Corty's Feedback Corner (Kinda... Read the first post!) --- Closed until further notice.

[wannabewriter]

@wannabewriter

• Cover

At first, I wanted to say, WTH? But then I thought about it. And it fits. It fits perfectly. However, keep in mind that because it is small looking on the front page, it looks weird and strange, and it has the effect of people not even clicking on it.

• Title

It is good, but I was debating if Magic Customer Service should be the correct one or not. I am still unable to come to a decision as Customer Service Magic is perfectly fine too.

• Synopsis

Interesting approach. I like it. Unique. Intriguing.

• Tags

Need more tags, I think it has too little.

• Chapter Titles

Unique as the rest of it. Now, I don't know if it is good or bad, and if the story goes longer... doing Roman numerals could turn into tricky and could discourage people from reading it.

Final thoughts:

• To the reading list, it goes! (Very interesting!)
  • Even though it seems like I am nitpicking it is interesting. It just provides some hurdles before you click on it. That is the catch here. Most people will skim over it because it looks "weird" yet it's strong part is being "weird" so... it is a catch-22.

Really appreciate the feedback and will work on those strong points you raised.

 

[Verdante]

Well, I totally missed the notifications here, so... sorry for that.

Anyway, let's go in order:

@Dredd_Sama Sorry, I only do SH books.

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@Sagacious_Punk

• Cover

Really nice and clean, and everything is visible and readable. Perfect.

• Title

In sync with the cover, it sounds interesting and has an air of grandeur about it.

• Synopsis

Good. I guess from it, we are reading about the three main characters of the story, and after reading it and looking at the cover, it made perfect sense. I wouldn't change a thing.

• Tags

I am a tag whore, so I would love to see a bit more, but the ones present perfectly describe what to expect from it, so it's just a me problem.

• Chapter Titles

Needs fixing. Just looking at it feels like looking at red flags. For one, I would leave out the all-capital chapter namings. I would bring it under one unified structure as having lowercase titles, full uppercase titles, then a mix of the two... it is a clusterfuck and will deter readers from picking it up.

Final thoughts:

• To the reading list it goes! (Very interesting!)
  • Chapter titles need fixing ASAP, though.

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@OyoJan 404 error on the link

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@SalivaSpittingWorm I am rating both at the same time.

• Cover

Both are good except for the text. I would redo it. It needs a change, as it looks... weird. I would suggest:

Design Book Covers Online for Free | Adobe Express

The Adobe Express free online book cover creator helps you easily create your own custom book covers that attract readers. All creative skill levels are welcome.

www.adobe.com

It is totally free and easy to use; no programs are needed to download.

• Title

Err, I dislike long titles. But it is a trend that is prevalent nowadays, so that is the boomer talking in me. I just prefer snappy two to max four-word titles. Too many titles are like this, and it becomes a blur for me.

• Synopsis

Both are okay, but from the two books, I prefer the second one. That is a good synopsis, and it intrigued me much more than the first (the villainess) one. Felt more built up, more thought out, dunno; the second one felt better.

• Tags

All is fine in this department. Me like many tags.

• Chapter Titles

All good. From the two, once again, the second book's version I liked more, but that is so minor you could call me a nitpicker.

Final thoughts:

• Hm... Sounds nice. You got my attention. (Good.)
  • The covers need fixing, though.

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@Verdante

• Cover

Clean and simple, I like it. The only thing is, the "written by" part is barely readable, so it either needs a replacement if you want to include it or just leave it off the cover altogether.

• Title

I like it. Yeah, simple as that.

• Synopsis

Start with one thing and throw in a twist. I did not expect the second part of the synopsis. Huh. Nice. Very nice. This was a pleasant surprise.

• Tags

Nice and clear; I like it when I can get a proper feeling of what the story will be about from the tags. Maybe a few more would be nice, but that is a me thing.

• Chapter Titles

Chapter titles would make it even better, but I know it could be hard to name every chapter.

Final thoughts:

• Hm... Sounds nice. You got my attention. (Good.)

