Blunt Feedback Thread [Closed]

[Anon2024]

I never take part in these so why not. How about my spoopy Haloween short stories?

As someone who makes youtube videos I'm sure you already know the things I'm going to say about it... well here it goes... my subjective opinion.

From what I understand you're either going for a scary tone, or a sarcastic tone. I couldn't quite tell but I felt your story leaned more towards sarcastic and bombastic and your "scarryyyyyy" word there probably leans into it.

If you're trying to be funny... well I didn't really find any of the stories funny. If you're trying to be scary then there is a tone problem. I mean that as in the tone of the 1st person in the shorts don't match horror, and the tone in the 3rd person don't really settle on a scene long enough.

Here's excerpt from Dossier 36

In a gurgling pool of his own blood in front of me is this man, at least I think he's a man because holy shit, what has happened to him? His skin is torn out and warped in shunks. It looked like some grizzly tore into his skin with some foot long claws. Big gashes exposing tracks of inards to the world, but with hooked claws because this shit is pulled outward– inverted– the skin folding into itself where these giant three gashes are, and they are everywhere: legs, arms, right through the fucking chests. There's bones lifted into the night sky on that injury with little yellow flecks of fat on 'em, had to be broken in at least three places to get that angle. And of course you can see the organs and shit in the wound itself.
Yeah, so it was bad and you'd think I'd throw up at this point, ready to at the start, but not even once. Instead, I'm in a cold sweat. My fingers try to tap out 9-1-1 with my blurry vision weighing them down and I'm missing all sorts of numbers.

The problem is you're giving the extremely "scared" thoughts of the narrator. By giving those thoughts and using a writing style that is too simple and acting as though it was difficult to describe it's hard to see the horror. The biggest horror is in literature is the horror of the unknown. This scene would work well in a movie/animation or in a comic where there is sound involved but if you're trying to paint a picture for the reader it loses the horror portion.

In simpler terms, it’s difficult to establish tone if the narrator themselves is reacting. Instead I was more distracted by the narrators feelings over the actual monster or situation.

Being scary in literature requires a consistent tone that puts the reader on edge and makes them question what is on the other side of what they're scared of.

As far as the short with the best tone I'd say it's Hush, Baby.

The thing is "fear" is experienced differently by different people so while some might find Dossier or Mirror Joe scary, there will be a large portion who won't.

If I had to rank in terms of horror:
1. Hush Baby
2. Objects in Mirror.
3. Clown Hospital
4. Dossier 36

There is an effort to establish the clown in Clown Hospital but there isn't much exploration of the unknown intentions of the clown until the very end when the victims are stitched. Not only that but the Clown didn’t have any scenes where it scared the characters in 3rd person and there isn’t much question.

Also, horror clowns will always be compared to It.

This is just my subjective opinion.

 

[unknownking]

>complains about wasting time on the forums
>starts a review thread

duality of man

 

[LiteraryWho]

I'm always looking for different perspectives on my story Nova (especially since there are tricky things I'm going for and it's hard to see if I actually pulled them off).

If you're interested, it's an action sci-fi/fantasy story about a mercenary and his team on a planet with monsters and magic.

 

[TheTrinary]

As someone who makes youtube videos I'm sure you already know the things I'm going to say about it... well here it goes... my subjective opinion.

From what I understand you're either going for a scary tone, or a sarcastic tone. I couldn't quite tell but I felt your story leaned more towards sarcastic and bombastic and your "scarryyyyyy" word there probably leans into it.

If you're trying to be funny... well I didn't really find any of the stories funny. If you're trying to be scary then there is a tone problem. I mean that as in the tone of the 1st person in the shorts don't match horror, and the tone in the 3rd person don't really settle on a scene long enough.

Here's excerpt from Dossier 36


The problem is you're giving the extremely "scared" thoughts of the narrator. By giving those thoughts and using a writing style that is too simple and acting as though it was difficult to describe it's hard to see the horror. The biggest horror is in literature is the horror of the unknown. This scene would work well in a movie/animation or in a comic where there is sound involved but if you're trying to paint a picture for the reader it loses the horror portion.

