Trying do some mythbusting: Do you need sexual experience to write smut better

[Anon2024]

No.
Real life experience isn’t good for smut.
Smut is about turning on the reader, similar to how porn is.
People don’t have sex in real life like they do in porn, and if they did they were virgins with no experience prior and were just copying stuff they watched.

Real sex that is good is usually emotional, repetitive and about bringing your partner to climax. It’s good because you have another live person there. Unless you’re twisted and have some weird fetishes, that’s how it is for most, and most enjoy it that way. Again, everyone is different, so having weird fetishes is also perfectly fine as long as you have a partner willing to do it with you.

Stimulating someone with descriptions of sexual encounters is a fully different matter because you’re trying to get them to touch themselves in physical self-love.

It’d be a mistake to equate good smut with good sex in real life. Expectations should be different.

 

[SailusGebel]

No.
Real life experience isn’t good for smut.
Smut is about turning on the reader, similar to how porn is.
People don’t have sex in real life like they do in porn, and if they did they were virgins with no experience prior and were just copying stuff they watched.

Real sex that is good is usually emotional, repetitive and about bringing your partner to climax. It’s good because you have another live person there. Unless you’re twisted and have some weird fetishes, that’s how it is for most, and most enjoy it that way. Again, everyone is different, so having weird fetishes is also perfectly fine as long as you have a partner willing to do it with you.

Stimulating someone with descriptions of sexual encounters is a fully different matter because you’re trying to get them to touch themselves in physical self-love.

It’d be a mistake to equate good smut with good sex in real life. Expectations should be different.

 

[Verdante]

It could make it better, but having good sex is a different skill from writing a good smut. Hot take: I don't think people care about 'good smut' (unless you're writing it in a well-crafted story and wanna write smut as an add-on). Some just want to read smut with their kinks and don't care about how realistic it is or how objectively good it is. They just wanna see people wank

 

[Jenn7575]

That's an interesting question, it gave me a chuckle. Since writers need to stick together, I would suggest by starting in your mind and creating the experience from a five W perspective and giving it as much of a Waoo! angle as possible. The benefit to writing is as writers we can live in our imagination, which is in essence, a place that can't be touched unless we are willing to be subjected to it. Take care, Indicterra, and best wishes in your endeavors. -Jenn :)

 

[KuruKinaar]

I'd say it depends what you're going for: do you want it to be realistic or fiction? Real experiences aren't always going to be heated moments that are mind blowing, it has it's ups and downs (good and bad). Fictional experiences are always going to be perfect and extremely fantasized, the characters are going to be heated, climax, and so on. That's a good smut to read, but is it truly relatable for everyone? Probably not.
I would say maybe because it truly depends on many factors: reader preference, author preference, attention to detail, realistic or truly fictional.

 

[Succubiome]

Nope, in the same way I don't need to experience being eaten by a dragon to write about it.

The thing with being eaten by a dragon is that very few people have the real life experience to go "this is unrealistic" when you get minor details wrong.

...but that said, I don't think you need any sort of experience to write anything. It definitely helps with the realism of it, though.

 

[RepresentingEnvy]

The thing with being eaten by a dragon is that very few people have the real life experience to go "this is unrealistic" when you get minor details wrong.

...but that said, I don't think you need any sort of experience to write anything. It definitely helps with the realism of it, though.

But there is still a realistic way to get eaten by a dragon, and an unrealistic way to get eaten by a dragon. I don't think realism matters as much as believability. Or how do I say it? You need enough realism only to be believable?

 

[Succubiome]

But there is still a realistic way to get eaten by a dragon, and an unrealistic way to get eaten by a dragon. I don't think realism matters as much as believability. Or how do I say it? You need enough realism only to be believable?

Vermislitude?

I imagine there's a spectrum of realism on being-eaten-by-a-dragon writing.

 

[RepresentingEnvy]

Vermislitude?

I imagine there's a spectrum of realism on being-eaten-by-a-dragon writing.

I didn't know that word, but yes, that is exactly what I am talking about!

 

[TheEldritchGod]

I thing the original poster is just trying to convince any virgins out there to have sex with 'em.

 

[Indicterra]

I thing the original poster is just trying to convince any virgins out there to have sex with 'em.

There goes my super secret plan down the drain, lol

But no I am married

 

[J_Chemist]

My smut before seggs was mediocre. My smut after seggs was also mediocre.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and I think my writing is trash either way. However, after seggs I did find it easier to come up with proper adjectives and found myself capable of going "oh hey what would I do in this moment? I should probably do X in order to get her to do Y" in a realistic manner, which helped bring to life the scenes I was writing. Prior to the glorious card exchange, I sort of winged it based of adult content I was obviously lying for in order to watch.

In essence, experience taught me the real meaning of "velvet heat" when before I was like "fuck it we ball".

 

[TheEldritchGod]

There goes my super secret plan down the drain, lol
But no I am married

Ah. Of Course.
*EXAGGERATED WINK AND HEAD NOD WHILE GIVING A THUMBS UP*

 

[Corty]

If I would incorporate my real-life experience into my smut scenes then it would be half as exciting.

 

[HungrySheep]

Nah.

 

[Erios909]

To write good smut, you need to read and write lots of good smut.