Writing Prompt The worst possible way for someone to kick off their Isekei adventure.

ars

trash bin
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
105
Points
83
I think the worst way to go through the reincarnation style of Isekei would be to just end up as an inanimate object no one would ever look at or touch, like a pebble or stick. They then proceed to sit as said object for about ten years and suffer from extreme loneliness.
Right?
Though I've seen the 'I reincarnated as a sword!' type of stories around, I've never actually read any of them. I can't even imagine how those stories are written, let alone ones with even weirder objects like a chair or something... Reincarnating as a rock would be a hermit's dream, though. :blobrofl:
 

XianPiete

Bad Fiction Author
Joined
Apr 16, 2019
Messages
154
Points
83
Tachibana Ryuji was a typical second year high school student who loved to listen to music and spend ridiculous amounts of time staring at his phone waiting for the next social media content, anime or web novel to entertain him. His friends and classmates thought of Ryuji as a nice guy who was just a little distant. That's why he never saw that Isuzu delivery truck that had to swerve out of the way to avoid hitting him. Unfortunately, by swerving to avoid him, the portable toilets the truck was carrying fell out of the back and came crashing down the street which caused a panda colored hachi-roku that was drifting around the corner to sideswipe a fruit vendor's stall which sent a large number of bananas spilling over the roadway and the crosswalk. Ryuji never saw the banana he stepped on.

Ryuji felt like he was floating in a void when all of a sudden a beautiful goddess appeared before him and said, "Tachibana Ryuji, I am very disappointed in you. I would like for you to atone for your sin by becoming a hero in another world. I will grant you one extraordinary power that you request, and then you will be placed in another world to act as their hero."

Ryuji's mind was racing as he thought of all the Isekei novels and anime he had read. What would be the best power? Finally he realized what all of the novels he enjoyed had in common and blurted out, "I want females to find me irresistible." Ryuji imagined himself with an incredible harem filled with beauties.

The Goddess waved her magic wand and then Ryuji saw a flash of light and then the void was replaced with a small medieval style village with a castle in the distance. Unfortunately the village was populated by anthropomorphic bananas.

857
 
Last edited:

Llamadragon

Active member
Joined
Jan 19, 2019
Messages
171
Points
43
HMMMM...

Rilduir, sorrowfully, traced the scar on the face of the woman he loved with his fingers. The scar tissue was thick, and a little rough to the touch, and felt colder than the rest of her skin, and though he knew that she had suffered more from the social backlash of having such a scar mar her otherwise breathtaking beauty, it was that coldness that stabbed the deepest daggers of guilt into his heart.
They hadn’t known each other when he cut her down. He was a rebel. She was the daughter of the former king, and the sister of the current one. He’d worn a mask to hide his face when his group attempted to assassinate her brother the king, and when they met again, she wore a mask to hide that scar. By that point, they were both very cold people, bitter about their circumstances, but fate had them travel together, and fight together, and grow together, struggling against their mutual enemy, the Demon King, who had plotted to make the two human factions rise against each other in the first place.
When they finally grew to the point where they had to admit to each other that they were in love, Minel had taken off her mask for the first time, smiling at him with a warmth he did not deserve. Rilduir was struck by another layer of the gravity of what he had done. Their relationship reset to nothing, she hated him when she found out the truth, and he couldn’t blame her. They would’ve split up there, but the Demon king was a threat that could not be ignored, and their duy as part of the Hero’s party and the fate of their nation weighed heavier than their own personal feelings. So they kept traveling together. Their feelings for each other was like a scab that healed a little, then got painfully ripped off, then healed, then got infected, then healed a little, then ripped off again and had salt thrown at it. Then, finally, healed.

