Does this magic system work/make sense?

[ElijahRyne]

The goal of the system is to explain how different planes, their power systems, and the universe more broadly works, using a more alchemical foundation. The simplified magic system contains what will exist on the plane the story starts on, and the advanced is the more detailed explanation.

Spoiler: Simplified

Simplified Power system.
Meditation: A myriad of techniques that increases the concentration of a particular magic energy in the body.

Knight breathing techniques: A body strengthening technique that allows its practitioners to innately cast spells. Each level is demarcated by the learning of a spell.

Wizardry & Alchemy: A more obscure power system. Practitioners practice rituals and magic circles that influence the world.

Curse/Blessing: The use of rituals to cast curses and blessings.

Psionics: The manipulation of the soul with the mind.

Magic formation: Using the soul guided in lines to transfer and transform magic energies.

Soul binding: The process of binding objects, souls, and concepts with the soul.

Spoiler: Advanced

Magic system advanced:

There are three prime essences that constitute everything: Mind, Body, and Soul. These three primes constitute the one, and at their extremes can become the other. They are represented by these three energies Void, Aether, and Quintessence. These three energies constitute everything.

Aether: The application of the essence of the body as an energy. It inherently tries to collapse in on itself. -><-
Condense: Allows the condensation and concentration of a certain subject.
Crystallize: Allows the crystallization of the mind and soul.

Void: The application of the essence of the mind as an energy. It inherently tries to expand itself. <—>
Expand: Allows the expansion and growth of a subject.
Dissipates: Allows for the dissipation of magic energies into Void and Aether.

Quintessence: The application of the essence of the soul as an energy. It inherently tries to bind and transform.
Bind: Binds to Void and Aether.
Inert: Once bound it becomes stable.
Transform: Allows for the transformation of mind and body.

Magic Energies: Magic energies are the mixture of Quintessence, Void, and Aether into a unique and mostly stable substance.Represented with letters by the order and amount of each energy. Æ Q V and/or the symbols of another energy. I.E. Matter = 2ÆVQ = M

Matter(body): Aether bound to itself + void and quintessence. 2ÆVQ
Acts like matter.

Soul: Quintessence bound to itself + void and Aether 2QVÆ.
Bind: Allows for the binding of magic energies both to each other and to itself.
Perceive: Souls can perceive their surroundings.
Move: Souls can move & fold in on itself by consuming magic energies.
Transfer: Souls can transfer magic energies through itself.
Store: Souls can store magic energies in themselves.
Transform: Souls can transform magic energies into other magic energies.
Purification: Souls can purify magic energies.

Space(mind): Void bound to itself + quintessence and Aether. 2VQÆ
Acts like space.

Time (mind): Void bound to itself + Aether and quintessence. 2VÆQ
Acts like time.

Planar energy: Aether + Quintessence + Void. ÆQV
Allows for the creation of planes.

Etc.

The Void Sea: The name for the space in between planes. Also the name of the universe.

Planes: A plane is a space created by the balancing of Aether, quintessence, and void. They have a planer shell primarily made of Aether. An internal space primarily made of void, and worlds primarily made of quintessence. All of this is tied together by planar energy. Each plane has different concentrations of magic energies and can have different fundamental laws. Although the three primes will always exist in some form.


Meditation- Using the mind to store a certain magic energy in the body and soul. Doing so by creating a magic formation in the mind. It is an application of psionics.

Knight breathing techniques: The use of the lungs to integrate magic energies into the body. Influencing the soul then the mind. The body will mold the soul to allow for the casting of a spell. The mind will solidify and coordinate this process. Æ->Q->V

Wizardry/Alchemy: The study of the planes by using magic formations, soul binding, and rituals. Their goal is to create a perfect magic system using research and experimentation. Alchemy focuses on the transformation of energies, while wizardry focuses on their application. V=Q=Æ

Curses/Blessings: Using a ritual to call out to a more abstract entity to curse or bless someone or something.

Psionics: Using the mind to influence the soul and then the body. V->Q->Æ

Soul binding: Using the properties of the soul to influence the body and mind. Allowing one to bind objects, souls, and concepts together and with one’s self. V< Q>Æ

Magic formations: Using the Soul to guide and transform Magic energies, to create complex results. You do so by encircling something then using 1 or more lines to guide it into something else. An application of soul binding.

