Life at a Japanese school AMA

[Ai-chan]

Ai chan! Ai chan! A question!

... Do people actually start dating and like... Not kiss right away?

It feels so weird for me when I see it in mangas. I just assume by default that people would kiss as soon as they start dating at the very minimum.

Yes, it usually takes a long time from confession to kissing. In many cases, underaged couples don't kiss at all, or at least not on the lips. You have to understand the difference in culture. In the west, kissing is probably normal, that's why among the Japanese and pretty much every East and South East Asian cultures (except maybe Thailand), there's this 'kissing is like greeting in the west' assumption. For us, we're really baffled by how quickly the westerners resort to kissing on the lips. In every Hollywood movie, there would be men and women kissing. And we'd be like, "Why?" Among the older generation, it's even seen as a sign of immorality.

Now, that is not to say that dating couples don't kiss at all. But kissing on the lips is something considered carnal. That is, you do it when you want to have sex. You don't do it in front of people or as a greeting. Even a husband would not normally kiss their wives on the lips when they get home. Husbands would kiss their wives on the cheeks and on the forehead, but that's it, at least until they're alone in bed.

japanese porn would probably make people think this is something like hypocrisy, but porn is a fantasy. It is allowed because it's considered a fantasy, similar to literature. Had it happen in the real world though, the person doing it would almost immediately be arrested.

 

[Florestes]

!!! Ok, I'm going to jump on this question real quick...
Does "Yuri" actually happen? Is it seen as acceptable by peers/people? Is it openly possible to tell or does everyone keep it hidden like their porn browsing history?
Do people hide away that they are Yuri?
Is it seen as "eh, they are young, should grow out of it in a few years" and left alone?
How badly distorted are our fantasy/day dreaming/wishful thinking/hopes and reams from realty?

 

[Ai-chan]

!!! Ok, I'm going to jump on this question real quick...
Does "Yuri" actually happen? Is it seen as acceptable by peers/people? Is it openly possible to tell or does everyone keep it hidden like their porn browsing history?
Do people hide away that they are Yuri?
Is it seen as "eh, they are young, should grow out of it in a few years" and left alone?
How badly distorted are our fantasy/day dreaming/wishful thinking/hopes and reams from realty?

Happen? Yes.
Acceptable? No.
There are girls who do look like they're playing for the same team. But it is considered rude to point it out or act on it. So while there are girls who clearly look like they're into girls, they're not confronted about it.
In most cases though, people do hide the fact that they're lesbian. Unless of course, you're in an all-girls high school like Ai-chan did. Even so, you'd still try your best to not make it so obvious. Because romance is against school rules, regardless of whether it be boy-girl or girl-girl. Also, Japanese society is actually not so accepting of lesbianity unlike in anime.

You remember how girls touch each other's titties while changing for PE? That never happen.
Getting naked in the changing room in front of each other? Never happen.
Getting down to bra and panties when changing in front of each other? Almost never happen. We actually changed clothes under our towels. Though there are girls who for some reason love flaunting their naked titties in front of other girls. Ai-chan has met two of such girls. One back in theatre club and one in Ai-chan's own class.
Lesbian girls kissing in class? That actually happened in Ai-chan's all-girls school, but that was when they were alone after school ended for the day.

Ai-chan doesn't know what else.

 

[Florestes]

Getting naked in the changing room in front of each other? Never happen.
Getting down to bra and panties when changing in front of each other? Almost never happen.

The hell? For real? This sounds very impractical.
Can't say about the girls, but us boys got down to our birthday suits to go shower after gym class and there was no such luxury like private shower cabins or whatnot. Even in high school/college. Everyone cared more about not stinking like animals, than modesty.

Hmm...
What about the CUTESY SOUNDS/YELPS resonating from the forbidden girls' changing room!? The allure! The mystery! The imagination running wild!
Also...DAMN YOU ANIME!!! DAMN YOU!!!

 

[AliceShiki]

Yes, it usually takes a long time from confession to kissing. In many cases, underaged couples don't kiss at all, or at least not on the lips. You have to understand the difference in culture. In the west, kissing is probably normal, that's why among the Japanese and pretty much every East and South East Asian cultures (except maybe Thailand), there's this 'kissing is like greeting in the west' assumption. For us, we're really baffled by how quickly the westerners resort to kissing on the lips. In every Hollywood movie, there would be men and women kissing. And we'd be like, "Why?" Among the older generation, it's even seen as a sign of immorality.