In simpler terms, it’s difficult to establish tone if the narrator themselves is reacting. Instead I was more distracted by the narrators feelings over the actual monster or situation.

Being scary in literature requires a consistent tone that puts the reader on edge and makes them question what is on the other side of what they're scared of.

As far as the short with the best tone I'd say it's Hush, Baby.

The thing is "fear" is experienced differently by different people so while some might find Dossier or Mirror Joe scary, there will be a large portion who won't.

If I had to rank in terms of horror:
1. Hush Baby
2. Objects in Mirror.
3. Clown Hospital
4. Dossier 36

There is an effort to establish the clown in Clown Hospital but there isn't much exploration of the unknown intentions of the clown until the very end when the victims are stitched. Not only that but the Clown didn’t have any scenes where it scared the characters in 3rd person and there isn’t much question.

Also, horror clowns will always be compared to It.

This is just my subjective opinion.

Oh yeah the third story is goofy. I had a weird idea and I don't think it worked.

Thanks for the feedback.

 

[Anon2024]

I'm always looking for different perspectives on my story Nova (especially since there are tricky things I'm going for and it's hard to see if I actually pulled them off).

If you're interested, it's an action sci-fi/fantasy story about a mercenary and his team on a planet with monsters and magic.

I read up to chapter 6 before giving up. First I want to say that I'm abnormally harsh on what I'm willing to invest my time in and this is also my subjective opinion.

What I like:
1. There is nothing technically wrong with your formatting, paragraph structure or how you write.
2. Grammar is on point, it's easy to read an understand.
3. You seem to give the story a fast pace trying to introduce a lot of characters...
4. You make up "saying" like "I've seen gel move faster than you," which adds a little bit of flavor to the world.

What I didn't like (this is all my personal tastes, doesn't mean it's bad just my personal tastes):
1. So far I don't like Hitori. This is something that's common with a lot of the newer stories. Sure Hitori curses, sure he yells at his team mates, but that doesn't change the fact that he doesn't have an edge to him. He listens to his instructors, there is no moral dilemma with listening to Ms. Athens even if he complains about certain things out in the field while leading his team.

I skipped to chapter 15 to see if Hitori develops at all, like changes his speech, gets hardened etc... and I didn't notice much difference.

Now, before we're properly introduced to any dilemma or even an obstacle that is going to be in the way of Hitori going to the top, his dreams, etc... we're then introduced to a ton of characters in chapter 2 I believe. These are characters that are given dialogue that doesn't really tell us much. We have Cindy arguing with kimi mindy and some other person whose name I forgot, and they're all forgettable at the beginning. When introducing characters, if there isn't an event or an identifying point or even just them standing in the background it feels like a forced interaction that is only there to try and get me to attach.

I could really care less for that kind of intro, and now I've got a whole bunch of names I'm supposed to keep track of before I even get to know Hitori who is supposed to be the main character.

2. Even if you have sayings like "I've seen Gel move faster" there is far too much info dump within dialogue that you're forcing someone like me who isn't invested to try and categorize the information and understand it. The question you have to ask is whether the information is relevant at this part of the story.

I'm talking about the intro. Is all that world building relevant? I mean you're introducing a bunch of school lessons in chapter two... good for world building but I'm not even interested in the world at this point if the characters aren't to my liking or I don't know enough about them.

I mean, if this was a World Driven story rather than a Character Driven story then I would take a different approach but from the very beginning it had been about Hitori and his interaction with others. A World Driven story is also interesting but such stories require a different mindset to enjoy. By different mindset I mean that I wouldn't want to be following a bunch of characters and their likes/dislikes or ideas and lifestyles if the point of the story is how the world interacts.

A world driven story doesn't care as much about the character's personal tastes and ideas as it does about the events that take place. A good example of a world driven story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, the Giver, Brave New world and Atlas Shrugged where the focus is less about the characters and more about what is happening in the world.

