulge.

 

[Deleted member 54065]

Definitely agree with this. Rules are there to guide us into a standard of writing that helps everyone understand what you're trying to say. But, if you're trying to create your own style or if you want to write something a certain way- go ham. Do you. Have your fun and I guarantee that there will be readers who enjoy it. Don't let those rules stop you from creating something fun that you love.

Of course, if someone does point out an error and says "hey, try this, it might be better", be open minded about it and use that as a way to better your writing as a whole! We're here to gamble and ride the high of likes and follows. So don't miss your opportunity to indulge.

I remember that article where the author kept on enumerating rules to 'write correctly' on active and passive voices, only to invalidate those by citing J.K. Rowling as an example of an exemption to everything she said.

The reason? Her example is the J.K. Rowling. And I was like, "What the hell is everything she said for? Before Rowling got recognized, she's a nobody that is persistent on submitting and editing her Harry Potter novel to publishers, and one just decided her work may have its merits and give it a chance."

So then, I realized, listening to these 'experts' can be beneficial, but if one followed all their rules, we'd only stress ourselves in writing something we don't like, or understand.

Besides, early artists and writers don't even know the rules. They just wrote stuff, and struck luck with their audiences, hence their popularity (just like Shakespeare who tends to invent words that actually stuck up to the modern English). Only then when the 'scholars' came in that the rules became evident, and even then, it's meant to help, not to limit, just like what you said.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

 

[Aaqil]

So, I found an article that states, that when we depict a body part moving almost on its own, such as hands, then we use zombie words, which is a big no-no.
For example, instead of saying:
My hand moved.
We should say:
I moved my hand.
Does that article hold water? Because if it does.
(I cringe internally.)

But you aren't moving your hand,
This article is very confusing, if you aren't consciously doing the moving, then why would you say you are,

 

[RavenRunes]

You can read all the articles you want about how you 'should' write, and then when you stop writing and start reading, you learn that nobody who's published bothers with such silly rules, that they are there to hold you back, and you can write your story how you damn well please, as long as it flows and doesn't suddenly jar the reader out of their immersive experience.

Keep the rules somewhere close by so you know they're there, but ultimately you 'should' only write a sentence that works and makes contextual sense. Grammar rules notwithstanding obvs.

Anyway, it doesn't always work that way. Compare 'I farted' with 'My fart busted out of me like the effluence of fuel from a rocket-ship, thick and sulphuric and infinitely Lovecraftian in its manifestation. My knees buckled under the force and my head hit the table-edge as I went down choking. My lungs withered, my stomach contracted, my hands clawed at my watering eyes.'

 

[Minx]

Unfortunately for this silly little rules, you can't tell me what to do. I will write what I wanted, and let my readers suffered!

 

[melchi]

Am I the only one who thinks of the scene where ash is breaking plates on his head in evil dead 2?

. . . my hand moved