You're a brave little cat.
Here's mine, only 7 chapter out right now.
Peter is a broken and bitter man with nothing left to live for. The loss of his best friend, his loyal dog Zeus, threatens to drive him over the edge. However, as events take an unexpected turn and bizarre circumstances surround him, he refuses to die. Despair, struggle, and mystery....
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I read all available chapters.
This is the score I decided on:
Overall: Who the hell are you calling little? (Enjoyable)
Grammar: 5/5
Seems fine to me. There were no errors that brought me out of my reading so it gets a 5.
Style: 4/5
This was a little hard to judge. Your style is the norm, prose is fine, and your sentences are constructed well for the most part. One thing I have to mention is that sometimes you drone on for longer than necessary. It made my attention shift and I had to refocus. Other than that, I feel like some of your paragraphs could be better broken up. Could just be me, take this one with a grain of salt.
Story: First chapter (4.5/5) After that (3.8/5)
First chapter was great, in my opinion! Writing was on point and emotions were easy to feel. The final confrontation is a pretty nice hook. After that? It kinda loses momentum. I can understand why, but it began to feel very slow, not exactly in the ‘dark souls’ kind of way either.
Characters: 4/5
You showed a lot of the MC’s personality in the first couple chapters! You hinted at his past and current relationships pretty well and managed to make me care about him somewhat despite the few chapters. I do like his thoughts in the narrative, but I think they are some times unneeded.
It was a nice read. I like dark stories, so I will keep an eye on it. Hope you continue and get more readers! Don’t call me lil again, though, for your sake.
I'd love some thoughts if its okay with you?
In the neon-soaked, rain-drenched streets of Novus Aether, a city of splendor shadowing a world of despair, a former guardian finds himself summoned to the enigmatic Crystals. An invitation, simple yet profound, propels him into the heart of the metropolis's glittering dangers and whispered...
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I could only read chapter 0.
This is the score I decided on:
Overall: Alright.
Grammar: 5/5
Good grammar. I did not notice any errors (other than some capitalized words). It automatically gets a 5 since my reading went unimpeded.
Style: 2/5
I could not force myself to click the next chapter button. The sheer amount of unneeded detail was a bit too much for me to bear.
Too many adjectives and adverbs, quite a bit of repetition when the average reader can read between the lines, etc. Sentence and paragraph structure are both alright, I would just suggest polishing up your chapters. Purple prose can be fine, I think, but this wasn’t it for me.
Story: 3/5
There wasn’t anything groundbreaking or exciting on the first chapter. Quite the average start— which is why I will give it an average score. Would probably need to read much further to judge it well.
Characters: 3.5/5
There was
some amount of personality shown through MC’s thoughts and actions, but nothing to write home about. As of the very first chapter I would say he is a pretty bland character with potential to be more the further the story goes.
I would suggest getting more feedback to see if they hold similar opinions to mine. I hope you continue with your story and I wish you luck.