Minel smiled at him, and leaned gently against his hand. Around them laid the corpses of fallen demons.. and their fallen comrades. They had won. At a price. Only they remained, and they had little time. Both of them could feel deaths fingers on their shoulders, and in the face of that great absolute, with no more time given to them, they were forced to face the fact that their differences meant nothing anymore. Minels smile was bright, and warm, and shone like a piece of the sun. He held her closer, noses toughing, and her breath tickling his skin.
”I don’t deserve you.” He said silently.
”Yep. You’re right, you definitely don’t.” Minel replied with a light laugh, and then she kissed him.
They remained in each others arms for the brief moments they still had in that life, and then they turned to dust.

... a voice rang out from the great white light. A goddess was sitting there, with a bowl of popcorn and a small mountain of used tissues. She was trying to keep herself from bawling from the looks of it but wasn’t doing a very good job.
”*Sniff* How... how romantic....! How tragic!!! *sniff sniff sniff BLOWS NOSE* Don’t worry, brave heroes! As a reward for your great sacrifice for this world, I will.. *hick* make sure you’ll reincarnate close to each other so that... so that you can be together in the next liiiifeeeeeaaaaawahaaaaaaaa.... *BAAAAWL*”


—————

Tears were flowing from Akiras’ eyes when he woke up. The dream he woke from had been so realistic, so horrifying and beautiful, and there was a hole in his heart in the shape of the non-existing woman he had dreamed about, who had never existed and whom he would therefore, obviously, never get to meet. He couldn’t help it, it felt like he had truly lost someone he loved, and he stayed in bed for a while and cried into his pillow until he felt stupid about it. He got dressed, washed his face in cold water until he didn’t look like a red-eyed mess anymore, and went down the stairs for breakfast.

His sister was already awake and abscentmindedly stirred her bowl of cereals.
”Morning. What’s wrong, Asami? You were excited about that event today, so why are you looking so down? Did something happen?” Akira asked as he filled his own bowl with yogurt, his voice devoid of any real interest.
”It’s nothing.” She replied, glancing at him from her bowl of cereals and then back. She was red-eyed and had clearly been crying, for which he had zero concern because she was at the age when she got emotional over what, to him, seemed to be the dumbest and most random crap. ”It’s just, I had this dream.” Akira felt a chill of cold run down his spine.
”Don’t get all red-eyed over a dream. That’s some over the top emotional crap, even for you.”
She glared at him, but unexpectedly she agreed, and finished her breakfast in silence. He snuck a glance at her, as she frowningly ran a finger down the side of her face, from her temple down to her chin, exactly where Minels’ scar had been. It was a casual gesture he wouldn’t have thought anything of before, but now, it was a silent confirmation. ”Akira, do you still have that wooden sword from when you used to practice kendo? Can I borrow it?” She said before she left.
”Yeah, unless mom threw it away it should be somewhere in the storage under the stairs. Speaking of borrowing stuff, can I borrow your collection of occult books?” Asami nodded with an uncharacteristic cold.
”I recommend starting with Alistair Crowley. A bunch of crap, but everything later references him. Then, the sigil works of Johannes Bureus.” Then she left the kitchen, and there was a loud BANG, presumably from her punching the wall somewhere out of Akiras sight.

Once the kitchen door closed, Akira crumbled the remaining half of his sandwich in his hand. He had a new goal. Sure, Akira didn’t know how to summon gods, but Rilduir knew, OH HE KNEW. Would it be easy? No, but neither was killing the Demon King after all. He could do it. He WOULD do it. He would summon that F***CKING GODDESS ALL THE WAY TO F***NG JAPAN, and HE WOULD STRANGLE HER FOR THIS, HE WOULD STRANGLE HER LIKE HE STRANGLED HIS SANDWICH.

————-

Well. That was long.
 
Last edited:

HURGMCGURG

That Guy
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
364
Points
133
HMMMM...

