Synopsis feedback for a cookie.

[ManwX]

Can you guys give me some insights on the synopsis? Is it good enough? I'll give you a cookie for your troubles.

Alex's upbringing was anything but ordinary. Raised by an alien Starship mechanic, he found himself trapped in a life of routine and monotony, feeling as if he were confined within a gilded cage. Hiding his identity and race had become second nature to him. It was the very first thing he was taught and it was out of necessity. Alex later came to know that he was the last surviving human, his entire race having vanished millennia ago, leaving behind an enigmatic history.

The constant longing to escape and unearth his true origins consumed him, especially when he stumbled upon an ancient codex that hinted at the existence of human civilization. This discovery led him to a peculiar robotic cat and a set of coordinates pointing toward Eden Prime, a place believed to be the cradle of humanity. Fueled by curiosity, Alex ventures into the cosmos in search of answers to the secrets of his past and the fate of his civilization. His quest for answers has just begun, with the vast galaxy waiting to be explored.

 

[SailusGebel]

So-so. Don't like the second part of the first paragraph.

 

[ManwX]

This one? Alex later came to know that he was the last surviving human, his entire race having vanished millennia ago, leaving behind an enigmatic history.

Should I remove it?

So-so. Don't like the second part of the first paragraph.

Any recommendations on what can be improved? Like if it's too bland or something?

So-so. Don't like the second part of the first paragraph.

 

[K5Rakitan]

As I always say, you need to toss in a question or three to entice the reader.

 

[greyblob]

this reads like a summary not a synopsis

 

[SailusGebel]

This one?

This part. "Hiding his identity and race had become second nature to him. It was the very first thing he was taught and it was out of necessity. Alex later came to know that he was the last surviving human, his entire race having vanished millennia ago, leaving behind an enigmatic history."
I don't know how to phrase this properly. I don't like how you give this info. It feels and looks out of place. If you decide to delete this part, you will have to change the second paragraph. As for recommendations, I don't have any. I suck at writing summaries and synopsis.

 

[ManwX]

This part. "Hiding his identity and race had become second nature to him. It was the very first thing he was taught and it was out of necessity. Alex later came to know that he was the last surviving human, his entire race having vanished millennia ago, leaving behind an enigmatic history."
I don't know how to phrase this properly. I don't like how you give this info. It feels and looks out of place. If you decide to delete this part, you will have to change the second paragraph. As for recommendations, I don't have any. I suck at writing summaries and synopsis.

na it's fine. you give me some good insight. for the info being too revealing it's mentioned in the first chapter. so im just making some connections and just giving some info that would be very accessible in the first chapters to create intrigue.

 

[melchi]

Also being raised like a mechanic + gilded cage seems like an oxymoron.

Mechanic work is dirty, difficult work. A gilded cage is prim, proper, clean.