Note that I didn’t specify the magic energies used in the story. This is because I have yet to figure out if I want the magic system I am working on to be more elemental, eldritch, or specialized at the moment. But here is an example of a ritual using this system, if you are interested.

Spoiler: Example Ritual

Example Ritual for the creation of a coerced contract and seal for astral and ethereal entities.
Required:
The name of the form of the target written on paper. (i.e. an Ice Spirit of a frost plane.) The more specific the better.
Knowledge on how to strip/infuse your soul into objects.
Shaping material (Materials like string, clay, wire, etc.)
A sensory organ of a living creature (Eye, tongue, whiskers, etc.)
A jar of your blood, or yellow bile. The jar must be able to contain the sensory organ as well.
An object representing the body/Æther, like salt.
An object representing the soul/quintessence, like mercury.
An object representing the mind/void, like sulfur.
A piece of quartz or quartzite with a weight of ~2 pounds, or 1 kilogram. This will represent earth.
A lit kerosene lamp with an exposed flame.
Copper wire or filament.
Scissors (optional)
A brush (optional)
Blindfold (optional)
Soak the sensory organ in the jar of blood or bile for a lunar month. Make sure that the blood/bile stays liquid throughout the soaking process.
Before the ritual, mark the quartz/quartzite with the alchemical symbol of earth using your blood.
Before the ritual, mark the kerosene lamp with the alchemical symbol of fire using your blood.
Before the ritual make sure that the copper wire is touching the flame of the kerosene lamp, and that the flame is green.
Ritual:

1. Strip/infuse a piece of your soul into a malleable object like string.
2. Use the object to create a perimeter. This perimeter will be used to encompass all ritual materials, the entrapment area, and the target for contract. Make sure that these can fit in your perimeter and that there are no gaps. For the basic alchemical rituals we will use either a triangle or a circle for the outer perimeter in this ritual. Triangles are very sturdy, but they are inefficient for the purpose of maximizing area and minimizing perimeter. The circle however is the best at maximizing area and minimizing perimeter, but it has the least stability making it easier to destroy by the target entity.
3. Enclose a perimeter inside the original one, there can be no gaps. The perimeter must be large enough to contain the target. If the outer perimeter is a triangle use a circle and vice versa, this is to ensure stability. (There are cases in intermediate and advanced rituals that will use two or more triangles, but remember never to use circles concurrently in containment rituals.) If you are attempting to contract a planer will, or something similar, this ritual will not work for you unless you can contain the entire said plane inside the area. Make sure that the sides of both perimeters touch and are connected. If you are using string, or something similar, make sure to tie the places of contact together. This will allow the striped/infused soul in the strings to transfer the energies of the ritual materials, as well as supporting and unifying the two containment perimeters due to the sympathetic principle.
4. There should now be three independent areas in between the outer and inner perimeter. You should place your Aether, Void, and Quintessence materials in these sections.
5. Then enclose them with a square using your soul split/infused materials. If needed, use that material to create a line connected to the outer perimeter, if needed tie the material to the perimeter.
6. Place the quartz/quartzite and kerosene lamp with the attached copper wire/filament in the center of the inner perimeter.
7. Enclose the two objects in a circle/square, depending on the shape of the inner perimeter, using the split/infused material and use a line to connect them. The center of the inner perimeter must be the center of that line, with an error of margin of 6 millimeters.
8. Encase/wrap the sensory organ in the split/infused material and use that material to connect both you and the outer perimeter. (I.E. a string tied to your finger is tied and knotted to an eyeball, that you can hold in your hand, and tied and knotted to the outer perimeter)
9. Place the written description of the target on the flame of the kerosene lamp. Making sure not to disturb the placement of anything.
10. Exit the inner and outer perimeter before the written description burns.
11. The flame of the kerosene lamp should change color, and the target should appear above the flame of the kerosene lamp.
12. You should be able to feel connected to the target and the ritual objects.
13. Use the sensory organ to perceive the true name/form of the target.
14. Say/describe that name/form and threaten to give that name/form to one of the target's enemies, a god of death, or something more generally frightening, if the target does not swear on their true name/form to agree to a contract to you.
15. If the target agrees, create an oral contract and the target will repeat after you and swear to follow that contract by their true name/form. The target will then be tethered to the quartz/quartzite. You can crush it to return the target early. When the contract is completed the quartz/quartzite will naturally break and the target will return back to where it came from.
16. If they refuse, connect the target to the Void material. The material should light with green ethereal flames. The void essence in that material will begin to attempt to dissolve the target. Call out to the target and attempt to repeat step 14 & 15.
17. If this doesn’t work, connect to the Aether material and repeat step 16.
18. If this doesn’t work connect to the Quintessence material and repeat step 16.
19. If this doesn’t work, disconnect yourself from the outer perimeter. If you used string as your split/infused material use scissors to cut it. Make sure however not to disturb the outer perimeter. The quartz/quartzite will break and the target will return.
20. If the target escapes confinement, destroy the sensory organ or be prepared to confront the target in a battle for your body. If you fail they will posses your body, and your soul will probably die.

