Wrong type of apocalypse

[Agentt]

For your whole life, you have been preparing for a zombie apocalypse.
You hoard guns.
You hammer nails to bats.
You learn to accurately throw stones in case bullets run out.
You learn karate and the art of ripping hands off.
You make a bunker which can contain 120 people for 120 days.

But when the apocalypse rolls in, turns out, it is a vampire apocalypse.
Vampires are not affected by bullets, stones or martial arts, they are too strong for that.

They regenerate too!

Not to mention, vampires look exactly like humans.

Vampires also have a keen sense of smell so they can track your bunker. Even though your door is made of reinforced steel, nothing two or three vampires can't do, unlike zombies which just keep walking into it and give up, hence keeping even hundreds out.


What do you do to, you know, survive and become a hero.

 

[Napelynn]

What do you do to, you know, survive and become a hero.

Find other people and form a group with them.

 

[Malonymous]

Band together with the other human survivors during the day, mark all the humans under direct sunlight and then everyone else who comes out at night must be a vampire. Then build some big ass combat nail guns. Stake those vampires through the heart with a few well-placed shots.

 

[Agentt]

Find other people and form a group with them.

And? All I hear is you are preparing an all you can eat buffet?

 

[High-in-the-skys]

Grow garlic, if the bunker have a way to grow underneath. Fill the living room and entrance with mirrors... btw are they sentient and can be talked to?

 

[Agentt]

Band together with the other human survivors during the day, mark all the humans under direct sunlight and then everyone else who comes out at night must be a vampire.

All? Sounds like something which will reduce morale

Then build some big ass combat nail guns. Stake those vampires through the heart with a few well-placed shots.

Grow garlic, if the bunker have a way to grow underneath. Fill the living room and entrance with mirrors... btw are they sentient and can be talked to?

Yes

 

[Napelynn]

Yes

If they are sentient just bribe them.

 

[High-in-the-skys]

All? Sounds like something which will reduce morale


Yes

Why would you even consider them as "apocalypse" if they can be talked to? What about the cute innocent vampires that you might kill? #VampireRightsMatters

 

[Malonymous]

All? Sounds like something which will reduce morale

The zeds—er, vampires look exactly like humans? So if they're indistinguishable otherwise, gotta make some kind of code to tell who's who

IRL troll humans can be left as vampire food

 

[Agentt]

Why would you even consider them as "apocalypse" if they can be talked to? What about the cute innocent vampires that you might kill?

The kind of person who betrays the complete humanity just for some floof.

#VampireRightsMatter

Human rights matter too. And they refuse to go to court.

If they are sentient just bribe them.

So...you will give them your blood in return of them not sucking out your blood?

 

[High-in-the-skys]

Human rights matter too. And they refuse to go to court.

They don't accept court? Maybe they need a "little" persuasion... By that I mean hiring priest to get galons of holy water sprinkled every night. Hope they go to court now...

The kind of person who betrays the complete humanity just for some floof.

Haha, I'm too lonely that I could even accept a vampire...

 

[Leti]

Vampires also have a keen sense of smell so they can track your bunker. Even though your door is made of reinforced steel, nothing two or three vampires can't do,

Getting vampires inside your bunker? Just say no. Vampires cannot legally enter your bunker without your consent.

 

[Napelynn]

So...you will give them your blood in return of them not sucking out your blood?

Yes. Or even better, you can make a human/blood farm. Make the vampires learn that they will get more food if they stay by humans then when they attack humans.

 

[Agentt]

Haha, I'm too lonely that I could even accept a vampire...

That would make a good character to introduce in your book.

Yes. Or even better, you can make a human/blood farm. Make the vampires learn that they will get more food if they stay by humans then when they attack humans.

Downgrading to cattle is not much better..

 

[Generik0]

 

[Agentt]

Getting vampires inside your bunker? Just say no. Vampires cannot legally enter your bunker without your consent.

Humans say no when you want to enter their bunker? Just say no. Humans cannot say no without your consent.

Now that the vampire problem has been solved, please tell us how to get rid of that god forsaken abomination that is in your pfp?

 

[Napelynn]

Downgrading to cattle is not much better..

If it’s just a bit of blood being taken from me every so often, I don’t care. Not if it keeps me from being killed.

 

[Agentt]

If it’s just a bit of blood being taken from me every so often, I don’t care. Not if it keeps me from being killed.

I just imagined that vampires are like 20 feet high and just go to nearby Starbucks, poke you with a straw, and after sipping for a bit, they throw it complaining it tastes too much like lemons...

 

[Generik0]

Now that the vampire problem has been solved, please tell us how to get rid of that god forsaken abomination that is in your pfp?

What's up with my pfp? It's perfect for vampires doesn't it? Very dark?

 

[Agentt]

What's up with my pfp? It's perfect for vampires doesn't it? Very dark?

Please, everyone knows that a shadowy man in a bloody forest is a death flag stronger than satan himself