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@CubicleHermit

• Cover

Nice cover. It reminds me of @Hans.Trondheim 's works. Clean colors, everything is readable. Nice.

• Title

Tells the main plot of the story; there are no misdirections here.

• Synopsis

I feel it serves as a prologue and sets up the main conflict -I assume- in the story. I just don't know how I feel about the first quote. I read it a few times now, trying to think... But I think I don't like it as the first lines of the prologue. Dunno, it feels... off. I would probably place it after the first paragraph. It just felt off.

• Tags

All is good here.

• Chapter Titles

Nicely organized. No complaints here.

Final thoughts:

• Hm... Sounds nice. You got my attention. (Good.)

thank you!!

 

[CubicleHermit]

@CubicleHermit

• Cover

Nice cover. It reminds me of @Hans.Trondheim 's works. Clean colors, everything is readable. Nice.

First, thank!!!!

Will have to give some thought on how to introduce the synopsis without leading with the quote. :)

Second, that is exactly @Hans.Trondheim 's work as he very kindly offered to create it when I first came to Scribblehub (my original was made with MangaMaker Comipo and horrible. :) )

 

[Sagacious_Punk]

Thanks for the feedback, Corty!

Off I go to fix those capslocked "CHAPTER X" titles.

As for tags... wanted to put more, but SH curated list of tags doesn't have the ones I need. On AO3, for example, I've put additional tags (solarpunk, hopepunk, noblebright, SFF fusion, spiritual).

 

[SalivaSpittingWorm]

@SalivaSpittingWorm I am rating both at the same time.

• Cover

Both are good except for the text. I would redo it. It needs a change, as it looks... weird. I would suggest:

Design Book Covers Online for Free | Adobe Express

The Adobe Express free online book cover creator helps you easily create your own custom book covers that attract readers. All creative skill levels are welcome.

www.adobe.com

It is totally free and easy to use; no programs are needed to download.

• Title

Err, I dislike long titles. But it is a trend that is prevalent nowadays, so that is the boomer talking in me. I just prefer snappy two to max four-word titles. Too many titles are like this, and it becomes a blur for me.

• Synopsis

Both are okay, but from the two books, I prefer the second one. That is a good synopsis, and it intrigued me much more than the first (the villainess) one. Felt more built up, more thought out, dunno; the second one felt better.

• Tags

All is fine in this department. Me like many tags.

• Chapter Titles

All good. From the two, once again, the second book's version I liked more, but that is so minor you could call me a nitpicker.

Final thoughts:

• Hm... Sounds nice. You got my attention. (Good.)
  • The covers need fixing, though.

Thank you very much! I'm glad it's acceptable.
Cover... yeah well... I'm not very good with graphics programs. :P I did it in Paint. XD
I'll try the program you recommended. :)
Thank you very much :)

 

[Para23]

There are tons of feedback threads for first chapters, coherency, grammar, whatever. Why is this different? Well.... I will give you feedback not on your chapter(s) but on the following points:

• Cover
• Title
• Synopsis
• Tags
• Chapter titles

Wait... how are you going to give feedback on tags if you don't read it? Here is the neat part! I will know if you didn't bother to add tags without reading your story.

My feedback will be totally SUBJECTIVE and will be like this:

• Just redo it... (This won't bring in readers. This is bad.)
• Nothing looked interesting. (It needs work. Not bad, not good)
• Hm... Sounds nice. You got my attention. (Good.)
• To the reading list, it goes! (Very interesting!)

Does this mean your story is bad or good? Dunno. Post it in the others' threads to find out. I am here to give you honest feedback and first impression of your front page. To tell you if it is eye-catching or not.

I am here to judge the book by its cover!

EDIT:

I only do ScribbleHub works. Any other links will be ignored from now on.

Mind giving mine some feedback? I'm not the best at selling my story with the synopsis to be honest.
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/912210/the-pawns-game-theatre-of-death/

 

[Corty]

@Para23

• Cover

Looks nice, my only gripe is that the subtitle is unreadable. But that is a "site issue," I know, I deal with it too.

