What would be more off-putting in a synopsis/blurb for you?

[yansusustories]

So I wasn't quite sure how to put this in a short way in the title or which part of the forums to even post this in but I'd like some responses from readers and not just authors so here we go ...
I am posting a collection of bl short stories that has the titles of said stories worked into the blurb/synopsis. The problem is that we can't format the synopsis with italics on SH so there are currently uppercase words throughout the text that would normally have to be lowercase. I was wondering whether this might be off-putting and if you guys would prefer another way for authors to do that (for example, writing the titles as 'x y z' or [x y z]) or if you think it isn't a problem since you think it's obvious after all?

Spoiler: The blurb in question in case you need an example to judge

Hello, Handome Stranger!
Your voice is A Whisper in the Night, your Sweet Fragrance a memory I am unable to forget. You are my good Brother, my Study Companion, my Safe Haven, Heaven‘s Gift to me.
Maybe it was Love at Second Sight that brought us together. The Next Natural Step would be our Two Confessions and to Make It Legal at last. From the First Time we met, to our Anniversary or to our Wedding Night, I want to Treasure Every Day with you and tell you ‚Welcome Home‘ when you return in the evening.
A Bowl of Rice and Ten Pieces of Gold are the same to me as long as they‘re shared with you. I want to go through the Good Times and the bad times with you. I Dare you to Fight for It if we are ever about to lose hope. It‘s just like an Adventure that the two of us will only be able to pass together.
If you have to Walk Alone for a stretch of this path, then I will be Waiting for You at the finish line whether it‘s for Five Days or Twenty-five Years, not caring if we move Into a Palace or live in a Lonely Hut. I would only be Brokenhearted if you weren‘t with me at the end.

So please, Promise Yourself to Me because among all the men of this world, I am unable to choose anyone but you.

 

[Shadow_Tempest]

It is definitely not obvious ... use quotes it looks good ig

 

[CupcakeNinja]

NIgga, wait...the uppercase letters are supposed to represent italics? But everything is in uppercase. is that just because everything is supposed to be in italics or is it that there are just so many words that are talicized in the original? I mean the former makes sense, but i dont know why words like "wedding night" and "good times" need to be in italic unless everything else is too. i dunno its just weird. Look man, just drop the capitals. Looks odd. I dont think it needs quotation marks either.

Its written as if its in first person perspective anyway. Let it stay that way.

 

[UYScuti]

I wouldn’t use the capitals. It makes it a pain to read. If you do want the titles to stand out then quotes are better. I don’t think you need either, anyway.

 

[yansusustories]

It is definitely not obvious ... use quotes it looks good ig

I wouldn’t use the capitals. It makes it a pain to read. If you do want the titles to stand out then quotes are better. I don’t think you need either, anyway.

Yes, that is exactly what I feared. Thanks for your opinion! I think I'll try with the quotation marks first then, see how it looks, and maybe drop those as well if it's still as much of a pain in the ass to read. Which I actually fear will happen because it's likely gonna look crowded.

NIgga, wait...the uppercase letters are supposed to represent italics? But everything is in uppercase. is that just because everything is supposed to be in italics or is it that there are just so many words that are talicized in the original? I mean the former makes sense, but i dont know why words like "wedding night" and "good times" need to be in italic unless everything else is too. i dunno its just weird. Look man, just drop the capitals. Looks odd. I dont think it needs quotation marks either.

Its written as if its in first person perspective anyway. Let it stay that way.

No, no, it's not everything But, like, there are 30 stories overall so fitting all those titles (and yep, "wedding night" and "good times" are two of the titles) in there does likely make it seem as if everything was a title. The capitalization was just because in the title itself it's naturally capitalized. It was originally supposed to look like this:

So, just the titles would be italicized while the rest of the text is normal. I felt that because it was italicized, the uppercase letters weren't as much of a problem because the titles stood out as what they were and the whole text would likely be read differently. But since it doesn't work that way on SH it just looks really odd now.

 

[TotallyHuman]

Looks hard to read without the italics

 

[Stratothrax]

+1 on hard to read. Quotation marks would fit better imo, or UK single quotation marks 'like this' I've seen that used as a replacement for italic emphasis before.

 

[BenJepheneT]

If you write your paragraphs
like this

Automatic
Fuck you

 

[CupcakeNinja]

Yes, that is exactly what I feared. Thanks for your opinion! I think I'll try with the quotation marks first then, see how it looks, and maybe drop those as well if it's still as much of a pain in the ass to read. Which I actually fear will happen because it's likely gonna look crowded.


