How to increase the quality of writing style

[BlackKnightX]

Overall, I think you use too many similes. It's kind of like sugar; a little bit here and there can enhance the taste, but too much of it will make me feel nauseous. Some people might like this style, though, but it's just not my thing.

 

[CarburetorThompson]

Looking at what you’ve wrote I have a few big suggestions.

1. The forgotten 3: Sight and sound are gonna make up the majority of senses in writing, but it’s important to also include taste, touch and smell when applicable. Scent descriptions are my favorite because I feel it’s an easy way to immerse a reader in a setting, but all of them are important.

2. Sentence length. If you have too many sentences of equal length, or sentences divided into equal lengths with commas, it makes reading feel very robotic and will make it feel more like a report.

Those are the important ones the rest are personal preference.

3. You use he/him/she/her a lot. To me it makes it feel like your giving me a play by play breakdown of what’s happening rather than experiencing a scene.

4. Your first few paragraphs have a lot of simile and metaphor, but it doesn’t really keep the same tone after the dialog starts. Personally I’m not a big fan of similes or metaphors. I’d personally either reduce their number, or add some more flowery descriptors into the rest of the chapter.

 

[Kalliel]

This is part of my story, what do think


Destruction…… despair……. Death.



The Sky shone red like a bright ruby, The scorched earth glistened like black obsidian, the mighty mountains lost their contour as destruction chipped away their body, and rivers cried black tears poisoning the land.



There laid hundreds of bodies of men and women of different species and factions, burned, mutilated, and decaying, and in the midst of all these clashed the last two swords.



One was a woman, golden hair that seemed to have replaced the sun in this accursed land, and a face that is so beautiful that it can dazzle a thousand hearts in one glance, her body was the epitome of perfection, like a perfectly crafted doll, her attire was a golden armor that was partially destroyed and there were bruises and the burn mark in her body but it could not dull her magnificence, nothing but the word 'Goddess' can describe her.



The other was a man, with hair as dark as the abyss and eyes that seemed to suck the light out, his face was sharp and chiseled, with a jawline that could cut glass, and his body was like that of a Greek god, sculpted to perfection. He exuded a menacing and demonic aura that made those around him shudder in fear even when he was sitting on a rock exhausted, and injured.



The man's obsidian eyes focused on the beauty in front of him. "You have survived my final attack, Hero. The victory is yours," his voice was deep as the ocean.



She stood there, her face etched with grief and guilt. "Is this what victory looks like?" she mused, her tone dripping with mockery.



He nodded. "Yes, this is what victory looks like – a costly one, but a victory nonetheless!"



She did not reply. Her gaze turned to the man in front of her – the person who took away everything she loved, ironically the one who she fell in love with. "Are you satisfied?" she asked. "Ever since we met on that mountain, this is all you talked about. The Great War that will shake the Heavens and Earth – you had your war. So tell me, are you satisfied?"



His lips twitched, but in the end, he found the right words to speak. "I do not have any regrets,"



His words were like sharp swords to her, cutting open old wounds deep inside her heart, "Not even for what you did to me? " her voice filled with discomfort.



He sighed, "Your king warned you!, your friends warned you!….. I warned you, that what you seeking from me is something I am incapable of giving"



"Why? I never wanted you to cleave the moon in two. All I yearned for was for you to abandon this fake facade of being a Demon King, and embrace a life with me as a family." Tears streamed down her face as she argued, "We could have escaped from all of this, exchanged vows, and grown old together... we could have forged a blissful life. That's all I desired, to be by your side." Her final words hung in the air as she knelt before him, her eyes brimming with sorrow, and her captivating countenance marked by torment and anguish. "Even now, I am prepared to relinquish everything to be with you. So why do we have to end it like this?"



Her words brought a wry smile to his lips, he brought his right hand to her cheeks, slowly caressing them "I am a Demon King, Aurora, splitting the Moon is a much simpler task for me" he childishly remarked, which did not soothe the Hero before him, so he slowly stroked her head, "I did not choose to be a Demon King, neither did you choose to be a hero, it was fate's will, and the destiny of Hero and Demon King is to be each other demise because that's how fate crafted it to be, no matter what choices we make this is the ending we will come to because that is also what the fates wills."



He took a breath looking at the red sky, "You see for no matter how powerful we became, in the end, as long as I am the demon king and you the hero, we both will always be the puppets that fate strings, to move as those strings command us to move"



A pregnant silence was born. The undeniable truth started to sink into the mind of the Hero, that the love she has cannot be fulfilled



He heard her mutter, "You're right, we could never be together in this life"



With lightning-fast speed, she suddenly slashed her hand, tearing through his skin, shattering his bones, and piercing his heart, leaving him gasping for air. "Let us be together in a life where you are no longer the Demon King," she whispered into his ear. Blood gushed out from the wound she inflicted, and with a swift movement, she cradled him in her lap. "After I put down the mantle of the Hero, I will find you, and we can finally be together," she promised.



