How to write romance

[TotallyHuman]

I, don't like romance very much (why did I put a period there). I love the build-up to romance, when the characters are kinda getting to it, but aren't quite there yet, it is (almost) always a joy and a treat to read.
But when the characters get together, usually the romance goes downhill, unless it's put into background and is used sparingly to control the mood and the pace of the story.
I have yet to come across a romance that is written such, that it doesn't lose power over the narrative and keeps being good.
Therefore I call upon the dark and vile forces of the SMUTHUB to teach me the wicked and wretched ways of writing the most perverted fetish of all - long term emotional commitment and love after the romance is confirmed.

 

[Helvetica33]

Im not sure how to explain myself here but I think that the romance being confirmed doesnt mean that its instantly set in stone. Like, the characters still have to adapt to being in a relationship. Showing the issues they have and how they overcome them helps maintaining focus on the romance, keeping the question if they do end up together after all, and also fortifies their relationship (I mean, love confessions are cool and all, but slowly portraying how the characters learn to admit, express, show and accept love while trying to deal with whatever they have to deal with might be cooler).

 

[Zirrboy]

Continue throwing ups and downs at them.

Relationships in the real world are by no means set in stone. Some would also say that no matter what, romance will dry up with one partner over an extended period of time, but that's not what we want in flowery romance, so we'll disregard that.

Helvetica covers most of it, but hopefully this can make things a bit clearer.
You can have conflict between the two of them, like one wanting to show their relationship proudly while the other wants a more private twosomeness.
Or issues could threaten them from the outside. Fiances/past lovers if that fits your setting, one having to leave etc.

Have them fight, if you want to go that far.
Basically after you bring them together, you threaten their relationship to whatever extend you feel comfortable with.

And once they pass the down, they rekindle their affection for one another, relaxing the reader's tension and making them feel fulfilled.

But @KoyukiMegumi writes such stories, so she might be able to help more!

 

[SailusGebel]

Don't think hard about this. Romance isn't something you like, and there is no reason to force yourself to like it. Don't write it, and don't read it. It's that simple.

 

[AnnonBee]

Im not sure how to explain myself here but I think that the romance being confirmed doesnt mean that its instantly set in stone. Like, the characters still have to adapt to being in a relationship. Showing the issues they have and how they overcome them helps maintaining focus on the romance, keeping the question if they do end up together after all, and also fortifies their relationship (I mean, love confessions are cool and all, but slowly portraying how the characters learn to admit, express, show and accept love while trying to deal with whatever they have to deal with might be cooler).

When you read a story, you find a aim, like Naruto want to be hokage, or luffy want to be pirate king, even tanjiro want to save her sister. The reader feels connected to the story when they know they are going to reach a destination (a sunny ending) what they are waiting for. It is journey and when the journey end the story end too. Like Naruto and kimetsu no yaiba.

Similarly when you read a romantic novel you aim is to have a happy ending for fl and ml. But when you reach the point your hunger gets fulfilled, and you don't crave the story anymore. It isn't that the writing level of the author dropped rather without a fuck shit plot twist the reader don't feel invested in the story.

However, if you want to write a romantic story even after the main cp got together (without smut) then give the readers a different aim to concentrate on. Like fl was transmigrated in a novel and she need to survive. While it would be romantic novel, but the dumb fl would be more invested in surviving than in love. And even if she get together with ml, the ml will continue supporting her to achieve the aim, and take care of strong cannon fooder. There are many novel like that in novel transmigration, ancient china or rebirth or carrier oriented genre.

And one more thing you should do is to show love. Let the ml help fl without letting fl know or vice versa. That is one of the most common method. Unconditional love is another method.

So you get it, don't make a love sick mc, give a aim to achieve, don't tell but show love. Last but not the least make it fluffy. Good luck.

 

[SakeVision]

Romance is wish fulfillment in the purest sense. The reason why most authors cant write past certain point is that they were never in a relationship or all their relationships fell apart, and they have no idea how to portray a successful one.

The reason why they write this wish fulfillment is that they wish their relationships worked out when they didn't.

 

[KoyukiMegumi]

But @KoyukiMegumi writes such stories, so she might be able to help more!

I have been summoned!! Hm... This is hard as I don't do slow-burn romances.

A big thing, romance isn't for everyone. Everyone does it differently too. I am a hopeless romantic, yet hate slow-burn romances. Why? Because they drag out the inevitable. It becomes a drag to me. Like so much... Fuck the hand-holding, just kiss the girl already! It is what usually goes through my mind.

This works if your novel is pure romance, which is my least favorite genre. It gets boring. Like really, really boring for me. But heck people like this, and it seems OP is one of them. Sadly, this leads to a romance that is dull and lacks luster. Thus, my stories aren't romance alone.

I don't drag out the platonic relationship. Nope, my characters get it on with what they feel. But just because they fuck and have a stable relationship with one another doesn't mean everything is set in stone. Nope, they have issues that they have to work on. Either together or individually.

