I don't know where I'm going with my life anymore.

[Hisaxia]

Nearly the same situation here, it feels like I'm just going through the motions every day.

 

[TotallyHuman]

They are both forms of art.

both products exist mainly for consumption

 

[Anon2024]

A Chefs job is very demanding one where you basically have to turn of your thoughts and turn on the concentration for the job.

Some people enjoy that.
Many don’t.
Which is why most people don’t work as chefs.

Most people who want to write have a lot of thoughts, and any job that requires constant concentration probably isn’t well suited to a writer type. There are always exceptions though.

Generally, if you have trouble giving yourself all the way to a task it’s because there are probably other things in your life distracting you.

maybe family is in trouble.
Maybe you can’t get the relationship you want.
Maybe you feel behind due to your age.

it can literally be any factor, but the fact remains, you’re not going to get out of it without a viable plan and a willingness to take a calculated risk.

 

[Aefener]

Your symptoms sound a lot like burnout. I know because I've been there myself several years ago. It started slowly: being constantly overworked, then gradually losing interest in the job or any kind of motivation and the end result was severe depression and deteriorating overall health. There were even days I could hardly walk so they put me in a tunnel for testing. Fortunately, it was all psychosomatic but it shows how powerful the mind is.
What helped me was changing my life's trajectory completely. I quit that job because it was making me miserable (even though, just like you, I loved it in the beginning), took three months off, found myself a good therapist and then started something else I was enthusiastic about. I was more careful about my work/life balance and mental health ever since. Strive for the best, certainly, but also be kind to yourself.
I wholeheartedly recommend these YouTube channels which helped me a ton, they talk about psychology, motivation, goals and lifestyle:
Psych2Go https://www.youtube.com/c/Psych2go
Daily Stoic https://www.youtube.com/c/DailyStoic
Better Ideas https://www.youtube.com/c/BetterIdeas

 

[Poleg]

Speaking of burnout, I'm surprised nobody suggested a vacation?
You can go on a day trip, chat with some of the locals and eat some new foods. If one day isn't enough, you can go once a month or so, to different places even.

Any sort of change to your routine should help, though. Since you mentioned them, you could try dating, spending the night at a friend's house(non-sexually/ like a sleepover), or starting a patreon for your stories.

And do make sure you take care of yourself. You mentioned a lack of sleep, and that's a serious problem. Even if it means you can't do some of the things you enjoy, make sure you're eating a variety of healthy foods, drinking water, and sleeping for at least eight hours. Maybe go to a spa, get some exercise, and get a medical exam, as well. Just to make sure everything's running green.

If you have Burnout that bad, then a vacation likely won't help that much tbh.

 

[Zsaitisl]

Hitting the gym might help you can just be there for 20 mins and play around with the machines no ones using like leg machines they should be clear on Monday, try out meditating as well

 

[Lloyd]

Just sell your books on amazon stupid

 

[DollyLamb]

So, I work as a chef. For those of you who don't know, the working hours of a chef is plain terrible, to say the least. You have to work on weekends and public holidays too. It's not helping that I have to study part-time to finish my degree study.

When I first start to work, I was pretty enthusiastic. After all, I always had an interest in cooking. Not even the huge workload and the long working hours can put me down. However, things had been changing these few months. I started to lose interest in my job, and going to work everyday became a drag. I was constantly hoping that time would go faster so that my shift would end. All I cared are going back to my house to play my games and write my novels.

At first, I cared a lot whenever I made mistakes during my shift. I would feel really guilty and keep on reminding myself not to make the same mistakes. Now? I just didn't care. I would think that if I didn't mess up, good. If I did, well, whatever.

I could tell that my colleagues were always sick of me making mistakes only a beginner would make (I've been working at the same restaurant for almost 10 months now btw), and I wanted to improve so that I could stop being a burden to them. Not anymore. A few days ago, one of them straight up asked me whether I'm putting my heart into my work. I gave him a half-hearted yes, while at the same time thinking, "I want to know the answer to that question, too."

I know I'm being a huge baby here, But I can't help it. I'm 30, still single, still living with my parents, doesn't have a safe amount of money in my bank account, and I'm causing nothing but trouble to my people around me. I'm slowly losing interest in literally everything, including on living. I was playing my games just now, and a random episode of depression hit me out of nowhere. I started to suffocate. It got so bad I stopped playing and come here so that I could write this with the hope that it would help. Well, it didn't. my chest is still heavy. Right now it's one in the morning where I'm from, my shift will start at 10, and I don't feel like sleeping since once I wake up the miserable cycle will begin anew.