I'm just saying... in a character driven story, the investment has to be more with the characters and how relatable they are rather than the world building which should be secondary. It's also difficult to do world building in literature compared to a visual medium like comics when there aren't as many comparable examples, the audience who might be more familiar with the genre you write I would guess read light novels about magical academies and what not.

Either way, I got uninterested and wanted to start skimming at Chapter 2, it's a miracle I made it to 6. Doesn't mean the story is bad, just that it's really not for me and the above is why.

 

[RainingSky]

For blunt and probably very harsh feedback. Give it a try if you feel like it, it's about the bad guys, and really they are the bad guys not the good ones.
It's a bit of a slow starter but I am attempting to keep it interesting nevertheless.

We the Villains

Titania lost everything that ever meant something to her. Her Future, her Family, her Heart. She swore to return. Can she survive in a world of monsters and magic? Can she bring the ones responsible for her tragedy to her own brand of justice? Titania never wanted to be a...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Anon2024]

For blunt and probably very harsh feedback. Give it a try if you feel like it, it's about the bad guys, and really they are the bad guys not the good ones.
It's a bit of a slow starter but I am attempting to keep it interesting nevertheless.

We the Villains

Titania lost everything that ever meant something to her. Her Future, her Family, her Heart. She swore to return. Can she survive in a world of monsters and magic? Can she bring the ones responsible for her tragedy to her own brand of justice? Titania never wanted to be a...

www.scribblehub.com

Preface this by saying I'm just one reader of many and these are all subjective. I am also different from most readers as what I enjoy is usually niche and specific. I got to chapter 11.

What I like:
1. I think your pacing is very good. You have good prose and very few grammar errors. The only thing is that it's sometimes confusing when you use pronouns like "her and Him" because I think they are used interchangeably in some paragraphs making me think you are translating this from another language but it is still readable.

2. You don't have a lot of useless dialogue, a lot of your scenes have speaking characters who are to the point.

3. You don't have info dump chapters that try to explain a ton through dialogue. The story moves from scene to scene, and characters enter and leave seamlessly.

4. I don't think I can give feedback on the technical aspect of your writing, which is a compliment. Most of your errors can be fixed by good editing or a copy writer.

What I don't like (Very Subjective as I'm not your target audience):

1. I don't like Titania. Her character type annoys me. The story is about her being the villain or the bad guy yet she hasn't done anything quite villainy. The first chapter if I remember correctly has her inheriting her family because her brother was murderous and wants to crush people. After that she starts going to school and the other nobles don't like her in that class. It's so cliche, however because there isn't enough chapters I don't know how Titania is going to change from the tragic event beyond the fact she's currently trying to escape the killers.

2. Introduction of her family is a slow burn. The actual plot doesn't begin until chapter 8 when I think her family starts getting murdered as mentioned in the synopsis. This means it takes 28k words just to start the obstacle/dilemma of the story notwithstanding trying to show that noble society looks down on the family.

I want to make clear the above is subjective, there are many readers online who love background and long slow-burn but unfortunately I do not and therefore do not like it.

3. You introduced a lot of characters, showed tender moments, and then let them all die. While it helps establish the background of Titania and why she would be upset or angry, it takes a way from the weight of death in a story. Generally, a lot of stories will try to kill off a major character to show "weight" but killing too many characters takes away the weight of death and often makes the reader go numb. Granted this happens in the beginning where there is a desire to make the reader invest in Titania's background, but there is a major difference between on-screen and off-screen death's.

If it had been told in flashbacks about what she lost (it'd also be shorter) it would avoid the problem of on screen deaths. I suppose in a way, this is also trying to justify to the reader that her killing those who are pursuing her is somehow justified.

-----

All in all, it's good writing, and the fact I was able to read to the last chapter posted should say something.

 

[RainingSky]

Preface this by saying I'm just one reader of many and these are all subjective. I am also different from most readers as what I enjoy is usually niche and specific. I got to chapter 11.

