Writing webnovels on different websites has been a pretty fun dream of mine, and I have attempted in doing so but i've always ended up dropping my stories due to a few different points of writing.
There are 3 main parts of writing a story I need help on and I have looked for other stories to find anything to help me with it.
First, how do you write in 3rd person and first person? I get that writing in 3rd person is great for world building, but I don't really get how to actually write in it. For example, I always ended up doing something weird like making their thoughts in italics or something since I never really understood how to do it. The same issue goes for first person, I found it challenging to actually write and build up my story without it sounding like it was too rushed.
For me, I write my story in a combined 1st Person POV and 3rd Person POV (either limited or omnipotent, depending on the need of the scene). Sometimes, I'm so used to 1st Person POV that I unintentionally write in that POV when the scene is meant for 3rd Person POV, especially during the 1st Draft (vomit draft). In that case, I simply change the 'I' pronouns to the character names and 3rd person pronouns (he, she, they).
For example:
My draft (I accidentally wrote it in 1st Person POV). Please take note of the italics, which is my MC's thought.
"But do you have any clan in mind that you wanted killed, or annihilated, ghoul lord?" I returned the question to him.
I'd say, this noble is easily controlled.
My actual manuscript (I decided to switch in 3rd Person POV).
"But do you have any clan in mind that you wanted killed, or annihilated, ghoul lord?" the Lord Greg returned the question to him.
This noble is easily controlled, the human noble thought.
So here, I barely changed the narrative, but I switched from 1st Person POV to 3rd Person POV. As for the thoughts, yes, I also use italics to convey that it is the character's thoughts, though I usually include tags to indicate that it is this certain character's thoughts.
Next, how do you write dialogue? When I wrote dialogue, I usually found myself using far too many "someone's name said" or "he said" or "she said", etc. I just haven't really found a way around it since when i skip out on too many of them, the story reads awkward.
Before I delve into the dialogue or the banters of the characters, I usually establish first who are these characters and their names. For example:
"Tense silence suddenly enveloped the entire assembly, as the elders of the various demon clans waited upon their counterparts to speak. Then, after a few minutes, the human lord, Greg Santos, finally broke the ice.
"Do you believe that all demons are created equal?" he asked.
"What do you mean by that, Lord Greg?" an incubus elder replied with a question.
"Well, for example," the human lord took his pistol and placed it on the table before everyone. "If I asked you ho among the clans should I kill and annihilate in the name of the demon king-president, who will you choose and why?"
In my example, I used to identify my human character, Greg Santos, as the human lord. As such, instead of the usual 'he said'/'she said', I could use other ways to refer to him, like the 'human lord', and the action he was doing at the moment. That way, it won't be repetitive. This is more effective when you got several characters engaged in a conversation.
For two-character talks, I just use dialogue tags in the early parts of their conversation, then continue with the flow, until I need to indicate something important, like an action being done while speaking. For example,
"A constitution you say, milord?" a goblin elder asked. "Pray, do tell us more about this, Lord Greg."
"Well, to put it simply, Cherflammen will be under a federal republic," the Lord Greg paused a bit before continuing. "As such, it won't be ruled by a king or a monarch, and a constitution is needed. It just a set of laws created to guarantee your rights, privileges and freedoms, as long as you submit to the authority of your elected demon king-president."
"Hmm...isn't it that the Prince Hurion swore to uphold our rights and privileges when we agreed to submit to his authority before?"
"You did. And I thank you for that wise decision. However, a constitution would set your freedoms and its limitations on paper, where we can always read and consult it before making a decision. For short, think of it as something of a covenant between your clans and the demon king-president."
If you noticed, there's dialogues here where I didn't say who's speaking, yet you can infer that it is spoken by the goblin noble or the human lord. This is just a two-way conversation, so just by looking at the pattern of their talk, you'll know who's speaking...thus, the dialogue tags (he said/she said) isn't necessary.
Finally the hardest part, writing action. I find writing action hard since you have to mix dialogue, "sound effects" as well as explaining the scene itself. It's weird trying to narrate a scene in a first person story and I find it difficult trying to do so in a third person story as well. It always ends up rushed, with different attacks or actions rushing the fight too quickly and not really building anything to the story, I might as well could have just said that the main character beat this monster or creature straight up.