• Title

The title is nice, and I like it being reflected on the cover too.

• Synopsis

Okay, I think this needs work. It read weirdly, very weirdly and I will be honest it didn't make much sense. So I did a quick rewrite by instinct.

The game of pawns seems nonsensical and unreasonable, especially to the pawn who is being led on a trail of blood. To prove one's innocence isn't a simple ordeal when the meaning of guilt is twisted, used as a dagger to plunge into the heart of any defiance.

Is Jun the only fool? Is the disposable pawn being replaced at the first sign of failure? When consciousness is swapped out by another existence, from another plane of existence... Is my doppelganger... Is he the only fool?

Am I not a fool?

In an age of churning gears and steam engines that billowed columns of smoke high into the sky, one would think a murder would not require a supernatural cause. A revolver would be enough. But why is that not the case?

If it was that simple, I wouldn't be this. This monstrous creature.

This mangled, disjointed hound. Fueled by rage. By fear.

This was just a quick attempt on my part so take it not as a gospel but as an idea. Reading it like this somewhat made more sense to my brain. All-in-all, it is a synopsis that I think needs a rework. You need to make it enticing enough to make the reader want to know more. This was more confusing than interesting, and that many times deterred readers from picking the book up.

• Tags

All is fine in this department.

Final thoughts:

• Nothing looked interesting. (It needs work. Not bad, not good)
  • The synopsis needs a rework; then it will jump up a rating.

 

[Para23]

@Para23

• Cover

Looks nice, my only gripe is that the subtitle is unreadable. But that is a "site issue," I know, I deal with it too.

• Title

The title is nice, and I like it being reflected on the cover too.

• Synopsis

Okay, I think this needs work. It read weirdly, very weirdly and I will be honest it didn't make much sense. So I did a quick rewrite by instinct.


This was just a quick attempt on my part so take it not as a gospel but as an idea. Reading it like this somewhat made more sense to my brain. All-in-all, it is a synopsis that I think needs a rework. You need to make it enticing enough to make the reader want to know more. This was more confusing than interesting, and that many times deterred readers from picking the book up.

• Tags

All is fine in this department.

Final thoughts:

• Nothing looked interesting. (It needs work. Not bad, not good)
  • The synopsis needs a rework; then it will jump up a rating.

Thank you for the feedback! I really do need to work on the synopsis so I’ll see what I can do!

 

[Para23]

@Para23

• Cover

Looks nice, my only gripe is that the subtitle is unreadable. But that is a "site issue," I know, I deal with it too.

• Title

The title is nice, and I like it being reflected on the cover too.

• Synopsis

Okay, I think this needs work. It read weirdly, very weirdly and I will be honest it didn't make much sense. So I did a quick rewrite by instinct.


This was just a quick attempt on my part so take it not as a gospel but as an idea. Reading it like this somewhat made more sense to my brain. All-in-all, it is a synopsis that I think needs a rework. You need to make it enticing enough to make the reader want to know more. This was more confusing than interesting, and that many times deterred readers from picking the book up.

• Tags

All is fine in this department.

Final thoughts:

• Nothing looked interesting. (It needs work. Not bad, not good)
  • The synopsis needs a rework; then it will jump up a rating.

Hi, I reworked the synopsis a bit. I wonder if this is a bit better.

Synopsis:
To the pawn lead on a trail of blood, mystery was an unfair game. Being placed in the body of a supposed murderer, moments after the act, is not a typical situation. And to prove one's innocence after the fact isn't a simple ordeal, not when the meaning of guilt is twisted, used as a dagger to plunge into the heart of any defiance.

Is Jun the only fool? The disposable pawn replaced at the first sign of failure? His consciousness swapped out for mine, dragged in from another plane of existence. My doppelganger, is he the only fool? Or was this his escape?

Am I not a fool?

In an age of churning gears and steam engines that billowed columns of smoke high into the sky, one would think a murder would not require a supernatural cause. A revolver, would be enough. But why is that not the case?

Why did Jun feel the need to run?

