I need feedbeck for my story!

[Ankh]

Hi, I'm a new Author, and published my first work. This is more a test to see if I can make a name for my self. I would really appreciate critique and advice, as well as a bit of support, making friend with some fellow and grow together.
My novel is : https://www.scribblehub.com/series/712379/unlocked/
Is gonna be a really short novel, and if everything goes well, i'm gonna start my other novel with martial art and action.
Ps: they may be error since my first language is not English

 

[Omnifarious]

Hi, I'm a new Author, and published my first work. This is more a test to see if I can make a name for my self. I would really appreciate critique and advice, as well as a bit of support, making friend with some fellow and grow together.
My novel is : Little star
Is gonna be a really short novel, and if everything goes well, i'm gonna start my other novel with martial art and action.
Ps: they may be error since my first language is not English

Please link

 

[mitkopom]

Welcome aboard and good luck!

 

[Ankh]

Please link

Unlocked

Whisper in the dark, teenagers with strange ability, an evil sect at school and mysterious howl in the forest... Seem pretty funny, right? After escaping her traumatic past, Rose and Mr. Howard tried move to another city, wanting nothing more than to start a new peaceful life. But a more...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[LunaSoltaer]

Alright, so your concept is relatively interesting i will give it that.

And I noticed your chapter 2 is much, MUCH improved from your Chapter 1 so congrats on that and honestly that's going to be what ends up saving you.

Because honestly, your Chapter 1 has a looot of weird paragraph breaks in the middle of sentences that dont make sense.

Based on how you handled Chapter 2, I think I can suffice it to say: Proof your Chapter 1 again. Edit it so that it doesn't paragraph break in the middle of a sentence and cause your reader to wonder who the hell ate the words out of the page.

This isn't me saying give up. I ACTUALLY LIKE YOUR PIECE SO FAR. But that first chapter is in desperate need of medical attention and please please triage it.

Your future readers will thank you for it :)

 

[Ankh]

Alright, so your concept is relatively interesting i will give it that.

And I noticed your chapter 2 is much, MUCH improved from your Chapter 1 so congrats on that and honestly that's going to be what ends up saving you.

Because honestly, your Chapter 1 has a looot of weird paragraph breaks in the middle of sentences that dont make sense.

Based on how you handled Chapter 2, I think I can suffice it to say: Proof your Chapter 1 again. Edit it so that it doesn't paragraph break in the middle of a sentence and cause your reader to wonder who the hell ate the words out of the page.

This isn't me saying give up. I ACTUALLY LIKE YOUR PIECE SO FAR. But that first chapter is in desperate need of medical attention and please please triage it.

Your future readers will thank you for it :)

Thank you so much for the advice, you are right, the first chapter need some serious correction!
But how can I edit my chapter? I don't see any method for editing

 

[avaseofpeonies]

Thank you so much for the advice, you are right, the first chapter need some serious correction!
But how can I edit my chapter? I don't see any method for editing

Go to your dashboard, click either edit or stats under your story (they both go more or less the same place), click table of contents, click the ... on the right of your chapter, choose edit

 

[Ankh]

Go to your dashboard, click either edit or stats under your story (they both go more or less the same place), click table of contents, click the ... on the right of your chapter, choose edit

Thanks you!

 

[avaseofpeonies]

Thanks you!

No problem, and welcome to SH!

 

[Ankh]

No problem, and welcome to SH!

Sorry to disturb you, but do you know I to delete a thread?

 

[avaseofpeonies]

Sorry to disturb you, but do you know I to delete a thread?

I don't believe that's possible, but if there's a problem with your thread, I think you can report it to the mods and ask them about fixing it. Click where it says "report" at the bottom of your original post.

 

[Ankh]

I don't believe that's possible, but if there's a problem with your thread, I think you can report it to the mods and ask them about fixing it. Click where it says "report" at the bottom of your original post.

I don't believe that's possible, but if there's a problem with your thread, I think you can report it to the mods and ask them about fixing it. Click where it says "report" at the bottom of your original post.

So if I want to make a new thread I just ignore the other and make a new one?

 

[avaseofpeonies]

So if I want to make a new thread I just ignore the other and make a new one?

I personally don't see anything wrong with that, but I'm not an authority. If you want a definitive answer, try asking about this in the Scribblehub Discussion section.

 

[Narcissistic_loser]

Hi, I'm a new Author, and published my first work. This is more a test to see if I can make a name for my self. I would really appreciate critique and advice, as well as a bit of support, making friend with some fellow and grow together.
My novel is : https://www.scribblehub.com/series/712379/unlocked/
Is gonna be a really short novel, and if everything goes well, i'm gonna start my other novel with martial art and action.
Ps: they may be error since my first language is not English

You should use Quillbot mann, and put your story there and set to fluency after using Quillbot use grammarly,
After using grammarly and Quillbot check your chapter if it feels too Npc-like and re-edit and re-edit till you get the thing where it feels real. that's what I did for my novel till chapter 5, When I started my chapter 6, I was confident to use my Raw writing due to some tips from the authors on this forum and Yt vids, special shout-out to @Corty guiding me through my shit through his threads and @OokamiKasumi
too for her threads that made me realize what kind of writing I wanted I may not have followed all her advice 100% but I definitely learned something from it.