Writing How do you write an erotic/sex scene which is engaging but not full blown porn?

Daichi

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I am about to write an chapter for my series which will involve a sex scene between protagonist and his new found love. I want to make it engaging without going full porn. Any advice?
The scene is as follow, our protagonist is at the home of the girl he loves and they are about to have sex for the first time.
 

Blackout

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try to make it ambiguous, i guess. for example, drag it on with kissing and touching, but just when they're about to do it, you write things like 'the bed is creaking loudly' and/or 'the girl's moans echo throughout the bedroom.'
 

FortySixtyFour

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Explore what's going on in their heads rather than what's going on with their bodies. What about the situation is turning them on or creating sexual tension? What led them to this point, what possible consequences or change in their relationship will sex cause for them that they need to worry about? How do they really feel about their partner? Have they learned anything surprising, personal, or unexpected in this intimate exchange?
 

CupcakeNinja

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I am about to write an chapter for my series which will involve a sex scene between protagonist and his new found love. I want to make it engaging without going full porn. Any advice?
The scene is as follow, our protagonist is at the home of the girl he loves and they are about to have sex for the first time.
Follow this as an example
 

AliceShiki

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Question... Why do you want to write the sex scene? As in... What does writing it out add to your novel?

Like, sex scenes can often times be faded to black and skipped for no loss... If you wanna write it, I assume there is a purpose in actively depicting the sex scene, otherwise you'd just skip it.

... Well, lean on that purpose. You wanna show something with that scene, don't you? Then show the thing you want to show. That's it.

... And if you have nothing you want to show in your sex scene... Well, either find something or skip the scene entirely.
 

Yorda

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Constantly interrupt their sensual business with story relevant dialogue in between the throes of passion.

"I know you like it. Just like that time you killed XXX. Such a naughty girl."
"Boorish. That's a woman's secret. Ahhhhhh. How did you ... ahhhhhh ... find out?"
"Interrogation with a big stick."
 

Yorda

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Question... Why do you want to write the sex scene? As in... What does writing it out add to your novel?
Although not full-blown sex, I wanted to put a racy scene into my story to directly show the relationship between two characters. In addition to this, I wanted to use it for character development by showing their personalities and feelings.

"I like you for ___ reason because I'm that kind of person. And I don't mind going down this sick twisted path because of you."
-proceed to kissing-
"You have a weak heart. You need me. You can't live without me."
-proceed to draw the other person closer forcefully-
-stare into eyes to intimidate-
-insert your preference or kabedon-
-touch to show dominance, control, and confidence-

I was also going to include plot relevant dialogue in the scene as well as the body language.
 

AliceShiki

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Although not full-blown sex, I wanted to put a racy scene into my story to directly show the relationship between two characters. In addition to this, I wanted to use it for character development by showing their personalities and feelings.

"I like you for ___ reason because I'm that kind of person. And I don't mind going down this sick twisted path because of you."
-proceed to kissing-
"You have a weak heart. You need me. You can't live without me."
-proceed to draw the other person closer forcefully-
-stare into eyes to intimidate-
-insert your preference or kabedon-
-touch to show dominance, control, and confidence-

I was also going to include plot relevant dialogue in the scene as well as the body language.
That's a good reason to me! ^^)/
 

LynnEllaXXX

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I am about to write an chapter for my series which will involve a sex scene between protagonist and his new found love. I want to make it engaging without going full porn. Any advice?
The scene is as follow, our protagonist is at the home of the girl he loves and they are about to have sex for the first time.
I would say don't tell the readers what they should feel. Just describe all the details, down to the last tiny bit and let the reader feel for themselves. Also stay away from worlds like amazing or incredible. That's telling, not showing. I always like to write as if I'm writing a script for a movie. I think people engage better that way, but that's just me. Could be different for everyone.

Like a few laughs along side your erotic lit? Check out my new kinky comedy of horrors!

