Writing Cause then effect or effect then cause?

[Keene]

Consider this effect: The man is woken up.
And this cause: A brick is thrown through the man's window.

What's better:

• The mans eyes snapped open (effect) as the brick was thrown through his window (cause).
• The brick smashed through the mans window (cause), waking him with a start (effect).

Are there any writing rules, or rules of thumb you use to determine which order to write in? Does it change depending on the scene?

 

[RepresentingEnvy]

It depends on the writer's style. But I prefer the second example you gave. I would usually prefer that way, too. The exception is when it's a mystery, and you hide the cause. Depending on the scene, it can change, but I generally put the cause first.

 

[Reinaislost]

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The second one. Cause first, and then effect, is the logical order and easier to read than writing effect first, which makes the reader confused. Though sometimes you don't use them to get the desired effect. Plus, use active voice.

 

[RepresentingEnvy]

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Lynette M. Burrows demonstrates how you can create compelling scenes the MRU, a tool from Dwight V. Swain's Techniques of a Selling Writer.

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The second one. Cause first, and then effect, is the logical order and easier to read than writing effect first, which makes the reader confused. Though sometimes you don't use them to get the desired effect,.

Yeah, that's why I put mystery. In mystery a lot of the time you are figuring out the cause.

 

[LilRora]

This is going to depend on the effect you want to achieve. Normally, you would start with the cause, then the effect, because that's the logical order of things, and it's just easier to read. If you want to limit the reader's knowledge though, to improve immersion or achieve some other genre-specific effect (tension or fear for horrors and thrillers, mystery for mysteries, maybe for comedies), then you can do the effect first.

Consider this example:
The man woke with a start, jerking up only to see shards of glass glittering in the air. That's when the sound registered - the deafening shattering of the window and a thunk on the wall, which brought his gaze to the stone that had just left a dent in the wall. [...]

 

[Reinaislost]

Consider this example:
The man woke with a start, jerking up only to see shards of glass glittering in the air. That's when the sound registered - the deafening shattering of the window and a thunk on the wall, which brought his gaze to the stone that had just left a dent in the wall. [...]

You beat me to it!

 

[Keene]

Consider this example:
The man woke with a start, jerking up only to see shards of glass glittering in the air. That's when the sound registered - the deafening shattering of the window and a thunk on the wall, which brought his gaze to the stone that had just left a dent in the wall. [...]

This makes me think that this style of writing would be really effective in a POV battle scene. The effect, an injury or lost limb, is described first and then the characters mental processing of how it happened.

Thinking about it, I'm pretty sure this is how I've seen it done in the countless scenes where our super intelligent protagonist has introduced firearms to the medieval society and they have their first shocking battle. Tyranny of Steel etc.

 

[RepresentingEnvy]

This makes me think that this style of writing would be really effective in a POV battle scene. The effect, an injury or lost limb, is described first and then the characters mental processing of how it happened.

Thinking about it, I'm pretty sure this is how I've seen it done in the countless scenes where our super intelligent protagonist has introduced firearms to the medieval society and they have their first shocking battle. Tyranny of Steel etc.

Can you give an example of a battle scene like this? If it's an action-heavy story, I would not prefer this unless it is a flashback from a side character. The tension in action stories is the battle. There is a real chance that a character can lose a limb, but if we start with the lost limb, it can kill the struggle.

 

[Keene]

Can you give an example of a battle scene like this? If it's an action-heavy story, I would not prefer this unless it is a flashback from a side character. The tension in action stories is the battle. There is a real chance that a character can lose a limb, but if we start with the lost limb, it can kill the struggle.

Tyranny of Steel I think is a good example. If my memory is correct there are multiple times battle scenes are shown from the POV of the attacking medieval army where the writing shows:

Cause: Fist size holes appearing in everyone - dropping down dead, limbs blown off, whistles of bullets flying past.
Mystery: Character trying to infer the cause and how the loud noises (gunfire) are linked to what's happening..
Effect: Character eventually linking the devastation to the smoke coming out of the long tubes carried by the enemy in the distant.

 

[TsumiHokiro]

I have seen battle scenes where the effect comes first as well. It helps to enhance the feeling of Dread, the Unknown, and the Foreboding of inevitable defeat.

Your first example is lacking something to be a real good sentence example, which makes this chick choose your second example in this case. But as has been said before, it's a stylistic choice, ultimately delivering different narrative consequences. As a writer, you should learn to use both C-E and E-C so you can write a real emotive and fulfilling experience for your readers.

 

[Tsuru]

Consider this effect: The man is woken up.
And this cause: A brick is thrown through the man's window.

What's better:

• The mans eyes snapped open (effect) as the brick was thrown through his window (cause).
• The brick smashed through the mans window (cause), waking him with a start (effect).

Are there any writing rules, or rules of thumb you use to determine which order to write in? Does it change depending on the scene?

First one, seems cooler
2nd old, reminds me of good old novels like Harry Potter, this old style of writing that kids would see on the paper novels under the lamp on their bed at night.

And seriously, i would advise the first, but 2nd is also possible. It depends on YOUR NOVEL THEME. If you do a isekai, hence likely young audience, its better to pick (1), if you have like a darker tone detective series, pick (2)

 

[TsumiHokiro]

First one, seems cooler
2nd old, reminds me of good old novels like Harry Potter, this old style of writing that kids would see on the paper novels under the lamp on their bed at night.

And seriously, i would advise the first, but 2nd is also possible. It depends on YOUR NOVEL THEME. If you do a isekai, hence likely young audience, its better to pick (1), if you have like a darker tone detective series, pick (2)

The first one seems like the man has presentience...