Now, that is not to say that dating couples don't kiss at all. But kissing on the lips is something considered carnal. That is, you do it when you want to have sex. You don't do it in front of people or as a greeting. Even a husband would not normally kiss their wives on the lips when they get home. Husbands would kiss their wives on the cheeks and on the forehead, but that's it, at least until they're alone in bed.

japanese porn would probably make people think this is something like hypocrisy, but porn is a fantasy. It is allowed because it's considered a fantasy, similar to literature. Had it happen in the real world though, the person doing it would almost immediately be arrested.

Oh my, that's quite strange from my PoV...

But tbh, kissing is kind of a greeting over here. Like... Hugging and kissing someone on the cheeks is absolutely normal over here as a greeting. I do it even when meeting someone for the first time.

Kissing on the lips is obviously only done by people on a relationship (or well, drunk people at teenager parties and stuff), but it's also something pretty casual that kinda happens all the time. It's not meaningless, but it's also nothing that should be done in private or anything like it.


Oh oh! And on the matter of relationships, what about name usage? In manga it's surprisingly common for characters to keep using surnames or "senpai" to refer to one another even after they start dating... Does that happen IRL too? Or do they quickly switch to first name basis?

Getting down to bra and panties when changing in front of each other? Almost never happen. We actually changed clothes under our towels.

That seems kinda impractical and hard to actually do, but definitely better than actually getting down to bras and panties in front of others.

Over here we didn't change clothes for PE, we just used our normal uniform (we also didn't have showers on the school or anything, for the record, so no showering after PE)... But if I wanted to change clothes for anything, I'd usually just go to the bathroom. I always thought it was strange that mangas showed people openly changing... Changing under towels definitely makes more sense.

The hell? For real? This sounds very impractical.
Can't say about the girls, but us boys got down to our birthday suits to go shower after gym class and there was no such luxury like private shower cabins or whatnot. Even in high school/college. Everyone cared more about not stinking like animals, than modesty.

Hmm...
What about the CUTESY SOUNDS/YELPS resonating from the forbidden girls' changing room!? The allure! The mystery! The imagination running wild!
Also...DAMN YOU ANIME!!! DAMN YOU!!!

This non-ironically seems inhumane. You should at least have some privacy when showering.

 

[Florestes]

This non-ironically seems inhumane. You should at least have some privacy when showering.

There is that half transparent plastic wall to separate shower spots? I mean, you don't go there to ogle your classmates, but for a quick rinse. I've seen similar set-ups used in UK gyms, you just wear swimming trunks for privacy.

Over here we didn't change clothes for PE, we just used our normal uniform (we also didn't have showers on the school or anything, for the record, so no showering after PE)

And really, 10 sweating young men after half an hour of exercise make a small classroom reek in a matter of minutes. Showing after gym class was practically an unwritten rule. Unless you are one of those people who don't sweat or smell after running around. (I always sweat like a pig.)

 

[AliceShiki]

There is that half transparent plastic wall to separate shower spots?

Still seems absurd to me... Should at least be a properly opaque shower booth.

And really, 10 sweating young men after half an hour of exercise make a small classroom reek in a matter of minutes. Showing after gym class was practically an unwritten rule. Unless you are one of those people who don't sweat or smell after running around. (I always sweat like a pig.)

I do understand where you're coming from, but as no school I have ever been to had showers in it... Well, it's not something that ever felt necessary to me.

Though there is also the fact that I don't feel smells for the most part, so maybe all my classmates hated the fact they couldn't shower after PE, but I never noticed it because I couldn't smell anything... Either way, it's just not a thing where I live.

 

[Ai-chan]

Oh my, that's quite strange from my PoV...

But tbh, kissing is kind of a greeting over here. Like... Hugging and kissing someone on the cheeks is absolutely normal over here as a greeting. I do it even when meeting someone for the first time.

Kissing on the lips is obviously only done by people on a relationship (or well, drunk people at teenager parties and stuff), but it's also something pretty casual that kinda happens all the time. It's not meaningless, but it's also nothing that should be done in private or anything like it.


Oh oh! And on the matter of relationships, what about name usage? In manga it's surprisingly common for characters to keep using surnames or "senpai" to refer to one another even after they start dating... Does that happen IRL too? Or do they quickly switch to first name basis?

That seems kinda impractical and hard to actually do, but definitely better than actually getting down to bras and panties in front of others.

Over here we didn't change clothes for PE, we just used our normal uniform (we also didn't have showers on the school or anything, for the record, so no showering after PE)... But if I wanted to change clothes for anything, I'd usually just go to the bathroom. I always thought it was strange that mangas showed people openly changing... Changing under towels definitely makes more sense.

This non-ironically seems inhumane. You should at least have some privacy when showering.

