Questions to ask before marriage

[Reisinling]

Questions to ask:
1. I come to you saying I killed a man, What do you do?
2. You agreed to help me hide the body? Great, how do we do it?
3. How are we going to lie to the police?
4. When we get to prison, do "prison wife/husband" count as cheating?

 

[LordJoyde]

• Is this marriage going to be monogamous or non-monogamous? - if ya need to ask this, you shouldn't be marrying
• Who is responsible for making the money? - the partner not dedicated to the kids/both if you have none
• Who is responsible for taking care of the home? - both of you
• Do you want kids? - Why would you waste money on marriage if you didn't want kids?
  • If so, how many? - This cannot be a decided number. It changes alongside environment and opportunity.
  • Are you willing to care for an "oops baby" from an extramarital partner? - No such thing as an 'oops baby'. Not my spawn, not my problem and if you have an oops baby, its your problem.
  • What happens if the fetus has a trisomy of a severe abnormality? - Difficult question, depends on established trust.
  • Are you willing to adopt? - This is also a question of circumstance, not an arbitrary number.

Kids aren't something you get, realize you dont want anymore and throw in the trash. If you have even the slightest inkling that you can't be a parent, then don't, you'll do yourself and your non-existent kid a service. Couples can be easily happy without children and if a partner can't get over the fact that you're not ready, then should you really be with them?

 

[Yati]

I think marriages that fail are usually because the people involved don't see themselves as one which usually leads to people growing apart.
They are preoccupied with their own petty needs and often start seeing each other as an obstacle to getting what they want themselves. That keeps creating resentment that slowly builds up ending in a break up.

I would not want anyone that puts me through a questionnaire. Where is the romance in that. Love, romance and marriage should be romantic. When it just feels right, get married and work together to make it work. You are working for yourselves and your own family now. Don't start bookkeeping... you are no longer living with your mom...

 

[CadmarLegend]

Questions to ask:
1. I come to you saying I killed a man, What do you do?
2. You agreed to help me hide the body? Great, how do we do it?
3. How are we going to lie to the police?
4. When we get to prison, do "prison wife/husband" count as cheating?

Questions implied:

1. Bohemian Rhapsody.
2. Bohemian Rhapsody 2nd version.
3. Extended cuts.
4. Dark secrets of the production of the Bohemian Raphsody.

 

[SailusGebel]

Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?

 

[Yati]

This all reminds me of this song

 

[gaylolis]

The most important question I wanna ask my wife: are you actually real or am I just insane?

She answered, "Both."

 

[KoyukiMegumi]

Birth defects were our big concern. The older the parents get, the more likely birth defects are. We both agreed that we would abort a fetus with major defects. Also, we agreed that we would hide the truth from our Catholic parents if it came to that and claim I had a miscarriage. Thankfully, that wasn't necessary. Our first child is perfect! We want more than one, but not right away. I had gestational diabetes and had to walk after every meal, so in order to do that again, we need to get to a place where we can keep that sort of schedule. Adoption is on the table for the second one since I want a girl, but we're still giving it some time to decide.

We were friends with benefits for most of those years while he was in the Navy. We spent two months together in Hawaii, where I cooked meals for him in a slow cooker to save money. He moved in with me a year and a half later, and then it was about a month before he became my boyfriend, and then we got engaged after another few months.

We've been married for a little over three years now, and things are going well :)

Also, one of the reasons I said yes so quickly was that one of my boyfriends died in 2015.
I'd also like to add that I haven't been in a monogamous relationship since 2008.

There is a risk for preggers over the age of 40 for birth defects, but that doesn't mean everyone will get them. Most don't. But this is where you balance the risk V.S. benefits. Most people after 45 will have a hard time getting preggers too.

I feel obligated to inform you to care for your well-being since you had gestational diabetes. (I am sure your doctor told you, but I need to as well for my conscience!) This increases the chances of getting type 2 in your life. So please be as healthy as you can be!