If I'm writing actions, I rarely use 'onomatopeias' or 'sound effects'. Well, before, I'm using it; nowadays, I find it awkward. In any case, here's how I write action parts in my work:
1st Person POV action scene
**
Greg**
The courtyard of Castle Darkmoor was taken without a shot fired. Lady Shevaun’s offensive from the north was a resounding success, as we observed from the skies, and she was now marching to capture the city itself. There was sporadic resistance, but I guess, this battle was already lost for the Lord Haya.
However, this war won’t be won without Princess Noir, and it’s our job to rescue her.
So, taking advantage of the panic, we swooped in the Usarved palace, finding the remaining elves setting up their defenses along the walls of Castle Darkmoor. As I was told before that they would have difficulty in looking at the dark, I had a wind blow their candles out. Once darkness enveloped them, the
‘Jägers’ moved in.
There was no contest, as the elves were stunned and were easily killed or captured and disarmed. However, this applied to those who were outside the palace itself. For those who were still inside, they still had few precious seconds to prepare for our assault.
“!!!”
The
‘Jägers’ began the attack by lobbing grenades through the door and windows of the palace. The explosions happened almost simultaneously, and we didn’t even wait for the smoke and dust to settle. The elf guards who were caught in the blast were instantly killed, while those who survived tried to fight back.
“Shit!” I immediately ducked as the bullets flew. Based from the weapons we captured at the courtyard, I was shocked to see that these elves were carrying modern guns—M4A1s, high-powered assault rifles from my world. We didn’t have time to interrogate our prisoners, but I’d like to know where they got those.
Meanwhile, my companions were also taking cover, as per our training. The elves’ weakness in the dark was compensated by their highly-developed instincts, so they could still shoot at us, though not as accurate as I assumed it to be. As for me, I couldn’t see well, too, so I just remained in my spot ’till one of our demons took advantage of it and shot back at our foes, felling them.
“Sir, they’re easy to shoot!” the soldier told me in jest. “They are just standing there firing their guns!”
“Well, I’m human and I can’t see properly in the dark, mind you!” I countered. “So, if you’re that confident in your skills, you better carry us,
hotshot!”
My companions laughed, which somehow made the tense situation a bit lighter. But soon, we returned to our serious faces as we searched the castle for our goals. The maid, Angelli, gave us a good information on where we should expect resistance, including where the guards were usually positioned. The method I taught the
‘Jägers’:
‘Throw a grenade’, wait for the boom, close in to kill’ worked smoothly, and soon the entire palace was littered with elf corpses.
We also had the chance to pick up our enemies’ weapons, which was significantly better than the ‘Bolt-Heater’ revolver we’re using. However, as we were not trained to use it, we just left those on the spot where it fell.
Besides, I don’t like the proliferation of these kinds of arms in the aftermath of this conflict, so I’m planning to have it all destroyed.
Our progress went unimpeded. Those who tried to resist were killed, while those who surrendered were disarmed, restrained and taken out to the courtyard. And then, finally, we stood outside the doors of the Lord Haya’s private chambers, with the elves standing guard surrendering their weapons. They also informed us that it was locked, with the Lord Haya, a demon lady, and three of their comrades inside.
Yes, that’s Princess Noir, alright.
“…”
Of course, we expected it to be locked—even barricaded—from the other side. The Lord Haya had time to prepare, after all. Now the problem was, if we threw a grenade, we might end up killing everyone inside, including Her Highness. But, if we tried to force the doors open, the risk of his guards shooting at us were high, and we might sustain fatalities, which—up to this point—was still a possibility.
“!!!”
As we slowed down to rethink of our strategy, however, three huge monsters broke out of the demon lord’s room and fought against us. We were all surprised, for we had no idea that there were those creatures inside the private chambers.
“How the fuck did these monsters get in?” the orc who was with us blurted out, as he desperately fought back with his pistol. He was quickly overwhelmed though and was thrown towards the wall, suffering injuries.
One of my companions then uttered a fire spell, and threw it on our enemies, setting them alight. To my horror, I recognized that the monsters we’re dealing with were minotaurs, and they went berserk even when they were burning.