Rilduir, sorrowfully, traced the scar on the face of the woman he loved with his fingers. The scar tissue was thick, and a little rough to the touch, and felt colder than the rest of her skin, and though he knew that she had suffered more from the social backlash of having such a scar mar her otherwise breathtaking beauty, it was that coldness that stabbed the deepest daggers of guilt into his heart.
They hadn’t known each other when he cut her down. He was a rebel. She was the daughter of the former king, and the sister of the current one. He’d worn a mask to hide his face when his group attempted to assassinate her brother the king, and when they met again, she wore a mask to hide that scar. By that point, they were both very cold people, bitter about their circumstances, but fate had them travel together, and fight together, and grow together, struggling against their mutual enemy, the Demon King, who had plotted to make the two human factions rise against each other in the first place.
When they finally grew to the point where they had to admit to each other that they were in love, Minel had taken off her mask for the first time, smiling at him with a warmth he did not deserve. Rilduir was struck by another layer of the gravity of what he had done. Their relationship reset to nothing, she hated him when she found out the truth, and he couldn’t blame her. They would’ve split up there, but the Demon king was a threat that could not be ignored, and their duy as part of the Hero’s party and the fate of their nation weighed heavier than their own personal feelings. So they kept traveling together. Their feelings for each other was like a scab that healed a little, then got painfully ripped off, then healed, then got infected, then healed a little, then ripped off again and had salt thrown at it. Then, finally, healed.

Minel smiled at him, and leaned gently against his hand. Around them laid the corpses of fallen demons.. and their fallen comrades. They had won. At a price. Only they remained, and they had little time. Both of them could feel deaths fingers on their shoulders, and in the face of that great absolute, with no more time given to them, they were forced to face the fact that their differences meant nothing anymore. Minels smile was bright, and warm, and shone like a piece of the sun. He held her closer, noses toughing, and her breath tickling his skin.
”I don’t deserve you.” He said silently.
”Yep. You’re right, you definitely don’t.” Minel replied with a light laugh, and then she kissed him.
They remained in each others arms for the brief moments they still had in that life, and then they turned to dust.

... a voice rang out from the great white light. A goddess was sitting there, with a bowl of popcorn and a small mountain of used tissues. She was trying to keep herself from bawling from the looks of it but wasn’t doing a very good job.
”*Sniff* How... how romantic....! How tragic!!! *sniff sniff sniff BLOWS NOSE* Don’t worry, brave heroes! As a reward for your great sacrifice for this world, I will.. *hick* make sure you’ll reincarnate close to each other so that... so that you can be together in the next liiiifeeeeeaaaaawahaaaaaaaa.... *BAAAAWL*”


—————

Tears were flowing from Akiras’ eyes when he woke up. The dream he woke from had been so realistic, so horrifying and beautiful, and there was a hole in his heart in the shape of the non-existing woman he had dreamed about, who had never existed and whom he would therefore, obviously, never get to meet. He couldn’t help it, it felt like he had truly lost someone he loved, and he stayed in bed for a while and cried into his pillow until he felt stupid about it. He got dressed, washed his face in cold water until he didn’t look like a red-eyed mess anymore, and went down the stairs for breakfast.

His sister was already awake and abscentmindedly stirred her bowl of cereals.
”Morning. What’s wrong, Asami? You were excited about that event today, so why are you looking so down? Did something happen?” Akira asked as he filled his own bowl with yogurt, his voice devoid of any real interest.
”It’s nothing.” She replied, glancing at him from her bowl of cereals and then back. She was red-eyed and had clearly been crying, for which he had zero concern because she was at the age when she got emotional over what, to him, seemed to be the dumbest and most random crap. ”It’s just, I had this dream.” Akiko felt a chill of cold run down his spine.
”Don’t get all red-eyed over a dream. That’s some over the top emotional crap, even for you.”
She glared at him, but unexpectedly she agreed, and finished her breakfast in silence. He snuck a glance at her, as she frowningly ran a finger down the side of her face, from her temple down to her chin, exactly where Minels’ scar had been. It was a casual gesture he wouldn’t have thought anything of before, but now, it was a silent confirmation. ”Akiko, do you still have that wooden sword from when you used to practice kendo? Can I borrow it?” She said before she left.
”Yeah, unless mom threw it away it should be somewhere in the storage under the stairs. Speaking of borrowing stuff, can I borrow your collection of occult books?” Asami nodded with an uncharacteristic cold.
”I recommend starting with Alistair Crowley. A bunch of crap, but everything later references him. Then, the sigil works of Johannes Bureus.” Then she left the kitchen, and there was a loud BANG, presumably from her punching the wall somewhere out of Akikos sight.