An ending to a romance should not be a kiss and sex. It should be a stable family, with support and care. The essential component of love. This is something a lot of romances miss. It is fine for teenage love, but let's get fucking real here. Teens fuck. They won't stay virgins if they have a relationship. So even then, it makes me unbelievable.

I am a realistic person. Thus, romance is something that people can invest their time in. Root for the couple to overcome their hardships and reach a place where they can be happy. To the point where they get married or even have children. *Or have an oopsie and they have to deal with that.* Or it can end tragically too.

That is a genuine romance, for all the sexualities out there. Some may omit sex, but the essence of love, care, and family will still be there. Most couples same gender or not want to have kids. Some don't. This can also be an issue for the couple. Something they can either work to fix or becomes the inevitable downfall.

As a hopeless romantic, I can say romance alone is shit. I am sorry to all my romance lovers, but you can't argue with me. A platonic to a loving relationship is nice, but heck, it has its limits. It won't keep anyone invested for 100 chapters if the entire plot is if they will get together or not. *Well at least me, I shouldn't talk in the general sense.* There has to be something else in there. So, I don't do romance alone.

When a lot of romances introduce issues like love triangles or rivals, I introduce monsters and racism. Hurdles the couple needs to get through. You know, like the actual world doesn't want them together, but they have to find a way to make their love work. I do romances/fantasy/adventure/action/slice of life. My stories have a little or everything. However, the main genre is romance/fantasy. They are dark too.

Like I said before, romances aren't about kisses and sex, but how you overcome obstacles together. If you feel a story dies off after the main characters fuck or say I love you, then the author did not place a good plot for you to enjoy. He or she did not do the genre of romance a decent job. Because a kiss and a hook-up should not be the end of the flare between two people. It should be the start of their lives together.

However, don't write a genre you don't like. If you don't like romance, you won't do it justice. Always write something you love. That is where it will shine. If you like platonic/slow-burn romances, then stick to those. c:

 

[K5Rakitan]

Romance is wish fulfillment in the purest sense. The reason why most authors cant write past certain point is that they were never in a relationship or all their relationships fell apart, and they have no idea how to portray a successful one.

The reason why they write this wish fulfillment is that they wish their relationships worked out when they didn't.

This is why you should read mine. I'm in three relationships, four if you count my dead boyfriend!
My wish fulfillment is about my brother fetish.

 

[ArcadiaBlade]

There are multiple interpretations of romance which it mainly depends on how the chemistry between the two lovers. For the two shy ones who just started out, they would feel awkward and do stupid things to achieve results, the already in a relationship and how the continue their romance normally or the hardcore one that tends to express their feelings through actions.

Just like building up the relationship, you can try to maintain one by giving difficulties or struggle, even if they aren't something unbelievable.

Most couples in relationship would sometimes move faster than others while some take their time and bud the relationship they have. You can try to be as slow as you want but there will be times you need to go fast due to one person being impatient. Relationships are hard to control but it is the natural process of life and it isn't easy to be predictable.

To write a good romance, you need to build up the proper chemistry between the two lovers and find out their strengths and weaknesses in full view.

Ex. A boy whose awkward would tend to be nervous and try to impress the girl while the girl would try act impatient and be more proactive in her approach. To balance their relationship, you can go with either the boy getting his manly moment and impress the girl, let the boy be dragged on and slowly feel inferior to improve himself or let their relationship proceed normally and give the characters new growth to proceed.

Like I said, can be built up. You only need to know how to build it romance just like you start their romance.

 

[SakeVision]

This is why you should read mine. I'm in three relationships, four if you count my dead boyfriend!
My wish fulfillment is about my brother fetish.

I wish I was in a sadistic mutually abusive relationship with a yandere

and I would be exclusively a bottom

 

[K5Rakitan]

I wish I was in a sadistic mutually abusive relationship with a yandere

and I would be exclusively a bottom

My best friend did that and got a divorce.

 

[SakeVision]

My best friend did that and got a divorce.

that's the norm in modern marriage

 

[LostLibrarian]

Romance is wish fulfillment in the purest sense. The reason why most authors cant write past certain point is that they were never in a relationship or all their relationships fell apart, and they have no idea how to portray a successful one.

To me, that always sounded more like an excuse by some authors who disliked research.
Going by that logic, most authors also shouldn't be able to write a fight scene or a science fiction novel or magic or whatever. We also have no experience throwing a fireball.

I don't know how many authors have been or haven't been in a relationships. But at least younger authors will mostly have less experience, that's true. But one can easily learn about writing good relationships just through research or reading other romance stories. The problem is more, that due to their own experience readers will see flaws in relationship writing faster than flaws in fight scene descriptions and the work inexperienced authors have to invest is massive.


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That said, romance as a genre is also based on a simple "Will they/Won't they" question. And based on the type of romance, that question will be answered when they get together or when a divorce happens or whatever. The "romance story" is over at this point.

So if you want to continue your romance story, you'll have to introduce a new question. And the question for the relationship would be "will they break up or not". So your romance novel would do a 180° turn from "they finally kissed and are together" to "will they break up or not"? There are a lot of YA-series who suffer this problem:
- Volume 1: Happy and together
- Volume 2: Weird problem out of nowhere and a forced "do they still love each other" plot
- Volume 3: Even worse problem and we repeat the "does he still love her" question again
....

