Feedback for an idea

[HabitualChaos]

Hi there,

I would kind of like to get feedback on an idea to see if it helps me.

I want to write a story, but I'm more comfortable with fanfiction. However, I'm worried the theme may be too unconventional. (Not wish fulfillment)

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In the realm of valor and justice, there stood Leon Ashbourne, a paladin of unwavering courage that vowed to protect everyone. But when fate dealt him a devastating blow, witnessing his beloved family - wife and daughter - perish before his very eyes, he was left adrift in a sea of despair and emptiness.

Yet, amidst the darkness that threatened to consume him, a glimmer of hope emerged - the pursuit of evildoers, a chance to bring vengeance to those who wrought pain upon the innocent. In a world that had taken everything from him, this became his sole escape and new vow, the oath of vengeance.

Upon his death, he hopes to reunite with his family but discovers himself in a new world where noble souls dwell and find rest - Elysium. Only heroes recognized by the universe have that opportunity. For Leon, this was anything but an honor. The rest and meeting with his family had not come.

However, there he finds an opportunity to save his wife and daughter: Answer the calls of the heroes. Where different worlds call for heroes when they need their services.

By becoming stronger, he could then reach a level where he could save his family. However, each world Leon finds himself challenged with his own fears and misconceptions and enemies that seem much bigger than he expected.

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Sound interesting?
I rewrote it a few times; I had some ideas like having the character being an Isekai of a common human (Cliche, but always interesting haha).
I went back because I believe it avoids the emotional baggage of Leon's past.

The worlds I thought about using are the ready ones, so it would be a fanfiction, but I don't know if it's attractive.

I'm really in doubt and was thinking of stopping writing about, so I'm really in need of feedback.

English is not my first language, sorry if is a bit off.

Thanks in advance

 

[K5Rakitan]

It doesn't sound like there will be enough sex.

 

[Temple]

What's unconventional about it? Unconventional in the sense that it's not conventional for SH? Because like in general, I don't see anything unconventional with it.

 

[HabitualChaos]

What's unconventional about it? Unconventional in the sense that it's not conventional for SH? Because like in general, I don't see anything unconventional with it.

Generally, the fanfics are more about wish fulfillment

 

[melchi]

What's unconventional about it? Unconventional in the sense that it's not conventional for SH? Because like in general, I don't see anything unconventional with it.

I agree with Temple, It sounds like [tragic hero] + [power fantasy] that is not all that uncommon.

 

[Tempokai]

Sounds good, like the Dimensional Mercenary, but with emotional baggage and whatever. But it being a fanfic (world hopping at that) isn't my cup of tea. I'd chose using original worlds. You do you.

 

[Deleted member 113259]

I want to write a story, but I'm more comfortable with fanfiction.

Don't write fanfiction. If you have an idea, build your own world for it. That way you don't have to cross reference your series with another series to make sure everything is accurate.

 

[J_Chemist]

There are enough books out there by now that I can guarantee you this isn't a unique idea. The point is to take your own spin on it and have your own fun with the idea. I would say make it a original and not a fanfic. Build your own world, your own characters, your own story. You've got the foundation for it already.

But, it's stale. The background story is overdone so much that you're not cooking meat, you're cooking rubber and charcoal. The summoning of heroes to different worlds is a nice twist but sounds like it'll turn into a "Monster of the Week" deal where all you're doing is bouncing from world to world, monster to monster, enemy to enemy, feeding the reader just a bunch of different places and faces where the MC goes to fight. The only difference is that they'll progressively get bigger and badder. It's boring and repetitive. Your underlying plot won't be good enough to carry that staleness, I guarantee that.

Do you though. Write what you want to write and someone, somewhere, will probably read and enjoy it.