 

[Bobple]

Just from giving it a quick pass. It does seem to make sense. So yeah

 

[SailusGebel]

No.

 

[NotaNuffian]

... Bruh, two things come into my mind when I read the knight's breathing technique, one is that this feels very formula-like and two, what does knight's breathing technique has to do with spell casting? Leaving it as a body strengthening technique is good enough and sure, maybe you want to give the user some extra benefit like increased strength or breathe fire, just put it under as innate traits gained, not spells.

Reading the complex version felt like reading something too similar in xianxia. Cultivators that are split into two groups and knight's breathing belongs in the martial cultivators where they cultivate their bodies for inner changes that slowly radiates outwards.

Point is, complexing a simple formula done in the literary world for your own work is fine, but please take note of the braindead readers like me who feel like I am reading another long winded manual.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

No.

Ditto.
Magic systems must serve a purpose. What purpose does this serve?

My magic system's purpose is to push the theme of memes, magic, and life are one and the same and that clarity is the enemy of creativity. In the end, strength of will and life experience wins.

 

[TotallyHuman]

Sure
Similar to my default template, though I keep the things more vague the more magical things get because I believe magic should be supernatural, thus unexplorable and impossible to quantify, describe or understand

 

[ElijahRyne]

Ditto.
Magic systems must serve a purpose. What purpose does this serve?

My magic system's purpose is to push the theme of memes, magic, and life are one and the same and that clarity is the enemy of creativity. In the end, strength of will and life experience wins.

This is the foundation for planar travel. If in one plane mana didn’t exist, then the people using mana would be screwed if they didn’t no how to make it. Same with any magic system you can think of. The point of this is to serve as a framework/way to understand different systems in different planes. It also keeps formations and spells simple while removing the a lot of the hand waving.

So let’s say you are a space mage. The majority of your strength comes from using mana to manipulate space. You travel to a plane similar to our universe. You have no Mana (3V2QÆ) but you have tons of space (2VQÆ), and Planar energy (ÆQV). You can then create your Mana by building a formation that will invert Planar energy (VQÆ) remove the aether and add the space.

This is also useful for building said magic formations. If you wish to create a magic dome to protect a city from artillery. You can create a circular perimeter with your soul infused medium, bind the concept of a dome and protection, add a stone from each end of your diameter, add salt since you are trying to protect the body, and set up your fuel which let’s keep it simple and say mana. Boom you have yourself a simple dome of physical protection.

... Bruh, two things come into my mind when I read the knight's breathing technique, one is that this feels very formula-like and two, what does knight's breathing technique has to do with spell casting? Leaving it as a body strengthening technique is good enough and sure, maybe you want to give the user some extra benefit like increased strength or breathe fire, just put it under as innate traits gained, not spells.

Reading the complex version felt like reading something too similar in xianxia. Cultivators that are split into two groups and knight's breathing belongs in the martial cultivators where they cultivate their bodies for inner changes that slowly radiates outwards.