If it was that simple, I wouldn't be this. This monstrous creature. This mangled, disjointed hound. Fueled by chaos.

But alas, my role is to entertain.

Do not be misguided, for this is not the legacy of the fool, but his replacement, the jester.

 

[ile_Eve]

A definitely very serious story that is assuredly not on hiatus or anything

My Bad Co-Author Ruins the Story

An unknown girl was accepted into the academy of her dreams. Except, the academy seemed quite strange. And, why does everyone seem like they understand what's going on? What are 'Gifts'? What's up with these courses? Why does everyone know each other? Did I miss something in the school's...

www.scribblehub.com

-Eve

 

[Corty]

@Para23 Much better!

@ile_Eve

• Cover

Well, it is an image. Better than the basic cover, but it doesn't tell much about the story.

• Title

That is a meta title. It can be good or bad, depending on the story. But it sets the tone that it is a comedy.

• Synopsis

Okay. So this is either a meta-comedy or a genuinely fun experiment. If both, that is even better. The synopsis is just as random as probably the story will be so that fits. But this is a very niche book so no matter what is changed, eight out of nine people will skip it most likely.

• Tags

All is fine.

• Chapter Titles

Good, no problems here.

Final thoughts:

• Nothing looked interesting. (It needs work. Not bad, not good)
  • Now, this rating is for the fact that this is a weird book. I am rating it from the viewpoint of an average reader who just clicked on it. The confusing synopsis will probably deter them from continuing even if it is an interesting approach to writing. People like me who are into unique ideas would probably check it out. The rest? The majority? Will move on quickly.
    • And maybe a better cover would draw in more clicks, it is too basic.

 

[Para23]

@Para23 Much better!

@ile_Eve

• Cover

Well, it is an image. Better than the basic cover, but it doesn't tell much about the story.

• Title

That is a meta title. It can be good or bad, depending on the story. But it sets the tone that it is a comedy.

• Synopsis

Okay. So this is either a meta-comedy or a genuinely fun experiment. If both, that is even better. The synopsis is just as random as probably the story will be so that fits. But this is a very niche book so no matter what is changed, eight out of nine people will skip it most likely.

• Tags

All is fine.

• Chapter Titles

Good, no problems here.

Final thoughts:

• Nothing looked interesting. (It needs work. Not bad, not good)
  • Now, this rating is for the fact that this is a weird book. I am rating it from the viewpoint of an average reader who just clicked on it. The confusing synopsis will probably deter them from continuing even if it is an interesting approach to writing. People like me who are into unique ideas would probably check it out. The rest? The majority? Will move on quickly.
    • And maybe a better cover would draw in more clicks, it is too basic.

Yay!

 

[Bobple]

I'm finally free from my prison, saw this, seemed fun even if I don't really need the feedback, the fun is more important! (I need some joy (Not necessarily good/positive feedback, just that this type of feedback sounds fun)).

Triiffic-Soul: Can I Be In Control?

It began with an accident, or maybe a miracle is a better term. Three souls dying by different strokes. One died in glory and blood; One died, betrayed but glad it was over; One died poor and alone. Then on the child’s fifth birthday, the three sleeping souls awakened....

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Corty]

@Bobple

• Cover

A clear image with a clear title is what a cover needs. Nice.

• Title

It is an interesting title that projects the main plot point so the reader can know what the story will be about.

• Synopsis

Further expanding on the title, it paints an interesting take on the reincarnation trope/genre. It shares enough to make the reader interested in it but not much to spoil everything.

• Tags

Maybe a bit more would be good, but that is my nitpicky side chiming in.

• Chapter Titles

All good.

Final thoughts:

• To the reading list, it goes! (Very interesting!)

 

[JackJohnJackson]

I haven't gone through and frankly am terrible with coming up with chapter titles but kept with a general older tech aesthetic with disc's for the different parts and track numbers for chapters, the cover is just thrown together too from old art but would very much appreciate the thoughts overall on it!

