Corty's Feedback Corner (Kinda... Read the first post!) --- Closed until further notice.

[Corty]

Diary of an Adventuring Vampire

A vampire, an elf, a great spirit, a sealed god, and a princess form a party. What could possibly go wrong? Follow Ei and her friends as they dive into dungeons, travel around the world, and inadvertently cause chaos. Below the Kingdom of Astraeus, the Cult of...

www.scribblehub.com

• Cover

Nice. The title is well readable, even on a small scale and I don't mind its simplicity. Anyone who looks for a vampy story gets to see it front and center so clicks are guaranteed from those groups.

• Title

Same here. Straight to the point and let me know it will be about a vampire who goes on an adventure. The easiest way to pull people in who are looking for a story like this.

• Synopsis

A bit short to my taste but I get it. It sets up the premise, expanding on the title of the story to tell the readers that we won't just get a vampy who goes on a D&D adventure. You caught me off guard with the "NULL" format, nice. I just hope it isn't overused, my advice would be not to put it always like that whenever they are mentioned. But once in a while? Nice. My only gripe is that it feels a little bit short. This is a personal preference only, for maaaany readers this is more than enough to decide whether to read it or not.

• Tags

All good on this front.

• Chapter Titles

Hm. They are fine but I see some meme-ish titles here. I don't know what to make of it. Should dial back on it or include a comedy/parody tag somewhere. Other than those? All good.

Final thoughts:

• Hm... Sounds nice. You got my attention. (Good.)

 

[Azure_Fog]

• Cover

Nice. The title is well readable, even on a small scale and I don't mind its simplicity. Anyone who looks for a vampy story gets to see it front and center so clicks are guaranteed from those groups.

• Title

Same here. Straight to the point and let me know it will be about a vampire who goes on an adventure. The easiest way to pull people in who are looking for a story like this.

• Synopsis

A bit short to my taste but I get it. It sets up the premise, expanding on the title of the story to tell the readers that we won't just get a vampy who goes on a D&D adventure. You caught me off guard with the "NULL" format, nice. I just hope it isn't overused, my advice would be not to put it always like that whenever they are mentioned. But once in a while? Nice. My only gripe is that it feels a little bit short. This is a personal preference only, for maaaany readers this is more than enough to decide whether to read it or not.

• Tags

All good on this front.

• Chapter Titles

Hm. They are fine but I see some meme-ish titles here. I don't know what to make of it. Should dial back on it or include a comedy/parody tag somewhere. Other than those? All good.

Final thoughts:

• Hm... Sounds nice. You got my attention. (Good.)

NULL is generally just bolded, nothing more. There’s no formatting for the description so I went with Zalgo text since I have used it with NULL on occasion. As for the meme-ish titles, I added comedic undertone to the tags so hopefully that helps a bit. I might update the synopsis to have a mention of comedy in it as well.

Edit: Almost forgot to say thanks, so, thanks for the feedback :D

 

[EldritchPotato]

Oooooo, do mine please :). Pick from below:

 

[Corty]

@EldritchPotato
Went with the first

• Cover

Looking good and stylish, maybe the text could be a little bigger and outlined with a color but that is maybe just my personal taste.

• Title

No issues here, it already lays out that this book is going to be steamy~

• Synopsis

Hm. To summarize it, it is bland. And some sentences feel weird. I think the synopsis needs a rewrite or at least a rework. It just doesn't feel right and doesn't really entice (at least me) to read further. It makes me think of generic fantasy things and there is no hook to make me read further.

• Tags

All good on this front.

• Chapter Titles

Besides the numbers, I would be happy to have sub-titles. Of course, it isn't everyone's cup of tea but I think it would be a nice addition as it would also be an option to mark which chapters are the smutty ones.

Final thoughts:

• Nothing looked interesting. (It needs work. Not bad, not good)
  • The synopsis drags the rating down a lot.