As I was a general of the Goblin Legion, the members of the
‘Jägers’ immediately moved to protect me. However, I won’t allow it; though I’m their leader, I preferred leading on the front, rather than commanding from the rear. So, without delay, I grabbed one of the captured M4A1s, kneeled and aimed at the heads of the minotaurs. Our bullets won’t simply kill them, as shown by the orc earlier, but disabling these creatures could help.
“!!!”
A couple of shots, and the first minotaur was blinded. I followed it with more, and took out the sight of the other two monsters. When the
‘Jägers’ saw what I was doing, they opened fire as well. I think even a leviathan from Cherwind wouldn’t survive the hail of bullets that rained on the creatures. Soon, we got three smoldering minotaur corpses, and an open door to Princess Noir…
3rd Person POV action scene
The Battle for Darkmoor began with a massive artillery fire from Shevaun’s army, stationed on a higher ground overlooking the Usarved’s main city from a distance. Facing her forces were the entrenched soldiers of the Lord Haya, led by his elf guards and pressed into service on the pain of death. As the demon chamberlain was the first to arrive in that area, they had the luxury of constructing elaborate trench networks that supported the frontline while being protected from the enemy counter-barrage.
The elves were renowned for their eyes and their skill to hit their targets with unearthly precision. However, in contrast to the city of Darkmoor—which was illuminated by candlelight posts—the northern borders of the region were pitch black, as it lay on the ‘night’ parts of Cherflammen. While the elves could use their instincts to look for their enemies, its distance was limited, and they had to rely on the Usarved soldiers—who had no problems looking into the dark—to determine where to fire.
And the Usarveds, just like any other demon individual, didn’t like elves lording over them. They deliberately positioned and aimed their cannons away from the attacking army of their own people, fooling their elf leaders for a time.
So, the devastating barrage from Shevaun’s forces continued. When the elves realized that they were being duped by the Usarved officers, they executed them on the spot, and ordered the ordinary soldiers to ‘fix bayonets’ and charge.
The result was a massacre. The Usarved army of the Lord Haya was still the ‘old’ one, used to marching across the battlefield lined like a wall of mortal flesh and in steady, slow paces, ready to bulldoze a similar force with their matchlock
crack horns, swords and bayonets. Against the ‘new’ Usarved army led by Shevaun and trained according to the tactics devised by the Lord Greg, however, they were hopelessly outgunned, outmaneuvered and outgeneraled.
“Cease fire! Cease fire!” came the order across the lines of the demon chamberlain’s forces. They couldn’t take the slaughter against their hapless ‘enemy’ any longer; there was not even a fight! As the Usarved soldiers of the Lord Haya marched to reach Shevaun’s positions, they threw their
crack horns to surrender
en masse to their own people.
When the elves, hiding in the trenches, saw what was happening, they tried to spur the ‘cowardly’ Usarveds into fighting by shooting at them, which killed scores. As their fire was focused on the surrendering regiments, the sharpshooters from Shevaun’s army sniped on the long-ears, much to the latter’s shock, for they were confident of the safety in their distance.
As the Usarved soldiers on the Lord Haya’s side switched loyalties, the demon chamberlain noticed that the enemy defenses were already undermanned. An aide rushed to her and excitedly said, “
Milady! Darkmoor is open for an assault! Would you order it?”
Looking at the nearly defenseless demon city, Shevaun smirked and said, “Order the general advance. We shall get the Lord Haya’s head before the long sleep!”
So if you went through the effort of reading through everything I have written down here, I would really like it for you to please offer suggestions and/or examples of any of these 3 points as well as any other suggestions you might have for me.
Thanks! >.<
I hope I can finally write a story I can complete without dropping due to my lack of writing experience as well as skill since afterall, Im just a reader who aspires to write about their own world and read through the comments while interacting with the readers.
Finally, writing is a process. The more you write, the more you develop your skills. Of course, unless you're talented, no one starts at the top immediately. We learn as we go through the life of an author. Don't be discouraged if you think you're not progressing much. If you feel tired of your story, take a break then return to it after some time. Slow and steady wins the race anyway.
Hope this reply helps.