What I like:
1. I think your pacing is very good. You have good prose and very few grammar errors. The only thing is that it's sometimes confusing when you use pronouns like "her and Him" because I think they are used interchangeably in some paragraphs making me think you are translating this from another language but it is still readable.

2. You don't have a lot of useless dialogue, a lot of your scenes have speaking characters who are to the point.

3. You don't have info dump chapters that try to explain a ton through dialogue. The story moves from scene to scene, and characters enter and leave seamlessly.

4. I don't think I can give feedback on the technical aspect of your writing, which is a compliment. Most of your errors can be fixed by good editing or a copy writer.

What I don't like (Very Subjective as I'm not your target audience):

1. I don't like Titania. Her character type annoys me. The story is about her being the villain or the bad guy yet she hasn't done anything quite villainy. The first chapter if I remember correctly has her inheriting her family because her brother was murderous and wants to crush people. After that she starts going to school and the other nobles don't like her in that class. It's so cliche, however because there isn't enough chapters I don't know how Titania is going to change from the tragic event beyond the fact she's currently trying to escape the killers.

2. Introduction of her family is a slow burn. The actual plot doesn't begin until chapter 8 when I think her family starts getting murdered as mentioned in the synopsis. This means it takes 28k words just to start the obstacle/dilemma of the story notwithstanding trying to show that noble society looks down on the family.

I want to make clear the above is subjective, there are many readers online who love background and long slow-burn but unfortunately I do not and therefore do not like it.

3. You introduced a lot of characters, showed tender moments, and then let them all die. While it helps establish the background of Titania and why she would be upset or angry, it takes a way from the weight of death in a story. Generally, a lot of stories will try to kill off a major character to show "weight" but killing too many characters takes away the weight of death and often makes the reader go numb. Granted this happens in the beginning where there is a desire to make the reader invest in Titania's background, but there is a major difference between on-screen and off-screen death's.

If it had been told in flashbacks about what she lost (it'd also be shorter) it would avoid the problem of on screen deaths. I suppose in a way, this is also trying to justify to the reader that her killing those who are pursuing her is somehow justified.

-----

All in all, it's good writing, and the fact I was able to read to the last chapter posted should say something.

Thanks a lot for the feedback, fun fact, you are right on spot with the fact that it is a tad translated since I pre write the chaps in my actual language.

 

[LiteraryWho]

I read up to chapter 6 before giving up. First I want to say that I'm abnormally harsh on what I'm willing to invest my time in and this is also my subjective opinion.

What I like:
1. There is nothing technically wrong with your formatting, paragraph structure or how you write.
2. Grammar is on point, it's easy to read an understand.
3. You seem to give the story a fast pace trying to introduce a lot of characters...
4. You make up "saying" like "I've seen gel move faster than you," which adds a little bit of flavor to the world.

What I didn't like (this is all my personal tastes, doesn't mean it's bad just my personal tastes):
1. So far I don't like Hitori. This is something that's common with a lot of the newer stories. Sure Hitori curses, sure he yells at his team mates, but that doesn't change the fact that he doesn't have an edge to him. He listens to his instructors, there is no moral dilemma with listening to Ms. Athens even if he complains about certain things out in the field while leading his team.

I skipped to chapter 15 to see if Hitori develops at all, like changes his speech, gets hardened etc... and I didn't notice much difference.

Now, before we're properly introduced to any dilemma or even an obstacle that is going to be in the way of Hitori going to the top, his dreams, etc... we're then introduced to a ton of characters in chapter 2 I believe. These are characters that are given dialogue that doesn't really tell us much. We have Cindy arguing with kimi mindy and some other person whose name I forgot, and they're all forgettable at the beginning. When introducing characters, if there isn't an event or an identifying point or even just them standing in the background it feels like a forced interaction that is only there to try and get me to attach.

I could really care less for that kind of intro, and now I've got a whole bunch of names I'm supposed to keep track of before I even get to know Hitori who is supposed to be the main character.