That's all from me. If you read until the end, thanks for reading.

Well this is typical burnout on the work. I had it a few times. I usually change work with a condition to strife for a better position. Not sure what options chefs might have tho. But yeah u need to sit down write down all things you don't like and re asses what you want yo have. Then start searching new oaths in life.

 

[Agentt]

isnt it depression? try to do some therapy. try to think why u stop liking work as a chef? maybe u are just frustrated because u stagnate try new things! if the problem is motivation to work u can always try to make small goals!

thats not depression. depression would make a person way too tired to write such a long message, which is why they prefer to just sulk in corner.


This is just sweet old mid life crises.

quite a common thing to have.


@Blackout
i would love to talk in private with you. I am just a psychology student, so I wouldn't be anywhere near a proffesional therapist, but i may be able to provide a little more than just an year.

 

[Blackout]

How is your relationship with your parents? Do they treat you as the adult you are, or are they clinging too tightly to the image they have of you as a child? How much do they involve you in household decisions? Are you not dating because you know they won't let you have any privacy with someone special, or are there other reasons?

I'm getting along with them for the most part. For the dating part, it's mostly my own fault since I never bothered to meet someone. Thanks for asking.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

I work as a professional ass wiper. No really. I work with people who cannot wipe their own ass. At my job, you work until releave, because if I don't do my job, the clients can die. I have been mandated to work 54 hours in a row, and no, you cannot sleep.

24 hour shifts are not unheard of.


So, uh ..

Could be worse.

 

[Shard]

thats not depression. depression would make a person way too tired to write such a long message, which is why they prefer to just sulk in corner.

I can personally state that this is not always the case. Sometimes you can find enough energy to do something if it is "useless" because it doesn't need as much energy as something that you consider "useful" -- and sometimes you have more or less ability to do things. Currently I'm spending >20h/day in bed due to extreme depression, but I can still occasionally do something like write a page long message, as long as I don't see it as productive. On the other hand, despite having far more desire to work on my story, I can't put even a tenth the effort into it, because that is a productive task, and my brain just refuses.

Depression isn't always the same for everyone, we all have our own quirks that influence how we feel, act, and function overall.

Unfortunately, I do not have much advice that has not already been given. Therapy and medication do not always help, though they are both worth looking into. I'd also suggest meditation if you do not already do so, it has had one of the highest impact out of everything for me personally.

I work as a professional ass wiper. No really. I work with people who cannot wipe their own ass. At my job, you work until releave, because if I don't do my job, the clients can die. I have been mandated to work 54 hours in a row, and no, you cannot sleep.

That sounds very rough, sorry to hear you have been in those situations. I hope that things improve for you, such as them hiring more people to prevent that, though I know it is unlikely. Thank you for doing such an important job, as well, as even with the poor situations you may end up in, you make a huge difference in peoples' lives.

 

[Agentt]

I can personally state that this is not always the case. Sometimes you can find enough energy to do something if it is "useless" because it doesn't need as much energy as something that you consider "useful" -- and sometimes you have more or less ability to do things. Currently I'm spending >20h/day in bed due to extreme depression, but I can still occasionally do something like write a page long message, as long as I don't see it as productive. On the other hand, despite having far more desire to work on my story, I can't put even a tenth the effort into it, because that is a productive task, and my brain just refuses.

It is indeed true that everyone is different, we all suffer from different intensity of emotions and have different levels of energy. However, since I have yet to have a proper talk with OP, it is a reasonable generalisation

Clinical depression, which I assume you have seeing your condition, is different from depression caused due to stress or any other sources.

Clinical depression is a disorder caused due to hormonal imbalances, where your mind just can't make enough happy hormones. Whereas normal depression is just a symptom caused because your mind doesn't want you to do stupid things like jumping off a building or eating poison; hence the symptoms of being very tired and lack of appetite.

This does not mean that Clinical Depression doesn't share these symptoms, it is called depression for a reason, however the intensity is lower with the downside of being very long lasting.

In case you aren't suffering from clinical depression, I just hope you recover soon.

 

[ConansWitchBaby]

Just do what I do. Quit for a couple of months. Go on vacation and be a little selfish. Unless you where horrid with finances then, idk.

