Touchy subject

[Aader]

I have to write a scene, as I want to get my mc arrested for assault, the charges being seemingly overwhelming and then the eventual vindication. In the scene, our mc, discovers a girl being groped on a bus, he then breaks the guy's wrist. The guy then accuses the mc of being the harassing party, to which the girl is unsure. A third party ensures the camera footage from the bus is missing, so he ends up being charged.

My problem is, the due to personal reasons, these scenes piss me off, any tips?

 

[Tyranomaster]

I mean, it sounds like your goal is to upset the reader to later give resolution. If you are pissed off by it, sounds like it's about right.

 

[georgelee5786]

Such things are meant to invoke emotions in readers. If you feel pissed, ideally, the readers will feel pissed to. The whole point is to make them see the injustice, which should piss them off.

 

[Anon2024]

Hmm... what are you looking for advice on, how he responds to the situation or how bad the girl is going to be in falsely accusing him?

 

[Deleted member 54065]

I have to write a scene, as I want to get my mc arrested for assault, the charges being seemingly overwhelming and then the eventual vindication. In the scene, our mc, discovers a girl being groped on a bus, he then breaks the guy's wrist. The guy then accuses the mc of being the harassing party, to which the girl is unsure. A third party ensures the camera footage from the bus is missing, so he ends up being charged.

My problem is, the due to personal reasons, these scenes piss me off, any tips?

If you yourself is pissed, then you're going the right direction.

 

[Deleted member 113259]

If you yourself is pissed, then you're going the right direction.

Correct, but he's not there yet. He probably typed this on a computer. He should be mad enough to destroy it.

 

[Deleted member 54065]

Correct, but he's not there yet. He probably typed this on a computer. He should be mad enough to destroy it.

That's...

 

[Gryphon]

There's some questions I want to ask first. How is the girl unsure who groped her? Like, was the dude behind her or something? And even in that scenario, why would everyone just say the guy who broke the dude's wrist did it? Sure aggression or whatever, but that doesn't prove anything. And why did he break the dude's wrist? Is he just overly impulsive to a fault? There's a lot of way's to handle a scumbag that doesn't involve breaking their wrists and risking being counter-sued. Why is the video feed missing? Is it an intentional set-up like Jojo Stone Ocean? Just asking this because I want to be sure I'm pissed for the right reasons.

Writing tip I just came up with but is pretty much true in most circumstances: Just because something is designed to be written and felt a certain doesn't mean it will come off that way. If I'm busy thinking of the questions I mentioned above, I won't feel pissed because the situation is screwed. I'll be confused at how illogical it is. Also just because the writer feels a certain way toward the scene, that's irrelevant to how the reader will feel since the writer has a much better understanding about the scene than the reader ever will.

 

[lnv]

I have to write a scene, as I want to get my mc arrested for assault, the charges being seemingly overwhelming and then the eventual vindication. In the scene, our mc, discovers a girl being groped on a bus, he then breaks the guy's wrist. The guy then accuses the mc of being the harassing party, to which the girl is unsure. A third party ensures the camera footage from the bus is missing, so he ends up being charged.

My problem is, the due to personal reasons, these scenes piss me off, any tips?

If there are things you don't like to write about, then don't dwell on it. Personally whenever I want to get something out of the way cause it effects me emotionally, I just fit it all in 1 or 2 chapters even if it means writing much longer chapters than necessary

Overall, be aware of how your chapters end, cause what has the most memory to readers isn't the middle of a chapter but the end

 

[TheEldritchGod]

I have to write a scene, as I want to get my mc arrested for assault, the charges being seemingly overwhelming and then the eventual vindication. In the scene, our mc, discovers a girl being groped on a bus, he then breaks the guy's wrist. The guy then accuses the mc of being the harassing party, to which the girl is unsure. A third party ensures the camera footage from the bus is missing, so he ends up being charged.

My problem is, the due to personal reasons, these scenes piss me off, any tips?

Sounds overly complicated.
1) Make the bus packed as the camera was useless. That way no sneaky footage stealing. (Because, you know, I have no idea how the guy could steal the footage, given how vehicle cameras work. (I have to sit in front of one when I drive for my job. The driver doesn't have access and there is no physical media you can destroy unless you destroy the engine. It uploads directly to the company that manages the camera.)
2) Make the girl in on the scam. This whole thing is just a setup to shake some poor sap down who is foolish enough to try and help her. Because, you know, women are all evil and cannot be trusted and will betray you for any reason and I'm secretly Onision.

 

[Aader]

There's some questions I want to ask first. How is the girl unsure who groped her? Like, was the dude behind her or something? And even in that scenario, why would everyone just say the guy who broke the dude's wrist did it? Sure aggression or whatever, but that doesn't prove anything. And why did he break the dude's wrist? Is he just overly impulsive to a fault? There's a lot of way's to handle a scumbag that doesn't involve breaking their wrists and risking being counter-sued. Why is the video feed missing? Is it an intentional set-up like Jojo Stone Ocean? Just asking this because I want to be sure I'm pissed for the right reasons.

Writing tip I just came up with but is pretty much true in most circumstances: Just because something is designed to be written and felt a certain doesn't mean it will come off that way. If I'm busy thinking of the questions I mentioned above, I won't feel pissed because the situation is screwed. I'll be confused at how illogical it is. Also just because the writer feels a certain way toward the scene, that's irrelevant to how the reader will feel since the writer has a much better understanding about the scene than the reader ever will.