2. Even if you have sayings like "I've seen Gel move faster" there is far too much info dump within dialogue that you're forcing someone like me who isn't invested to try and categorize the information and understand it. The question you have to ask is whether the information is relevant at this part of the story.

I'm talking about the intro. Is all that world building relevant? I mean you're introducing a bunch of school lessons in chapter two... good for world building but I'm not even interested in the world at this point if the characters aren't to my liking or I don't know enough about them.

I mean, if this was a World Driven story rather than a Character Driven story then I would take a different approach but from the very beginning it had been about Hitori and his interaction with others. A World Driven story is also interesting but such stories require a different mindset to enjoy. By different mindset I mean that I wouldn't want to be following a bunch of characters and their likes/dislikes or ideas and lifestyles if the point of the story is how the world interacts.

A world driven story doesn't care as much about the character's personal tastes and ideas as it does about the events that take place. A good example of a world driven story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, the Giver, Brave New world and Atlas Shrugged where the focus is less about the characters and more about what is happening in the world.

I'm just saying... in a character driven story, the investment has to be more with the characters and how relatable they are rather than the world building which should be secondary. It's also difficult to do world building in literature compared to a visual medium like comics when there aren't as many comparable examples, the audience who might be more familiar with the genre you write I would guess read light novels about magical academies and what not.

Either way, I got uninterested and wanted to start skimming at Chapter 2, it's a miracle I made it to 6. Doesn't mean the story is bad, just that it's really not for me and the above is why.

Thanks for the feedback!

Ironically, I would actually consider this a world driven story. I guess my synopsis/structure gives the wrong impression? I mean, I did try to imbue as much "character" into it as I could, but it's definitely more about the things going on in the world (which Hitori is caught up in), than Hitori's journey to become the best, or whatever.

Also ironically, those forgettable characters with Kimi were supposed to be forgotten. That's why we use the names Kimi made up for them on the spot, rather than their real names (which I either never picked, or have since forgotten picking).

Anyway, thanks again for your perspective :D
You've helped me realize I might be making a false promise with my story somewhere (i.e. it looks more character driven than it should). Out of curiosity, is there any particular bit of information you felt wasn't carrying its weight where it was at? I tried to only introduce the bare minimum, but it's hard to balance between what is necessary in a scene, for context, and what is meant to be generally known (for understanding the general "rules" of the world, which the story is ultimately based on).

 

[Anon2024]

Thanks for the feedback!

Ironically, I would actually consider this a world driven story. I guess my synopsis/structure gives the wrong impression? I mean, I did try to imbue as much "character" into it as I could, but it's definitely more about the things going on in the world (which Hitori is caught up in), than Hitori's journey to become the best, or whatever.

Also ironically, those forgettable characters with Kimi were supposed to be forgotten. That's why we use the names Kimi made up for them on the spot, rather than their real names (which I either never picked, or have since forgotten picking).

Anyway, thanks again for your perspective :D
You've helped me realize I might be making a false promise with my story somewhere (i.e. it looks more character driven than it should). Out of curiosity, is there any particular bit of information you felt wasn't carrying its weight where it was at? I tried to only introduce the bare minimum, but it's hard to balance between what is necessary in a scene, for context, and what is meant to be generally known (for understanding the general "rules" of the world, which the story is ultimately based on).

Well the first thing is that you should lose the large amount of dialogue. World Driven stories see character actions as more important, and their motives are more simple unless you're going to introduce a complicated philosophical point. Instead of info-dumping via dialogue, it'd be better to info dump with good prose and diction.

You can still include dialogue to give the characters some 'character' but the majority of the world should be explained with narration. In other words, make good use tell over show and only show things that are actually important. Explaining how the world works with narration and categorize the information at the beginning a little so you don't introduce too much at once.

Remember, this is a written medium, not a comic or movie where what you've written would be fine for a world driven story. The saying a Picture is worth a thousand words applies but I'd also say a moving Picture is worth a million words.