Once the kitchen door closed, Akiko crumbled the remaining half of his sandwich in his hand. He had a new goal. Sure, Akiko didn’t know how to summon gods, but Rilduir knew, OH HE KNEW. Would it be easy? No, but neither was killing the Demon King after all. He could do it. He WOULD do it. He would summon that F***CKING GODDESS ALL THE WAY TO F***NG JAPAN, and HE WOULD STRANGLE HER FOR THIS, HE WOULD STRANGLE HER LIKE HE STRANGLED HIS SANDWICH.

————-

Well. That was long.

I was giggling when I finished reading this. I wonder if the goddess had a taste for incest? Either way, not cool.
 

Llamadragon

Active member
Joined
Jan 19, 2019
Messages
171
Points
43
I was giggling when I finished reading this. I wonder if the goddess had a taste for incest? Either way, not cool.
Who knows. Since I don’t, I’d probably find it funnier if she just accidentally screwed up, and is currently in mourning over the continuation of the sweet love story she won’t get to finish watching. :unsure:
 

JJglas

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2019
Messages
6
Points
3
Stan is your average man.
A man of good habits is Stan.
He looks both ways before crossing the road.
He weighs the risks when little kids run onto busy streets.
And does not try to save them!
"It's their fault" he says. "Dumb kids."

Stan has witnessed four cases of vehicular child slaughter in the past week.
While shaking his head Stan laments the lack of government funding put into road safety.
He could not hear the Goddess shouting "Come on already! Save them dammit! I'll empty a school at this rate!"
A bystander is an average man.
And Stan was content to remain a bystander now and forever more...

Stan is a brave man!
For lunch he ate the chicken vindaloo that was past sell by date.
A wasteful man is not Stan.
His guts churned as he jogged down the street, his destination the public toilets.
A truck drove by.

Stan began to cross the road.
Midstep off the walkway and onto the quiet streets.
He spotted a child patiently waiting under the pedestrian lights.
Stan did cease to cross the road.
Accidents happen to those that break good habits.
A truck drove by.

Stan is a patient man.
A man of limits is Stan.
After realizing neither he nor the child hit the button on the pedestrian lights.
The vindaloo roared in his bowels for vengeance!
A green light at last.
Stan ran fast!

A truck drove by.
Stan heard a tiny yelp behind him but had more pressing matters in mind.
Another poor child was added to the list.

Relief finally.
Stan sat in his small toilet cubicle contemplating life's mysteries...
Was there life after death?
Parallel dimensions?
A silly notion.

A truck drove by.
A truck turned to face a small public toilet building.
A truck started revving its engines.

Maybe he was just a little sad at those young lives he had seen pass away recently
and hoped they were living a new life somewhere like in those novels the kids enjoy these days.
"Oh what were they called Esskey? Aysakai?"

BEEP BEEP ITS ISEKEI TIME BITCH!!!
A seven-ton truck crashed through the wall.

Stan was not a dead man.
Through the darkness, a voice called for the holy hero.
But a holy hero is not Stan.
Opening his eyes Stan now stood in front of a princess in looked to be some fantasy castle.

The princess's gaze fell to Stan's lower half.
Stan's lower half laid bare.
She giggled "Heh below average."
And so Stan did despair.

In another part of this world five young kids were summoned and given extreme powers that gave them a
completely unfair advantage in life leading to them developing horrendous personalities.
It would take a very brave and patient man to teach these children good habits for life.
Unfortunately for Stan.
 

