Since I got nostalgic and asked for my old DM for the stat sheets in my first ever DnD adventure~ I finally got the sheets for the most memorable event in the adventure.
The pregnant women powered Nuke.
Since the concept is both disgusting and very interesting, I will curse your mind with what I found. And I'm not sure, maybe this fucking abomination of the human mind will drive you to write better (idk how but you do you).
So, a bit of backstory is needed for the creation of this monstrosity. My party was an evil party, with me being a Warlock.
Our party was requested to rescue a gang boss' son from execution. My PC was rescued from execution by my party from a very rightfully angry village so we had that connection. But the difference is I was roleplaying a batshit insane Warlock and the gang boss' son is a normal thug. So while on the rescue mission, I made a sacrificial circle around the entire city without being spotted. After the mission was successful, my party went outside of the blast zone... and I sacrificed every single citizen to my Patron, including the gang we helped.
The Warforge and our Rogue on the team fucked up an infiltration mission, decided to yolo it and castrated a prince out of sheer pettiness, then proceed to take his penis with my party as a souvenir. Later, we confronted the king and he used the dried-up penis to backstab the king for fun before the real fight started.
The Druid is a special case, they were the protagonist of this adventure so they were isekai'd back when the genre wasn't dry bone yet. Well, he take a look at the Geneva list of banned weapons and tactics, and treated it as a to-do list. One of their most memorable moment was sinking an entire city in a sea of fire St. Olga style, and even said "Saintess Olga sends her regard!", which caused a war between that kingdom and the Holy Church since there was an ACTUAL St. Olga in this world.
And finally, the fucking Monk, where do I even start with this fucker? Out of the war crime list, theirs outnumbered the rest of the party combined. They had a fetish for castration so... every boss we encountered, if they are a guy, she castrated them and put their dicks Into the Dick Bag. The DM later told us the Monk had been on solo adventures behind our back on some days, not to grind (because the milestone system is easier to use), no, but to collect penises.
So, how does the DM make something far worse than a literal collection of four potentially war criminals? One of the later boss was a scientist/Bishop of the Holy Church. With the ongoing war, he found a research document left in a room from one of the times the Holy Church hired my party for some shady things, and proceeded to create a fucking death ray!
Like all evil fantasy Religions, they took advantage of their believers, taking all pregnant women from all races in the Religion, forcefully or not, to power the machine. Of course, this has a lot to do with us but at first, we wanted to sit back and watch the weapon firing, until the DM revealed that the death ray was aimed in the general direction of where one of my party's favorite NPC lives.
Obviously, we can't let the weapon be fired. One thing leads to another, the weapon was redirected and aimed at the opposite direction. Proceeded to wake up Bahamut and the dragon confronted us as the final boss a few sessions later.
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So, how does the weapon operate?
Turns out, it wasn't using pregnant women as power, but the fetuses inside the women. Fetuses are the line between Life and Creation, adding the element of Death using magical means will create a powerful arcane reaction, and potentially destroy the whole world if enough fetuses were killed.
Of course, depending on the age of the fetus and what race they were from, different fetuses generate different amounts of power. The DM even had sheets for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN in the battle.
Eight months pregnant generate the most amount of energy in human women.
Six months for Tabaxi
Two to three years for Elves, depending on what kind of Elf.
on and on, basically from what I had gathered, the closer to birth the more power they generate.
That's not all, the mood of the victims also factored in. For maximum efficiency, the women need to be relaxed so the scientist drugged the women with fantasy weed.
So that's the conditions of the fight, my party needs to avoid killing drugged-up women while trying to stop the doomsday weapon from firing. Obviously, that was too hard for a bunch of deranged psychos so the Druid did what any sensible man would do, requesting his sugar mommy, NATURE ITSELF, to move the gun away and point in a different direction. Accidentally shot the good Dragon God Bahamut's house on the mortal plane! But we did save about 70% of the women, with the combined effect of me the Warlock, and the Rogue, while the other two more insane members are fighting against the Bishop, who tried to resist the power of Mother Nature.
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With everything done, I hope you have bleach with you because what I wrote above is just the summarised version, the DM had FOUR full pages of what this thing can do. As per copyright, the Pregnant Women Powered Death Machine is owned and created by the DM, I have no part in creating it and was told they have one lying around in every campaign after he made this one.
Sounds like someone read a pamphlet from one of those fake "crisis pregnancy centers" right after watching one of the silly "giant spirit bomb" episodes of Dragonball Z