The reason the romance often takes a backseat after the confession and turns into a romantic subplot is simply this. You don't want to throw in weird drama just to continue writing a romance. Everything after the initial question is a lot of slice of life where outside stimuli and time (knowing each other better) will be the "antagonistic force" towards the couple.

This is a lot easier to do when you have a different plot that keeps the readers' attention while the romance is slowly developing. You can have a different hook for an arc/a volume and only throw in one or two scenes of development. This will make characters look a lot more fleshed out compared to "Yesterday I loved you but today I hate you!".

There is an audience for pure slice of life we live together and every few days we learn something about each other and sometimes we even have a quarrel. But this isn't something build for mass appeal as it is slow paced and character driven (mostly internal conflicts). There is an audience, but to a lot of authors and publishers, the amount of work you have to put in isn't worth the outcome when you can have better numbers with a romantic subplot and some weird "angel-devil-drama" on top of the YA-clichés...

 

[ElijahRyne]

I, don't like romance very much (why did I put a period there). I love the build-up to romance, when the characters are kinda getting to it, but aren't quite there yet, it is (almost) always a joy and a treat to read.
But when the characters get together, usually the romance goes downhill, unless it's put into background and is used sparingly to control the mood and the pace of the story.
I have yet to come across a romance that is written such, that it doesn't lose power over the narrative and keeps being good.
Therefore I call upon the dark and vile forces of the SMUTHUB to teach me the wicked and wretched ways of writing the most perverted fetish of all - long term emotional commitment and love after the romance is confirmed.

First, do not isolate the lovers from friends and/or family. Have a strong and we’ll written cast. Isolating themselves is a common way for couples to create a toxic relationship. It works for some, but don’t bet on it. Make sure every character has as much effort and, hopefully, love put into their creation.

Also, let them slowly fall in love. Yes, you may have an emense crush on a person before you date,but that is not all love is. That feeling will wear away after a couple of years, so they need to truly love each other if they want to continue. They need to 1 be vulnerable to each other, 2 like being with each other, 3 trust each other, 4 talk to each other, 5 be able to separate from each other, 6 live with each other, and 7 be comfortable with each other. They need to not only be lovers but also be best friends and close family.

As for the relationship:

Let them date and learn about each other. Let them talk to each other. Let them make decisions together, become jealous together, cry together, laugh together. Let them disagree, and if you feel that they can make up, let them break up and find someone new. Maybe to never be a couple again.

A believable romance is like life, everchanging in its complexity, trust, mistakes, vulnerability, and understanding. If the characters refuse to open up to each other, for example, their relationship will sink.

 

[Cipiteca396]

There's a lot of good advice here, but I guess it might get lost in how wordie it is.

The reason Romance stories go stale is because the suspense disappears when they get together.

If you find a way to keep suspense (without straining suspension of disbelief) then you should be good. A lot of the above stuff is methods to do that, but they may not work for your particular story. So just remember the suspense... Or keep a different objective in mind.

I've seen a lot of stories that use romance as a way to develop their characters instead of as a main plot point, and a lot of stories that just throw it in because they wanted to. (That's not a bad thing. Best example would be the micro-triangle between Aragorn, Arwen, Eowyn, and possibly Faramir from the Lord of the Rings.)

 

[kira]

Romance is wish fulfillment in the purest sense. The reason why most authors cant write past certain point is that they were never in a relationship or all their relationships fell apart, and they have no idea how to portray a successful one.

The reason why they write this wish fulfillment is that they wish their relationships worked out when they didn't.

Haha..I write a couple CEO fluffy novels and I have to agree if I ever met a real life version of one of my MLs or side guys I would be smitten haha..defintely WISH FULLFILLMENT! I use the best and worst qualities of guys I know to create my characters.

 

[K5Rakitan]

that's the norm in "monogamous" marriage

That's why I don't do monogamy

 

[Zirrboy]

That's why I whore myself

Two can play that game, lel

But yes, both being able to find romantic fulfillment elsewhere probably does help extending the 5 or so years human relationships are designed to last.
Though it's not for everyone.

 

[K5Rakitan]

Though it's not for everyone.

You're right, monogamy is not for everyone. My parents somehow manage it, though.

 

[ConcubusBunny]

That's why I don't do monogamy

For me I love writing fluffy romance with the characters being all in love even though it's well past they're early love stage in the relationship.
I feel it makes for a more realistic healthy relationship to not cause problems for the lover by the lovers, it always felt sorta stupid to me when a relationship with a problem is caused by someone within the relationship. I mean how do you fix something like that, now matter how much effort the author puts into the relationship it can never go back to how it was prior to them Bane back breaking the relationship.

I Prefer to use external problems to not really strain the relationship, but give it some depth? Explore they're individuality? Weaknesses within the relationship? Strengthen their bond?
I don't really know I guess it one of these things, but all I know that fluffy romance + plus external problem + no romantic conflict + bad ass wizard battles to gain closeness= my sorta romance story but mostly just smut and adventure.