LesserCodex
Member
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2022
- Messages
- 29
- Points
- 18
Got it here it is. Thank you in advance.no worries. i am just very slow. add a link. signatures dont work on mobile
Got it here it is. Thank you in advance.no worries. i am just very slow. add a link. signatures dont work on mobile
have I ever submit anything to you I can't quite recall
read up to: The Brightest Popstar: Li XiyunI will not refuse a review so here. Just started writing 3 days ago and I don't know if I'm progressing smoothly. I have 600+ total views and 60 average viewers so... I dunno. I'm resting today but hopefully you enjoy.
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Symphonia: Rebel Against the World of Machines and the Sleepless Cities of Rhythms! | Royal Road
"The night city is always glimmering with life isn't it? Millions of lights, all of them feels alive at night and they pulse their heart for one reason. It's Music!" -Martin Forth, The Soundtrack of Defiance (3rd Live Concert ver.) The Musical Revolution had began after the rumor of an ancient...www.royalroad.com
Thank you for the feedback. To be honest, this is my first experiment in writing.I am removing the numbered rating as I don't feel like it's adding anything of value. It's also often inaccurate as most works improve over time.
read up to: The Brightest Popstar: Li Xiyun
This is another unorthodox one for me. Let me start by saying that the first two chapters were complete gibberish to me. I had no idea who was who and what was what.
The third chapter was my first introduction to the characters. I actually liked them. They felt alive and expressive. The dialogue was also decent. To be honest I didn't have much faith after the first two unintelligible chapters.
There are some awkward phrases and sentences, some in dialogue as well. They're not abrasive and I think they'll lessen over time.
I'd say my biggest issue reading this was the formatting. That's the reason I stopped on this chapter as the next one went back to being gibbirish. Better formatting and less floating dialogues will go a long way.
also number your chapters. no reason not to.
I understood some of the [ ] to be ad boards. Others I didn't. And as I am out of the loop, I have no idea what they mean. It's good that you've got contrasting feedback. Not every reader is the same. I might just be the minority.Thank you for the feedback. To be honest, this is my first experiment in writing.
The first and second chapter is actually introduction of the world through series of inside world references. It is narrated by a content creator inside that world so some of the quoted sentences came from the advertisements, shows and other entertainment media inside that world.
I used [this format] to quote something digital instead of "this type of dialogue".
This is exactly the feedback I need because I don't receive one to know If I'm writing good or not. One of the people I received feedback has a different contrast to yours and said that they understood the world building and the transition to characters in chapter 2.
So may I ask what you find troublesome on my formats and floating dialogues? Most of the feedback I received praised the concept and my characters but not the way I construct it.
I appreciate it very much![]()
read up to: Chapter 9: Singularis Felis
I was lateI'd like to see what you think of mine. It's kind of a rare genre for this site (dystopian noir with no magic). There are a lot of gay characters, but it's not BL (or any other kind of romance, really). Here it is: Only the Dead Are Cold-Blooded.
Edit: Story deleted. Never mind.
You're right i'm experimenting and it's true that i'm making things up as I write lol. I have the idea of how I want my world though.read up to: Chapter 9: Singularis Felis
I liked the premise. Liked the MC in the first chapter. I was also willing to continue after two 'filler' chaptees with aster pov.
Then the story further focuses on aster. MC becomes dumb, confliced. MC was supposed to be 24. I can understand being purposefully immature/lazy, but I do not like incompetence. I was reading for the cat MC not aster and his isekai'd cat sidekick.
In regards to the writing and quality, I don't have much to say. This read like an average SH webnovel. The author is experimneting and lightly editing, thus there are grammatical and pov mistakes(especially obvious in early chapters). The jp-webnovel formula with floating dialogues, little details, and anime references.
There was also an issue of missing details. I'm thinking this is because you're making things up as you go. I could be wrong. For example i have no idea what is normal in this world. Is MC being this smart normal? MC is able to fully understand speech and behaves like a human (washing his hands) for example. It was portrayed as normal as the sister had no surprised reaction and just went to help him.
And the comment about Mythic rank. What conistitues the mc being mythic and how could have the store owners known in that interaction? Because he was fast? Because he could understand them and was embaressed? Because he was strong enough to force the guard on the floor from a single slap? I have no clue.
Thank you! This is actually what I need. I am glad that you liked my characters. This is still the whole prologue thing so I guess after I finish the end. I'll definitely focus on revising and polishing it when I post it here in SH.I understood some of the [ ] to be ad boards. Others I didn't. And as I am out of the loop, I have no idea what they mean. It's good that you've got contrasting feedback. Not every reader is the same. I might just be the minority.
about floating dialouges, I don't believe it's ever good. It's always better to identify the speaker in the same paragrapg as the dialogue. It makes reading a lot smoother
as soon as it is approved.anyone know how long till a new series getting added to search algo?