I don't know what Jojo stone ocean is. I get it's a JOJO reference, but I vehemently avoid that anime, only to piss my weeb friend off

As for the footage, I did mention a third party, I think. Basically a third party decides to intervene because mc is preventing his plans. When the perv began to grope her, she hunched up, which is a common response.

Correct, but he's not there yet. He probably typed this on a computer. He should be mad enough to destroy it.

No, can't afford to replace. Instead I went outback and shot up some steal plates.

Hmm... what are you looking for advice on, how he responds to the situation or how bad the girl is going to be in falsely accusing him?

Yes, I need advice on how to write the scene.

 

[melchi]

I have to write a scene, as I want to get my mc arrested for assault, the charges being seemingly overwhelming and then the eventual vindication. In the scene, our mc, discovers a girl being groped on a bus, he then breaks the guy's wrist. The guy then accuses the mc of being the harassing party, to which the girl is unsure. A third party ensures the camera footage from the bus is missing, so he ends up being charged.

My problem is, the due to personal reasons, these scenes piss me off, any tips?

I think eldritch suggestions are good though the more I think about it breaking a wrist seems like an odd injury to get from being stopped from groping.

So if person a grabs the offending limb and pulls it away unless they have some insane hand strength I don't think that it would be easy to do. Would it make more sense to dislocate the shoulder? I could see someone grabbing a wrist and forcing it behind their back more than it is supposed to go being a more likely injury. If they hit the hand with enough force to break it would that injure the woman being groped as well?

 

[Kenjona]

Eldritch makes some good suggestions.

My points are on a slightly different tangent. Breaking the perps wrist over a grope is an aggravated assault charge or similar depending on country. You are allowed to stop someone from committing an illegal act, but you have to use appropriate levels of force to do so.

If the guy was trying to rape her, breaking the wrist in the struggle while trying to stop them from doing so, ok. But not for a grope in most countries. Now spraining the perps wrist when twisting it away from touching the girl, would probably be considered reasonable force. Actually breaking it takes a lot of force and can be considered unreasonable, depending on how it happened and why.

So it boils down to, could the MC stop the grope with less force then breaking the perpetrators wrist; from the point of view of a "reasonable person".

A lot of discussion over degrees of force allowed is coming out in debates here in the USA, due to the "stand your ground" or "castle defense" laws. How much force is allowed and when, and what is subject to the "reasonable person standard".

 

[Corty]

Just watch some JAV vids for reference.

I mean, what the others said so far.

 

[Aaqil]

Just watch some JAV vids for reference.

I mean, what the others said so far.

 

[Gryphon]

I don't know what Jojo stone ocean is. I get it's a JOJO reference, but I vehemently avoid that anime, only to piss my weeb friend off

Jojo Stone Ocean is Part 6 of the series. Essentially the MC gets framed for a crime she witnessed but didn't commit, then her lawyer was paid to trick her into confessing for the crime. Everything goes their way and she's sent to prison. Also based. Always piss off the weebs.

As for the footage, I did mention a third party, I think. Basically a third party decides to intervene because mc is preventing his plans. When the perv began to grope her, she hunched up, which is a common response.

I'm only asking these questions now so you can make the scene work better. I've had moments where I had a scene play in my head only for me to write it down and be stuck figuring out how to write it cause I didn't think of everything.

Final question: How did the MC break the guy's wrist and the girl still doesn't know who was the one that did it? Sure, she hunches up first, but the next reaction would be to turn to see who's committing the crime unless threatened. But if she's threatened then she would've heard the dude's voice. Even if she is particularly startled, it would still be max two seconds until she turns around. So in those two seconds the MC would need to grab the guy, break his wrist, all while somehow the girl has no braincells and thinks the MC who's breaking the dude's wrist was the one that groped her.

In my personal opinion, I don't think the girl needs to be unaware of who it was that groped her. She can know that it was the dude that groped her instead of the MC. I say this because if there's no video feed of the crime, then it devolves into a he said she said scenario that wouldn't go anywhere. Because of that however, that leaves the fact that the MC broke the dude's wrist with no evidence for any sort of self-defense scenario. The scene would still play out perfectly fine, with the dude that committed the crime getting away pretty much scot free while the MC faces the brunt of consequences. In this case, the scene makes sense, would indeed piss me off, and opens up a mystery of what happened with the evidence.

 

[Spactacular]

I have to write a scene, as I want to get my mc arrested for assault, the charges being seemingly overwhelming and then the eventual vindication. In the scene, our mc, discovers a girl being groped on a bus, he then breaks the guy's wrist. The guy then accuses the mc of being the harassing party, to which the girl is unsure. A third party ensures the camera footage from the bus is missing, so he ends up being charged.

My problem is, the due to personal reasons, these scenes piss me off, any tips?

If you get annoyed, it means your writing it well in my honest opinion. I have written a few of such scenes and I find when I get worked up the writing flows better. i try to immerse myself in the MC's position and try to navigate from that perspective so smaller details are easier to create and naturally implement for later use. Ie, someone at the other side of the buss records it secretly and that's not deleted