A brick is going to crash against my window, I have to act now!

 

[Tsuru]

The first one seems like the man has presentience...

A brick is going to crash against my window, I have to act now!

LOOOOL

Now you say that, i can't unsee it. xD

 

[BlackKnightX]

Try imagining the scene in your head. In the first sentence, I see the man's eyes snap open first and then the brick being thrown through the window next. Which is very weird.

Now, I'm quite used to this kind of writing—it's very common in lots of fanfics and web novels—so I can do a bit of mental gymnastic and make it make sense in my head, but wouldn't it be better to do it well from the start? As patient as I am, too much of this and I'll be really annoyed.

The second one is good but not perfect.

If I have to write this scene, though, I would do it like this:

The sound of glass shattering startled the man awake. He rubbed his eyes and squinted through the darkness of his bedroom. The streetlight from the outside down below cast a bit of illumination, enough for him to see what had happened. His windowpane was shattered, leaving only the jagged pieces along the edges. And a few paces from it lied a brick.

Something like that. What I want you to focus on is not in the descriptions or the details but how everything is perceived from the man's perspective. Of course, if a brick is being thrown into his room and wakes him up, he needs to hear it first, right? But his mind would be groggy from sleep, so he wouldn't notice things right away. The room will most likely be dark because he's asleep, so it's most likely nighttime. So either he turns on the light or we give a bit of illumination just enough for him to see what's going on. And so on.

This feels more immersive and intuitive. For me, at least.

 

[ReadLight]

Consider this effect: The man is woken up.
And this cause: A brick is thrown through the man's window.

What's better:

• The mans eyes snapped open (effect) as the brick was thrown through his window (cause).
• The brick smashed through the mans window (cause), waking him with a start (effect).

Are there any writing rules, or rules of thumb you use to determine which order to write in? Does it change depending on the scene?

Personally, the effect-first-cause-second sentence, almost sounded like the man woke up at the same moment the brick was yeeted inside, instead of slightly after. As a result, it felt almost as if the man had predicted that a brick was about to be thrown through his window, and woke up to see that he had predicted right.

In that sense, I think first cause, then effect sounds better. It's more straightforward, and thus more clear.

Personally, the effect-first-cause-second sentence, almost sounded like the man woke up at the same moment the brick was yeeted inside, instead of slightly after. As a result, it felt almost as if the man had predicted that a brick was about to be thrown through his window, and woke up to see that he had predicted right.

In that sense, I think first cause, then effect sounds better. It's more straightforward, and thus more clear.

*clearer

 

[OokamiKasumi]

Consider this effect: The man is woken up.
And this cause: A brick is thrown through the man's window.

What's better:

• The mans eyes snapped open (effect) as the brick was thrown through his window (cause).
• The brick smashed through the mans window (cause), waking him with a start (effect).

Are there any writing rules, or rules of thumb you use to determine which order to write in? Does it change depending on the scene?

Your Journalistic/Essay/Report writing is showing:

• The mans eyes snapped open (effect) as the brick was thrown through his window (cause).

When writing an Essay, or reading a Report in the News, What Happened is the first thing that gets mentioned because What Happened is the most Important part of the report.

• A man was awakened in the middle of the night!

HOW it Happened is secondary and what fills in the meat of the Report.

• A brick was thrown through the window.

The final paragraph of an Essay, or closing remarks in a Report addresses WHY this Report is important to the readers or listeners.

• Brick-thrower still at large! YOU could be next!

THIS is how we are all taught to write in school because Essay Writing is how one writes for Newspapers, Magazines, Businesses, and College classes.

Remember: School is to prepare you for Work at a Business or for attending College -- not for a career as an Author.

This is also how one generally Tells a Story orally to one's friends and neighbors.

• "Joe totally flopped that pass in last weeks football game! This is how it happened..."

Fairy tales are also told in this way because fairy tales were originally Spoken NOT Written. They were Oral Tales. They were written the way the collectors, (the Brothers' Grimm,) were Told them.

• Once upon a time there was a boy who knew no fear.

THIS is NOT how one Writes fiction.

The #1 Most Common cause of Confusion in Action sequences...?
Putting the Reaction [Effect]
BEFORE the Action [Cause]. ​

ACTION Sequences = Chronological Order

Chronological Order --the order in which things actually happen-- is the ONLY way to write an Action Scene that won't confuse your readers. If you visualize the characters doing something in a specific order, write it in THAT order.

• The flash of pain exploded in my cheek from the slap her hand lashed out at me.
• -- WRONG!

Why is this wrong?
-- If you were watching this scene as a movie, that sentence is NOT how you would have seen it happen.

Actual Sequence of events:
1) Her hand lashed out in a slap. [Cause]
2) A flash of pain exploded in her cheek [Effect]

WHY is this Important?

Stories = Mental Movies

The reader always Imagines what you Write in the exact order they Read it. ​

If you write the sequence of events Backwards -- how reports and essays are written-- the reader has to re-read that whole line, or paragraph, or page all over again to correct their Mental-Movie and Re-Imagine what's going on in the Correct Order of Events.

If the Reader is forced to do this too much, they will drop your story to go find one easier to Imagine.

NEVER FORGET: Readers read stories for Pleasure, Enjoyment, and Entertainment. If you make it hard for your Readers to Imagine what you've written, why should they bother reading it? (I certainly wouldn't.)


Wanna know more?

[Tutorial] Writing ACTION 1: The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work​

[Tutorial] Writing ACTION 2: The Plug & Play Method ​