Stray Stars

Soune Argent wants a quiet life. However, such a privilege is rare on Durendel. Pockets of civilisation are kept in check by growth-hungry corporations and a stern-handed government. Any and all actions are watched by an orbital ring ready to stifle conflicts before they can start, scouring...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Bobple]

Final thoughts:

• To the reading list, it goes! (Very interesting!)

Also, tags are something I could improve on for all my stories.... there is just so many and I find it hard to know which ones to add.

 

[Corty]

@JackJohnJackson

• Cover

Nice with only one problem: The subtitle is hard to read on it.

• Title

I like titles like this. They can mean a lot of things and the reader can infer their own interpretation of it.

• Synopsis

Nice~! I really like these types of descriptions because they give a look into the past of the story, and introduce us to the MC and the key point behind her motives. Wouldn't change a thing.

• Tags

All is in order.

• Chapter Titles

As you already mentioned it in your post, I won't say much but yeah, I would prefer some better chapter titles~

Final thoughts:

• To the reading list, it goes! (Very interesting!)

 

[JackJohnJackson]

@JackJohnJackson

• Cover

Nice with only one problem: The subtitle is hard to read on it.

• Title

I like titles like this. They can mean a lot of things and the reader can infer their own interpretation of it.

• Synopsis

Nice~! I really like these types of descriptions because they give a look into the past of the story, and introduce us to the MC and the key point behind her motives. Wouldn't change a thing.

• Tags

All is in order.

• Chapter Titles

As you already mentioned it in your post, I won't say much but yeah, I would prefer some better chapter titles~

Final thoughts:

• To the reading list, it goes! (Very interesting!)

Very happy it made it to the reading list standard, but thank you very much for the feedback and yes definitely hoping to improve on both the cover and chapters over time

Thanks for taking the time to give this feedback!

 

[SalivaSpittingWorm]

@SalivaSpittingWorm I am rating both at the same time.

• Cover

Both are good except for the text. I would redo it. It needs a change, as it looks... weird. I would suggest:

Design Book Covers Online for Free | Adobe Express

The Adobe Express free online book cover creator helps you easily create your own custom book covers that attract readers. All creative skill levels are welcome.

www.adobe.com

It is totally free and easy to use; no programs are needed to download.

• Title

Err, I dislike long titles. But it is a trend that is prevalent nowadays, so that is the boomer talking in me. I just prefer snappy two to max four-word titles. Too many titles are like this, and it becomes a blur for me.

• Synopsis

Both are okay, but from the two books, I prefer the second one. That is a good synopsis, and it intrigued me much more than the first (the villainess) one. Felt more built up, more thought out, dunno; the second one felt better.

• Tags

All is fine in this department. Me like many tags.

• Chapter Titles

All good. From the two, once again, the second book's version I liked more, but that is so minor you could call me a nitpicker.

Final thoughts:

• Hm... Sounds nice. You got my attention. (Good.)
  • The covers need fixing, though.

Hey! I fixed the covers as you suggested! What do you think? :)
Thanks again! The program is really good and easy! :)

 

[ile_Eve]

@Para23 Much better!

@ile_Eve

• Cover

Well, it is an image. Better than the basic cover, but it doesn't tell much about the story.

• Title

That is a meta title. It can be good or bad, depending on the story. But it sets the tone that it is a comedy.

• Synopsis

Okay. So this is either a meta-comedy or a genuinely fun experiment. If both, that is even better. The synopsis is just as random as probably the story will be so that fits. But this is a very niche book so no matter what is changed, eight out of nine people will skip it most likely.

• Tags

All is fine.

• Chapter Titles

Good, no problems here.

Final thoughts:

• Nothing looked interesting. (It needs work. Not bad, not good)
  • Now, this rating is for the fact that this is a weird book. I am rating it from the viewpoint of an average reader who just clicked on it. The confusing synopsis will probably deter them from continuing even if it is an interesting approach to writing. People like me who are into unique ideas would probably check it out. The rest? The majority? Will move on quickly.
    • And maybe a better cover would draw in more clicks, it is too basic.

Very reasonable and better than I expected!
Maybe we'll fix the cover if ile ever gets motivation to continue...
-Eve