Switch to a temp agency job for a position that is at odds of what you currently do. Take some construction or become a fisherman for a few weeks.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

That sounds very rough, sorry to hear you have been in those situations. I hope that things improve for you, such as them hiring more people to prevent that, though I know it is unlikely. Thank you for doing such an important job, as well, as even with the poor situations you may end up in, you make a huge difference in peoples' lives.

Heh. I love my job,

No. Seriously. I've saved, hands on, four lives. If we count suicide prevention, hundred, but that was volunteer work separate from this job. The problem isn't the job. The problem is management. Layers 1+2 are okay, but once you leave the work site and reach the "team" level, that, and everything above that, is rotten to the core.

Oh. I am an employee for New York State, BTW.

I'm 30, still single, still living with my parents, doesn't have a safe amount of money in my bank account, and I'm causing nothing but trouble to my people around me. I'm slowly losing interest in literally everything, including on living. I was playing my games just now, and a random episode of depression hit me out of nowhere. I started to suffocate. It got so bad I stopped playing and come here so that I could write this with the hope that it would help. Well, it didn't. my chest is still heavy. Right now it's one in the morning where I'm from, my shift will start at 10, and I don't feel like sleeping since once I wake up the miserable cycle will begin anew.

Was on my phone before. Didn't get a chance o give you a detailed response.

You are doing fine.

No. Seriously. I don't lie to people or blow smoke up their ass. You're doing far better then you know. YOu are 30, which means in today's society you are just about reaching the point women will want to date you. You are single, which means no previous baggage. You don't have any kids, so no child support.

In the US, you have to pay Taxes, Student Loans, Alimony, and Child Support. Everything else, you can just file a ch7 and walk away from. There used to be shame associated with bankruptcy, but not any more. Now, filing ch7 is just another financial choice. In fact, 10 months after filing, you can buy a home with a mortgage and everything. I should know. I was a bill collector and a mortgage broker.

You are focusing on the wrong problem: You have no self-esteem.

You are spending your time getting that dopamine hit from playing video games while expressing your creativity through writing. Typical. Like, I've met you a thousand times. Don't take that as being dismissive. It just means your situation isn't unique and thus the solutions aren't hard to find either. Lets start with the obvious.

LIFE ISN'T FAIR.

Step one, stop trying to make like fair. Stop trying to assume you are owed anything, or that you owe anyone. YOu don't and they don't. Life isn't fair, and THIS IS A GOOD THING. Why? Well...

Think of every shitty thing that ever happened to you. Every horrible thing. Every Unfair thing. I shall now make your life fair. Ready? You ain't going to like it.

Spoiler: Get Ready

YOU HAD IT COMING.

Amazing, isn't it? Such a simple answer to make life fair. Well, do you think you did? I don't. You see, people tend to think in terms of Karma. They think if they are good people, they deserve good things. Well, you don't. Conversely, if something shitty happens to you, you aren't a bad person. You have a pile of good things and a pile of bad things and they don't cancel each other out. They are not on a scale. Doing good things does not make up for bad things.

So the first step i to remember life isn't fair, which means, it can be unfair, IN YOUR FAVOR. I want a world were everyone cheats and everyone wins, even if they don't deserve it. However, I suggest the following:

1. Don't cheat to win at someone else's expense.
2. Try to leave the world better than you found it.

Otherwise, cheat to your hearts content to get ahead. The world isn't fair, so you don't have to FIGHT FAIR.


Now with the paradigm shift out of the way, a few tips to fix that depression.

1. CLEAN YOUR ROOM - No. Seriously. Clean it and keep it clean. Make the bed every day before you leave. And Get out of bed. Whatever you want to do, do it anywhere else. Not in your bedroom. Get up, clean your bedroom. LEAVE. WHY? I could spend hours explaining why. Just trust me and do it. For one year. If you don't feel better, then you can ignore my advice.

2. GO FOR A RUN/BIKE - AT least once a week, run or bike somewhere. Somewhere far. like, MILES. 10 miles. I'd prefer if you took the day off and ran until you puked, but if you can only spare a few hours, run in one direction for one hour, then turn around and come back. A bike would be better, because the illusion of progress is better than running. But every week, do this. Take 3 hours out of your life, even if all you can do is walk, walk in one direction at least an hour, then take your time coming back. Run back, walk back, whatever. But at least one hour in a direction. Keep track of how far you go every time. Write it down somewhere. Do this for a year.

3. WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU EAT - No. Don't go on a diet. That's moronic. It won't work, and you will just wind up failing then hating yourself. No no no. Just write down everything you eat and then include the calories. If you don't know how many calories, you can't eat it. And WRITE IT DOWN. Get a note pad and a pencil. WRITE IT. Don't use your phone. PHYSICALLY WRITE IT OUT. Your mind remembers things differently when you write as opposed to when you type. Then, once a week, total up the calories by day and week and...

Do nothing about it.

Nope. Seriously. The point isn't to change your diet or to eat healthy. The point is to have a baseline and RECOGNIZE YOUR DIETARY HABITS. You can't change to be someone else, unless you know who you are. You need to know the baseline before you become something else. So, you learn your eating habits.

Now, as you do this, I promise you, you will eat differently, but it won't be planned. You will say to yourself, "Do I NEED to eat an entire pizza?" or "Do I REALLY want three cheeseburgers?" This is natural. The fun part about this is, unlike a normal diet, you don't actually have to change, so you can't fail. However, my experience has been, if you can actually do this for a month, you will keep it up for a year and you will start to eat healthy, automatically.

Knowing you can eat whatever you want, but knowing you CHOOSE to eat differently, rather than having some "diet plan" that you will almost always fail at and thus crush your self-esteem, is a better way to improve your health.

Do that for the next year.


I'm asking you to clean your room, spend 2 hours building up your endurance a week, and keep a food log. That's it. And...

You'll most likely fail.

Sorry, but most people do. like, 95% of my clients cannot do it for a month, much less a year. And when you fail, look in the mirror and ask yourself, "DO I WANT TO BE PROUD OF THE PERSON I AM LOOKING AT?" Then start again. Do this for a month. I want a year, but just do it for one month. When you fail, and you will, start over. If you miss a day cleaning, start over. If you forget to log your food, start over. If you forget to run in a given week, start over.

Keep doing it until you get through 30 days.

Guess what?

When you do, you won't change that much, physically. You won't see a change in your body, or your muscles. A month isn't enough time. You'll see a little bit of a chance, but that's not the point. The point is the change in your mentality. The point is to be able to look in the mirror and say, "I did this. It wasn't much, but I did it."

I have clients who can't wipe their ass. I have clients who can't walk. I have clients who are fucked up in ways that would horrify you. Each and everyone, if I can get them a goal that they do for a month, feel better and has less depression. Why? because they have something they can hang their hat on. "I CAN DO THIS." And if you say, "I CAN DO THIS." Then when you run into the next obstacle in your life, you will say, "I COULD DO THAT, I BET I CAN DO THIS."

You know why you like the video games?

Because it is a microcosm of life.

Life, is a grind. Video games simulate that grind, but speed it up, give you the results faster, and have more bells, whistles, and flashing lights. THAT IS IT. Every video game is just a grind that is easier and faster than the grind of life.

You want to be a success? Learn to grind life.

As for you "job" you hate. Guess what? You don't live to work, you work to live. You have a job to pay the bills. Everyone does. Keep the job. Don't get caught up in "following your dreams". Get a nice stable job, have a stable life, THEN use the job to follow your dreams. If you just follow your dreams, it'll end poorly. YOU ARE UNLIKELY TO BE SPECIAL.

However, you don't NEED to be special.

Like most video games, if you just grind away at life, you will get ahead. Trust me. I worked in banking and collections and mortgages. Money is a whole lot easier to come by then you think. Debt is a lot easier to get rid of then you think. But we are getting ahead of ourselves.

Try my plan for a month. If you feel better, stick to it for a year.


ADVANCED GOALS:
1. A SPENDING LOG - Track where your money is going, just like you track your calories.
2. GET YOUR OWN PLACE - Move out of your home. Your self-esteem will skyrocket the moment you are no longer dependent on others.

and after that...

S-TIER GOAL
1. GET A PARTNER - Oof. Like... avoid this. At least a year. Get your own shit together first. Also, you need to be careful. DON'T MARRY ANYONE WITHOUT YOUR PARENTS APPROVAL. Seriously. There are a lot of Gold diggers out there who will marry you just to divorce you and suck alimony out of you. Don't believe me? Get a job at a bill collection agency for a month and talk to your co-workers.