A librarian embarks on a risqué adventure to break a painful ejaculation curse placed on him by a succubus ex-lover.

 

Story_Marc

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So, here's the tip I can toss out: keep the details relatively hazy, rely on hints and euphemisms (leave enough to the imagination while hinting at stuff), and focus more on poetic language than erotic ones. Skill with description and prose will come in handy here. I like to blend explicit detail that's more on the foreplay side, metaphor, simile, internal responses to things, and so forth.

I actually just did this earlier today, so I'll give you an example to go off of if you want to judge if my advice is worth listening to or not. Also, with a note of criticism to myself, I DID intentionally go a bit more sensual and might not be "as" hazy as initially planned. Who knows, this is from the first draft of my next novel. WIP and all that. Regardless, these are my tips and this is me practicing what I preach.

-----
Cassidy’s heart stuttered as she jerked her head.

“You look like you could use a break,” Rebecca said. “And know what’s great for a break? A massage! I could give you one if you’d like.”

A smile blossomed on Cassidy’s lips as the tension melted away. Becca was a haven in the middle of a storm. She should’ve trusted her sooner. If only she had trusted her sooner… What could they have accomplished together? How much more could they have done with each other? No matter. The past was the past. She couldn’t change it, but she could make up for every second that she wasted.

“Don’t play coy with me,” Cassidy said, her voice low and husky.

Rebecca cocked her head and flashed a smile teeming with falsehoods. “Why, whatever do you mean? I’m just offering to give you a massage.”

Cassidy leaned in closer, her lips grazing Rebecca’s ear. “You want me naked. Luckily for you, I wish to be naked.”

Rebecca’s breath hitched as Cassidy brushed her tongue against her earlobe.

With a voice that dripped with honey, Cassidy whispered, “Shall we cut to the chase?”

Rebecca shoved Cassidy back against the soft sofa cushions, jolting her heart as she straddled Cassidy’s hips and claimed her lips. Rebecca’s lips were like ripe strawberries, plump and succulent. Her tongue probed at Cassidy’s lips, begging for entrance.

Cassidy slid her tongue forward as a blaze erupted inside her. I could spend eternity like this, she thought as she slipped her hands beneath the back of Rebecca’s shirt, traced a path up her smooth skin, and found her bra. She unclasped it with practiced ease.

The soft rustle of fabric filled the air as they peeled away their clothes and lost themselves in the rhythm of their longings. Every movement – every brush of fingertips, every press of the lips, and every flick of the tongue – was a note in a symphony of ecstasy. Cassidy was a virtuoso of her craft, a conductor of pleasure, coaxing out cries and demands for more. Their moans mingled together in a melody that crescendoed with every passing second and left them bucking when they reached the brink. A salty sweetness coated Cassidy’s lips and tongue once all was said and done.

The couple drifted off together in one another’s arms not long after. They were exhausted, satisfied, and unaware of the trial which awaited them in the morning.
 
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Aader

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This will sound quite obvious. But having irl intimate encounters is a good start.
 

CupcakeNinja

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This will sound quite obvious. But having irl intimate encounters is a good start.
not really, irl isnt the best sexual experience when it comes to erotica and smut. Porn exists and is so popular for a reason. Its BETTER, in a sense, than irl sex. Its a very exaggerated and idealized version that ignores the more awkward realities of sex.

IRL sex is a good reference for realism in terms of interactions, but for the sex scene itself you'd probably wanna look up porn or read up on other erotic stories.

Even if you have a lot of sexual experience, it doesnt translate into good writing. Experiencing something and describing it well are two entirely different skills, so its always best to take example from other writers if you have a particular concept or scene you wanna write but dont know how to approach. Likely thing is you've read some other author do such a scene before and liked it. In which case, you can go back and study it.

EDIT: Writing aside, i do wholly support getting your dick wet as often as possible. Soak your cock in so much pussy juice your cucumber turns into a pickle
 
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