 

[EldritchPotato]

@EldritchPotato
Went with the first

• Cover

Looking good and stylish, maybe the text could be a little bigger and outlined with a color but that is maybe just my personal taste.

• Title

No issues here, it already lays out that this book is going to be steamy~

• Synopsis

Hm. To summarize it, it is bland. And some sentences feel weird. I think the synopsis needs a rewrite or at least a rework. It just doesn't feel right and doesn't really entice (at least me) to read further. It makes me think of generic fantasy things and there is no hook to make me read further.

• Tags

All good on this front.

• Chapter Titles

Besides the numbers, I would be happy to have sub-titles. Of course, it isn't everyone's cup of tea but I think it would be a nice addition as it would also be an option to mark which chapters are the smutty ones.

Final thoughts:

• Nothing looked interesting. (It needs work. Not bad, not good)
  • The synopsis drags the rating down a lot.

Hmmm alright, any further suggestions for the synopsis? What exactly do you feel doesn't work?

 

[Corty]

Hmmm alright, any further suggestions for the synopsis? What exactly do you feel doesn't work?

Mostly it sounds bland and generic. Need more.... life into it. Something that gives it oomph, I don't really know how to word it. But a little bit of shock of being reincarnated, fears of the mc or her delight of getting a new life because the previous sucked. what are her motivations? things like this. Something that hooks the reader and makes them want to know more besides, yeah, fucking will be included. A lot.

 

[Allemite]

Looking forward to the lesson.

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/897062/everything-is-connected/

 

[Corty]

Looking forward to the lesson.

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/897062/everything-is-connected/

• Cover

It's okay. It has not much connection to the title or to the synopsis at first glance, but that is not a big problem. What I would change is the placement of the title and your name on it. It feels weird like how it is now.

• Title

Hm. I had to read it a few times to feel how it tasted in my mind. Just the title, nothing else. But I think I like it. I don't know if it would catch my attention on the first try, but yeah, I like it. If I saw it pop up frequently it would probably make me click on it.

• Synopsis

It is okay. What I would change in it is to leave out the "this story is" part and replace it simply with "Jay inadvertently awakened [...]" Explaining it simply, from the point of view of the narrator. But it may be a personal preference, just a tip.

• Tags

I would like to see more tags, especially because you numbered the chapters in a way that gives a sense this is going to be long. With more tags that will only be true in the future, a reader can decide more easily if they want to read it or not. It is a kind of foreshadowing without spoiling things.

• Chapter Titles

All good on this front, and by the numbering it suggests it will be a long story which is good.

Final thoughts:

• Nothing looked interesting. (It needs work. Not bad, not good)
  • I think the cover needs a bit of work. Mostly in the title placement and/or coloring.
  • It needs more tags, if not filling it with all 25 slots, at least a dozen is a good amount to have.

 

[Allemite]

• Cover

It's okay. It has not much connection to the title or to the synopsis at first glance, but that is not a big problem. What I would change is the placement of the title and your name on it. It feels weird like how it is now.

• Title

Hm. I had to read it a few times to feel how it tasted in my mind. Just the title, nothing else. But I think I like it. I don't know if it would catch my attention on the first try, but yeah, I like it. If I saw it pop up frequently it would probably make me click on it.

• Synopsis

It is okay. What I would change in it is to leave out the "this story is" part and replace it simply with "Jay inadvertently awakened [...]" Explaining it simply, from the point of view of the narrator. But it may be a personal preference, just a tip.

• Tags

I would like to see more tags, especially because you numbered the chapters in a way that gives a sense this is going to be long. With more tags that will only be true in the future, a reader can decide more easily if they want to read it or not. It is a kind of foreshadowing without spoiling things.

• Chapter Titles

All good on this front, and by the numbering it suggests it will be a long story which is good.

Final thoughts:

• Nothing looked interesting. (It needs work. Not bad, not good)
  • I think the cover needs a bit of work. Mostly in the title placement and/or coloring.
  • It needs more tags, if not filling it with all 25 slots, at least a dozen is a good amount to have.