Women saying, "First marriage for money, and second for love" is far more common then you think. Even if you have "nothing", the court can make you FIND money and pay your Ex-wife, or you will GO TO JAIL. Why do you think so many men fucked over by their Ex-Wives are bill collectors? Its a commission job, so it's easy to hide your income.

Also, if you do find someone, ask to meet her father to get permission to date her: IF SHE REFUSES, RUN.

No. Seriously. This simple request will weed out 90% of the psycho women. The rest can be handled by simply making sure your parents approve.

And maybe, just maybe, if you are interested in a relationship after you move out, try asking your mom to hook you up. No. Seriously. It works. You might not find the hot supermodel, or a sex machine, but there is a good chance you will find a good woman who will be with you for the rest of your life, and not divorce you to make you a Alimony slave after 6 months.

But that's advanced life-fixing.

Start with the first three steps. Move to the advanced shit after a year. Tackle the last step when you got your life in order.

Because, trust me, having kids and raising them to be successful? Nothing will make you feel more pride and self-esteem then knowing you were a good father. But for THAT to happen, you need to get your own shit together, then find a woman who isn't a Narcissistic OnlyFans/Twitter Attention Whore.


YOU WILL BE TOLD DIFFERENT BUT...
It is okay to have standards when it comes to getting married.

You don't have to fix someone else's problems. Find a woman who isn't fucked up and has a good relationship with her father. Don't white knight, because as I said, LIFE ISN'T FAIR and no woman will feel like she has to reward you or be grateful to her 'savior'. Just get your own act together, have some pride in yourself, and be a strong and independent guy, and you will find that you will naturally attract the sort of woman you want in your life.

I'm happy being this way.
Listen to the cranky old jew.

- Bob

 

[Cipiteca396]

I forgot to mention this last time since I don't have any, but ambition will help alot with this as well. If your only goal in life is to sit at home and play video games, of course work is going to feel like a slog. It's actively interfering with your goal.

So you need to figure out what you want, and then set a goal that helps you. Having that goal will be a steady reminder of the things you need to get done. Even if it's still a slog, you'll at least have the motivation to try and push through it.

The important part is to figure out what you want, what you don't want, and how to achieve both results in the easiest way.

 

[Blackout]

I work as a professional ass wiper. No really. I work with people who cannot wipe their own ass. At my job, you work until releave, because if I don't do my job, the clients can die. I have been mandated to work 54 hours in a row, and no, you cannot sleep.

24 hour shifts are not unheard of.


So, uh ..

Could be worse.

Thank you for your hard work

Heh. I love my job,

No. Seriously. I've saved, hands on, four lives. If we count suicide prevention, hundred, but that was volunteer work separate from this job. The problem isn't the job. The problem is management. Layers 1+2 are okay, but once you leave the work site and reach the "team" level, that, and everything above that, is rotten to the core.

Oh. I am an employee for New York State, BTW.



Was on my phone before. Didn't get a chance o give you a detailed response.

You are doing fine.

No. Seriously. I don't lie to people or blow smoke up their ass. You're doing far better then you know. YOu are 30, which means in today's society you are just about reaching the point women will want to date you. You are single, which means no previous baggage. You don't have any kids, so no child support.

In the US, you have to pay Taxes, Student Loans, Alimony, and Child Support. Everything else, you can just file a ch7 and walk away from. There used to be shame associated with bankruptcy, but not any more. Now, filing ch7 is just another financial choice. In fact, 10 months after filing, you can buy a home with a mortgage and everything. I should know. I was a bill collector and a mortgage broker.

You are focusing on the wrong problem: You have no self-esteem.

You are spending your time getting that dopamine hit from playing video games while expressing your creativity through writing. Typical. Like, I've met you a thousand times. Don't take that as being dismissive. It just means your situation isn't unique and thus the solutions aren't hard to find either. Lets start with the obvious.

LIFE ISN'T FAIR.

Step one, stop trying to make like fair. Stop trying to assume you are owed anything, or that you owe anyone. YOu don't and they don't. Life isn't fair, and THIS IS A GOOD THING. Why? Well...

Think of every shitty thing that ever happened to you. Every horrible thing. Every Unfair thing. I shall now make your life fair. Ready? You ain't going to like it.

Spoiler: Get Ready

YOU HAD IT COMING.

