Crossing Gender Mentality

[Mwpensword]

So as a male cisgender I have little to no knowledge of the inside of the female mind. If I wanted to try writing a female protagonist in the future what should I read in preparation? Any good research sites for the mindset and psychology? Also, this would be a good place to discuss male psychology for women authors as well.

 

[Moonpearl]

My best advice would be to not fall into the trap of thinking of us as an alien species that you need to study up on to understand.

Also to avoid believing the lies of incels and other people who think women really are an alien species.

 

[atgongumerki]

From my point of view, gender is nothing important.
If you only change the gender of a character, the character remains as viable as before.

P.S. Gender is one of the last things I put on a character because of the aforementioned reasons.

 

[Saileri]

My best advice would be to not fall into the trap of thinking of us as an alien species that you need to study up on to understand.
Also to avoid believing the lies of incels and other people who think women really are an alien species.

True words spoken, always set yourself in the character's place as a PERSON and try to think what fits them in terms of PERSONALITY and not just gender. Both men and women can be tough, meek, scaredy, proud, valiant, evil, heroic and everything else. Build that character with their backstory. Show why that girl is who she is. Or just blame it on personality. I mean, no one forces you to flesh out a character's backstory, both male and female.

Just like MoonMoon said, try not to get too much lost in the usual stereotypes. On the other hand, you are the author, you consider what is best for your story. No one will shame you when you choose to design a caring girl that meekly follows some guy because she fell in love at first sight and literally gets all red with a single small compliment, nor when you decide on a badass fem MC that mutilates her enemies without blinking, swears right and left and loves drinking in pubs.

Develop characters through their goals, personalities, views, beliefs, their past, their upbringing. There's a lot of possibilities.

 

[Moonpearl]

No one will shame you when you choose to design a caring girl that meekly follows some guy because she fell in love at first sight and literally gets all red with a single small compliment, nor when you decide on a badass fem MC that mutilates her enemies without blinking, swears right and left and loves drinking in pubs.

I mean, if you write a woman that's vacant of all personality and personal goals apart from loving some guy, you're doing a bad job and you're going to get called out on it.

The same goes for if that's the only type of woman you ever write.

The only resource I can think to recommend to people who are struggling to write women would be r/MenWritingWomen, which is examples of people doing it horribly badly, but there are fewer examples of men trying to write in the minds of women characters since Stephen King and that one Japanese author cycled out of reposting popularity. You can find it here, though: https://www.reddit.com/r/menwritingwomen/

 

[Deleted member 29316]

I don't know...but I modelled my ladies on the people I'm interacting with--my students, co-teachers, family members.

That includes their attitudes, beliefs, values and goals in life.

As I'm a teacher, I could observe their behavior, especially in a classroom setting and start from there. Same with my family...since I got two sisters as well.

 

[BenJepheneT]

The only resource I can think to recommend to people who are struggling to write women would be r/MenWritingWomen, which is examples of people doing it horribly badly, but there are fewer examples of men trying to write in the minds of women characters since Stephen King and that one Japanese author cycled out of reposting popularity. You can find it here, though: https://www.reddit.com/r/menwritingwomen/

Not a great recommendation. The whole subreddit is akin to r/mendrawingwomen. I've seen some genuinely well written descriptions of beauty (from the standard of normal guys anyway) and got pointed away because the chick isn't some 1 to 1 representation of generic women in society. I'm not saying there isn't god awful, literal sex objects posted there, but 6 out of 10 times the subreddit just cast it aside as "blatant objectification" just because the author used the privilege of writing a fiction work to write his dream girl.

@Mwpensword Really, the best way to write female characters is to do so as how you'd write male characters but only this time, they're female. Gender doesn't do much in terms of characterization aside some norms or scenarios (bathing scenes, small talk, the trouble of period if you feel like writing that) unless you're aiming to put gender as a theme or a driving force for the plot.

The more you worry about how to write female, the more you make mistakes in the process. You'd end up with a story reading more like it's written a curious church boy who'd just passed puberty and jotting down his barest knowledge of what the mythical 'girl' looks like.