Nice. I'll work on these, especially the cover. I haven't really given it much thought. Thank you very much. I really appreciate this.

 

[Dredd_Sama]

Beyond the Rift
Please give feedback here.
This is my first time writing something like this ... but i am proud of what i have in mind for the future of this story .. hope it reaches that point

 

[Sagacious_Punk]

Hello, Corty!

If this thread is still active, please offer your opinion on The Celestial Way:

The Celestial Way

When you have lost everything, can you still find the way among the stars? Ferrtau the Lightbringer has declared war on reality itself. Driven insane with grief, he ravages the world of Terra Para, seeking to take control of the Shard, which will enable him to attain his mad quest....

www.scribblehub.com

Thanks is advance!

Regards,
Sagacious

PS. The full list of chapters can be found in "A Table of Contents".

 

[OyoJan]

Well, here's my story. I hope it's good!

Divinians | Scribble Hub

 

[SalivaSpittingWorm]

Hey. Hey.
Wow, this sounds interesting. And kind of fun!

Would you look at one of mine? I am God or The Villainess. You can do both if you want.
Thanks in advance for any response.

 

[Verdante]

This sounds cool! Here's mine, thank you!! https://www.scribblehub.com/series/890910/altered-threads-of-fate-gl-isekai/

 

[CubicleHermit]

This sounds interesting as well, LMK what you think of the synopsis and tags:

My Best Friend is a Prince from Another World

High school friends Mark and Joel have their lives uprooted when Joel discovers that his late mother was a princess who fled from another world. With the King old and infirm, Joel is asked to return to that world and take his place as the rightful heir. Before that, he...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Corty]

Well, I totally missed the notifications here, so... sorry for that.

Anyway, let's go in order:

@Dredd_Sama Sorry, I only do SH books.

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@Sagacious_Punk

• Cover

Really nice and clean, and everything is visible and readable. Perfect.

• Title

In sync with the cover, it sounds interesting and has an air of grandeur about it.

• Synopsis

Good. I guess from it, we are reading about the three main characters of the story, and after reading it and looking at the cover, it made perfect sense. I wouldn't change a thing.

• Tags

I am a tag whore, so I would love to see a bit more, but the ones present perfectly describe what to expect from it, so it's just a me problem.

• Chapter Titles

Needs fixing. Just looking at it feels like looking at red flags. For one, I would leave out the all-capital chapter namings. I would bring it under one unified structure as having lowercase titles, full uppercase titles, then a mix of the two... it is a clusterfuck and will deter readers from picking it up.

Final thoughts:

• To the reading list it goes! (Very interesting!)
  • Chapter titles need fixing ASAP, though.

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@OyoJan 404 error on the link

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@SalivaSpittingWorm I am rating both at the same time.

• Cover

Both are good except for the text. I would redo it. It needs a change, as it looks... weird. I would suggest:

Design Book Covers Online for Free | Adobe Express

The Adobe Express free online book cover creator helps you easily create your own custom book covers that attract readers. All creative skill levels are welcome.

www.adobe.com

It is totally free and easy to use; no programs are needed to download.

• Title

Err, I dislike long titles. But it is a trend that is prevalent nowadays, so that is the boomer talking in me. I just prefer snappy two to max four-word titles. Too many titles are like this, and it becomes a blur for me.

• Synopsis

Both are okay, but from the two books, I prefer the second one. That is a good synopsis, and it intrigued me much more than the first (the villainess) one. Felt more built up, more thought out, dunno; the second one felt better.

• Tags

All is fine in this department. Me like many tags.

• Chapter Titles

All good. From the two, once again, the second book's version I liked more, but that is so minor you could call me a nitpicker.

Final thoughts:

• Hm... Sounds nice. You got my attention. (Good.)
  • The covers need fixing, though.