Amazing, isn't it? Such a simple answer to make life fair. Well, do you think you did? I don't. You see, people tend to think in terms of Karma. They think if they are good people, they deserve good things. Well, you don't. Conversely, if something shitty happens to you, you aren't a bad person. You have a pile of good things and a pile of bad things and they don't cancel each other out. They are not on a scale. Doing good things does not make up for bad things.

So the first step i to remember life isn't fair, which means, it can be unfair, IN YOUR FAVOR. I want a world were everyone cheats and everyone wins, even if they don't deserve it. However, I suggest the following:

1. Don't cheat to win at someone else's expense.
2. Try to leave the world better than you found it.

Otherwise, cheat to your hearts content to get ahead. The world isn't fair, so you don't have to FIGHT FAIR.


Now with the paradigm shift out of the way, a few tips to fix that depression.

1. CLEAN YOUR ROOM - No. Seriously. Clean it and keep it clean. Make the bed every day before you leave. And Get out of bed. Whatever you want to do, do it anywhere else. Not in your bedroom. Get up, clean your bedroom. LEAVE. WHY? I could spend hours explaining why. Just trust me and do it. For one year. If you don't feel better, then you can ignore my advice.

2. GO FOR A RUN/BIKE - AT least once a week, run or bike somewhere. Somewhere far. like, MILES. 10 miles. I'd prefer if you took the day off and ran until you puked, but if you can only spare a few hours, run in one direction for one hour, then turn around and come back. A bike would be better, because the illusion of progress is better than running. But every week, do this. Take 3 hours out of your life, even if all you can do is walk, walk in one direction at least an hour, then take your time coming back. Run back, walk back, whatever. But at least one hour in a direction. Keep track of how far you go every time. Write it down somewhere. Do this for a year.

3. WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU EAT - No. Don't go on a diet. That's moronic. It won't work, and you will just wind up failing then hating yourself. No no no. Just write down everything you eat and then include the calories. If you don't know how many calories, you can't eat it. And WRITE IT DOWN. Get a note pad and a pencil. WRITE IT. Don't use your phone. PHYSICALLY WRITE IT OUT. Your mind remembers things differently when you write as opposed to when you type. Then, once a week, total up the calories by day and week and...

Do nothing about it.

Nope. Seriously. The point isn't to change your diet or to eat healthy. The point is to have a baseline and RECOGNIZE YOUR DIETARY HABITS. You can't change to be someone else, unless you know who you are. You need to know the baseline before you become something else. So, you learn your eating habits.

Now, as you do this, I promise you, you will eat differently, but it won't be planned. You will say to yourself, "Do I NEED to eat an entire pizza?" or "Do I REALLY want three cheeseburgers?" This is natural. The fun part about this is, unlike a normal diet, you don't actually have to change, so you can't fail. However, my experience has been, if you can actually do this for a month, you will keep it up for a year and you will start to eat healthy, automatically.

Knowing you can eat whatever you want, but knowing you CHOOSE to eat differently, rather than having some "diet plan" that you will almost always fail at and thus crush your self-esteem, is a better way to improve your health.

Do that for the next year.


I'm asking you to clean your room, spend 2 hours building up your endurance a week, and keep a food log. That's it. And...

You'll most likely fail.

Sorry, but most people do. like, 95% of my clients cannot do it for a month, much less a year. And when you fail, look in the mirror and ask yourself, "DO I WANT TO BE PROUD OF THE PERSON I AM LOOKING AT?" Then start again. Do this for a month. I want a year, but just do it for one month. When you fail, and you will, start over. If you miss a day cleaning, start over. If you forget to log your food, start over. If you forget to run in a given week, start over.

Keep doing it until you get through 30 days.

Guess what?

When you do, you won't change that much, physically. You won't see a change in your body, or your muscles. A month isn't enough time. You'll see a little bit of a chance, but that's not the point. The point is the change in your mentality. The point is to be able to look in the mirror and say, "I did this. It wasn't much, but I did it."

I have clients who can't wipe their ass. I have clients who can't walk. I have clients who are fucked up in ways that would horrify you. Each and everyone, if I can get them a goal that they do for a month, feel better and has less depression. Why? because they have something they can hang their hat on. "I CAN DO THIS." And if you say, "I CAN DO THIS." Then when you run into the next obstacle in your life, you will say, "I COULD DO THAT, I BET I CAN DO THIS."

You know why you like the video games?

Because it is a microcosm of life.

Life, is a grind. Video games simulate that grind, but speed it up, give you the results faster, and have more bells, whistles, and flashing lights. THAT IS IT. Every video game is just a grind that is easier and faster than the grind of life.