"And if fate tries to deny me again, I will sever her strings and hang her with them," she vowed.



The Demon King coughed up blood, his vision starting to blur. He knew he was dying, "Auror…" He whispered her name, his voice barely audible, and reached out to touch her face one last time



Aurora looked at him with tears in her eyes, regret and sorrow filling her heart. She had never wanted to hurt him, but she couldn't bear the thought of being his enemy in every life they lived. She had to find a way to break the cycle of fate and be with him, even if it meant taking drastic measures. As the Demon King's life slipped away, Aurora knew that this was their final moment together. She gazed at him with tears streaming down her face, feeling a deep ache in her heart.



Aurora brought his hands to her face and leaned in, pressing her lips to his in a soft and tender kiss. At that moment, nothing else mattered except for the two of them, wrapped up in each other's arms.



As they parted, tears streamed down Aurora's face as she whispered her final goodbye."I promise I will find you, no matter where you may be. I will find you!"

This is part of my story, any advice

This is part of my story, any advice

Destruction…… despair……. Death.



The Sky shone red like a bright ruby, The scorched earth glistened like black obsidian, the mighty mountains lost their contour as destruction chipped away their body, and rivers cried black tears poisoning the land.



There laid hundreds of bodies of men and women of different species and factions, burned, mutilated, and decaying, and in the midst of all these clashed the last two swords.



One was a woman, golden hair that seemed to have replaced the sun in this accursed land, and a face that is so beautiful that it can dazzle a thousand hearts in one glance, her body was the epitome of perfection, like a perfectly crafted doll, her attire was a golden armor that was partially destroyed and there were bruises and the burn mark in her body but it could not dull her magnificence, nothing but the word 'Goddess' can describe her.



The other was a man, with hair as dark as the abyss and eyes that seemed to suck the light out, his face was sharp and chiseled, with a jawline that could cut glass, and his body was like that of a Greek god, sculpted to perfection. He exuded a menacing and demonic aura that made those around him shudder in fear even when he was sitting on a rock exhausted, and injured.



The man's obsidian eyes focused on the beauty in front of him. "You have survived my final attack, Hero. The victory is yours," his voice was deep as the ocean.



She stood there, her face etched with grief and guilt. "Is this what victory looks like?" she mused, her tone dripping with mockery.



He nodded. "Yes, this is what victory looks like – a costly one, but a victory nonetheless!"



She did not reply. Her gaze turned to the man in front of her – the person who took away everything she loved, ironically the one who she fell in love with. "Are you satisfied?" she asked. "Ever since we met on that mountain, this is all you talked about. The Great War that will shake the Heavens and Earth – you had your war. So tell me, are you satisfied?"



His lips twitched, but in the end, he found the right words to speak. "I do not have any regrets,"



His words were like sharp swords to her, cutting open old wounds deep inside her heart, "Not even for what you did to me? " her voice filled with discomfort.



He sighed, "Your king warned you!, your friends warned you!….. I warned you, that what you seeking from me is something I am incapable of giving"



"Why? I never wanted you to cleave the moon in two. All I yearned for was for you to abandon this fake facade of being a Demon King, and embrace a life with me as a family." Tears streamed down her face as she argued, "We could have escaped from all of this, exchanged vows, and grown old together... we could have forged a blissful life. That's all I desired, to be by your side." Her final words hung in the air as she knelt before him, her eyes brimming with sorrow, and her captivating countenance marked by torment and anguish. "Even now, I am prepared to relinquish everything to be with you. So why do we have to end it like this?"



Her words brought a wry smile to his lips, he brought his right hand to her cheeks, slowly caressing them "I am a Demon King, Aurora, splitting the Moon is a much simpler task for me" he childishly remarked, which did not soothe the Hero before him, so he slowly stroked her head, "I did not choose to be a Demon King, neither did you choose to be a hero, it was fate's will, and the destiny of Hero and Demon King is to be each other demise because that's how fate crafted it to be, no matter what choices we make this is the ending we will come to because that is also what the fates wills."



