Writing Prompt Start story with "This Edible Ain't Shit"

[ACertainPassingUser]

Idk man.

 

[K5Rakitan]

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be giving a shit or taking a shit right now.

 

[Poleg]

Mark finally decided to finally try those edibles.
" Man those edibles ain't shit."
5 minutes later he overdosed.

 

[StrongArm]

"This edible aint shit" Said Jesus to the 8 armed goddess Kali.

Jesus had to play it cool if he wanted to get into the hot yoga pants of the sexy, blue-skinned, goddess of death.

Kali was the hottest influencer among all the gods & goddesses, but she was notoriously fickle. Jesus knew that if his game wasn't on point, then Kali would use her 8 arms to bitch-slap the black off his ass.

"I got you boi, jus' dip it in a lil datura powder, to give it that extra kick" said Kali with an evil grin...

 

[georgelee5786]

"This edible aint shit," Matthew casually commented to the tentacle monster dressed in a tuxedo.

 

[BenJepheneT]

"Man this edible ain't shit"

"Jason, that's weed you're eating."

"That's what I said, this weed ain't shit."

"No Jason, you're literally chewing on wild grass. We haven't even reached the dealer yet."

 

[TotallyHuman]

This edible ain't shit - I kid you not, the principal ran out of the burning building in his underpants, screaming that. He also had an inflatable horse furry costume in his hand for some... let's not talk about that.

 

[NotOriginal]

"This edible aint shit." John says taking two more.
"Bro we told you not to--"
"It aint shit! Bro I downed like 3 pounds of weed on 420! This is not--!?"
The edibles kicked in. The world began to spin and turn more colorful.
"Ooh fuuuuuuuu~"
Reality and hallucinations began to blend together.
"He* *an y*u ok**?"
"Uhh... Y-yeah um... I'm just gonna sit down for a minute."
John slowly sits down on the couch and as he leans back he falls through the couch.
"Oh shit!! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~"
Thus begin John's multiverse adventure.

 

[Cipiteca396]

I read the title as something about the Edible Saint. I'd much rather read a story about an Edible Saint.

 

[IanWhite2105]

This edible ain’t shit. Eight hours later I somehow ended up at a bed and breakfast in Norway with 17 naked people on the floor, an empty briefcase chained to my arm, and a tattoo on my dickhead. Waking up to a loud roar, I see what appears to be 2 tigers painted with a dozen colours. One tiger is rolling about on the gravelly yard while the other is sitting on it hind paws swiping at something in the air. Looking around I find a still burning bonfire with clothes strewn about in the grass around it, none of which I believe to be my own.

 

[RepresentingEnvy]

"This edible ain't shit."
Bob said as he also took a hit.
Bob fell out of his chair as he bled.
Bob is now dead.

 

[TotallyHuman]

I read the title as something about the Edible Saint. I'd much rather read a story about an Edible Saint.

I'd show you how to eat a saint out but I'm not into that

 

[Lloyd]

No

 

[Alfir]

​

This Edible Aint Shit! Do you know what a rambutan is? It's those red prickly round stuff full of sweetness. A little bit ticklish and prickly to the touch, definitely a tropical fruit you will never have enough.

From here on, try various derivatives of an advertisement starting with 'This Edible ain't Shit'. Yeah, I know, it doesn't;t make a compelling story.

 

[georgelee5786]

"Man this edible ain't shit"

"Jason, that's weed you're eating."

"That's what I said, this weed ain't shit."

"No Jason, you're literally chewing on wild grass. We haven't even reached the dealer yet."

This prompt was made for Benj

 

[AliceShiki]

"This edible ain't shit." I told the teacher.

"First of all, it's 'this shit ain't edible'. Secondly, you shouldn't swear when making phrases. Try something else." The teacher replied.

"This food tastes horrible, to the point I cannot believe it is edible?" I tried again.

"Okay, that's better." The teacher patted my head.

 

[ulatekh]

“This edible ain’t shit,” Brandon groused. “Sure hope Aiden shows up soon.”
Eight teenagers lounged in the living room, some on the sofa, a few sitting on the floor. A random playlist of viral TikTok hits played on the TV. “So…” Kayla giggled, looking at Justin. “Would you rather…ummm…lick peanut butter off a homeless guy’s foot, or…get locked in a cage with a ferocious tiger?” The girls broke out in giggles.
“Eww,” Justin blanched. “What’s that supposed to reveal?”
“I dunno,” Kayla snickered. “Tell us and we’ll find out!”
“I have a better idea,” Aiden announced, entering the living room.
“Hey,” Kayla pouted. “It’s my turn!”
“Would you rather…keep playing this game,” Aiden asked, “or…try this new party drug?” He produced a glass vial with several small dark-purple gelcaps.
Hannah looked bemused. “What are they supposed to do?”
“I got them from some college nerd; it’s a new kind of psychedelic. He said they’ll reveal…your true form.”
The teens exchanged uncertain glances. “Sure, I’m in,” Brandon declared. Aiden tapped the vial to give him a single pill, then took one for himself. “You’re supposed to crush it with your teeth, then wash it down.”
“Fine, give me one too,” agreed Melissa. The rest proffered their hands; each followed Aiden’s directions, then sat in a circle. “How long does this take?”
“Any moment now,” Aiden promised. “You will all manifest your hidden selves.”
“I don’t feel I belong,” Tyler bemoaned, looking pale. “I can’t share how I really feel.” Everyone gasped as he appeared in a prison jumpsuit, surrounded by bars.
“I’m nobody special,” Danielle pined. Her face had gone blank, her clothes replaced by simple polygons. “I feel so plain…like a blank slate.”
“I’m so ugly,” Melissa cried, her body bloating in really unattractive ways. “No one will ever love me.”
“I don’t know any of you,” Hannah lamented, sitting alone on a deserted island. “None of you are my friends.”
“I knew it,” Kayla cried, appearing as a grotesque clown. “I’m just a joke to all of you!”
“I can’t breathe!” Brandon gasped, clutching at his neck. “Oh, it’s this tie. Oh no, I’m going to have to work for my dad the rest of my life, aren’t I?”
“Me too,” Justin grieved, appearing in an oil-stained jumpsuit. “Just be glad you’ll be in an air-conditioned office.”
“Now you see the hidden truth,” Aiden menaced, “and it will destroy you.” He sported horns, a goatee beard, a red pointed tail, and a malevolent smile.
“Not me!” exulted Nicholas, dressed in the height of hipster fashion, surrounded by a bohemian mansion. “I knew I’d be a successful artist!” He looked around. “Isn’t this great, guys?”
Nicholas watched the others turn green with envy and become larger as their anger grew. In a flash, they beat him to a pulp, not stopping until long after he had ceased to move.
“How dare he think he’s better than us!” Danielle sniffed.
“But we’ve become savages!” Hannah anguished.
“Nonsense,” Danielle assured. “We’ll be fine.”
Their unease grew as they realized they remained green and monstrous.

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

I'd show you how to eat a saint out but I'm not into that