Mythrnl
Member
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2023
- Messages
- 20
- Points
- 13
Hey everyone!
Just crossed 50K, and I need your help to tell me what I did wrong.
Anything from the first chapter, the latest chapter. Even the first paragraph.
Just choose one and point out what you don't like or what breaks your immersion.
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
If you are free and helping. Thank you very much.
If you're not free but are still helping, Thank you very, very much.. 10x
Links to expedite:
First Chap -
Latest Chap -
Thank you for reading this junior's words.
Things that I've worked on from previous feedback:
Just crossed 50K, and I need your help to tell me what I did wrong.
Anything from the first chapter, the latest chapter. Even the first paragraph.
Just choose one and point out what you don't like or what breaks your immersion.
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
If you are free and helping. Thank you very much.
If you're not free but are still helping, Thank you very, very much.. 10x
Links to expedite:
First Chap -
Latest Chap -
Thank you for reading this junior's words.
Things that I've worked on from previous feedback:
- Overuse of words such as 'seems,' 'thought,' 'said' etc. Worked: Have swapped with appropriate words where required. Like considered/ muttered, shouted, etc.
- Passive Voice. Working: Rereading English Grammer... (A/N This was not what I thought I would do as an Author). Using Grammarly to edit as a short-term measure.
- Too Much World Building. I used 4 continuous chapters to explain my cultivation. Working: From chapters 26-30. Working on it. Maybe add a scene where the MC is disturbed during. Will make it seamless.
- Too much Fluff in first chapter. Worked: Gonna trim that out a little.
- Tenses. Got some confusing sentences. Working: Narrative - PastTense, Dialog - PresentTense, Monologue - PresentTense
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