He took a breath looking at the red sky, "You see for no matter how powerful we became, in the end, as long as I am the demon king and you the hero, we both will always be the puppets that fate strings, to move as those strings command us to move"



A pregnant silence was born. The undeniable truth started to sink into the mind of the Hero, that the love she has cannot be fulfilled



He heard her mutter, "You're right, we could never be together in this life"



With lightning-fast speed, she suddenly slashed her hand, tearing through his skin, shattering his bones, and piercing his heart, leaving him gasping for air. "Let us be together in a life where you are no longer the Demon King," she whispered into his ear. Blood gushed out from the wound she inflicted, and with a swift movement, she cradled him in her lap. "After I put down the mantle of the Hero, I will find you, and we can finally be together," she promised.



"And if fate tries to deny me again, I will sever her strings and hang her with them," she vowed.



The Demon King coughed up blood, his vision starting to blur. He knew he was dying, "Auror…" He whispered her name, his voice barely audible, and reached out to touch her face one last time



Aurora looked at him with tears in her eyes, regret and sorrow filling her heart. She had never wanted to hurt him, but she couldn't bear the thought of being his enemy in every life they lived. She had to find a way to break the cycle of fate and be with him, even if it meant taking drastic measures. As the Demon King's life slipped away, Aurora knew that this was their final moment together. She gazed at him with tears streaming down her face, feeling a deep ache in her heart.



Aurora brought his hands to her face and leaned in, pressing her lips to his in a soft and tender kiss. At that moment, nothing else mattered except for the two of them, wrapped up in each other's arms.



As they parted, tears streamed down Aurora's face as she whispered her final goodbye."I promise I will find you, no matter where you may be. I will find you!"

Ain't this 3rd PoV...?

Anyway, from this portion, I can say that your writing is all right, but there are still things to improve on. My upstairs summed it up pretty well already.

 

[Lysander_Works]

Simplistic solution is to take the time to slowly read and absorb some higher quality books, books with authors that write so well that they feel so far ahead of you. Some are discouraged by this but it only inspires me to do better. The hard part is locating those kinds of books. The older ones tend to work the best sometimes.

 

[foxoftheasterisk]

Read better books. The classics hold the best writing to understand and learn from. Using webnovels, indie novels, or tiktok stories will actively make your writing worse on average. There are good quality writings among these but they are few and far between.

Hard disagree. You actually want to read both good and bad books, and notice what makes some better than others. If you only read really good books, it'll be harder to tell what makes them good. The most important part, though, is actively taking notice of what works and what doesn't. (Hard to do on a first reading, especially for a good book, so make sure to re-read some too!)

That's long-term advice though. For short term:

• Vary your sentence structure. It seems like you mostly have long sentences with clauses separated by commas. Some of them aren't even grammatically correct, but more importantly, it's boring for all the sentences to be structured the same. Separate some things out. Use short sentences too. And where you do have long sentences, vary how they're connected; use semicolons, throw in interesting conjunctions, asides using parentheses or em-dashes, et cetera, so it's not just a list.
• Put your punchiest (most dramatic, most important, etc) stuff at the end. I was given this advice on a per-sentence basis, but I think it also applies per-paragraph and per-scene. And if it doesn't seem like you have a punchiest part to highlight... well, that's your problem right there.
• Another tip I've seen, for dialogue: rewrite it, but this time the characters can't say what they really mean. Have them dance around the most important parts, maybe make the other character draw it out.
• Some advice that I also have trouble with: skip the dialogue tags if they don't add anything. I mean the ones where they're just minor things, like:

"After I put down the mantle of the Hero, I will find you, and we can finally be together," she promised.

"And if fate tries to deny me again, I will sever her strings and hang her with them," she vowed.

Could just be:

"After I put down the mantle of the Hero, I will find you, and we can finally be together.

"And if fate tries to deny me again, I will sever her strings and hang her with them."

It's not a big difference, but it makes it flow better. (Just as long as you don't go too far, and make it unclear who's talking—but here, it's obvious because there's only two people in the scene, and the dialogue is coming at the end of a paragraph about her.)

That's all I'm thinking of for now.

 

[DWinchester]

Overall, your writing is fine. If you want a detailed critique: (changes in bold)

The thing I seemed to want to edit most was sentence length. You might try making shorter, tighter sentences, at least some of the time. Couple of tense problems. Minor.

Your writing it good. Write more it will work itself out.

Destruction... Despair… Death.

The Sky shone brightly like a ruby, and the scorched earth glistened like black obsidian. Even the mighty mountains lost their contour as destruction chipped away them while rivers cried black tears poisoning the land. (changes to vary language and sentence length)

Strewn across this desolate landscape there lay hundreds of bodies. Death was indiscriminate, and both burned men and mutilated women of all different species and factions were scattered across the ground. In the midst of all of this death, clashed the last two swords.