JustHANO

Active member
Joined
Dec 27, 2018
Messages
107
Points
28
He could not hear the Goddess shouting "Come on already! Save them dammit! I'll empty a school at this rate!"

Maybe he was just a little sad at those young lives he had seen pass away recently
and hoped they were living a new life somewhere like in those novels the kids enjoy these days.
"Oh what were they called Esskey? Aysakai?"

I was almost in tears, oh lord this is amazing. two of the funniest writing prompts I've seen, in a row. Do you have a novel by chance?
 

JJglas

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2019
Messages
6
Points
3
Glad you had a little giggle. I'm quite new to writing so no novel what you see is all there is.

Stan was originally meant to be Stan the serial killer in my mind. But I just switcheroo'ed killing habits for good habits and now he's just average Stan!
 

Llamadragon

Active member
Joined
Jan 19, 2019
Messages
171
Points
43
There were two humans left in the room now, making a final inspection before they left for the night. The first one wore the ornamental armor of a general, making a last patrol through the room with his demon-detecting magic crystal. It was a truly marvelous piece of magic equipment, capable of seeing through the illusion spells of nearly every kind of demon. The only one who might be able to slip through this kind of security was MAYBE the demon lord, but he wouldn’t know about the summoning in the first place and even if he did, he wouldn’t concern himself. When he was finished, and nodded to his companion who wore the robes of the arch mage of the royal court, the latter flicked his wrist and all the candles of the room extinguished. As they left and closed the door - as thick as a grown man was tall - the only light that remained was the faint glow of the summon circle.

... in this room that should have been empty, a shadow peeked out from up on a roof beam, then dropped to the floor with absolute silence, and absolute grace. Its owners eyes vaguely reflected a pale blue in the low light, like the eyes of a cat or a fox or some other nocturnal creature with good night vision. Furthermore, one could faintly make out the silhouette of majestic horns and a long, whip-like tail. The shadow waited a moment to make sure he was truly the only one in the room, and then he bent down over the circle, inspecting it.
”Lets see... the sigils for coordinates, where are they... ah, here, the mark of this feeble little human castle. Well lets change that shall we... what kind of sightseeing should we prepare for our honored guests?” He mused, long fangs bared in an amused smile during his stereotypical villaneous self-monologue. ”Perhaps the Ocean of a Thousand Drowned? Or the cliffs of the helldragons? Nah, they’re special guests and should be treated to the finest sights this world has to offer... lets just drop them in an active volcano...” The figure - aka, the demon lord - cackled evilly as he made some very slight, possibly imperceptible, changes to the circle while cackling evilly some more, pleased with his own genious. Those other Demon Lords of the other worlds were truly some dumb shits who deserved to be defeated, this was the efficient way to get rid of heroes.

... he paused before he snuck out, hesitating briefly about his choice of dropping them in a volcano. That meant there was no way for him to truly make sure they’d die obediently, since there would be no corpses for him to see with his own eyes.. But then he shrugged, what could possibly go wrong? Even if the lava didn’t kill them directly, the sulphurous fumes of a volcano are dangerous to inhale and would knock out a human being in a mere breath or two. Not much could go wrong. And even if they SOMEHOW survived that, they wouldn’t get their tutorial. They’d never even find out they were the long awaited heroes. They’d just be some lost kids in a volcano. Truly, the worst possible way to kick off an Isekai adventure, he thought, and cackled evilly again as he made the fundamental mistake that would eventually get him killed.
 
Last edited:

sage61

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 2, 2019
Messages
49
Points
58
HMMMM...

