"How do you write a believable male protagonist?"

[BenJepheneT]

I've decided that there's been one too many "how 2 write wuhmen" threads on this forum and now I want to see what kinda answers you lads would give if the script was flipped.

Talk to me like I'm Stacy Age 16 trying to write her first isekai, but I'm holed up in my room 24/7 and think guys can't sleep on their stomachs due to their magic stick forcing them to suspend on their mattress if they do so.

Fellow SHF-generates, how DO I write a believable male protagonist?

 

[BearlyAlive]

Step one: Write the worst abomination of cliches you can imagine
Step two: let them think with their dick
Step three: make them overly aggressive and easily hurt in their fragile ego
Step four: You know have the manliest man to ever man manhood (no homo tho, because manning manhood would be gay and male characters aren't gay, otherwise they would be gay characters)

And for those that didn't notice the sarcasm, please seek help

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

Just don't make them act like a woman.

 

[Kilolo]

...don't you think there should be a rules about creating a thread with the exact same topic?

there's another thread with exact same title that still active

 

[BenJepheneT]

...don't you think there should be a rules about creating a thread with the exact same topic?

there's another thread with exact same title that still active

im sorry, i don't care about the forum rules. i just get warnings and not do that shit next time round.

 

[PeacefulMyst]

im sorry, i don't care about the forum rules. i just get warnings and not do that shit next time round.

what a chad
aight now someone else should make a '"How to write a believable female protagonist?"' now

 

[SailusGebel]

what a chad
aight now someone else should make a '"How to write a believable female protagonist?"' now

Dew it.

 

[WinterTimeCrime]

Make the male protagonist overpowered, peak physical condition with rippling muscles, a playboy with tons of bitches, and a huge shlong.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Step four: You know have the manliest man to ever man manhood (no homo tho, because manning manhood would be gay and male characters aren't gay, otherwise they would be gay characters)

gay protagonists unironically the manliest characters to exist tho. imagine a father raising his son to be the head of a family, to spread his genes, and propagate his bloodline, only to come home one day in the arms of a man named Davidus and learn that he takes nightly buckets of semen in his ass while wearing a chasity cage.

you've just cucked out a man from having grandchildren by being so chad, so alpha, that another dude couldn't help but offer his bussy for your enjoyment to his pleasure.

 

[PeacefulMyst]

Dew it.

done.

 

[RavenRunes]

1: huge dick, where 'brains' are
2: all women are lying hussies
3: all women are cheating hussies
4: BUT not this female, she nOt lIkE uVver gIrLs aN I pRoTeC her
5: all women are brazen hussies
6: don't touch me bro, OMG are you, like, GAY?! EWW
7: all women are cheating lying brazen hussies.
8: Imma kill you cos you just called my sister a hussy.
9: *eyes other dicks in the john, cos y'know...just checkin...*
10: eww bro, no I am not, like, gay, or anything....

YEP. Got this.

If you want to write men for female readers (MC in romance novel, for example), just make sure he's billionaire (cos poor bros are such turn offs), owns at least three really hot nightclubs/ranches/expensive hotels, and has some cute widdle puppies to walk in the park - and loves - just LURVES - talking about his feelings (we all know that's totally unrealistic, men don't have feelings, sheesh)

 

[georgelee5786]

Whenever a man gets kicked in the balls, a line of male mourners pass by, paying their respects to their fallen brother.

 

[Zirrboy]

and loves - just LURVES - talking about his feelings (we all know that's totally unrealistic, men don't have feelings, sheesh)

Close, but you strayed in the finishing stretch.
Realism is key here, men don't have feelings - apart from anger and horny - instead, they use their primal instincts and raw aggression to be empathic and sensitive enough to tell the reserved female lead's every wish.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Close, but you strayed in the finishing stretch.
Realism is key here, men don't have feelings - apart from anger and horny - instead, they use their primal instincts and raw aggression to be empathic and sensitive enough to tell the reserved female lead's every wish.

"*grunt grumble roar mumble grunt gargle groan*" ("I'm feeling bacon for breakfast, don't you think?")

 

[RavenRunes]

I stand corrected, see how helpful this thread has been, I'm not a man so have picked up some very useful tips, thankyou all so much mwah mwha

 

[Fox-Trot-9]

Write an incel character who dies while jacking off to porn and have him isekaied into a world of hot women thirsty for his shlong. Then have that isekaied incel character realize that he's in a simulation (like in The Matrix), then have him realize that those hot thirsty women are energy vamps feeding off of men's life force, and then have that incel character make a sane decision that will save him from his situation.

 

[Cipiteca396]

and think guys can't sleep on their stomachs due to their magic stick forcing them to suspend on their mattress if they do so.

Wait, that's not true?

---

Uh... Well. Just write a female, and then remove all self-control and ability to empathize. Bonus points if they have to constantly explain everyone else's mistakes to them as slowly as possible. Like baby-speak, but scaled up to sound like a bull grunting, basically.

Should work?

 

[TotallyHuman]

Write a manchild that only uses their 1.5 kg of grey matter to service their 200 grams of meat with an ego too large to be justified by any means. Oh, and give them the ability to communicate, but then cripple it by taking away their ability to listen to anything but their own voice.