The first was a woman, with golden hair that was so bright it all but replaced the sun in this accursed land. If one wasn't blinded by that they would see a face that was so beautiful it could dazzle a thousand hearts in a single glance. Her body was the epitome of perfection, like a perfectly crafted doll, and her attire was a golden armor that was partially destroyed and there were bruises and the burn mark in her body but it could not dull her magnificence, nothing but the word 'Goddess' can describe her. - (hard to fix this - you call her perfect then describe her wounds. You have to explain that)

The other was a man, with hair as dark as the abyss and eyes that seemed to drink in the light. His face was sharp and chiseled, with a jawline that could cut glass, and his body was like that of a Greek god, sculpted to perfection. He exuded a menacing and demonic aura that made those around him shudder in fear even when he was sitting on a rock exhausted, and injured. (maybe a bit over the top)

The man's obsidian eyes focused on the beauty in front of him. "You have survived my final attack, Hero. The victory is yours," he said in a voice as deep as the ocean.

She stood there, her face etched with grief and guilt. "Is this what victory looks like?" she mused, her tone dripping with mockery.

He nodded. "Yes, this is what victory looks like – a costly one, but a victory nonetheless!"

 

[wimbledon]

I've reviewed some of your writing and provided some feedback. Haven't gone through all of it since my break is over, but I would agree with the other people's advice about varying your sentence structure more; long passages aren't necessarily bad, but they need to be punctuated with shorter sentences, otherwise the pace will start to drag.

Writing review

docs.google.com

 

[foxoftheasterisk]

Actually, let me just demonstrate the first two a little.

The Sky shone red like a bright ruby, The scorched earth glistened like black obsidian, the mighty mountains lost their contour as destruction chipped away their body, and rivers cried black tears poisoning the land.

There laid hundreds of bodies of men and women of different species and factions, burned, mutilated, and decaying, and in the midst of all these clashed the last two swords.

Scorched earth glistened black like obsidian. Rivers cried black tears, poisoning the land; the sheer destruction chipped away the bodies of mountains, and the sky itself shone red with spilled blood.

On this unhallowed ground, from all different species and factions, lay the corpses of hundreds of soldiers, burnt, mutilated, and decaying. Above, a clang rang out from the last two swords' clash.


Other things I did, that I didn't think of until I did them:

• Removed some articles to make it more intimate
• Changed the sky's comparison from something positive (shining ruby) to negative (spilled blood)
• Made the sword clash focus on the sound of it

If I was going to continue, I'd try to intersperse the descriptions of the Hero and Demon Lord with the action, so it's not four solid paragraphs of description followed by very little.

 

[IanWhite2105]

You should first start by using correct wording and punctuation. Correct forms of that question would be “How to improve the quality of a writing style?” or “How to improve the quality of your writing style?”.

I genuinely don’t understand why people would start posting their writing online when they incorrectly write sentences that a primary school child would be expected to get correct.

 

[MajorKerina]

I can see what you mean very quickly. You're describing things but there's no reason for why these descriptions are being told. One thing you can focus on is limit the omniscience of the narrator. Paired down on details. Decide when you want to reveal a thing. Writing practice is a huge benefit to knowing how you wanna express something but have an objective for a scene. What are you trying to accomplish with your description? Aim and focus details that way. I recently wrote a description scene. I'm not saying it's amazing but it had objectives for me and helped me write it.

---
She peered out the closest window and admired the colors of dusk blooming with bright red fighting back against the swarm of darkening blue. Dusty, golden light brilliantly skimmed the sky. Silver clouds on the horizon tinted black foreshadowed rain, but maybe in the next day or two. In Michigan, rain was an inevitability every week, but true warmth was gaining a foothold at the end of a long winter.

 

[beast_regards]

Not directly related to your prose, but small tip.

A small tip regarding the common advice slash complaint: Show don't tell.

You are more prone to telling and not showing if you write the story in 3rd person. The issue is that often the 3rd person narrative still focuses on specific characters, with their thoughts, especially about themselves, are narrated in 3rd person.

 

[GabrielTenma]

Bruh, I feel out of place here, I must be the only one who thought what he wrote was pretty good T-T

Sorry, Scribble Hub's resident trash author here. The only advice I can give you is to focus on the more important aspects that you want the reader to know, the atmosphere is important but if it's long and drawn out then the reader will feel like it's a chore to read everything. Just build it more like the point of the chapter then Atmosphere and Details after. (not scholarly advice, I know) hope it helps though!

 

[Daitengu]

In art, we are told to get good, we should mimic a variety of art styles.

I would assume it would be similar in writing. Do your best to write like your favorite author for one story. Then switch to another author for your next story.