Your goal is to push information into a reader's mind that would get them interested and attach to the story.

The Old Man and the Sea by Earnest Hemingway is a good example of a more "world driven" story in that the narration can give a lot of information about the character by pointing things out while still gaining the reader's attention with prose. The long blocky paragraphs are written in a concise way that lets the reader understand things quickly even if not explicitly stated. It's also short and only 52 pages.

Also, lose the 1st person perspective. 1st Person perspective makes most stories character driven automatically.

 

[LiteraryWho]

mmm, this is some good advice, and I'll definitely have to put Hemingway on my list of "style developing authors" to read. You've also helped me confirm something I suspected about this story, namely, I flew too close to the proverbial sun. There's like, a metric shit ton of things going on in there, but they are all fighting for space. A better writer might have been able to get them to work, but a better writer would also have known better than to try, lol.

Anyway, thanks for actually giving me useful feedback :D, you've got great insight, and I'll make sure to apply it to my future work. I'll also make a point to add Hemingway to my list of "authorial" inspirations.

 

[Anon2024]

A better writer might have been able to get them to work.

Pffftttt HAHAHAHA

No. There is no "better writer" that can get so many things to work all at once for everyone. There are some readers who like that, but readers would prefer to be able to follow a story and invest casually... unless you're a famous author of which they hang on your every word. Stephen King for instance with the Dreamcatcher. You got people who read it because it's Stephen King, but that's a horrible novel that's hard to follow because of all the switching perspectives.

Doesn't matter if he's a good writer... it's terrible.

 

[LiteraryWho]

Pffftttt HAHAHAHA

No.

... I don't get the joke, tbh

 

[Anon2024]

... I don't get the joke, tbh

I edited it.

Generally speaking, there is no such thing as "a better writer can make it work."

 

[LiteraryWho]

I edited it.

Generally speaking, there is no such thing as "a better writer can make it work."

Ah, yeah, I get what you're saying then. There's a maximum threshold of complexity that's just unreasonable. I can't say I disagree (even if I still like the idea of writing overly complicated shit, lol)

edit: (and that's probably explained by stephen king/the dark tower being one of my inspirations as a writer. Better bump that little flaw up on my priority list, lol)

 

[Anon2024]

Ah, yeah, I get what you're saying then. There's a maximum threshold of complexity that's just unreasonable. I can't say I disagree (even if I still like the idea of writing overly complicated shit, lol)

It's mainly how much you introduce at once. The audience needs to have a natural curiosity about it and there has to be a reason for knowing. That sort of sense takes time to develop, I'm not even sure I have that sense down on my own works since the author and reader perspective are very different.

 

[LiteraryWho]

It's mainly how much you introduce at once. The audience needs to have a natural curiosity about it and there has to be a reason for knowing. That sort of sense takes time to develop, I'm not even sure I have that sense down on my own works since the author and reader perspective are very different.

there is that too, but I'm certain <100K is no where near enough time to do what I was going for. Also, I kind of don't like endless epics that seem averse to ever reaching their conclusion. I'll let it slide for LoTR, but most other writers I loose interest when the page count goes over 500.

"the author and reader perspective are very different." And boy aren't they! That's the hardest part of writing for me. I know ten times as much about the story as what's on the page, and I never forget anything

 

[Anon2024]

there is that too, but I'm certain <100K is no where near enough time to do what I was going for. Also, I kind of don't like endless epics that seem averse to ever reaching their conclusion. I'll let it slide for LoTR, but most other writers I loose interest when the page count goes over 500.

"the author and reader perspective are very different." And boy aren't they! That's the hardest part of writing for me. I know ten times as much about the story as what's on the page, and I never forget anything

My advice is set on a goal for a story and introduce it to the reader at the beginning, but don't do like what Pokemon did in making it subjective to where he is going place to place and starting over every single time.

