How do I write a silent fighting scene?

[VormiamSundrake]

I have only written a few fight scenes up until now and although I don't think I am good at it, I don't think I did bad either. My issue at the moment is that I am writing a fight between two characters and neither are able to speak. When I went back and read the chapter, the entire structure of the page was just paragraph after paragraph with no shorter sentences or dialog to break it up, and it seemed very repetitive. Does anyone have any tips on how to fix this?

 

[CrusadeAgainstFurries]

Do the shounen-manga approaching of spectators reacting and commenting. Of course only if there are some spectators in that scene.

 

[NotaNuffian]

Just my amateur thought. Keep the fight short then. No dialogues? How about inner monologues?

 

[LordAstrea]

I will do my best to see if I can help, but I'm no pro. lol. Like mentioned previous, inner monologues or getting an idea of at least one character's thought process can help a lot. Expressions are also really great and eye movement.
Not sure how long the fight is. If there are lulls during the fight where they size each other up, then even just describing the motion of wiping blood away, grimaces, shifting stance, etc. can make huge impacts. If you've given the reader a solid grasp of the characters' personalities and how they view each other, then you can make changes with those expressions that a reader/other character may not be used to that shows some inner conflict.
That's about all I can think of at the moment off the top of my head. Hope it helps at least a bit. XD

 

[Ai-chan]

I have only written a few fight scenes up until now and although I don't think I am good at it, I don't think I did bad either. My issue at the moment is that I am writing a fight between two characters and neither are able to speak. When I went back and read the chapter, the entire structure of the page was just paragraph after paragraph with no shorter sentences or dialog to break it up, and it seemed very repetitive. Does anyone have any tips on how to fix this?

Instead of:

Albrecht took a step forward, his left arm swung in a wide arc against Deladra's neck. As the blade of his sword left a trail of bluish glow in the air, he makes a grin, expecting the attack to connect. One swift strike that would save him a lifetime of misery.

Yet it did not come into fruition. For Deladra's thin and graceful neck was nowhere near the path of Albrecht's blade. Albrecht's blade, one that had beheaded hundreds, never failing its charge, merely cleaved air.

Instead, Albrecht felt a heavy impact against his back. He managed to turn around, but could not defend himself as a fish smacked against his face. Deladra, the mermaid princess had delivered a barrage of fish slaps on his face with her scaly tail.

You could do:

Albrecht took a step forward, his left arm swung in a wide arc against Deladra's neck. As the blade of his sword left a trail of bluish glow in the air, he makes a grin, expecting the attack to connect. One swift strike that would save him a lifetime of misery.

I've got you now, bitch! he thought as the blade closed to an inch from Delandra's neck.

Yet it did not come into fruition. For Deladra's thin and graceful neck was nowhere near the path of Albrecht's blade. Albrecht's blade, one that had beheaded hundreds, never failing its charge, merely cleaved air.

What? What is this? he thought, confused.

Instead, Albrecht felt a heavy impact against his back. He managed to turn around, but could not defend himself as a fish smacked against his face. Deladra, the mermaid princess had delivered a barrage of fish slaps on his face with her scaly tail.

 

[Szaku]

some of the greatest silent fight scenes i ever remembered emphasized the sounds of the battle itself. the heavy "thwok" sound of a fist hitting cheek or the sound of leather slapping together at a glancing blow. the sound a bat swinging at nothing, to show how forceful a blow is, without actually connecting.

the best two i can think of, immediately, was the agent vs agent fight in the 2nd borne movie where he killed that guy with a book (i literally stood up and applauded in the middle of a crowded theater, that shit was so good)

edit: its called "borne vs desh" if you look it up on youtube

and the novel i read was actually super gene when han sen first encountered/fought with the feather* race creature. (id have to find the chapter number)

edit: chapter 1692: Killing

no time for words or even thoughts, just amazing sheer brutality. i feel its a very hard concept to write about if you've never been IN a fight but when its done well it is always memorable for me

 

[Zavha0mnic]

I would emphasize the characters expressions. Go all out with this.

”the corner of character 1’s mouth curves with the arc of his blade as it swings toward character 2’s neck.

make it short too. Most fights are.

 

[TheTrinary]

I have only written a few fight scenes up until now and although I don't think I am good at it, I don't think I did bad either. My issue at the moment is that I am writing a fight between two characters and neither are able to speak. When I went back and read the chapter, the entire structure of the page was just paragraph after paragraph with no shorter sentences or dialog to break it up, and it seemed very repetitive. Does anyone have any tips on how to fix this?

Why would you ever NEED to have talking in a fight? Inner monologue sure, but talking? Go read anything that isn't japanese. What you are talking about isn't normal.

 

[Wintertime]

Fight scenes should naturally be without dialogue. Focus on the inner monologue, action and reaction, and how your character interacts with the opponent along with the surrounding. Is he admiring the opponent for their skill? Is he amused that he can track the opponent's movements? The type of language should also convey the urgency. If an assassin was about to kill someone. Short Sentences. Quick bursts. To the point. No dawdling. If it's a prolonged out fight, then broad sentences that focus on the impact. He feels the pain, and he reacts with it accordingly.

 

[P.K.Dionysus]

Something I have found is that short, concise fight scenes can be even more effective than long, drawn out ones.

And perhaps you can limit each engage to a paragraph, so the combatants engage, scuffle, and then separate to catch their respective breaths or assess the situation. Rinse repeat until the fight concludes.

 

[jabathehut]

I have only written a few fight scenes up until now and although I don't think I am good at it, I don't think I did bad either. My issue at the moment is that I am writing a fight between two characters and neither are able to speak. When I went back and read the chapter, the entire structure of the page was just paragraph after paragraph with no shorter sentences or dialog to break it up, and it seemed very repetitive. Does anyone have any tips on how to fix this?

 

[skyfall3250]

Lotm has some great fighting without trash talking in between

 

[Deleted member 46002]

nice tips

Ikr