Eventually you'll learn your subconscious writing habits from this exercise, and be able to combine what you learned from mimicry to create a solid style instead of a book report.

 

[fluffypie374]

There's never an end to self-improvement. Just gotta say, if you think your writing is bad, then my own writing must be trash.

Yet, I just fluff it up and move along

Rather than words, I just want to get a story out that I enjoy, make myself laugh a bit. As for the world building, it just becomes info dump, and then I move on. I'm a bad writer, ain't I...

Welp, my advice is worry less, write more. Let your readers be the picky ones, and take their feedback into account for your newer chapters if you believe it would make you like your own story better. If you don't, then just write however you want.

 

[Indicterra]

You should first start by using correct wording and punctuation. Correct forms of that question would be “How to improve the quality of a writing style?” or “How to improve the quality of your writing style?”.

I genuinely don’t understand why people would start posting their writing online when they incorrectly write sentences that a primary school child would be expected to get correct.

I would like to apologise

 

[Notadate]

Read more good stuff.

Or be me. And Sailus says it is good

 

[GlassRose]

Ok I'm putting together a google doc of how I personally would restructure the writing to be more effective while keeping the core of it the same, as well as my reasoning. It's not done yet but here's the link.

My advice is basically, you have to pay attention to the way you structure your sentences, so that they flow. Not just flow, they need to have a rhythm, ups and downs in emphasis, like a song, or a dance. Or poetry. A good way to practice might be to try writing free-form poetry. You can also work on building your instinct for good sentence flow by reading works by other authors, that's how I learned.

 

[Mythrnl]

I think your writing is good, but I saw two problems in my opinion which you can easily edit.

First your word choice may need some work to make your writing flow better.

One was a woman, golden hair that seemed to have replaced the sun in this accursed land, and a face that is so beautiful that it can dazzle a thousand hearts in one glance, her body was the epitome of perfection, like a perfectly crafted doll, her attire was a golden armor that was partially destroyed and there were bruises and the burn mark in her body but it could not dull her magnificence, nothing but the word 'Goddess' can describe her.

Like here, we get it, she is beautiful, perfect and in golden armor, fighting with bruises. There is no need to use 'doll' to describe her. It is jarring and completely creates a different picture. The flow of your story breaks. Just try to imagine the word separately 'doll'. Does it really need in a fighting scene even if you describing a girl? Isn't there better words for it.

The other was a man, with hair as dark as the abyss and eyes that seemed to suck the light out, his face was sharp and chiseled, with a jawline that could cut glass, and his body was like that of a Greek god, sculpted to perfection. He exuded a menacing and demonic aura that made those around him shudder in fear even when he was sitting on a rock exhausted, and injured.

Here too, you use the words 'Greek God'. Yes, the phrase is used to describe a chiseled body and whatnot but you already did that. If Greek God is not in your story, don't use the phrase. Use something simple which mesh with your story.


Second, was that you used Show Not Tell but forget to remove the Tell part of your stories.

"Why? I never wanted you to cleave the moon in two. All I yearned for was for you to abandon this fake facade of being a Demon King, and embrace a life with me as a family." Tears streamed down her face as she argued, "We could have escaped from all of this, exchanged vows, and grown old together... we could have forged a blissful life. That's all I desired, to be by your side." Her final words hung in the air as she knelt before him, her eyes brimming with sorrow, and her captivating countenance marked by torment and anguish. "Even now, I am prepared to relinquish everything to be with you. So why do we have to end it like this?"

You already conveyed that she is sorrowful in the dialog. You don't have to write it again, 'eyes brimming with sorrow,' If you want to show emotion, do it with dialog and action. And you already did which is good, but don't tell it again.
Like: Her final words hung in the air as she knelt before him, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

 

[GlassRose]

Ok I'm putting together a google doc of how I personally would restructure the writing to be more effective while keeping the core of it the same, as well as my reasoning. It's not done yet but here's the link.

My advice is basically, you have to pay attention to the way you structure your sentences, so that they flow. Not just flow, they need to have a rhythm, ups and downs in emphasis, like a song, or a dance. Or poetry. A good way to practice might be to try writing free-form poetry. You can also work on building your instinct for good sentence flow by reading works by other authors, that's how I learned.

Oops, just realized the setting I had it on, you couldn't see any of the suggestions, oops XD. Fixed.

 

[Story_Marc]

Here you go, here's advice that goes into actual detail on a lot of things.

If you want me to dissect your actual work and apply stuff, I can, but I don't do that stuff for free anymore. I could go through helping you improve as a writer if in a trade type scenario where reading my work. Otherwise, the free stuff I can offer is in that link.