No, no, it's not everything But, like, there are 30 stories overall so fitting all those titles (and yep, "wedding night" and "good times" are two of the titles) in there does likely make it seem as if everything was a title. The capitalization was just because in the title itself it's naturally capitalized. It was originally supposed to look like this:
View attachment 4198
So, just the titles would be italicized while the rest of the text is normal. I felt that because it was italicized, the uppercase letters weren't as much of a problem because the titles stood out as what they were and the whole text would likely be read differently. But since it doesn't work that way on SH it just looks really odd now.

okay now see that makes SO Much more sense. It reads good now too. Really makes a difference. At first it made me not want to look at it. Now it seems pretty damn creative, fitting those titles in like that

 

[Queenfisher]

I have trouble reading the actual book's version every time on my ipad, but that's because it's so old, it can't update its browser and so every single title in this synopsis just disappears, leaving the text somewhat bizarre and gappy.

But I figured that only I had problems with it on my old browser and most others saw it normally? Sorry to hear it doesn't even show the titles correctly. I guess the "" and '' would also look a bit weird because there's just so many of them, it might feel overwhelming to read through. Perhaps the [ ] would be most invisible? I dunno...

And just wanted to join in on admiration with regards to how original and cute it is when it works the way it's meant to be ^^.

 

[YuriDoggo]

Welcome to this episode of <Titles longer than most LN titles>

 

[IDreamNovels]

『Maybe, you can use these brackets』
I don't know what they are called.

Edit:
【Or these.】

 

[Jemini]

I think the issue is that your synopsis is using the 1st person deep format. It's not bad to use 1st person, but if you do then it should be 1st person omnicient or 1st person retrospective. 1st person deep, the perspective of being in the head of that character and at the current moment using only knowledge that character has, that specific perspective is off-putting in and of itself in a synopsis.

EDIT: Ok, actually, what was I thinking? That synopsis is not 1st person deep. It's 2nd person deep. That's a writing style that's just off-putting in general and only really works in choose-your-own-adventure style novels. So, yeah. That's your problem. 2nd person in any form is just a difficult to pull off writing style.

 

[yansusustories]

okay now see that makes SO Much more sense. It reads good now too. Really makes a difference. At first it made me not want to look at it. Now it seems pretty damn creative, fitting those titles in like that

Ah, sorry, I probably should have put the screenshot into the post right away so it would be easier to see what I mean Looking at my original post now, I guess I really didn't explain well.

every single title in this synopsis just disappears, leaving the text somewhat bizarre and gappy.

That was exactly what made me ask. I originally followed the suggestion to format it on another site and just copy it over which makes it appear in italics even though I can't format it in SH directly. I always thought that worked well but when I opened SH on my phone yesterday, I also just got gray squares so I guessed it'll be the same for other people as well. So I changed it to just plain text but felt it read really, really badly that way because of the seemingly random uppercase letters. Looks like I didn't know how to write

Welcome to this episode of <Titles longer than most LN titles>

Not quite sure what you mean. The collection itself is literally just called "Choosing You" and the titles of the short stories are mostly <5 words as well?

If you write your paragraphs
like this

Automatic
Fuck you

This is actually quite funny because I didn't have spaces between my paragraphs originally but then people on SH asked me to add them so I did Guess there's no way to do right by everyone.

『Maybe, you can use these brackets』
I don't know what they are called.

Edit:
【Or these.】

Ah, true, these might be alternatives as well. And I guess people on here might be more used to them as well since they're often used in novels here. I guess I'll give them a try too and see what looks better! Thanks for the suggestion

Ok, actually, what was I thinking? That synopsis is not 1st person deep. It's 2nd person deep. That's a writing style that's just off-putting in general and only really works in choose-your-own-adventure style novels. So, yeah. That's your problem. 2nd person in any form is just a difficult to pull off writing style.

And this is why I asked readers I know it's not an often-used style but it's supposed to be reminiscent of a love letter since it's a romance collection. It's setting the tone of the included stories and gives an overview while in a sense adding yet another story to the collection. So it was deliberately done in this way.

Anyway, thank you everyone for your suggestions! I'll try all versions, see what looks better/easier to read, and then go with that. You've really helped me a lot!