Yes, in real life, it takes a long time for someone to switch to first name basis. Basically it's like this, using Ai-chan's name (Shiina Airi) as basis:

For an upperclassmen: Shiina-senpai
For someone you don't know or are not close to: Shiina-san
For someone who just happens to be in your class: Shiina-san
For someone in your class who you know but is of the opposite gender: Shiina-san
For someone in your class who you regularly converse with and is the same gender: Airi-chan/Airi-san
For someone in your class who you feel very close to and can banter with: Ai-chan
For gf who had just accepted your confession: Shiina-san
For gf who is close enough to hold hands and you've felt comfortable enough with: Airi-san
For gf who has been your gf for a long time: Airi/Ai
For a good friend who you feel like can help you every single time: Ai-emon

The hell? For real? This sounds very impractical.
Can't say about the girls, but us boys got down to our birthday suits to go shower after gym class and there was no such luxury like private shower cabins or whatnot. Even in high school/college. Everyone cared more about not stinking like animals, than modesty.

Hmm...
What about the CUTESY SOUNDS/YELPS resonating from the forbidden girls' changing room!? The allure! The mystery! The imagination running wild!
Also...DAMN YOU ANIME!!! DAMN YOU!!!

We do make cutesy sounds, by boys standards. But since we didn't spend long changing clothes, we don't really have much time to like play around. It was like boys leave, change clothes, and then get out.

 

[AliceShiki]

Yes, in real life, it takes a long time for someone to switch to first name basis. Basically it's like this, using Ai-chan's name (Shiina Airi) as basis:

For an upperclassmen: Shiina-senpai
For someone you don't know or are not close to: Shiina-san
For someone who just happens to be in your class: Shiina-san
For someone in your class who you know but is of the opposite gender: Shiina-san
For someone in your class who you regularly converse with and is the same gender: Airi-chan/Airi-san
For someone in your class who you feel very close to and can banter with: Ai-chan
For gf who had just accepted your confession: Shiina-san
For gf who is close enough to hold hands and you've felt comfortable enough with: Airi-san
For gf who has been your gf for a long time: Airi/Ai
For a good friend who you feel like can help you every single time: Ai-emon

Ooooooooh, thanks for the in-depth reply!

... It's still quite shocking for me though. Like... I get that different cultures and stuff, so I get people using surnames to talk to one another (I never referred to anyone by surname back in school... I didn't even know their surnames for the most part. Even teachers were called by first name and stuff), but it's still quite wild for me to imagine referring to your gf/bf by their surname even after you start dating... Oh well, cultural things. Feels a bit strange to me, but I guess it's fine~

Ah! And what does the "-emon" mean? I never saw this one before! >.<

 

[Ai-chan]

Ooooooooh, thanks for the in-depth reply!

... It's still quite shocking for me though. Like... I get that different cultures and stuff, so I get people using surnames to talk to one another (I never referred to anyone by surname back in school... I didn't even know their surnames for the most part. Even teachers were called by first name and stuff), but it's still quite wild for me to imagine referring to your gf/bf by their surname even after you start dating... Oh well, cultural things. Feels a bit strange to me, but I guess it's fine~

Ah! And what does the "-emon" mean? I never saw this one before! >.<

 

[Florestes]

Hold on there for a moment!
Isn't Japan the land of hot springs?
Isn't showing off your naked body the cultural norm out there? Or is that one of those "the right place and time" situation?
I was very much under the impression that Japanese people weren't the shy and modest type in that regard.

 

[Ai-chan]

Hold on there for a moment!
Isn't Japan the land of hot springs?
Isn't showing off your naked body the cultural norm out there? Or is that one of those "the right place and time" situation?
I was very much under the impression that Japanese people weren't the shy and modest type in that regard.

Yes, Japanese people get naked in hot springs and public bathhouses. Why would you wear clothes when you're taking a bath? The key is not getting naked to show off your body, but you're getting naked to clean your body. There is no need to get naked when changing clothes for PE.

So if you want to peep on naked girls, gender-change and then go into a girls only bath.

 

[Florestes]

Yes, Japanese people get naked in hot springs and public bathhouses. Why would you wear clothes when you're taking a bath? The key is not getting naked to show off your body, but you're getting naked to clean your body. There is no need to get naked when changing clothes for PE.

Oh... ok. It's more of a mentality distinction then. Got it.

So if you want to peep on naked girls, gender-change and then go into a girls only bath.

Eeeeehh... No thanks, unless you've got a de-aging machine... ... Ah, I see. No sharing policy. Fine, fine.