One doesn't need marriage to get preggers, though. There are always donators and surrogate wombs to use. (I have no kids, age 28. In no hurry to get preggers and my bio clock is shorter than most women. Why? I have endo. But heck, my life hasn't been easy. And to place a kid into this world because I want one seems unfair.)

I am happy you got a good ending! I hope the bliss carries out through the rest of your years! It was fortunate that you had already been together, not as a couple, but as friends with benefits. Sadly, we saw in this pandemic how relationships got tested. If you can't be with the person 24/7. Then that isn't for you. *You as in the public, not as an individual.*

Heck, I met my bf online on a game! I have been living with him for 10 years and going to 11. I call him my hubs but in reality; he is just my bf. Well, in legal terms, but hey I see him as my hubs. Yet, I wouldn't advise anyone to do that. Why? Because it is dangerous but I got lucky too. (I could have met a real creep, but got amazing hubs instead.)

So I give the advice on what I see. Domestic violence is at an all-time high, and these poor people (Men and women) are tied to their spouses for 18 years if they have kids. Even if they're not married. So, I would rather see them have late preggers and manage the risk than a miserable life. Remember, a kid is a life commitment, not an 18 year one. Well, for most people.

Also, I am sorry for your loss. I am happy you found a stable relationship to create a family with!

 

[K5Rakitan]

don't marry, people want too much nowdays and there is no incentive to stick together or solve problems so marriage fail half of the times, the bigger problem i see tho is that people don't stick with wath they agree with after a while since there is little incentive to keep things going, society nowdays is not really conductive to long term relationships

Some people are just liars. They lie because they want something, or they lie to themselves because society says they are supposed to want certain things.

This is why I chose polyamory. Anything else would be a lie to myself.

I feel obligated to inform you to care for your well-being since you had gestational diabetes. (I am sure your doctor told you, but I need to as well for my conscience!) This increases the chances of getting type 2 in your life. So please be as healthy as you can be!

One doesn't need marriage to get preggers, though. There are always donators and surrogate wombs to use. (I have no kids, age 28. In no hurry to get preggers and my bio clock is shorter than most women. Why? I have endo. But heck, my life hasn't been easy. And to place a kid into this world because I want one seems unfair.)

I am happy you got a good ending! I hope the bliss carries out through the rest of your years! It was fortunate that you had already been together, not as a couple, but as friends with benefits. Sadly, we saw in this pandemic how relationships got tested. If you can't be with the person 24/7. Then that isn't for you. *You as in the public, not as an individual.*

Heck, I met my bf online on a game! I have been living with him for 10 years and going to 11. I call him my hubs but in reality; he is just my bf. Well, in legal terms, but hey I see him as my hubs. Yet, I wouldn't advise anyone to do that. Why? Because it is dangerous but I got lucky too. (I could have met a real creep, but got amazing hubs instead.)

So I give the advice on what I see. Domestic violence is at an all-time high, and these poor people (Men and women) are tied to their spouses for 18 years if they have kids. Even if they're not married. So, I would rather see them have late preggers and manage the risk than a miserable life. Remember, a kid is a life commitment, not an 18 year one. Well, for most people.

Also, I am sorry for your loss. I am happy you found a stable relationship to create a family with!

Indeed, my doctor send me some literature on my risk for type 2 diabetes. My mother also had gestational diabetes, but she is perfectly fine now. Breastfeeding also reduces my risk for type 2 diabetes. The longer, the better! My mom only breastfed me for 4 months, as was recommended when I was an infant, but I plan to breastfeed for at least 2 years, as the WHO currently recommends.

I couldn't imagine dealing with a kid without a partner. Perhaps if I paid someone else to look after the kid or if I saved up enough money to go without working for three years. It is truly a full-time job! Childcare workers deserve every penny they get and much more! As for me, I'm grateful I get to work from home and set my own schedule as well as all the help I get from my husband. I've basically been on maternity leave for the past eight months, but I committed to a new work project that will be starting soon. Fortunately, I also set my own deadlines, and the author knows it might take me a year or more to edit her manuscript.

I met my maid of honor on an online game! She flew all the way from Wales to California for the wedding, and I was floored!

Thanky!