Doravg's free feedback thread (Closed to catch up with all the requests)

[doravg]

I am in need of something to listen to while playing Civilization V, so I offer this thread. I can't promise I will be fast, but I would want to read most of the story, before I leave a review on it, not on this thread, with a rating. As someone who has more than 90 stories under her belt, I think I can give a couple of insights as well. That said, I have a lot to learn about the writing craft as well, so I hope that your story can give me fresh ideas, and help me relax after my writing session. Every story is welcome. I feel like broadening my palate.
I could also give a comment or two, and definitely a heart for every chapter I listen to. With this thread, I want to see the writing soul of the Scribble Hub population.
Happy writing, everyone!
(No, I don't want for you to read my stories in return. Don't sweat it.)
Currently, reading:
Divine Puppets 23/23- Review given.
Mythos: My Supernatural Hunting Manual- 1/1- Constructive feedback given. Will wait for at least 10 chapters before the review. 2/10
For Want of a House- next in line. 55/55
Gemstone Princess: The Rise of Amalia- 12/12 Review given.
A Merc’s Guide to Mercing Review given.
Anna’s Dream Rating and opinion given.
Infinity in the Void – Freedom in the Abyss Review given.
Kyouhana: Transmigrated into the Worst Book and Became the Dark Lord’s Bride
The Crazy Daughter of the Duke’s Family

 

[SailusGebel]

 

[doravg]

Funny thing, this is not my first feedback thread. But this time I won't rush the process. It won't be fair if I read only 10k words.

 

[SailusGebel]

Funny thing, this is not my first feedback thread.

I know.

 

[MintiLime]

I volunteer myself as tribute! https://www.scribblehub.com/series/796071/divine-puppets/

 

[doravg]

I volunteer myself as tribute! https://www.scribblehub.com/series/796071/divine-puppets/

Thank you! Now I can build the Pyramids before Egypt! (I know the PC can't find it as trolling, but I know that it is trolling.)

I volunteer myself as tribute! https://www.scribblehub.com/series/796071/divine-puppets/

Gave you the hearts, and now I am waiting for the mp3 conversion. I can listen to the chapters today. Happy writing, @MintiLime!

 

[dummycake]

Is it okay if it's only one chapter...

 

[HelloHound]

For Want of A House

Waking up is always a difficult part of anyone's day- it's even worse if you wake up inside some squalid room to spit out mysterious black cubes in a land you are not familiar with. Now imagine what Sybil's going through. Watch this short and tempered child grow, seeking a...

www.scribblehub.com

my story is an acquired taste but I appreciate any constructive feedback offered

 

[doravg]

Is it okay if it's only one chapter...

Sure, bring it on. You are going to have to wait a little bit, but I can check it out today.

 

[melchi]

Can confirm dora comments are best comments.

 

[dummycake]

Sure, bring it on. You are going to have to wait a little bit, but I can check it out today.

Here:

Mythos: My Supernatural Hunting Manual [HIATUS]

With her new abilities, Sarah initially tried to become a superhero, just like the ones she admired in the comics. However, she quickly realized that her city didn't need heroes. There wasn't crime lurking in every dark corner; the country was peaceful, right? Beneath the facade of the peaceful...

www.scribblehub.com

I'm changing the images a lot in the first chapter (specially the last one), so don't pay much attention now
Also the story really starts in the end of the chapter... ._.

 

[doravg]

I volunteer myself as tribute! https://www.scribblehub.com/series/796071/divine-puppets/

I read all of your chapters, and gave you the review. I gave you 5 stars because I will give everyone a 5 star. But you should really work on the points I mentioned in the review. I made similar mistakes when I started out, but my readers set me straight. I hope you don't take my review the wrong way. Happy writing!

 

[MintiLime]

I read all of your chapters, and gave you the review. I gave you 5 stars because I will give everyone a 5 star. But you should really work on the points I mentioned in the review. I made similar mistakes when I started out, but my readers set me straight. I hope you don't take my review the wrong way. Happy writing!

I’m not seeing the review- I do see the star rating. And don’t worry about me taking the review wrong, I’m quite aware that as a newbie, I will inevitably make rookie mistakes! Out of curiosity, what would be your actual star review?