Rilduir, sorrowfully, traced the scar on the face of the woman he loved with his fingers. The scar tissue was thick, and a little rough to the touch, and felt colder than the rest of her skin, and though he knew that she had suffered more from the social backlash of having such a scar mar her otherwise breathtaking beauty, it was that coldness that stabbed the deepest daggers of guilt into his heart.
They hadn’t known each other when he cut her down. He was a rebel. She was the daughter of the former king, and the sister of the current one. He’d worn a mask to hide his face when his group attempted to assassinate her brother the king, and when they met again, she wore a mask to hide that scar. By that point, they were both very cold people, bitter about their circumstances, but fate had them travel together, and fight together, and grow together, struggling against their mutual enemy, the Demon King, who had plotted to make the two human factions rise against each other in the first place.
When they finally grew to the point where they had to admit to each other that they were in love, Minel had taken off her mask for the first time, smiling at him with a warmth he did not deserve. Rilduir was struck by another layer of the gravity of what he had done. Their relationship reset to nothing, she hated him when she found out the truth, and he couldn’t blame her. They would’ve split up there, but the Demon king was a threat that could not be ignored, and their duy as part of the Hero’s party and the fate of their nation weighed heavier than their own personal feelings. So they kept traveling together. Their feelings for each other was like a scab that healed a little, then got painfully ripped off, then healed, then got infected, then healed a little, then ripped off again and had salt thrown at it. Then, finally, healed.

Minel smiled at him, and leaned gently against his hand. Around them laid the corpses of fallen demons.. and their fallen comrades. They had won. At a price. Only they remained, and they had little time. Both of them could feel deaths fingers on their shoulders, and in the face of that great absolute, with no more time given to them, they were forced to face the fact that their differences meant nothing anymore. Minels smile was bright, and warm, and shone like a piece of the sun. He held her closer, noses toughing, and her breath tickling his skin.
”I don’t deserve you.” He said silently.
”Yep. You’re right, you definitely don’t.” Minel replied with a light laugh, and then she kissed him.
They remained in each others arms for the brief moments they still had in that life, and then they turned to dust.

... a voice rang out from the great white light. A goddess was sitting there, with a bowl of popcorn and a small mountain of used tissues. She was trying to keep herself from bawling from the looks of it but wasn’t doing a very good job.
”*Sniff* How... how romantic....! How tragic!!! *sniff sniff sniff BLOWS NOSE* Don’t worry, brave heroes! As a reward for your great sacrifice for this world, I will.. *hick* make sure you’ll reincarnate close to each other so that... so that you can be together in the next liiiifeeeeeaaaaawahaaaaaaaa.... *BAAAAWL*”


—————

Tears were flowing from Akiras’ eyes when he woke up. The dream he woke from had been so realistic, so horrifying and beautiful, and there was a hole in his heart in the shape of the non-existing woman he had dreamed about, who had never existed and whom he would therefore, obviously, never get to meet. He couldn’t help it, it felt like he had truly lost someone he loved, and he stayed in bed for a while and cried into his pillow until he felt stupid about it. He got dressed, washed his face in cold water until he didn’t look like a red-eyed mess anymore, and went down the stairs for breakfast.

His sister was already awake and abscentmindedly stirred her bowl of cereals.
”Morning. What’s wrong, Asami? You were excited about that event today, so why are you looking so down? Did something happen?” Akira asked as he filled his own bowl with yogurt, his voice devoid of any real interest.
”It’s nothing.” She replied, glancing at him from her bowl of cereals and then back. She was red-eyed and had clearly been crying, for which he had zero concern because she was at the age when she got emotional over what, to him, seemed to be the dumbest and most random crap. ”It’s just, I had this dream.” Akira felt a chill of cold run down his spine.
”Don’t get all red-eyed over a dream. That’s some over the top emotional crap, even for you.”
She glared at him, but unexpectedly she agreed, and finished her breakfast in silence. He snuck a glance at her, as she frowningly ran a finger down the side of her face, from her temple down to her chin, exactly where Minels’ scar had been. It was a casual gesture he wouldn’t have thought anything of before, but now, it was a silent confirmation. ”Akira, do you still have that wooden sword from when you used to practice kendo? Can I borrow it?” She said before she left.
”Yeah, unless mom threw it away it should be somewhere in the storage under the stairs. Speaking of borrowing stuff, can I borrow your collection of occult books?” Asami nodded with an uncharacteristic cold.
”I recommend starting with Alistair Crowley. A bunch of crap, but everything later references him. Then, the sigil works of Johannes Bureus.” Then she left the kitchen, and there was a loud BANG, presumably from her punching the wall somewhere out of Akiras sight.

