Paul's feedback thread

[Paul_Tromba]

Thanks! I’m not sure who the audience is either. It's too dark for YA but too hopeful for grimdark.

I would consider it an adventure hope-filled tragedy for adults from what I read. You are correct that isn't dark enough for Grimdark and too dark for YA. YA novels always seem to get a bad rap among reviewers so I would avoid that if possible.

 

[Notadate]

I’ll post mine once I finish it, we’ll, till chap 3

Current plans: 2 fight, 3 plan

 

[Paul_Tromba]

@HellerFeed

 

[HellerFeed]

@HellerFeed

Thanks a lot!
Really appreciate going to all the lengths to make these audiobooks.
Also, you got a soothing voice there

 

[Paul_Tromba]

Thanks a lot!
Really appreciate going to all the lengths to make these audiobooks.
Also, you got a soothing voice there

Thank you. I'm glad you like it.

 

[Rhaps]

Rating system:
Grammar, rated 5
Spelling, rated 4
Plot, rated 4
characterization, rated 4
Enjoyment, rated 5
4.4 / 5

Your grammar is top-notch. There are a few minor spelling mistakes but most are rare and hard to notice. The plot is amazing but you could use a better hook within the first few chapters. Mostly it is just lore and character introductions. That said, all of these are really well done as the characters are absolutely amazing with great introspective views into their values as people. I highly enjoyed it and would absolutely keep reading it.

Thank you for your review! Sorry for getting back so late (Just noticed the review yesterday lol)

But yeah, I intentionally give out as much basic lore as I can.

I wanted to give out the ground work of the world before going to the juicy bits while also build characters, especially the MC. Giving a glimpse at she really is.

 

[Paul_Tromba]

Magical Girl? I’m not sure about this.

A manly guy get chosen by a pink bird to become a magical girl. It is heavily inspired by games like trance female fantasy, monster girl island, and magical camp. Note: The only place this is posted is Scribblehub, if it shows up somewhere else it has been stolen.

www.scribblehub.com

You could do mine if you want though it is gender bender. Also the first few chapters are a bit longer than the norm.

Rating system:
Grammar, rated from 5
Spelling, rated 4
Plot, rated 4
characterization, rated 4
Enjoyment, rated 4
Total 4.2 / 5

The premise is great. The grammar is top notch with only minor spelling mistakes. The plot is good and is very easy to understand. The characters feel real and very well-established. I did enjoy it but probably wouldn’t keep reading due to it being gender bender and I’m not personally a fan of it. That said, I think it is very well done and think it can do well.

 

[avaseofpeonies]

Well, this seems like fun, and I'd sure like to get more eyes on Salvage if you wouldn't mind. I know it's probably not your usual cup of tea, but I promise you won't encounter any m/m situations in the first three chapters, just the intro of the female MC.

Salvage: A Steampunk/ Gaslamp Fantasy Romance (F/M, M/M)

A Steampunk/ Gaslamp Fantasy Romance set in the industrial revolution era of a fictional world. Magic, mad science, multicultural ambience, and political intrigue all tightly laced up into one corset and powered by the steam of two romances - one F/M and one M/M. Intended for mature...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[melchi]

Rating system:
Grammar, rated from 5
Spelling, rated 4
Plot, rated 4
characterization, rated 4
Enjoyment, rated 4
Total 4.2 / 5

The premise is great. The grammar is top notch with only minor spelling mistakes. The plot is good and is very easy to understand. The characters feel real and very well-established. I did enjoy it but probably wouldn’t keep reading due to it being gender bender and I’m not personally a fan of it. That said, I think it is very well done and think it can do well.

Thanks for the kind words.

 

[Paul_Tromba]

@Kureous

 

[Kureous]

@Kureous

Tsuruno and Lydia's voices were... interesting...
But, like others have already said, I love your narrating voice, and I'll work on my story's grammar to make it easier to read next time.
Arigatou gozaimasu!

 

[Paul_Tromba]

Tsuruno and Lydia's voices were... interesting...
But, like others have already said, I love your narrating voice, and I'll work on my story's grammar to make it easier to read next time.
Arigatou gozaimasu!

You're welcome. I know the female voices are bad but I just found the voice changer and I'm still figuring it out. Also, I have no female VA so I apologize.

 

[Kureous]

You're welcome. I know the female voices are bad but I just found the voice changer and I'm still figuring it out. Also, I have no female VA so I apologize.

I understand. No worries. Honestly, this feels like a dream come true. I've been writing solo for three years and everyone around me thought it was a waste of time. I'm thrilled that my story is finally getting recognition, that I have readers, and that there's a YouTube channel discussing it.

 

[Paul_Tromba]

I understand. No worries. Honestly, this feels like a dream come true. I've been writing solo for three years and everyone around me thought it was a waste of time. I'm thrilled that my story is finally getting recognition, that I have readers, and that there's a YouTube channel discussing it.

A youtube channel with 19 subscribers so far. Gotta bump those numbers so you'll can get some real recognition.

 

[Kureous]

A youtube channel with 19 subscribers so far. Gotta bump those numbers so you'll can get some real recognition.

Everybody starts from somewhere
I'll be cheering u on.

 

[ArrogantYoungMaster]

It's not my webnovel, but this daoist thinks that it would score high on your feedback and do well on your YouTube channel.

I was reborn as a demon lord in another world but my morals contradict my title

Having been summoned to this world as the next Demon Lord, Legion found himself surrounded on all sides by subservient demons. However, he has no idea what they want, nor does he know his purpose. Learning that these demons' morals were flipped on their head compared to his own, he...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Paul_Tromba]

I will not be reading my own story... Yet.

It's not my webnovel, but this daoist thinks that it would score high on your feedback and do well on your YouTube channel.

I was reborn as a demon lord in another world but my morals contradict my title

Having been summoned to this world as the next Demon Lord, Legion found himself surrounded on all sides by subservient demons. However, he has no idea what they want, nor does he know his purpose. Learning that these demons' morals were flipped on their head compared to his own, he...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Five6212]

You're welcome. I know the female voices are bad but I just found the voice changer and I'm still figuring it out. Also, I have no female VA so I apologize.

I have an idea... could you add subtitles maybe using a subtitle generator; I think it would make it easier for people watching. No pressure though

 

[Paul_Tromba]

I have an idea... could you add subtitles maybe using a subtitle generator; I think it would make it easier for people watching. No pressure though

That's why I have the story in the background of the video, so people can follow along. I could add subtitles but it would be kind of redundant. Plus, YouTube won't let me add subtitles for reasons I do not know.

 

[Five6212]

That's why I have the story in the background of the video, so people can follow along. I could add subtitles but it would be kind of redundant. Plus, YouTube won't let me add subtitles for reasons I do not know.

Alright