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@Verdante

• Cover

Clean and simple, I like it. The only thing is, the "written by" part is barely readable, so it either needs a replacement if you want to include it or just leave it off the cover altogether.

• Title

I like it. Yeah, simple as that.

• Synopsis

Start with one thing and throw in a twist. I did not expect the second part of the synopsis. Huh. Nice. Very nice. This was a pleasant surprise.

• Tags

Nice and clear; I like it when I can get a proper feeling of what the story will be about from the tags. Maybe a few more would be nice, but that is a me thing.

• Chapter Titles

Chapter titles would make it even better, but I know it could be hard to name every chapter.

Final thoughts:

• Hm... Sounds nice. You got my attention. (Good.)

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@CubicleHermit

• Cover

Nice cover. It reminds me of @Hans.Trondheim 's works. Clean colors, everything is readable. Nice.

• Title

Tells the main plot of the story; there are no misdirections here.

• Synopsis

I feel it serves as a prologue and sets up the main conflict -I assume- in the story. I just don't know how I feel about the first quote. I read it a few times now, trying to think... But I think I don't like it as the first lines of the prologue. Dunno, it feels... off. I would probably place it after the first paragraph. It just felt off.

• Tags

All is good here.

• Chapter Titles

Nicely organized. No complaints here.

Final thoughts:

• Hm... Sounds nice. You got my attention. (Good.)

 

[Dredd_Sama]

Please do mine, the one in the signature this time

 

[Corty]

@Dredd_Sama

• Cover

Nice, and it does set a darker mood by just its color scheme and how it looks. The title is well-readable, so it's all good.

• Title

It is good and suggests the supernatural element, the same feeling that the cover conveys.

• Synopsis

I would like a little more meat to it. It is not bad, but I would personally need a little more to start caring about either the MC or the plot. But it does paint an interesting picture and the possibility of a thriller-like story or the portrayal of a villain as the story's hero.

• Tags

All is good on this front.

• Chapter Titles

You should need to include chapter numbers, not just their titles. Like: "Chapter 1 - Ragnar" This way, it helps readers immediately see how many chapters they can binge. Many people only start a book after it has sufficient chapters ready.

Final thoughts:

• Nothing looked interesting. (It needs work. Not bad, not good)
  • Chapter titles need work, and I would expand a little on the synopsis, giving a bit more information about the world or the MC. Like does this happen often? Are there a lot of ability-wielding people around? Or are they live in secrecy? Is the world not thrown into chaos? Are they persecuted? Etc. A bit more meat so we can decide if we want to know more about the world and the MC.

 

[wannabewriter]

Hey! Fairly new here but any feedback would help a lot.

Customer Service Magic

Welcome to MagicPerformax, your premier destination for hero assistance for over a decade. Our team of highly-trained Hero Care Assistants is at your service 24/7. We’re here to ensure your survival in treacherous dungeons, seal away those pesky demon generals, and of course, rescue the damsels...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Corty]

@wannabewriter

• Cover

At first, I wanted to say, WTH? But then I thought about it. And it fits. It fits perfectly. However, keep in mind that because it is small looking on the front page, it looks weird and strange, and it has the effect of people not even clicking on it.

• Title

It is good, but I was debating if Magic Customer Service should be the correct one or not. I am still unable to come to a decision as Customer Service Magic is perfectly fine too.

• Synopsis

Interesting approach. I like it. Unique. Intriguing.

• Tags

Need more tags, I think it has too little.

• Chapter Titles

Unique as the rest of it. Now, I don't know if it is good or bad, and if the story goes longer... doing Roman numerals could turn into tricky and could discourage people from reading it.

Final thoughts:

• To the reading list, it goes! (Very interesting!)
  • Even though it seems like I am nitpicking it is interesting. It just provides some hurdles before you click on it. That is the catch here. Most people will skim over it because it looks "weird" yet it's strong part is being "weird" so... it is a catch-22.