There really isn't much difference between genders aside physicality and societal norms.

 

[Saileri]

I mean, if you write a woman that's vacant of all personality and personal goals apart from loving some guy, you're doing a bad job and you're going to get called out on it.

Well, I didn't mention the lack of any personality and goals tho, just some behaviour examples. But that kinda relates to any character too.

 

[BenJepheneT]

I don't know...but I modelled my ladies on the people I'm interacting with--my students, co-teachers, family members.

That includes their attitudes, beliefs, values and goals in life.

This is all you need to do, to be honest. They're just normal human beings like you, only instead of a frankfurter, they have an abalone.

 

[BenJepheneT]

On the other hand, you are the author, you consider what is best for your story. No one will shame you when you choose to design a caring girl that meekly follows some guy because she fell in love at first sight and literally gets all red with a single small compliment, nor when you decide on a badass fem MC that mutilates her enemies without blinking, swears right and left and loves drinking in pubs.

Now here's a fun game: if you can somehow manage to innovate upon the usual "meek caring girl that flushes deep red when barely complimented once" troupe and create a deep, intricate character out of it, that'll say a lot about your ability as a writer.

 

[Surprise]

Lmao, i can't believe someone actually made this post.

 

[Deleted member 29316]

This is all you need to do, to be honest. They're just normal human beings like you, only instead of a frankfurter, they have an abalone.

I remember writing about my FMC who's possessive...

I modeled her on a student of mine. The first time I wrote about her gave me the creeps, but it actually went away as I go along.

 

[minacia]

I agree with what Moon said!

There are probably also some other minor differences, but they’re not terribly important. If you’re really struggling, I think the easiest exercise is to write a female character who is completely uninterested in romance — it’ll help you avoid many of the stereotypes.

 

[BenJepheneT]

I remember writing about my FMC who's possessive...

I modeled her on a student of mine. The first time I wrote about her gave me the creeps, but it actually went away as I go along.

I understand that feel. The arcane ability of writing someone you know on paper and having the ability to CONTROL THEIR FATE while knowing full well it doesn't affect reality one bit does gives me chills every once in a while.

I stopped doing that though. Don't wanna sound like "that guy" but everyone I've met IRL so far isn't interesting enough to be put into paper.

 

[Deleted member 29316]

I understand that feel. The arcane ability of writing someone you know on paper and having the ability to CONTROL THEIR FATE while knowing full well it doesn't affect reality one bit does gives me chills every once in a while.

I stopped doing that though. Don't wanna sound like "that guy" but everyone I've met IRL so far isn't interesting enough to be put into paper.

Well, ya know my work...met a lot of different people with different personalities...

That's why I can always confidently say that while there may be similarities, every one person is a unique individual.

 

[Saileri]

Now here's a fun game: if you can somehow manage to innovate upon the usual "meek caring girl that flushes deep red when barely complimented once" troupe and create a deep, intricate character out of it, that'll say a lot about your ability as a writer.

Perhaps one day I'll take on that challenge, who knows, but I'm not confident enough in myself to say I would come even a little bit close if I tried currently.

 

[minacia]

Oh and I glanced at r/menwritingwomen and my other tip is don’t make a female protagonist that you’ll be attracted to.... lol...

 

[Discount_Blade]

This is all you need to do, to be honest. They're just normal human beings like you, only instead of a frankfurter, they have an abalone.

Made me snort. First time I've ever heard the abalone being the word used XDDD

 

[BenJepheneT]

Oh and I glanced at r/menwritingwomen and my other tip is don’t make a female protagonist that you’ll be attracted to.... lol...

Yeah, that's one thing. Unless you can spiritually detach yourself from your hormones, it's best to not write a troupe you're infatuated with.

 

[Discount_Blade]

Oh and I glanced at r/menwritingwomen and my other tip is don’t make a female protagonist that you’ll be attracted to.... lol...

I'm kind of on the fence about where I agree with that or not. I don't see much of a problem as long as you don't devolve into a countless number of sex scenes. In which case you're likely losing the original pathway of the story you were writing. Otherwise, I don't get the problem.