Synopsises

[Pixxie]

Excuse me but I'm wondering if the synopsises good in my stories are good. Please let me know if they need improvement.

The Tale of Mysteria

A high fantasy epic.

Mysteria: A world of kingdoms, where magic exists in every corner.

After dying from an incurable disease, eighteen-year-old Michael was reincarnated into the world of Mysteria in a worse life than his previous one. He struggled in his new way of life as a poor, homeless man until he decided to go out on a quest after demons attacked Basilia. Will he complete his quest to get out of his situation? Or will he fail his quest and remain struggling for all eternity?

Aniva

A space opera epic

Aniva: A thriving galaxy, infested by the dark lord's dominions from stars to the smallest of moons. Technologies beyond comprehension remains in the hands of its creation, threatening the lives of countless in a galaxy of Aniva.

Eighteen-year-old Dilara served as the sole maid in a mansion for her cruel sisters and Mother, never getting a chance to explore her life besides work. She was in danger right after the demons attacked Castoria and nearly damaged it. Will she go out on a quest to save the galaxy of Aniva from the dark lord? Or will she suffer under demons' terrorism?

 

[Shamiko]

It's pretty good.

For the first one maybe include how bad his previous life was to give readers a better idea.
And for the second one maybe include how bad the demons' attack was to also give a little more information.

Lastly it's good to include a list of things that explain what to expect.

 

[Pixxie]

It's pretty good.

For the first one maybe include how bad his previous life was to give readers a better idea.
And for the second one maybe include how bad the demons' attack was to also give a little more information.

Lastly it's good to include a list of things that explain what to expect.

What do you mean "a list of things that explain what to expect?"

 

[melchi]

Try to think of it from a reader's perspective.

Suppose reader a likes high fantasy but not low fantasy. Knowing only that there is a demon lord it could be either. Heck, it could even be urban fantasy is the world is modern.

Also, "Poor homeless man" scream murder hobo protag. Hopefully this is the case otherwise it is a bit misleading.

Also, using the term galaxy makes it seem like it might be a space opera.

 

[Pixxie]

Try to think of it from a reader's perspective.

Suppose reader a likes high fantasy but not low fantasy. Knowing only that there is a demon lord it could be either. Heck, it could even be urban fantasy is the world is modern.

Also, "Poor homeless man" scream murder hobo protag. Hopefully this is the case otherwise it is a bit misleading.

Also, using the term galaxy makes it seem like it might be a space opera.

Both my stories are high and epic fantasies with the second one's mixed with Sci-fi.

My Protagonist won't be a murdering poor man, he's to survive as poor homeless one.

My second one's a space opera.

 

[Syringe]

I guess one thing I'd add is something about the world and the setting. It's hard to tell what the setting is aside from the first being a fantasy (although homeless makes me think it's an urban fantasy). And the second made me think it was also a fantasy with 'mansion' and 'demons' until I realized you mentioned 'galaxy'.

E.g Mysteira, a world of ____, where _____ exists in every corner. A world of kingdoms, magic, etc. A high-fantasy epic.

E.g Aniva: A dying/thriving galaxy, infested by the dark lord's dominions from stars to the smallest of moons. Technologies beyond comprehension remains in the hands of _____, threatening the lives of countless in a galaxy of _____. A space opera epic, etc.

The setting matters a lot.

 

[Shamiko]

What do you mean "a list of things that explain what to expect?"

I mean like list some major parts of the story. Like if there's going to be a lot of cat girls then add that to the list. If there's going to be a lot of magical clans then add that too.
Stuff like that.

If u still dont really understand, then search up "So you wanna be an anime catgirl" by Blueberry. Its a good example of wht I'm talking about.

 

[Pixxie]

I mean like list some major parts of the story. Like if there's going to be a lot of cat girls then add that to the list. If there's going to be a lot of magical clans then add that too.
Stuff like that.

If u still dont really understand, then search up "So you wanna be an anime catgirl" by Blueberry. Its a good example of wht I'm talking about.

Got it, thanx.

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

Here's a useful thread.

Jay's Synopsis Formula will work on your novel.

This is actually an answer to an earlier thread, but it's best to share as a full thread. Why? Because it works. It does not matter if your story is slice of life about a GENDER-BENT BLOB OF ENERGY. My synopsis formula works. All you have to do is answer these FOUR QUESTIONS and you can create...

forum.scribblehub.com

 

[Deleted member 54065]

Synopses usually answer the questions a reader wants to know before picking up a book.

Like,

"What's this all about?"
"Where is the story heading?"
"Why should I care?"

All without blatantly giving answers to those.

So yeah, this synopsis is good, though it can be improved.

Original:

"After dying from an incurable disease, eighteen-year-old Michael was reincarnated into the world of Mysteria in a worse life than his previous one. He struggled in his new way of life as a poor, homeless man until he decided to go out on a quest after demons attacked Basilia. Will he complete his quest to get out of his situation? Or will he fail his quest and remain struggling for all eternity?"

Alternate:

"After dying from an incurable disease, eighteen-year old Michael is reincarnated into the world of Mysteria, in a worse life than his previous one. Having had enough of his ill-fortune, he goes out on a quest after a demon attack in his hometown. Will he succeed in his goal, or remain struggling forever?"

Please do note that I took the liberty of changing this synopsis into a simpler, yet informative one (answers the questions earlier).

"What is this about?" About Michael's adventures.

"Where is the story heading?" Michael's goal to get out of his misfortune of a life.

"Why should I care?" Michael will go against demons, so will he succeed or not?

Notice that I removed Basilia, because if it's the first part or a standalone work, readers don't know anything about Basilia. This is a different case to Mysteria, which is the name of the world itself. Basilia, in a reader's POV, will prompt the question, "Where did that name come from?", thus increase possible confusion on reading the synopsis.

So yeah, just 'hometown', 'town' or any other common noun alternative is enough.

And definitely, you don't want your synopsis too long explaining what is Basilia and other concepts/worlds, or it'll become an author's note on story settings. Better show it in the story itself.

I just mentioned that Michael's place was attacked, to justify the next statements on why he will take on the demons.

 

[georgelee5786]

It is...ok

 

[K5Rakitan]

It's good to include questions to entice the reader, but I see you're using questions with a yes-or-no answer. I recommend more open-ended questions starting with "why" or "how" if you can think of any good ones.

 

[Pixxie]

It's good to include questions to entice the reader, but I see you're using questions with a yes-or-no answer. I recommend more open-ended questions starting with "why" or "how" if you can think of any good ones.

How do I ask a why or how questions at the end of my synopsises?

 

[Deleted member 54065]

How do I ask a why or how questions at the end of my synopsises?

K5 recommends it, not really a rule. But if you want to ask 'why/how' questions in your synopses, you can do this:

'How will Michael succeed against the demons?'

 

[K5Rakitan]

How do I ask a why or how questions at the end of my synopsises?

Carefully

'How will Michael succeed against the demons?'

also carefully

 

[Deleted member 54065]

If you want to raise the stakes in your 'how' question, add a condition, like:

"How will Michael succeed against the demons, when Fate is always fighting him?"

 

[K5Rakitan]

"How will Michael succeed against the demons, when Fate is always fighting him?"

very carefully

 

[Deleted member 54065]

very carefully

You sure it's not "extremely carefully"?