 

[doravg]

I’m not seeing the review- I do see the star rating. And don’t worry about me taking the review wrong, I’m quite aware that as a newbie, I will inevitably make rookie mistakes! Out of curiosity, what would be your actual star review?

3, as in the lore, is read worthy, but the characters are forgettable. Sorry. Go to Statistics. It is there.

 

[MintiLime]

3, as in the lore, is read worthy, but the characters are forgettable. Sorry.

Lol that’s actually better than I had feared! No need to say sorry :) I’m just excited you said read worthy

 

[SummerSweetTea]

Gemstone Princess: The Rise of Amalia

Gemstone Princess: The Rise of Amalia is a magical adventure that takes Amalia from the non-magical world of Elca to the magical Lita. When a dark curse crosses the boundaries between worlds and impacts Amalia's village, she learns that the curse is looking for her. The only way to stop...

www.scribblehub.com

I've made a few adjustments based on some feedback I got before. I shortened the chapters to be better suited for reading on a phone.

 

[MintiLime]

Lol that’s actually better than I had feared! No need to say sorry :) I’m just excited you said read worthy

I just saw the review! Oh my goodness you were so kind???? Like honestly, thank you for the feedback and for pointing out the strength and weaknesses.

Going forward I am going to try to flesh out the characters a lot more, with motivations of characters and stuff revealed. I’ve been trying not to give too much away in the early chapters but I think I might have made the breadcrumbs too small lol.

I’m hoping to improve my writing as I progress, and that after I complete this version I can go back and rewrite, correcting these mistakes.

Would you be alright if I ping you in about a year or two when I get there?

 

[doravg]

I just saw the review! Oh my goodness you were so kind???? Like honestly, thank you for the feedback and for pointing out the strength and weaknesses.

Going forward I am going to try to flesh out the characters a lot more, with motivations of characters and stuff revealed. I’ve been trying not to give too much away in the early chapters but I think I might have made the breadcrumbs too small lol.

I’m hoping to improve my writing as I progress, and that after I complete this version I can go back and rewrite, correcting these mistakes.

Would you be alright if I ping you in about a year or two when I get there?

sure

 

[Slays_The_Crusader]

I am in need of something to listen to while playing Civilization V, so I offer this thread. I can't promise I will be fast, but I would want to read most of the story, before I leave a review on it, not on this thread, with a rating. As someone who has more than 90 stories under her belt, I think I can give a couple of insights as well. That said, I have a lot to learn about the writing craft as well, so I hope that your story can give me fresh ideas, and help me relax after my writing session. Every story is welcome. I feel like broadening my palate.
I could also give a comment or two, and definitely a heart for every chapter I listen to. With this thread, I want to see the writing soul of the Scribble Hub population.
Happy writing, everyone!
(No, I don't want for you to read my stories in return. Don't sweat it.)
Currently, reading:
Divine Puppets 23/23- Review given.
Mythos: My Supernatural Hunting Manual- 1/1- Constructive feedback given. Will wait for at least 10 chapters before the review. 2/10
For Want of a House- next in line. 20/54

A Merc’s Guide to Mercing

Ah, being a Mercenary, it's like being a soldier except more fun, and you don't have to care about silly things like 'not blowing up a children's hospital' Follow a team of ten totally unprofessional soldiers of fortune as people throw money at them to solve tasks that range from...

www.scribblehub.com

Here it is, don't hold back.

 

[doravg]

For Want of A House

Waking up is always a difficult part of anyone's day- it's even worse if you wake up inside some squalid room to spit out mysterious black cubes in a land you are not familiar with. Now imagine what Sybil's going through. Watch this short and tempered child grow, seeking a...

www.scribblehub.com

my story is an acquired taste but I appreciate any constructive feedback offered

Done, you can check the review when you want. Your story was very hard for me to read, but not because of the grammar or style. You have them down pat. Because of the child abuse and bullying. It reminded me of my own childhood, and not in a good way. Still, your latest chapters see things look up for Sybil, so I will read the next chapter, when you update. Happy writing, @HelloHound