Realisation and Resolution (Update)

[ChaosGodOfJashin]

Yo, Jashin here. Still here at the very least. For those who had seen my previous thread, I am sorry.

I have realised the error in my ways of living and I am way too naive. I realised that I am still too immature.

For those who had not seen it as it is probably deleted. That is fine. I just wanted to have someone to talk to about this anonymously.

So right now I am fine. Kinda? I mean my illness made me couldn't really eat that well because anything that entered my stomach will be vomited out again. But I am trying hard not to.

I had realised that I am too selfish of a person and realised that I too had hope in me. I just always turned a blind eye to it and always think that my worries will magically went away.

And so I had decided and resolute myself to go on until that future that I admire. I will chase my dreams to become a Game Developer alongside my friends. I will live alongside my friend in Japan and I will make my parents proud.

I had realised that there are people who cared about me but I just locked them out of my true feelings and I will learn to accept them.

I know this may just seem random but sometimes, I appreciate the Internet where I could just be anonymous and tell my stories to others. I will probably keep writing after my conditions are better. But for now I need to focus on what I can do.

P.S: This might seem funny but I also got my encouragement from seeing those reddit videos about entitled people on youtube and that made me realise that there are way more people who suffered more dealing with them rather than me:/. So I just wanted to say nice work to you all hard working customer services out there!!

 

[Deleted member 54065]

Yo, Jashin here. Still here at the very least. For those who had seen my previous thread, I am sorry.

I have realised the error in my ways of living and I am way too naive. I realised that I am still too immature.

For those who had not seen it as it is probably deleted. That is fine. I just wanted to have someone to talk to about this anonymously.

So right now I am fine. Kinda? I mean my illness made me couldn't really eat that well because anything that entered my stomach will be vomited out again. But I am trying hard not to.

I had realised that I am too selfish of a person and realised that I too had hope in me. I just always turned a blind eye to it and always think that my worries will magically went away.

And so I had decided and resolute myself to go on until that future that I admire. I will chase my dreams to become a Game Developer alongside my friends. I will live alongside my friend in Japan and I will make my parents proud.

I had realised that there are people who cared about me but I just locked them out of my true feelings and I will learn to accept them.

I know this may just seem random but sometimes, I appreciate the Internet where I could just be anonymous and tell my stories to others. I will probably keep writing after my conditions are better. But for now I need to focus on what I can do.

P.S: This might seem funny but I also got my encouragement from seeing those reddit videos about entitled people on youtube and that made me realise that there are way more people who suffered more dealing with them rather than me:/. So I just wanted to say nice work to you all hard working customer services out there!!

Good to have you back, man. Let's fight our naysayers and piss them off till the end.

We may be strangers online, but depression sure sucks. At least you still hang on till reason took over once again, and that's brave of you.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

I have realised the error in my ways of living and I am way too naive. I realised that I am still too immature.

Alas, the truth of the matter is, this is the state for everyone. It is a continuous cycle in life where we get comfortable and settle into a situation of arrogance. Then, if we are lucky, this state is shattered and we realize how ignorant we were. Then we again grow comfortable and complacency sets in.

Pride is the single most expensive thing you will ever own, for good reason. Pride can help sustain you in your darkest hour. The point is know it's worth and know when the return for sacrificing one's pride will give you a return worthy of the cost. Horde it like a miser, but spend it like an investor. The deferment of gratification is an ability that is key to becoming a success.

I had realised that I am too selfish of a person and realised that I too had hope in me. I just always turned a blind eye to it and always think that my worries will magically went away.

Greed is good as long as it is tempered with wisdom and an eye on the future. It is addiction to 'want' that is the issue. The accumulation of "more" for yourself isn't selfish, if you have a plan for the "More" your are gathering. Will you pile "it" up and lie upon it, guarding it from all who approach you, or will you use your bounty so that you are strong in times of famine, thus able to lend your strength to those who fall on hard times?

And so I had decided and resolute myself to go on until that future that I admire. I will chase my dreams to become a Game Developer alongside my friends. I will live alongside my friend in Japan and I will make my parents proud.

Follow your dreams... after you have set yourself up in a position of stability. I do not know how how likely you are to strike it successful in your chosen field, but it is far easier to achieve your dreams if you are in a place where you are not plagued by worries of mundane concerns, like having a place to sleep, or enough food to eat.

I had realised that there are people who cared about me but I just locked them out of my true feelings and I will learn to accept them.

A third party perspective won't hurt.

I know this may just seem random but sometimes, I appreciate the Internet where I could just be anonymous and tell my stories to others. I will probably keep writing after my conditions are better. But for now I need to focus on what I can do.

On airplanes, the stewardess informs the passengers they should always make sure their own oxygen mask is secure before helping another.

Think about it.

 

[Viator]

Glad to hear from you. It can be difficult when you feel sick all the time and your own body keeps you from the things you wish for. (I also can hardly eat anything without vomiting, among many other issues.) But I hope you continue to find things to cherish. For me, my everyday motivation lies not in the big moments but the small, every day ones.