Point is, complexing a simple formula done in the literary world for your own work is fine, but please take note of the braindead readers like me who feel like I am reading another long winded manual.

What else would you call a body strengthening technique thats goal is to infuse a spells into the practitioners soul? Meditation is already something else, and a body strengthening technique implies something more like a warrior. As for what the spells purpose is, can you really say that a group of Knights can take on a group of wizards without some form of more magical protection? Moving fast with your body alone can only get you so far, and monster bloodline stuff makes absolutely no sense.

As for the complex part, knights and wizards are not the only power systems it was made to cover, I just thought it would be a good starting point. It is made for explaining power systems through a more alchemical lens. A knight goes Q->Æ->V but a purely physical cultivator would go Æ<Q>V, a psychic would be Q=V>Æ, etc. And this is just keeping it simple, a fire mage might be V>(fire element formula)>Æ>Q. What is the point to knowing this? It makes building spell formations that target a specific type pretty easy and/or gives a easy way to understand how to defeat your opponent. Since a psychic is low on Aether, or has a weak body, then you use more physical spells or attacks while preparing more metaphysical defenses.

Also, I quite doubt that an average reader needs to understand all the minutiae of the advanced part to follow along. All they need to know is that Quintessence/Soul, Aether/Body, and Void/Mind make up everything and create magic energies. A formation is made by manipulating these energies with the soul, and magic is cast by manipulating those energies. The rest is a framework to view magic.

 

[miyoga]

I agree with what's been said about meditation and breathing techniques being 2 sides of the same coin. Even in your description of meditation and how that system works, you've allowed the possibility of "knight's breathing technique" to be included through the use of the phrase "...a myriad of techniques." I'm not against a new style of magic being introduced, but the separation of these are overlapping in that meditation could be used to enhance either the body or the mind. Both in a fantastical setting and in the real world. Sure, the addition of alchemic transmutations and formulae make things more interesting, but the point becomes the same for what you've described. Also, for knights, a lot of the mind-sharpening abilities (even as a spell) could be a huge boost in battle. If there was some clearer distinction between your thoughts on mind and body related magics, that might solve what Nuffian and I are seeing as a conflict.

 

[Placeholder]

> Does this magic system work/make sense?

I think it does. I'd change some names, psionics to soul-magic, and soul-binding to binding-magic.

I would maybe merge stuff.

I think in many cases it's better to increase a sense of mystery or wonder in such a way that pushes the story or mood along, compared to data-dumping the mechanics of the magical system. Think Tolkein or Le Guin.

It's reasonable to work out a magical system. The issue is more, how much do you expose of the mechanics to the reader, and when does it increase or decrease the reader's engagement with the story, the setting, and the characters?

Readers will often just roll with it, and you're fine as long as you don't violate self-constitency in your magical system without having an onlooker freaking out in the scene.

 

[Syringe]

It's complex, but good. The equation stuff is especially nice and really reinforces that magic is an important discipline in your fantasy world, kind of like how we view science/physics with all the interactions. I won't lie, it took me a couple times combing through (cause I'm also brain dead), so it'll probably be a good idea to make it accessible for the layman (i.e, avoid massive info dumps).

I haven't seen a world/story that used magical equations like this or treated it like a magical science, so I'm looking forward to it!

 

[Potato41]

It is complex and feels like a real part of your world... but do keep in mind that it might turn off readers who just want a simple plot and don't want to think too much while reading the stories.

I think you should slowly introduce the system in bits and pieces, not info-dump them all at once.

 

[Holder-of-the-metal-bat]

Seems quite complete. Just make sure to present it bit by bit to the reader, through bits and pieces of the story, and not in one or two chapters. Otherwise, like the others said, it will feel just like reading a manual, and the reader will lose this sensation of mystery there is in seeing magic being used.

You may want to limit your characters as well, so that they are unable to understand everything from the start, or unable to use certain forms of energy. Otherwise nothing would stop them from becoming OP in a few chapters. Also, I find the meditation and breathing techniques are good ideas. Maybe create some other techniques for the other forms of energy so that people have to find them, train in them, and all in all struggle a bit before understanding how your world works.

Otherwise, ... Uhm... I guess it's pretty cool !