You want to be a success? Learn to grind life.

As for you "job" you hate. Guess what? You don't live to work, you work to live. You have a job to pay the bills. Everyone does. Keep the job. Don't get caught up in "following your dreams". Get a nice stable job, have a stable life, THEN use the job to follow your dreams. If you just follow your dreams, it'll end poorly. YOU ARE UNLIKELY TO BE SPECIAL.

However, you don't NEED to be special.

Like most video games, if you just grind away at life, you will get ahead. Trust me. I worked in banking and collections and mortgages. Money is a whole lot easier to come by then you think. Debt is a lot easier to get rid of then you think. But we are getting ahead of ourselves.

Try my plan for a month. If you feel better, stick to it for a year.


ADVANCED GOALS:
1. A SPENDING LOG - Track where your money is going, just like you track your calories.
2. GET YOUR OWN PLACE - Move out of your home. Your self-esteem will skyrocket the moment you are no longer dependent on others.

and after that...

S-TIER GOAL
1. GET A PARTNER - Oof. Like... avoid this. At least a year. Get your own shit together first. Also, you need to be careful. DON'T MARRY ANYONE WITHOUT YOUR PARENTS APPROVAL. Seriously. There are a lot of Gold diggers out there who will marry you just to divorce you and suck alimony out of you. Don't believe me? Get a job at a bill collection agency for a month and talk to your co-workers.

Women saying, "First marriage for money, and second for love" is far more common then you think. Even if you have "nothing", the court can make you FIND money and pay your Ex-wife, or you will GO TO JAIL. Why do you think so many men fucked over by their Ex-Wives are bill collectors? Its a commission job, so it's easy to hide your income.

Also, if you do find someone, ask to meet her father to get permission to date her: IF SHE REFUSES, RUN.

No. Seriously. This simple request will weed out 90% of the psycho women. The rest can be handled by simply making sure your parents approve.

And maybe, just maybe, if you are interested in a relationship after you move out, try asking your mom to hook you up. No. Seriously. It works. You might not find the hot supermodel, or a sex machine, but there is a good chance you will find a good woman who will be with you for the rest of your life, and not divorce you to make you a Alimony slave after 6 months.

But that's advanced life-fixing.

Start with the first three steps. Move to the advanced shit after a year. Tackle the last step when you got your life in order.

Because, trust me, having kids and raising them to be successful? Nothing will make you feel more pride and self-esteem then knowing you were a good father. But for THAT to happen, you need to get your own shit together, then find a woman who isn't a Narcissistic OnlyFans/Twitter Attention Whore.


YOU WILL BE TOLD DIFFERENT BUT...
It is okay to have standards when it comes to getting married.

You don't have to fix someone else's problems. Find a woman who isn't fucked up and has a good relationship with her father. Don't white knight, because as I said, LIFE ISN'T FAIR and no woman will feel like she has to reward you or be grateful to her 'savior'. Just get your own act together, have some pride in yourself, and be a strong and independent guy, and you will find that you will naturally attract the sort of woman you want in your life.

I'm happy being this way.
Listen to the cranky old jew.

- Bob

Thank you for spending your time on writing this extremely long piece of advise. I'll try my best to follow it. On a side note, I have never thought that I am special and the world owes me something. Not even once. I'm sorry if I sounded that way when I wrote the post.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

Thank you for your hard work

Thank you for spending your time on writing this extremely long piece of advise. I'll try my best to follow it. On a side note, I have never thought that I am special and the world owes me something. Not even once. I'm sorry if I sounded that way when I wrote the post.

I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about wanting life to be fair. You might be special. I don't know. Chances are you aren't. But that isn't the point. You might be special and never get what you deserve. You might be a nobody and make it big. Life isn't fair and trying to make it fair is where people trip up. Whining that you didn't get what you deserve is pointless.

But I have also seen people sabotage themselves because they got something good they didn't earn.

I always start with trying to kill this desire for "karma". Because a world with karma would be nice. It doesn't exist, but people try to MAKE the world fair, even if it involves shooting yourself in the foot.

Accept life as it comes. That's my point.

 

[Creme]

Though there is no tangible way that I could help you, I sincerely hope things get better for you.

 

[Maze_Runner]

What relationships do restaurants have with web fictions? Scientists can't seem to figure it out!

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