A New Wholesome Story

[Bronzeapollo]

Hello and welcome to me shamelessly asking for criticisms of my new story, Meet Luna, my Daughter. It is a simple story with little plot twists and contrivances as it is meant to revolve around the lives of Luna and Aster. I always feel the chapters are missing something, a sentimentality that brings the reader in. So since I feel that way I want to hear from others about what they feel is missing to paint a better picture of what is happening in the story. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you.

Meet Luna, my Daughter | Scribble Hub

 

[Oreo]

Most readers on ScribbleHub are silent. For feedback, I recommend writing.com or WritersCafe. Both of those sites have point systems that encourage users to leave reviews.

 

[K5Rakitan]

Most readers on ScribbleHub are silent. For feedback, I recommend writing.com or WritersCafe. Both of those sites have point systems that encourage users to leave reviews.

Carefully, my minion, carefully.

I want to hear from others about what they feel is missing

Firsthand experience always helps with writing. How long ago did you have your children?

 

[Bronzeapollo]

Firsthand experience always helps with writing. How long ago did you have your children?

I actually don't have children, this story mostly stems from the fact of me reminiscing about stories that exist for the sole purpose of happy escapism.

 

[Deleted member 57675]

Most readers on ScribbleHub are silent. For feedback, I recommend writing.com or WritersCafe. Both of those sites have point systems that encourage users to leave reviews.

K5 alt?