Once the kitchen door closed, Akira crumbled the remaining half of his sandwich in his hand. He had a new goal. Sure, Akira didn’t know how to summon gods, but Rilduir knew, OH HE KNEW. Would it be easy? No, but neither was killing the Demon King after all. He could do it. He WOULD do it. He would summon that F***CKING GODDESS ALL THE WAY TO F***NG JAPAN, and HE WOULD STRANGLE HER FOR THIS, HE WOULD STRANGLE HER LIKE HE STRANGLED HIS SANDWICH.

————-

Well. That was long.
I was giggling when I finished reading this. I wonder if the goddess had a taste for incest? Either way, not cool.
The ending is so hilarious. :blob_joy: I was laughing like mad when I finished reading this even though the beginning sounded very much of tear jerking and angst. The goddess seems to have reincarnated them too 'close' for comfort. :sweat_smile: I can't wait to read more. Hopefully it won't end up as incest which is not so cool on my list. :sweating_profusely:

Stan is your average man.
A man of good habits is Stan.
He looks both ways before crossing the road.
He weighs the risks when little kids run onto busy streets.
And does not try to save them!
"It's their fault" he says. "Dumb kids."

Stan has witnessed four cases of vehicular child slaughter in the past week.
While shaking his head Stan laments the lack of government funding put into road safety.
He could not hear the Goddess shouting "Come on already! Save them dammit! I'll empty a school at this rate!"
A bystander is an average man.
And Stan was content to remain a bystander now and forever more...

Stan is a brave man!
For lunch he ate the chicken vindaloo that was past sell by date.
A wasteful man is not Stan.
His guts churned as he jogged down the street, his destination the public toilets.
A truck drove by.

Stan began to cross the road.
Midstep off the walkway and onto the quiet streets.
He spotted a child patiently waiting under the pedestrian lights.
Stan did cease to cross the road.
Accidents happen to those that break good habits.
A truck drove by.

Stan is a patient man.
A man of limits is Stan.
After realizing neither he nor the child hit the button on the pedestrian lights.
The vindaloo roared in his bowels for vengeance!
A green light at last.
Stan ran fast!

A truck drove by.
Stan heard a tiny yelp behind him but had more pressing matters in mind.
Another poor child was added to the list.

Relief finally.
Stan sat in his small toilet cubicle contemplating life's mysteries...
Was there life after death?
Parallel dimensions?
A silly notion.

A truck drove by.
A truck turned to face a small public toilet building.
A truck started revving its engines.

Maybe he was just a little sad at those young lives he had seen pass away recently
and hoped they were living a new life somewhere like in those novels the kids enjoy these days.
"Oh what were they called Esskey? Aysakai?"

BEEP BEEP ITS ISEKEI TIME BITCH!!!
A seven-ton truck crashed through the wall.

Stan was not a dead man.
Through the darkness, a voice called for the holy hero.
But a holy hero is not Stan.
Opening his eyes Stan now stood in front of a princess in looked to be some fantasy castle.

The princess's gaze fell to Stan's lower half.
Stan's lower half laid bare.
She giggled "Heh below average."
And so Stan did despair.

In another part of this world five young kids were summoned and given extreme powers that gave them a
completely unfair advantage in life leading to them developing horrendous personalities.
It would take a very brave and patient man to teach these children good habits for life.
Unfortunately for Stan.

This is mighty good as well. At first I was reading it halfheartedly as the poem like beginning kinda puts me off :blob_teehee: but as I read on, the plot just caught my heart. The way Stan the average man avoided all those goddess 'summons' is simply ingenious and funny. Totally love this short story too!!(y)
 
Last edited:
Top