Roast me as crazy as you can

Snusmumriken

Vagabond and traveller
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You've entered a contest without stating a theme?

You need proofreading first and foremost. This is the easiest part that would provide the greatest benefit at this point since there are multiple grammatical errors and inconsistencies present throughout the chapter. (no capitalization, names having two separate spellings, plural nouns for singular entities etc)
 

K5Rakitan

Level 34 👪 💍 Pronouns: she/whore ♀
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