Make it more like One Piece where the goal gets closer every time as you introduce each story arc (if you're writing a web novel) and focus on mini arcs when introducing characters at the present moment. Those usually get the most interest in reader engagement. You're already doing some of that in the story, it's just you bring it all up at once rather than focusing on one thing at a time.

Characters that are important need to be introduced slowly so the reader "gets to know" each one. Throwing too many into the story at once can work for an anime/movie where the viewer can actively see them but most stories will give a brief narrated introduction to some characters in written format because knowing how a character looks in description helps readers attach to them.

Like perhaps one girl has huge breasts that are an identifying mark. A man with a scar... etc. Distinguishing features helps readers tell characters apart beyond just the name.

But yeah... starting out with a huge epic isn't easy. It's best to get control over your story telling and technical elements first before going for something big and long.

 

[LiteraryWho]

My advice is set on a goal for a story and introduce it to the reader at the beginning, but don't do like what Pokemon did in making it subjective to where he is going place to place and starting over every single time.

Make it more like One Piece where the goal gets closer every time as you introduce each story arc (if you're writing a web novel) and focus on mini arcs when introducing characters at the present moment. Those usually get the most interest in reader engagement. You're already doing some of that in the story, it's just you bring it all up at once rather than focusing on one thing at a time.

Characters that are important need to be introduced slowly so the reader "gets to know" each one. Throwing too many into the story at once can work for an anime/movie where the viewer can actively see them but most stories will give a brief narrated introduction to some characters in written format because knowing how a character looks in description helps readers attach to them.

Like perhaps one girl has huge breasts that are an identifying mark. A man with a scar... etc. Distinguishing features helps readers tell characters apart beyond just the name.

But yeah... starting out with a huge epic isn't easy. It's best to get control over your story telling and technical elements first before going for something big and long.

"starting out with a huge epic isn't easy"
I would even go so far as to say it is a mistake. Doubly so if you don't even care for epics in the first place
I just really love world building, and it's hard for me not to go all out, and harder still for me not to try and cram it all into the narrative. I think my biggest mistake for Nova though was wrapping my (overly complicated) world-building into the plot. Like, what you read is the stripped down version that (in theory) just covers what you need to understand what happens later. I'd pretty much have to scrap the whole main plot to salvage the world-building, and, well, nah, lol (better to keep moving forward, imo).

That's okay though, I learned a ton from writing it, and actually have a few more "straightforward" stories under my belt (not that they're good either, lol). I am definitely going to focus more on tight plotting and characters though for my future projects.

Also, you've gotten me intrigued about your work. I get that you're posting anon for a reason (and I suspect I know why), but I'm still terribly curious... <staaaaaaaare>...

Ah, I won't push I hope it's a success :D

 

[Anon2024]

"starting out with a huge epic isn't easy"
I would even go so far as to say it is a mistake. Doubly so if you don't even care for epics in the first place
I just really love world building, and it's hard for me not to go all out, and harder still for me not to try and cram it all into the narrative. I think my biggest mistake for Nova though was wrapping my (overly complicated) world-building into the plot. Like, what you read is the stripped down version that (in theory) just covers what you need to understand what happens later. I'd pretty much have to scrap the whole main plot to salvage the world-building, and, well, nah, lol (better to keep moving forward, imo).

That's okay though, I learned a ton from writing it, and actually have a few more "straightforward" stories under my belt (not that they're good either, lol). I am definitely going to focus more on tight plotting and characters though for my future projects.

Also, you've gotten me intrigued about your work. I get that you're posting anon for a reason (and I suspect I know why), but I'm still terribly curious... <staaaaaaaare>...

Ah, I won't push I hope it's a success :D

It's on Ritoria. Same name as here. It's pretty low effort and I make a lot of the mistakes I harp on people in this thread about, because it's low effort. You can look it up easily.

I'll bring it back here once I'm finished with it because I don't like seeing 1 star ratings when I'm in the middle of writing.
It's more of a "exercise story" than something I'm serious about though. My serious stuff won't be posted under Anon2021.