Thanks anyway

 

[Florestes]

For an upperclassmen: Shiina-senpai
For someone you don't know or are not close to: Shiina-san
For someone who just happens to be in your class: Shiina-san
For someone in your class who you know but is of the opposite gender: Shiina-san
For someone in your class who you regularly converse with and is the same gender: Airi-chan/Airi-san
For someone in your class who you feel very close to and can banter with: Ai-chan
For gf who had just accepted your confession: Shiina-san
For gf who is close enough to hold hands and you've felt comfortable enough with: Airi-san
For gf who has been your gf for a long time: Airi/Ai
For a good friend who you feel like can help you every single time: Ai-emon

Shiina-sama!
Do girls, in an all girls school choose a senior/just a mature girl to address as "onee sama"? Shojo manga levels? (Not that I read them, my browser history is clean.) Or is that strictly fiction? A privilege for the heaven's chosen? Banter between classmates? (Like pet names/nicknames)

 

[Venusaur26]

Any experience Ai-chan considers worthy for a novel?

 

[Ai-chan]

Shiina-sama!
Do girls, in an all girls school choose a senior/just a mature girl to address as "onee sama"? Shojo manga levels? (Not that I read them, my browser history is clean.) Or is that strictly fiction? A privilege for the heaven's chosen? Banter between classmates? (Like pet names/nicknames)

Do girls in all-girls schools call a senior as onee-sama? Short answer yes.

But explaining this is a bit harder. Let's take for example, Maria-sama ga Miteru. Juniors don't go up to a senior with flower to ask them to take them as their little sisters. It's never that official. The seniors or older sisters, are by right expected to take care of their juniors. You don't have to ask them for protection or partnership deals.
Are there lesbian seniors who prey on little sisters? Yes.
Are there lesbian juniors who seduce big sisters? Yes.
Are there non-lesbian girls who get lesbian relationships with other girls? Yes.
Do you sometimes see girls kissing? Yes. Though sometimes you're watching them together with the ghost of a former nun. If Ai-chan is not mistaken, they called her Sister Betty. According to people who saw her, she didn't harm people, she just watched girls kissing.

Banters between classmates is normal. Ai-chan's name is Shiina Airi, but Ai-chan has been called Ai-chan, Shii-chan, Ai-ai, Erotsura (porn face) and Aitsura (sex face).

Any experience Ai-chan consider worthy for a novel?

There are many experiences Ai-chan consider worthy for a novel. Such as:
1. Fujimiya-san's rise from absolute noob in kyuudo until she became so good at archery she managed to split an arrow in the middle.
2. Saori's story of how she built a bike from bamboo.
3. Mira's volleyball battles
4. Kimura-san's perfect bullseyes (kyuudo). He managed to get 100% bullseyes in practice, but always failed in competitions because of his nerves.

 

[CubicleHermit]

Can't say about the girls, but us boys got down to our birthday suits to go shower after gym class and there was no such luxury like private shower cabins or whatnot. Even in high school/college. Everyone cared more about not stinking like animals, than modesty.

That sounds like a typical American high school.

Mine didn't have working showers (except at the swimming pool we borrowed access to), but almost all of the guys (90%?) still just changed in one big locker room. A few folks were modest/embarrassed enough to change in a bathroom stall instead, or just wore sweat pants and a collarless on gym days so they didn't have to change.

 

[SailusGebel]

Was professional wrestling(WWE, NJPW, AJPW, Stardom, etc.) popular in your school? Perhaps someone wanted to become a wrestler?

 

[Ai-chan]

Was professional wrestling(WWE, NJPW, AJPW, Stardom, etc.) popular in your school? Perhaps someone wanted to become a wrestler?

As far as Ai-chan knows, nobody in Ai-chan's schools practiced wrestling. No kickboxing or taekwondo either. Martial arts clubs in our school were judo, aikido, karate and kendo. When Ai-chan studied at the all-girls school, there was a petition for sumo club as well, but the teachers rejected the application. Probably because they guessed the girls who petitioned for sumo just wanted to grope each other's half-naked bodies in public.

Ai-chan didn't join any of the martial arts clubs back in school, except for kyudo, which is Japanese archery but that's more of a philosophical and spiritual journey than the idea of getting stronger. Ai-chan did join kenjutsu long after graduating school, though. Kenjutsu is like kendo, but kendo is the art of winning competitions using a bamboo sword. Kenjutsu is the art of killing with a sword, though Ai-chan's specialty is naginata.

 

[Florestes]

Ai-chan! I forgot to ask before, but...
Do the students follow sub cultures? Like emo, goth, punk, tech geek. (The only ones I've personally encountered.)
Something within the boundary of your school's rules. A spark to show their unique individuality? Or is that too much of standing out?